Remember when it rained

Title: Remember when it rained
Author: Kitten
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Genre: songfic
Warning: angst
Rating: PG
Notes: This is the companionpiece to “My confession”. Just another songfic based ona Josh Groban song.
I can’t help it, his music is inspiring, *dreamy sigh*. But so sad. Don’t be surprised
that this one is even more angsty and depressing than the first fic I wrote with his help.
I’m thinking of bringing my much needed happy end in a fic related to these, but school
is killing me with an unimaginable workload, well we’ll see…

Uh, that’s my strange idea of a song fic again, hope you can stand it ^-^

Disclaimer: Neither Harry nor Draco belong to me, no matter how much I wish it, they belong to JKR
„Remember when it rained“ belongs to Josh Groban. I make no money with this and don’t want
break any copylaws, I’m just scribbling around and dreaming…




Wash away the thoughts inside

Is all I wish to do, standing out here in the rain again.
My mind is still with you.
And I hate it.
Hate it, as fiercely as possible.
I wish that I could find something

That keeps my mind away from you

But there is no such hope for me.
Only days ago, have I left you.
And nothing changed.
Inside of me, I’m still your slave.
Because you took it all,

No more love and no more pride

is left in me.
While no one ever believed I could love,
not even you,
my pride has always been my last refuge.
Nobody could take that away, not father not your friends
but you did.

And thoughts are all I have to do

what else is there for me to do?
I tried, I tried so hard.
Seven years long, I only wanted you to see me,
one year long I abandoned every mask,
and surrendered my very being to you.
But you didn’t see.
I still

Remember when it rained

the first time we were together.
Your touch, so hard it pained me to bear it.
And I begged for it, wanted it for so long it didn’t matter.
It was your passion for me, and so I told myself it was enough.
And I remember that

I felt the ground and looked up high and called

over and over.
The cold stone floor didn’t matter,
as the world around me exploded into pleasure.
There was only one thing on my lips:

Your name

And it was still there when you stood,
pulled your clothes on and left without a backwards glance.
The beginning of a rite that killed me bit by bit.
I recall that I kept looking out of the window,

Remember when it rained

and rained while I just lay there,
naked, bruised, alone.
And somehow the rain must have gotten inside
because I felt it’s wetness on my cheeks.
That one time only, after all you get used to pain,
I learned it at my fathers hands and forgot it for you, only for you.
Stupid me! That is why

In the darkness I remain

My own mistake. I thought and believed it until I
remembered who I was.
That is when I left.
Left you, and my heart behind.
Because I hadn’t allowed myself to be broken by anyone,
and foolish as I was I thought I could still save myself
But

The tears of hope run down my skin

and testify against me.
Too late, much too late they say.
I am already broken.
And you never understood, never saw
can’t even enjoy your final triumph against me
because you don’t know that I love you,
you don\'t even believe me able to love.
And the


Tears for you that will not dry

are all the evidence of it.
Evidence that no one, least of all you,
will ever see.
I am humiliated enough by my own impudence.
How I could think that you would
feel for me, what I feel for you,..really
The bruises on my skin,

Magnify the one within

The one you left along with all the others.
Slowly the outside heals,
contrary to the inside.
As always you have left your mark.
On the world and on me during your last year here.
But while the first one led to a new beginning,
the one on my soul
is dark, and leading to an end.
I can not sleep, nor can I eat,
I died inside

And let the outside slowly die

along, as it should.
Nobody notices, not even you.
Although you look at me in the halls,
l ook at me as if you’ve never seen me before.
But what does it matter now?
When I still

Remember when it rained


And it will rain again.
There is no hope for me,
and will never be.
Like love, hope is not for me.
And I remind myself of how


I felt the ground and looked up high and called

a call that has never been answered.
I remind myself to feel the pain,
that always comes with things forever lost.
And lost I am too.
There is only one thing
emblazed in my mind,
lying on my silenced sharp tongue,
on my unwilling lips


Your name

On my soul it
has left it’s mark. A branding,
sickening the flesh,
scarring the heart beyound repair.
An never ending I

Remember when it rained

and will until death claims me.
Not long now I believe.
But what do I know?
I believed in only one thing,
one person, and was betrayed.
What does it matter now?

In the water I remain

and wait for the end.
Because nothing else has still a claim on me,
only you, always you.
But I will not allow you to take again
I swear,
what is left of my pride stops me.
This is why I’m standing in the rain.
And it feels like fire and ice,

Running down

my body, forever scalding me in desire and pain.
As you did.


Draco