Calling Dr. Jones

Title: Calling Dr. Jones
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ron/Harry
Summary: Ron visits the doctor in an attempt to calm his temper and ends up with some wacky side effects.
Warnings: Semi-het?
Disclaimer: The characters aren\'t mine, they belong to the lovely JK Rowling.
Author\'s Notes: Written for the lovely shocolate as penance for her not taking Ron away from me after writing Powdered Freckles. Also written for the \"I enjoy being a girl\" Challenge. Thanks to ficbymarks for the stellar beta job.

\"How was the doctor\'s?\" Harry asked, peeking over the top of the Daily Prophet. He turned the page, having just finished another article by that horrid Skeeter, who had managed to worm her way back into writing. Of course, the article was all just a load of codswollop about the latest romantic escapades of those in their year from Hogwarts. They had graduated just three years previously and, as far as most of the Wizarding World was concerned, Harry Potter had not yet settled down. So of course any news - accurate or not - about whom was dating whom in their year was quite important news.

\"They asked me to test out this new medication. It\'s supposed to help keep me level-headed or some tripe like that,\" Ron replied. He walked over to Harry, and leant down to kiss him on his way to the coat rack. It had been raining all day, and Ron\'s cloak was soaked from his walk; as he couldn\'t Apparate from St. Mungo\'s and their Floo Network was clogged with a long line of witches and wizards waiting to leave, he had been forced to walk the block and a half to a safe Apparition point.

\"Really now? And how is it supposed to do that?\" Harry set aside the newspaper, shifting to make room for Ron on the sofa.

Ron shrugged as he hung his cloak. \"Not sure exactly, but it\'s definitely got some wicked side effects.\"

Harry raised his eyebrow, urging Ron to continue. \"Such as?\"

\"Such as, ever since I was given it, I\'ve had this uncontrollable urge to shag you senseless,\" Ron smirked. He sat down next to Harry, pressing kisses to his jaw and neck.

\"But you\'ve always got that urge,\" Harry teased, tilting his head to give Ron better access as he pulled him closer.

\"Perhaps, but it\'s even worse today.\" Ron traced his tongue along the shell of Harry\'s ear, nibbling on the lobe as he finished. His hand ran up Harry\'s chest and he pinched one of his nipples through the thin fabric. \"I can\'t stop thinking about how much I want you. How much I want you in me; how much I want to be in you.\"

\"Which do you want more?\" Harry groaned, arching up into Ron\'s hand, which had made its way down to cup his erection through his trousers. When Ron did not answer him, as it appeared he was too busy attempting to suck all of Harry\'s blood to the surface of his neck, Harry grabbed his wand, pointed it at Ron\'s still clothed entrance, and muttered a lubrication charm.

Ron shivered, a tingle rippling its way through his body. \"Mmmm, Harry, what was that?\"

\"What was what?\" Harry asked, wondering why Ron would not recognise a charm they had used only a thousand times previously.

\"That charm. It felt different. It made me feel tingly all over.\" Just then, the same tingling sensation ripped through him again, only this time it was highly concentrated in some areas. Ron let out a long groan as he pulled away from Harry, the realization of the Doctor\'s warning hitting home.

\"What?\" Harry asked, concerned, especially as Ron\'s appearance started changing before his eyes.

\"The doctor said not to use any charms on or near my sensitive bits. Said that the medication was still experimental and that it might have weird side effects if…\" Ron trailed off as Harry\'s mouth opened - his jaw flapping and eyes wide.

\"Your voice… your you… your all of you…\"

\"What are you talking about?\"

\"It\'s changed.\"

\"No it hasn\'t.\" Ron gave Harry a curious look.

\"Mirror, now. Go look.\" Harry said, pointing at Ron and towards the bathroom.

Ron rolled his eyes and stood up. A few moments later, a shrill screech emanated from the bathroom. Harry got up and cautiously made his way to the door, which slammed shut right in his face and wailing sobs leaked out into the hallway.

\"Ron?\" Harry rapped lightly on the door. \"Come out, love. It\'s fine. We\'ll have you fixed up in no time.\"

\"FIXED?\" Ron shouted. \"FIXED! I don\'t need to be fixed, Harry.\" The sobs grew louder and Harry knocked again.

\"Ron, of course you don\'t need to be fixed. You\'re beautiful the way you are. Just come out,\" Harry said soothingly, hoping to coax Ron out of the bathroom.

\"So you prefer me this way?\"

\"No, no. I don\'t, but-\"

\"You think I\'m ugly like this. That\'s why you want to get me fixed.\"

Harry let out a heavy sigh, \"Ron, I love you. No matter what you look like. Now just come out.\"

Ron sniffled and blew his nose on some toilet tissue. After a moment, he opened the door a crack and peeked out at Harry, one blue eye and a smattering of freckles visible.

\"If you want we can go to the doctor\'s to get this all sorted,\" Harry said softly. \"We can find out what caused the change and figure out how to get you back to normal.\"

Ron started to close the door again and Harry pushed past, wrapping his hands around Ron\'s waist and pulling him close. \"Listen to me. We go to the doctor\'s and they\'ll explain to us what happened and will tell us how to change you back. Unless, of course, you want to stay like this.\"

\"No,\" Ron said, resting his cheek against Harry\'s hair. \"I don\'t want to stay like this.\"

\"Ok, then we\'ll go?\" Harry asked; his hand rubbing soothing circles along Ron\'s back.

\"You don\'t hate me like this though?\"

\"Ron, I could never hate you. Now stop being such a girl and let\'s go.\"

Ron pulled away and looked in the mirror, taking in his appearance. \"But I am a girl. Look, my hair is longer and I have breasts, and\" he grabbed Harry\'s hand and pressed it to his crotch, \"my penis is gone. You hear that? You feel that? My penis is gone. I\'m a bloody female.\"

Harry couldn\'t help but chuckle, \"I know, Ron. And the sooner we leave and get to the doctor\'s, the sooner we can get this reversed and get your penis back.\"

Ron nodded and dropped Harry\'s hand, letting him lead the way out of the bathroom. Within moments they had flooed to St. Mungo\'s and were arguing with the nurses about which ward Ron needed to go. The nurses were insisting on Accidental Magic Reversal and Harry was insisting on returning to the same doctor Ron had just been to.

After a half hour of arguing, and Ron threatening to burst into tears on multiple occasions if something didn\'t happen soon, the nurses acquiesced and sent Harry and Ron up to Dr. Jones\' office.

\"See, it\'s all going to be fine. We\'ll see Dr. Jones and he\'ll-\"

\"She. Dr. Jones is a she.\"

\"As I was saying, we\'ll see Dr. Jones and she\'ll explain to us what happened and will tell us how to get you back to yourself.\" Harry smiled reassuringly as they approached Dr. Jones\' office.

\"Ah, Mr. Potter, and Mr. Weasley,\" Dr. Jones greeted, motioning them into the room. \"Why don\'t the two of you take a seat and tell me what happened.\"

Harry explained to the doctor what all had transpired since Ron had returned to their flat in excruciating detail. Ron was bright red with embarrassment and kept trying to interrupt to correct Harry or to add in a comment of his own, only to have Dr. Jones shush him like a small child.

\"Ron, you\'re not going to be happy about what I have to say,\" Dr. Jones started. \"First off, I regret to inform you that as of right now, your condition is irreversible, at least by magical means. You see, the lubrication charm that is most typically used, essentially means \'like a vagina\'; which normally does nothing but lubricate the anal passage naturally like the female genitalia. However, with the hormonal supplements we gave you - which are still very much experimental - well, I warned you not to use any charms around your groin region for this specific reason. The charm you used caused the estrogen in your body to change to testosterone and vise versa, thus changing you into a woman.\"

She took a breath before continuing; wanting to make certain she properly explained the next part. \"What you need to do is raise your testosterone levels again. Once they reach a certain point, it will cause a tip in the hormonal balance and your body will start returning to normal. Normally when this sort of thing happens we are able to inject a bit of hormone to speed it along. However, as it is, if we did that, it could cause any number of problems for you. You will have to do this the natural way.\"

\"Which is?\" Ron and Harry asked together, both curious as to where she was going with this.

\"When you have sex, the body releases testosterone into your system. If the two of you maintain a healthy sexual lifestyle, Ron should be back to normal within a week or two.\"

\"A week?\" Harry asked.

\"Or two? I can\'t be a bloody female for two weeks! What about my job?\" Ron asked.

\"Now is not the time to panic, Msr. Weasley. It will not solve a thing. Now I suggest you and Msr. Potter return home and get started on your - for lack of a better word - therapy. It is your best chance of returning to normal. If you really are not comfortable with this solution, you can always wait the month for the injected hormones to dissipate and we will be able to fix this magically. The choice is yours. Good day.\" Dr. Jones stood and left the room, leaving Harry and Ron to look worriedly at each other.

\"We\'ll have to go to a Muggle pharmacist,\" Harry said, attempting to smile.

\"Why?\"

\"Condoms.\"

\"Condoms?\"

\"Well, yeah. You\'re a female now and, well… you might get pregnant if we don\'t use them.\"

\"Where\'s the nearest pharmacist?\"

*****

\"Oh, fuck, Harry,\" Ron moaned.

\"Yes?\" Harry asked, lifting his head from Ron\'s crotch.

\"It\'s been two weeks already and I haven\'t changed back yet. We\'ve gone through pack after pack of condoms, and still, I\'m a bloody female.\"

\"Maybe we\'ve not been having sex enough?\" Harry suggested.

\"We\'ve been having it quite a lot!\"

\"Well… maybe we need to more often. I mean, maybe the once or twice a day hasn\'t been enough.\"

\"Can you handle more?\"

\"Of course I can, love. Now can we get back to this? Or are we just going to talk about having more sex?\" Harry teased, dipping his fingers inside Ron, his thumb stroking his clit.

\"Harry, have you got any plans for today?\" Ron asked, biting back a moan as he thrust against Harry\'s fingers.

\"Not really, I did promise Hermione we\'d catch dinner with her this evening, though.\" He paused, his fingers still working their magic. \"Why?\"

\"I was thinking maybe we should make this an all day thing, see if we can\'t get the change to happen today,\" Ron said, biting his lip.

\"We could do that; we\'ll need more condoms though. And, you know… maybe some sort of aphrodisiac. Make sure we can keep going and all of that.\" Harry looked around the room for his clothes, upon spotting them kissed Ron, and hopped out of bed to get dressed. \"Just stay there, I\'ll be back in a jiff.\"

\"Right,\" Ron replied as Harry Apparated.

A half hour had passed and Ron wondered what was taking Harry so long to return. Surely, purchasing condoms and well, whatever it was that Harry was also getting - something to increase stamina or something of the sort - couldn\'t take that long to buy. Growing bored, he realized that in the two weeks he\'d been a female, he hadn\'t yet explored his new body on his own. Sure, Harry had explored it quite reverently over and over again, but Ron hadn\'t even bothered to spend a few extra minutes while in the shower, as it hadn\'t really interested him. Now, with nothing to do, and Harry\'s return in the unforeseen future, he decided to give it a go.

Ron ran his fingers slowly down his body, taking in the soft, gentle curve of his female form, the slow strokes making his skin tingle - not in any magical sort of way, but a nice way, all the same. Closing his eyes, he traced back up, letting his fingers swirl around his navel and up around his nipples. He enjoyed the tug of skin as his nipples hardened, the skin becoming taut and sensitized. The lightest pinch was enough to elicit a quiet moan from his lips. It amazed him how much more responsive his body was to these light caresses. He was almost certain that if he tried this as a male it would feel just as nice - it was just simply something that hadn\'t interested him much.

Lost in his explorations, Ron didn\'t hear the pop of Harry Apparating back into the room. He didn\'t hear the bags drop or the moan that didn\'t come from him, as he was entirely too focused on the wonderful feeling of his fingers against his clit - gently rubbing, twisting and pinching the small bundle of nerves. He was too focused on the feeling of his own fingers pumping in and out of his vagina, muscles clamping around his fingers, body arching upwards, head thrown back, biting his lip and letting out a long moan as an orgasm ripped through his body.

Ron didn\'t stop his ministrations, continuing to tease himself to the point of another orgasm. He didn\'t stop even when Harry\'s fingers joined his own. He didn\'t stop until he had brought himself off twice more, left breathless, his chest rapidly rising and falling with each attempt at controlling his breathing. His eyes flickered open, and he smiled hazily over at Harry, who had sprawled out on the bed next to him, his fingers stroking through Ron\'s hair.

\"When - how long ago did you get back?\" Ron asked in a near whisper.

\"Does it matter?\" Ron shook his head no and Harry smiled. \"That was beautiful, love. Wish you had done that sooner.\"

\"Hmmm?\" Ron closed his eyes again, tired and sated from his activities.

\"Well, I think it worked somewhat. If we keep it up for a few more hours you\'ll be back to normal.\" Harry chuckled at the confused look Ron gave him. \"Your hair shrunk about an inch and your breasts seem smaller and well, oddly enough your clit looks larger. I think you\'re starting to return to your male form.\"

\"But I\'m tired.\"

\"You don\'t have to do anything, Ron. Just uh… lie back and think of having your cock again.\"

Ron chuckled at that. \"I thought that was supposed to be lie back and think of England?\"

\"Well I guess you can think about the countryside or the crowded cities if you want, but that\'s not exactly the sort of thing I\'d want to think about while having sex.\"

\"Ha ha, funny,\" Ron laughed, lightly smacking Harry\'s arm. Harry jumped up and grabbed the bags, spilling them out on the bed next to Ron as he sat down and rummaged through his purchases. \"What you get?\"

\"Lots of things - condoms, chocolate, water, juice, crisps, flavoured lube, regular lube, stuff to make your sensitive bits more sensitive, all sorts of things. I don\'t even know what some of it is.\"

*****

Breathing heavily, Harry collapsed next to Ron, a large grin covering his face. \"It worked.\"

\"It did,\" Ron said; his cock rubbing against Harry\'s as he rolled to his side to face him.

\"And it only took us,\" Harry looked over Ron\'s shoulder at their alarm clock, \"five hours and twenty-eight and a half minutes.\"

\"And one pack of crisps, a litre of juice, a half litre of water and two chocolate bars,\" Ron added.

\"Well, if you\'re going to add all that in - three packs of condoms, two of those pill things and half a tube of lubricant.\"

\"Harry, do you think you should have taken two of those? I mean it\'s been how long and you still have an erection.\"

\"Five hours twenty-nine and three-quarters minutes.\"

Ron snorted and rolled his eyes. \"You just better hope it\'s gone when we head out for dinner with Hermione, because I\'m too exhausted to help you out with it now.\"

\"How long until that anyways?\" Harry asked, cuddling closer to Ron.

\"Uh,\" Ron started only to hear a loud knock on the door. \"Now?\"

\"Bugger!\"

\"No thanks,\" Ron said, chuckling nervously. \"We\'ll save that for later.\"

\"Maybe if we pretend to be asleep she\'ll leave.\"

\"Doubtful.\"