Yesterday

Title: Yesterday
Author: Adamanthea (Kayla)
Summary: The final battle is over, but the world has not stopped turning yet.
Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter.
Warnings: H/C, incest, m/m sex, angst, and character death. Yeah, I’m evil and demented and so what?
Pairing: FW/GW

You’re lying in a flat, white-sheeted bed. It’s not really unlike the thirty or so others that lay in a perfect row. There are thirty more on the other side, and so many other victims just lay helplessly on the floor.

I’m hurt too… My legs are barely supporting my weight beneath me, and there is a dizziness in my chest. I think I’m really hurt, but I know that you, my brother, are worse off. As much as I’d like to just sit and hope for the best, I can’t help go back to the night before – when the both of us found living another day to be an impossibility.

They do not tell me much. Not even if you will live or die. Your face is a million times paler than usual.

That much hurts, and hurts a lot. Yet what can they really do… with almost a hundred weary patients? We are really only two of many… even if in our own little world we are all there is. “You just hold on…” I can’t help the comforting words filled with lies, even as I hate them! “You’re going to make it out. If I’m standing here, we know you have to be.”

It was true. Neither of us believed that we would wake up today, in the light of the end. It was bitter, to be here, a survivor in a war with no winner. Yesterday, hell… was it really just yesterday? I still remember the days when a day was just nothing – it was meaningless to us.

You came to me yesterday, your tears matching mine. Like always, we shared each other’s pain, and this pain was immense, when we learned that our brother Ron, like so many others – was dead. And Ginny, Charlie and Percy were still missing, this all the while, taking place during the middle of the day that was predicted to be when it all went down.

You let me hold you in my arms, even though I couldn’t console myself. I was crying a bit, but my stubbornness wouldn’t let me do much more. You though, you were always better with your feelings, as your hands covered your eyes, and you sobbed loudly.

“Why…” you asked helplessly, looking at me as if I knew. “Why… how could we be torn apart?”

“I don’t know,” I told you. “Our family never lost any of it’s strength. We held tight together… for the most part… but we just lost.”

“We’ll never fall apart?” You asked me this softly, and I knew you were talking about you and me. I felt so choked up, I could not breathe. I inhaled deeply, taking in my favorite scent – your skin, mixed with tears that could only be yours.

“Of course we won’t.” I shook my head, and I must have seemed so confident to you. I was so self-assured and strong, right? Wrong, I was dying just watching you suffer, and I had to do anything to make it stop.

“Really?”

“Of course,” I said confidently. “Come on George! Everything can be taken in a moment, but if someone were to take you from me – I’d go to. We’re a two for one package… you can’t have just one.”

I remember you smiling at me, as if I were telling your favorite joke. “I feel the same way,” you said quietly, as if your mind were really thinking about it. “I’d die if I lost you.”

“It’s almost like…” My favorite thought was about to come out again, and you gave me a warning look. You always gave me those looks, when I threatened to act like I loved you. You would laugh it off; make it seem like a joke. But I did love you and I always would, even if our parents just told us that it was natural for us as twins to have “heightened sensitivity to one another.”

Well, my heightened sensitivity was making me crazy, on the night when it was all going to come down. “It’s almost like you’re as in love with me, as I am with you.”

“I’ve told you so many times…” Those were the small spoken words, your last pathetic attempt to resist what you were feeling. It was so strong, a flash of light passing through us each time we touched each other. “That it would be entirely wrong…”

“But if we’re going down together tonight,” I suggested, shrugging as innocently as I could manage, given the situation. “Well, then, why not do something entirely wrong? It’s our only chance… and I … I-I love you.”

“I love you too.” You seemed so meek, like you were ready to give into anything. You gripped at my shirt, and then we kissed. Well, you kissed me. The feeling of lips on mine was the most possessive thing I’d ever known. You pressed hard, our bodies so close together as your hand slipped around the back of my neck. Your proud sensibility was gone as you tugged at my shirt, trying to rip it off of me. “Please…” you begged slowly, please.

So I helped you with what you were trying, and shrugged my way out of the shirt. I kissed your lips as you tried to rush and tear the clothing off my body. “No,” I said, trying hard to keep you from moving as I kissed you. You were so anxious, so terribly desperate. I knew we were as good as dead too – but I couldn’t let this thing that I’ve wanted for so long… I couldn’t let it be like this. “No… shh… just let me love you.”

I kissed you so intensely. You were dressed lightly, and it was easy to take every inch of clothing off of you, and toss it across the tiny room in our apartment. I just wanted to make love to you.

I placed my hand into the back of your underwear, and pushed you closer to me. I remember the look in your eyes. You were frightened. I kissed your neck, your bared chest. I moved your hand with my free one, so you could have back some control. Being vulnerable was scary… and I knew it…

I saw how evidently aroused you were by the situation, but I didn’t need to see your body to know it. Your eyes showed me each bit of thought in your mind.

You were so horribly frightened, that rather than do something unholy, I would so much rather have you wrapped in my arms. But right now, you needed something that my arms couldn’t satisfy. You were broken.

I let you have control over me; let you decide what I would do to you. I let you move slowly, as you needed it to be your decision. Your strong-minded choice was all I needed to remove the rest of the clothing from your body, and press your nakedness closer to mine.

“I love you,” I had said, kissing you like I would lose you too quickly. Neither of us had too much desire to spend too much time focusing on each other’s bodies, and would rather look into each other’s eyes. I know you felt that, I did too.

I lay calmly, pressing my hips into yours, letting you become accustomed, feeling the passion that sparked between us. Any other time I would have had this act between us take hours, myself spending minutes just worshipping each part of your body. Yet we both knew that we had to seal our bond, and that was it.

My wand was still in the discarded robes. I reached for it, barely clasping my hand around it, as you remained close to me, touching me. I conjured the lubricant, and could feel the cool tube in my hand. I had done this act with so many boys in our short years, desperate to get the relief from my passion for you.

My hands remained on your backside, supporting you, while you wiggled impatiently. “Hush angel, it’ll be all right.”

I was too quick, moving in and using my lubricated fingers to stretch you. In my haze of passion I barely stopped to realize that you were a virgin to this, to making love to another male.

“Have you…” I breathed.

“With a girl once,” you whispered, your teeth almost biting down on my neck at the pain. I was still situated inside your body, moving just a little with the fingers. “It was quick you know… and I’ve never…”

Your train of continuous talk was abruptly stopped, when I seemed to get you at just the right angle. Your body jerked instinctively, and I knew that you were a natural to the feelings. I removed myself from your body, and whispered in your ear.

“Are you okay?” I asked, whispering in your ear. You just pressed your hips closer to me, your eyes wet with strained tears.

“Just do it,” you whispered, kissing me. For someone who had agonized over our painful relationship, you seemed to want this as badly as I did.

Keeping our eyes locked, I grabbed hold of you, stroking up and down the base of your cock, unable to believe that I was finally able to intimately touch my brother, my brother who I loved more than life itself.

I was distracting you. You pressed into my hand, and I felt the pulsing beneath your skin. I allowed my fingers to take life of their own, and work nimbly along you. You felt so hot.

While you were moving, I used my free hand to help myself press into you. Your legs, if I remember right, were raised, placed on my shoulders almost. I laughed, realizing how flexible you were.

Letting go of your long body, I let go of all thought at let the impulses rule. And boy, did they rule as I pound into you, praying that I would think clearly enough not to hurt the one I loved.

Your eyes stared at me more insistently, your front tooth pressed deep into your bottom lip, almost causing a hole. Tears formed in your lovely eyes, and I prayed to all the gods that I didn’t hurt you. “Are you…” I said, thrusting into you impulsively, and then cringing at my actions.

You shifted uneasily and met my lips with a kiss. Okay, I thought, so you were ready for me.

You seemed to move uneasily. I kept my hands positioned on your hips, holding you steady, and a weird feeling washed over me. I looked into your eyes, and I saw my own. I looked at your body, and I saw a mirror image. I closed my eyes, knowing that I was making love to my other half.

You looked uncomfortable, so I touched your face with my mouth, shoving down all fear. I licked along the lines of your face, your face in which I saw myself, yet held down the sickness it caused in me.

I halted my efforts. You looked, wondering why I wasn’t filled with the lust I had been moments before. I rested, fully embedded inside of you, and touched you. I let my arms travel around you, letting myself feel the separate person you are. Not my double – no you were my lover. I couldn’t let this end without acknowledging that fact.

Yet then your lust seemed to overpower us both, as you didn’t have the deep thoughts that I did. You pushed me closer to you, further inside of you, and whispered that you were “going to explode if I didn’t quick…”

I pounded deep inside, watching as your back arched and you pushed against me, trying to take the most out of every movement I made. Your eyes showed the exhuberant pleasure that I’d always wanted to give you. I guided a shaky hand between us, to pull at your length playfully. I wanted to see your face when you finally came. I wanted to see you give into your desires for me, to eternally satisfy my wicked cravings.

And I saw it. The look I had been craving forever. Your eyes sparked, and a low moan escaped your quiet lips. Your eyes then closed, and that was enough to do me in, as I released into your body.

I had never felt anything like that orgasm. It was not just a bodily reaction, not a chance. It was the greatest physical and emotional sensation. I remember having to tell myself to breathe when my eyes opened. My legs were sore, my stomach hurt, and it was the most blissful event ever. “If the world ends now, I’m okay…” I groaned softly.

“Me too,” you said, and let me hold you for a few hours.

The final battle commenced as planned. Or well… not as planned, as it was complete hysteria, and pain. And here we are in this hospital.

“Gods, you’ve got to remember yesterday,” I can’t help but scream at your lovely, pale, unmoving form. “Yesterday, the day when we promised never to fall apart. Yesterday when I held you in my arms and tried my best to heal your broken heart. Yesterday when we make love!”

You look paler than before, and I worry how long you can survive.

“Please just remember it,” I beg, tears grazing my eyes now, as I hold your hand. Your oddly cool hand. You open your eyes suddenly and I feel like praising every god under the sun.

“Oh my gods, George… you’re alive, you made it,” I say. “It’ll all be okay from here on out, I promise.”

“Not in this world,” you say, a silence, deathly calm reply. “I’m so sorry Fred… I just can’t survive. This hurts too – too much.”

“No,” I say seriously. “Don’t let go of me, okay? You’ll be all right, I promise you that.”

You shake your head, a soft reply to my desperate answer. “I don’t want to die,” you say in a tiny, scared voice. “But I got hit with something out there on the battlefield, and I don’t think I’m going to survive this.”

“Please,” I beg, unable to understand why you can see your own imminent death. I don’t get how you could know, when nobody knows what hurt you. “Please… no you can’t go.”

“We said last night,” you mutter, a tiny contented smile on your face. “That if we left this world today, we’d be satisfied. I am satisfied, delighted in fact.”

“I’m not letting you die,” I scream, desperately. “No! You’ll make it out of this okay. You’re not even hurt bad, nothing is wrong with you!”

“I want to keep you with me forever…” your voice is soft, like a whisper, but one coming from a serene angel. “I want you forever… just like last night… just like yesterday… cause yesterday was love.”

Your lovely green eyes slip closed, and my heard melts in front of you. You breathe loudly, but it is your last. Before I can drop to my knees and hit the floor, I search desperately for a way to join you. Several vials of potion are on the counter next to you- sleeping potions I think. I take three bottles in hand, and one by one I consume them, lying by your bed. Then, resting my head on your limp form, I find myself slowly drifting off to sleep.

I’m going to have an amazing afterlife, I can’t help but think, as I fall into the eternal sleep I’m heading towards. I’m going to relieve yesterday… forever and ever… because like you said George, yesterday was love.