Far Away in the Darkness

DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Far Away in the Darkness

Sirius opened the door to the little flat he and Harry had bought, stepping into the dark hallway. He smiled fondly, seeing the picture of he and Harry hanging against the wall. Shutting the door behind him, he took off his jacket and hung it up.

It was late in the morning, about one a.m. already. Sirius had stayed up working overtime in his office. He assumed Harry was already asleep.

He was walking past the room they shared when he heard moaning from inside. Wait a second... moaning? Carefully and quietly, he reached out and turned the doorknob. Opening the door crack, he peered inside.

He gasped inaudibly at what he saw. Harry. Harry was lying in bed, naked, with another man. And they were touching each other. His Harry.

He watched, almost in a daze as the other man began stroking Harry\'s cock. Harry moaned loudly in pleasure as the other inserted a finger inside the younger man.

Sirius trembled visibly as he saw the man begin preparing Harry. He desperately wanted to jump up throw the man away from his lover, but Harry... He couldn\'t do this. Tears in his eyes, he shut the door carefully behind him and spent the night on the couch.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Harry sighed, snuggling closer to the man lying beside him. His thoughts wandered and settled on Sirius.

Sirius had once been his godfather, but now, he was much much more. He was his lover, his life. But...He didn\'t know why he was doing this. Didn\'t know why he was cheating on the man he loved. Lately, however, he had begun thinking about something else. He couldn\'t help but feel that Sirius was too good for him. His godfather deserved better. And that was why he was doing this.

Oh yes, he did love Sirius. He loved Sirius more than life itself. But he also loved him enough to let him go.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Harry walked into the living room the next morning, he saw Sirius lying on the couch. His robes were wrinkled and his eyes were red-rimmed.

\"Siri?\" He asked softly, sitting down next to the man. \"What\'s wrong?\"

Sirius didn\'t answer. Instead, he turned and pushed him away. The glare his lover shot him froze his heart.

\"Siri? Please tell me what\'s wrong.\" Oh god, he couldn\'t know, could he? But then, why else would he behave this way. \"Please, Sirius.\"

The man finally stood up, looking at him. The look in saw in the man\'s eyes broke his heart: it was a mixture of rage, hurt, pain, and betrayal. There was no doubt about it. He knew.

\"Tell me, Harry,\" Sirius said finally, his voice barely a whisper. \"Why did you do it? Why?\"

Harry couldn\'t think of a suitable answer. \"You couldn\'t satisfy all of my... needs.\"

\"I--\" Tears began welling up in those blue eyes. \"Why, Harry? What did I ever do wrong? Don\'t know you know that I love you?\"

\"I love you too---\" Harry began, but he was abruptly cut off by an angry voice.

\"Don\'t tell me you love me!\" Sirius cried, pushing him off. \"If you loved me, you wouldn\'t be sleeping with another man. If you loved me, you wouldn\'t lie to me. If you loved me, you wouldn\'t be doing this to me!\"

Suddenly, Harry had had enough. \"You\'re right, Sirius,\" he said coldly. \"I don\'t love you. You mean nothing to me; you never did. I\'m too good for you. You\'re nothing but a murderer.\" With that, he stood up and stormed off into the bedroom.

As Harry slammed the door behind him, he sat down on the bed and began to cry. He didn\'t know why he had just said what he had said. He just... Unable to explain his own actions, he curled up into a ball against the wall, weeping silently.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sirius sat, frozen, for several hours after Harry\'s words. What the young man had said hurt him more than anything possible. So Harry didn\'t love him. He had been wrong all this time. He laughed bitterly.

He abruptly stood up, walking into the bathroom. He came back out, a small shotgun in his hand. He looked at it, tracing the lines with his fingers. He had had this since before his Azkaban days. And he had kept it.

He suddenly walked towards the bedroom. Opening the door, he saw Harry standing by the window, gazing out. The boy turned as he entered. Almost automatically, he raised the gun and pulled the trigger. Harry collapsed to the floor.

\"My God,\" he whispered suddenly. \"What have I done?\" Tears began streaming off his face as he rushed towards his lover. He cradled Harry towards his chest. \"Merlin, Harry, what have I done?\"

\"S-Sirius.\" Harry\'s voice was weak, but a small smile lit up his beautiful face. \"I-- I deserve this. I l-lied to you. I did it because you were too good for me. I--I\'m sorry. I-I l-love you, S-Siri.\" With one last shuddering breath, he closed his eyes.

\"I love you too, Harry,\" Sirius whispered, holding onto his lover for dear life. What was he to do now?

Suddenly, he knew. Lifting Harry\'s body, he placed it lovingly onto the bed. He too crawled into bed, cradling Harry towards him. Then, closing his eyes, he lifted the shotgun to his temple and pulled the trigger.

Outside, far away in the darkness, an owl hooted in mourning.

~Finis~

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