Will You Be on the Other Side

Was this life even worth living anymore? Remus finished unpacking his trunks and surveyed his room. Bed, chair, fireplace, bookcase. Window that looked out onto nothingness, sparse grass, dead and twisted trees, mishappen so that they looked like hooked claws instead of once living things. Though right now it was too black outside to see much of anything but his reflection looking back in at him. Dead and barren, much like his heart was now. He poured himself a drink, sitting down in the hard chair and watching the clock absently as it ticked down the time until it was a New Year.

A New Year. Without Severus. He took a drink, swallowing with a grimace as he choked the strangely bitter liquid down. He was dead. Everyone he loved was dead. First he had lost Lily and James, then Sirius. And he had found Severus-or Severus had found him...or they had found each other. It didn\'t matter now, did it? And then the war had begun in earnest. Remus shook his head to dislodge his thoughts for a moment, and took another drink, feeling the small bits of crushed up pills that hadn\'t yet dissolved sliding down his throat with the amber colored liquid.

The thoughts crowded back into his head as he finished the drink, and this time he let them. So many had died, and yet he had not. The first he could remember losing were Arthur and Molly Weasley. That had stung, but they had all trudged on, even their children. Battles had been fought, and more people died. Then near the end Hermione had risked her life to save Harry. She succeded, but Ron had ended up in St. Mungoes, in the same ward as Neville\'s parents. Then all hell broke loose. The last battle. Neville died, but managed to take over five Death Eaters with him, including Bellatrix LeStrange...fitting justice, he always thought. Harry had battled with Voldemort while the other battles had raged around him. Severus had been behind Harry the whole time, fighting to keep everyone away so Harry could concentrate on defeating the evil before him. And Remus had been so proud of both of them. He had fought next to Severus, defending both his lover and the boy he had grown to love as a son. And in the end, Harry had destroyed Voldemort, both of them dying in a flash of blinding hot, white light that had sent Remus sprawling to the ground. When he recovered, he frantically looked for Severus, knowing Harry was already lost. He found his lover laying on the ground a few feet away and had crawled over to him and pulled him carefully into what had been a final embrace. Remus had held his lover while he spoke his last words, and they both whispered love and devotion for one another. And then he was gone.

His thoughts grew steadily foggier, until all he could hear was the anguished cry as Harry defeated Voldemort, and the screams he had issued when Severus breathed his last. With blurry eyes he watched the clock slowly tick down the minutes to the New Year. When the clock struck twelve, Remus whispered, his voice almost echoing in the stillness of the room. \"Happy New Year, Severus.\" And then his body slumped over in the chair, eyes glazed and empty. The glass fell from his limp hand and crashed to the ground, sending a spray of glass on the floor, the small, jagged pieces glittering in the firelight.

He had started the year out as he had watched the old one come in. With death.