Together Alone.
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,578
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
1,578
Reviews:
2
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Together Alone.
~ ~
Together alone
Shallow and deep
Holding our breath
Paying death no heed.
I’m still your friend
When you are in need…
~ ~
His hands were buried deep in his pockets. His head hanged low, his posture hunched over, and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. He could feel the wetness of each tear as the cold breeze blew. Overhead, there loomed grey clouds; they were low and ominous, and soon they would be crying, too. They would be shedding tears, just like he was. The sun was no where to be seen; it was blanketed behind the veil of nimbus’ that shrouded the vast sky.
The veil…
How long Remus had been here, it was uncertain. He, himself, was completely unaware of time anymore. Everything that once mattered no longer did. He, like the expanse of grey above him, was in his own labyrinth of despair, his own fortress of grief.
Before, when tears cascaded down his face, there were those hands that would reach for him and wipe them away. There was that voice that spoke soft words of love, of comfort. There were those arms that would embrace him and hold him tight. There were those lips which would kiss him softer than silk. Before, Remus would have succumbed to those lips, those hands, that gentle voice and soft words.
But that was before Sirius’ descent into the veil.
An audible gasp came from his lips. He could no longer keep his hands in his pockets. He needed to cover his face and weep. Sirius was no longer there to catch the tears; Remus had to catch the tears on his own, now. Shakily, he drew his hands out of the empty warmth of his pockets and moved them up to his tear-streaked visage. He spread his fingers and pressed his hands against his cheeks, covering his trickling eyes.
Under the pads of his fingertips and the rough texture of his palms, Remus could feel the contours of his scars. He remembered how Sirius would extend his finger and trace the length of them slowly; how it calmed Remus. It calmed him because he knew that this was Sirius’ way of telling him that he loved Remus, that he accepted him for what he was. Remus tenderly felt the undulating rivulets of his marks, biting his lower lip. Sometimes, in the dark, in the pitch black of night, Remus had felt Sirius’ touch upon these very scars, tracing them. If the curtains in the room that they once shared were drawn back, Remus would look up into the moonlight as Sirius touched him. For while the moon was his greatest fear – his enemy of whom he had learned to live with – Sirius’ touches were his aphrodisiac. They would help him through the month towards the impending full moon, and they would help heal him during the aftermath.
They were once together alone; but that was now a mere memory.
Now Remus was alone.
They were no longer together.
Sirius was no more.
The pain ripped through him, made him sob out loud, and, as the clouds began to splay droplets of rain towards the earth, Remus’ tears flooded out harder. Alone. He was alone. He was without Sirius for the rest of his life. His dying days would be as desolate and grey as the heavens that loomed above him.
His heart pounded angrily within his chest, and his head swam with questions that bore no answers. Remus’ lithe form began to fold under the force of his sobs, and his knees were slowly giving way. “Sirius…” he wept into his palms, the name that was so brief upon his lips being swept away with the increasing wind that whorled around his forlorn body. “Sirius…”
The rain began to fall harder, the sound of each drop hitting the ground ringing numbly in Remus’ ears. In the distance, thunder rolled like an ebbing tide, and the sky lit up with a stark flash of lightning. “Sirius…” he sobbed in a whisper, curling his fingers so that his nails scratched down his face, across his scars. Perhaps if he stayed out here, he would be carried away by a fierce flood and disappear, just like Sirius had. Perhaps, if he disappeared, he would be reunited with him.
But he knew that wouldn’t happen.
He knew that Sirius would want him to keep living. And, in his honour, he would.
But the pain… The pain of living, when the only thing that he had ever loved was now gone, was excruciating. Not even the transformation at the full moon came close to this pain. For, while that was a physical pain that would heal, this was internal. This pain was deep within the core of his being, congealed within his mind and heart, and there would never be anything that would heal this agony. “Sirius…” he wept again as another clap of thunder rolled across the sky and a fork of lightning lit the gloomy horizon.
The rain was now hard and fierce, coming down in a vertical sheet. The timbre of the downpour upon the ground was deafening, and Remus squeezed his eyes shut, wanting the din to block out the resonating sound of sorrow that rang in his ears. His hair was drenched, as were his clothes; his sobs became louder; his body more and more overcome with throbbing grief. He wanted to dissolve into the quickly flooding street of Grimmauld Place and be swept away.
“Remus,” a soft voice said, barely audible over the cacophony of the deluge. A hand lay on his left shoulder, the fingers digging into the wet material of the shirt. “Remus,” the voice said again, more insistent. Slowly pulling his hands from his face, lowering his arms, Remus met the worried green eyes of Harry, and a fresh wave of tears overcame him. The teen was saturated, his hair matted flat against his forehead and his glasses steaming up in the cold of the rain. “Sirius…” Remus wept again, and he stepped towards Harry and threw his arms around him; he buried his face into the crook of Harry’s shoulder and began to sob. Tentatively, Harry had slid his arms around the other’s waist and pulled him into an uncertain embrace.
The silence between them, save for Remus’ anguished sobs, was more deafening than the tumultuous downpour and the squalling tempest around them. Remus clung to Harry, his body gyrating viciously as he felt himself lose control more and more to the suffering affliction of tears. And, soon, he could feel Harry’s body responding; he could hear Harry sobbing with him.
How long they stood like this, Remus did not know. It seemed to be an eternity. But eventually Harry pulled away, removing his arms from around Remus. “Come on, Remus,” he heard Harry say soothingly. An arm was tenderly put around his waist as the teen stood next to him, gently nudging Remus forward. “Come on,” he heard Harry coax. Slowly, Remus allowed himself to be led, feeling numb as his tears slowed, feeling terribly drained and in sudden need to sleep. “Come on, Remus. Come inside into the warmth,” Harry said again, leading the aggrieved man from the torrential storm outside into the dark, drab indoors of number twelve Grimmauld Place.
~ ~
Together alone,
Above and beneath,
We were as close
As anyone can be.
Now you are gone
Far away from me.
As is once,
Will always be,
Together alone.
~ ~
(A/N: A sequel was written to this. \"Four Seasons In One Day\" was written by charlottesometimes.)
*Song lyrics - Together Alone by Crowded House.
Together alone
Shallow and deep
Holding our breath
Paying death no heed.
I’m still your friend
When you are in need…
~ ~
His hands were buried deep in his pockets. His head hanged low, his posture hunched over, and there were tears rolling down his cheeks. He could feel the wetness of each tear as the cold breeze blew. Overhead, there loomed grey clouds; they were low and ominous, and soon they would be crying, too. They would be shedding tears, just like he was. The sun was no where to be seen; it was blanketed behind the veil of nimbus’ that shrouded the vast sky.
The veil…
How long Remus had been here, it was uncertain. He, himself, was completely unaware of time anymore. Everything that once mattered no longer did. He, like the expanse of grey above him, was in his own labyrinth of despair, his own fortress of grief.
Before, when tears cascaded down his face, there were those hands that would reach for him and wipe them away. There was that voice that spoke soft words of love, of comfort. There were those arms that would embrace him and hold him tight. There were those lips which would kiss him softer than silk. Before, Remus would have succumbed to those lips, those hands, that gentle voice and soft words.
But that was before Sirius’ descent into the veil.
An audible gasp came from his lips. He could no longer keep his hands in his pockets. He needed to cover his face and weep. Sirius was no longer there to catch the tears; Remus had to catch the tears on his own, now. Shakily, he drew his hands out of the empty warmth of his pockets and moved them up to his tear-streaked visage. He spread his fingers and pressed his hands against his cheeks, covering his trickling eyes.
Under the pads of his fingertips and the rough texture of his palms, Remus could feel the contours of his scars. He remembered how Sirius would extend his finger and trace the length of them slowly; how it calmed Remus. It calmed him because he knew that this was Sirius’ way of telling him that he loved Remus, that he accepted him for what he was. Remus tenderly felt the undulating rivulets of his marks, biting his lower lip. Sometimes, in the dark, in the pitch black of night, Remus had felt Sirius’ touch upon these very scars, tracing them. If the curtains in the room that they once shared were drawn back, Remus would look up into the moonlight as Sirius touched him. For while the moon was his greatest fear – his enemy of whom he had learned to live with – Sirius’ touches were his aphrodisiac. They would help him through the month towards the impending full moon, and they would help heal him during the aftermath.
They were once together alone; but that was now a mere memory.
Now Remus was alone.
They were no longer together.
Sirius was no more.
The pain ripped through him, made him sob out loud, and, as the clouds began to splay droplets of rain towards the earth, Remus’ tears flooded out harder. Alone. He was alone. He was without Sirius for the rest of his life. His dying days would be as desolate and grey as the heavens that loomed above him.
His heart pounded angrily within his chest, and his head swam with questions that bore no answers. Remus’ lithe form began to fold under the force of his sobs, and his knees were slowly giving way. “Sirius…” he wept into his palms, the name that was so brief upon his lips being swept away with the increasing wind that whorled around his forlorn body. “Sirius…”
The rain began to fall harder, the sound of each drop hitting the ground ringing numbly in Remus’ ears. In the distance, thunder rolled like an ebbing tide, and the sky lit up with a stark flash of lightning. “Sirius…” he sobbed in a whisper, curling his fingers so that his nails scratched down his face, across his scars. Perhaps if he stayed out here, he would be carried away by a fierce flood and disappear, just like Sirius had. Perhaps, if he disappeared, he would be reunited with him.
But he knew that wouldn’t happen.
He knew that Sirius would want him to keep living. And, in his honour, he would.
But the pain… The pain of living, when the only thing that he had ever loved was now gone, was excruciating. Not even the transformation at the full moon came close to this pain. For, while that was a physical pain that would heal, this was internal. This pain was deep within the core of his being, congealed within his mind and heart, and there would never be anything that would heal this agony. “Sirius…” he wept again as another clap of thunder rolled across the sky and a fork of lightning lit the gloomy horizon.
The rain was now hard and fierce, coming down in a vertical sheet. The timbre of the downpour upon the ground was deafening, and Remus squeezed his eyes shut, wanting the din to block out the resonating sound of sorrow that rang in his ears. His hair was drenched, as were his clothes; his sobs became louder; his body more and more overcome with throbbing grief. He wanted to dissolve into the quickly flooding street of Grimmauld Place and be swept away.
“Remus,” a soft voice said, barely audible over the cacophony of the deluge. A hand lay on his left shoulder, the fingers digging into the wet material of the shirt. “Remus,” the voice said again, more insistent. Slowly pulling his hands from his face, lowering his arms, Remus met the worried green eyes of Harry, and a fresh wave of tears overcame him. The teen was saturated, his hair matted flat against his forehead and his glasses steaming up in the cold of the rain. “Sirius…” Remus wept again, and he stepped towards Harry and threw his arms around him; he buried his face into the crook of Harry’s shoulder and began to sob. Tentatively, Harry had slid his arms around the other’s waist and pulled him into an uncertain embrace.
The silence between them, save for Remus’ anguished sobs, was more deafening than the tumultuous downpour and the squalling tempest around them. Remus clung to Harry, his body gyrating viciously as he felt himself lose control more and more to the suffering affliction of tears. And, soon, he could feel Harry’s body responding; he could hear Harry sobbing with him.
How long they stood like this, Remus did not know. It seemed to be an eternity. But eventually Harry pulled away, removing his arms from around Remus. “Come on, Remus,” he heard Harry say soothingly. An arm was tenderly put around his waist as the teen stood next to him, gently nudging Remus forward. “Come on,” he heard Harry coax. Slowly, Remus allowed himself to be led, feeling numb as his tears slowed, feeling terribly drained and in sudden need to sleep. “Come on, Remus. Come inside into the warmth,” Harry said again, leading the aggrieved man from the torrential storm outside into the dark, drab indoors of number twelve Grimmauld Place.
~ ~
Together alone,
Above and beneath,
We were as close
As anyone can be.
Now you are gone
Far away from me.
As is once,
Will always be,
Together alone.
~ ~
(A/N: A sequel was written to this. \"Four Seasons In One Day\" was written by charlottesometimes.)
*Song lyrics - Together Alone by Crowded House.