Heal

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Introduction

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Rating: NC-17

Warning: This story contains adult situations and a sexual explicitness not suitable for everyone. Read at your own caution and do not read if you are not of the appropriate maturity.

Disclaimer: All characters used within this story are property of J.K. Rowling. She happens to hold the rights to the Harry Potter universe and this story in no ways lays claim for dispute of those rights. The plot of the story is, however, not owned by J.K. Rowling. That herein belongs to me, therefore all events in the story are fictitious.

Introduction: Five years after the death of Sirius Black, Harry Potter and Remus Lupin make a shocking discovery. Frustration, worry, melancholy and more occurs as they try to heal the scars.

Characters: Harry Potter, Remus Lupin, and Sirius Black.

~ Necrotic Eclipse

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Heal

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Squirrels twittered busily, scuttling across various branches to grab acorns; they were gathering food for the upcoming winter. Funny—it truly was. One never thought about the will of instinct of animals. How plants could blossom in spring, knowing well ahead of time the harsh weather would become a mere speck on the horizon. Admirable. Enviable. Detestable.

Harry watched a yellow-brown leaf drifting in the air. Performing acrobatics, it amused the invisible audience. As if knowing the boy with the glasses was there. Only it probably wouldn\'t be interested in the lightning bolt scar. After all, it had seen so many differing types of scars already on its parent. Criss-crosses, jagged snipes, arcs and parabolic cuts in the bark of some towering tree. The thought relaxed Harry as he watched the leaf dance away from his field of vision. That was okay, though. Another leaf had already started the similar routine, tumbling with the wind.

Little v-shaped figures well above any rooftop flapped in the distance. Grassy lawns rippled like water, a whistling sound accompanying it as a breeze blew through the shutters. A woman pushed a baby carriage on the sidewalk as her scarf trailed, flittering about. Miniature leafy tornadoes spun about on invisible platforms, the wind revolving it faster and faster, caressing every particle. A figure left his place by the window. Nature, enthralled in its ritualistic dance, did not notice.

*~*~*~*~*

\"Check and mate.\"

Harry frowned slightly and looked at the board. A knight, clad in metal armor and all, was viciously threatening his king, whom was busy cowering and looking around in a futile, desperate manner for protection. His pawns were glaring at him, threatening rebellion. On top of the possible peasant revolts, his queen was batting her eyes coquettishly at the opposing king. The opposing queen was predictably furious and had latched her hands onto the king-in-question\'s arm. And, to top it all off, his sole bishop was ferociously spouting blasphemy.

\"Fuck.\"

Remus lazily raised an eyebrow and stood up. Harry glared to no effect and followed suit. It hadn\'t even been close. Remus shed his shirt, shoes and socks—all for the pawns he had lost. Harry hadn\'t been as fortunate, having lost all of his pawns, knights, a bishop and both castles. Scowling, he kicked off his socks and shoes and pulled off his pants.

Although Harry couldn\'t see, being busy pulling off his sweater, he could tell Remus was grinning. \"I do believe that you lost more pieces than you have clothes. What was it? Each pawn is worth one point, minor clothing is equal, and major clothing is four points... Stop it, Harry.\" Harry was busily thrashing against his sweater, head caught in an opening suited for his arm, not his head. Remus continued, \"That means you owe twenty eight points on top and have only twelve points remain—\"

\"Yeah, yeah,\" broke in Harry. The sound was muffled by the fabric suffocating him. He breathed deeply as he victoriously pulled off the previously imposing garment. Catching the smugness of his opponent\'s expression, he added, \"Stop gloating.\"

Remus raised his eyebrows innocently. The gesture practically cried \"Who? Me?\" Harry paused while unbuttoning his shirt and sneered before resuming work.

\"Sore loser, anyone?\" Remus\'s tone was brimming with amusement. Harry rolled his eyes in reply. \"Come on now, we\'re wasting time. Take off your boxers.\"

Rolling his eyes again, Harry complied. Remus leaned back leisurely to study the body in display before him. Strands of hair partly covered Harry\'s eyes—the green eyes which gazed at him from their place beyond black-rimmed glasses. The arms were not as defined as James\'s had been, he thought. James? James. It jarred him to remember bits of the past and promptly shook off the feeling. The torso was familiar, although the abdominal muscles leaner and less defined than Si—an-and the male organ was half-erect. A small smile escaped him.

\"Enjoying this, are you?\" Harry asked, trying to act offended. Considering that the penis in question had lengthened a few inches, Remus could tell that Harry did not find the situation too unpleasant.

\"Yes, yes I am.\"

A reluctant smile finally escaped Harry\'s lips. His grin widened involuntarily, unable to keep up the charade. \"This is kind of kinky. Very kinky.\"

\"Indeed?\" Remus asked casually.

He lazily half-circled Harry, ending up with a fetching view of a familiar, muscular back and tight buttocks. The skin was golden brown under the firelight. Arms enclosing around the wide shoulders, Remus coaxed his partner to lean into his chest, placing a kiss on his lover\'s cheek. His hand trailed over the silvery hairs on lean stomach and past the navel.

\"I couldn\'t tell,\" he muttered, fisting the hard length in his palm.

Leisurely he stroked the heated mass while unbuckling his belt. The buckle tinkled as it fell to the ground and was joined promptly by a light pair of navy blue boxers. Harry braced himself on the wall. With his left hand on Harry\'s hip and his right holding Harry\'s cock, Remus slid in.

A rush of memories reeled in his mind as he slid deeper, savoring the feel of the muscles gripping him. Gently he pulled back and pushed. Each consecutive drive increased with intensity. Soon all became one. Pushing in, sliding past, stroking the flesh, and twisting the erection. Push, pull, push, pull—a cycle of sex to which seemed no end until the friction took heist. In seconds the chain shattered. One poured his essence into the other with one forceful, desperate thrust and the other moaned and buckled under the pressure.

It was like a stream: Remus filling Harry to the brim, who followed by spurting over Remus\'s hand. One continuous flow. The liquid dripped down a hand and down the back of a thigh. It was all so fluid... Fluid as their knees. Neither spoke as Harry rested their weight against the wall. Like dominoes they stood, sloped on the verge of falling. On the edge but not quite yet.

Nothing moved in the room except white drops on the wall oozing down. Trickling like the cum on their bodies.

*~*~*~*~*

Harry stares and cannot help feel the pulsating burst of déjà vu as he watches the cat stalk. The prey in question, a small squirrel, seems ignorant. But Harry knows better. He observes how the squirrel is no longer eating the berry—even though it holds the food in its little claws. He sees the stillness that has taken over the body. He sees how the grass bends a mere twenty yards away and knows the prey also sees the movement. The cat may be an experienced hunter, but the squirrel isn\'t alive today for nothing. The cat\'s tail swishes angrily from side to side and the eyes narrow. It is a black tabby with white paws. It is a cunning creature of nature. It is a ferocious fighter with glowing yellow-brown eyes.

And it kicks off with its powerful hind legs to begin the chase.

Harry watches as the squirrel drops all pretenses of ignorance. The berry, which it had seemed so interested in only moments ago, lays forgotten on the lawn. The tabby\'s long strides and ruthless determination make it a fearsome foe, but the squirrel is no idiot. It knows what it is being chased by, its chances of survival, and what to do. Its adrenaline, speed and instincts are impressive. It almost succeeds.

Almost.

Harry can only watch as the tabby viciously nails the fluffy tail with its claws and swipes at the brown head. Harry can only watch as the tabby bats the prey around... Swatting it like a toy. Harry can only watch as it begins to tear at the prey.

Oddly enough, he is much moved by the events. It has struck a chord within him which he did not know existed. The overwhelming feelings of déjà vu return a thousand folds more potent. He stares at the lawn as the black tabby finishes off its feast, leaving the remains for ants and flies that surely will arrive later. Dark blue hues tint the world and Harry can\'t help but inhale deeply. No pine fresh smell assaults his nose. Neither does he feel the dew slip on and in-between his toes.

He does not feel spring bloom around him. He does not feel winter officially end.

But that\'s because Harry is busy watching the scene from his window. The alarm shows the time: It is six thirty in the morning. He stretches, shivering slightly from the cool air, and enters his nude body into the bathroom to brush his teeth. After showering he steals all the towels and removes the bathrobes. Smirking, he sets off to make breakfast. Summer will blossom and he knows those depressing clouds will part, but something still doesn\'t feel right.

When he later cooks breakfast, he still will be unable to shake off the feeling.

Life and death: So easy it is to go from one to the other. Except the dead cannot be reborn and those alive do not receive a second chance. The razor sharp barrier, as witnessed by a single talon of The Ghastly Vulture, is too thin to acknowledge. Harry, of course, remains ignorant. Or in denial. One cannot say, for he is helpless to utter a word.

Helpless as he was when the cat pounced on the squirrel, ending the squirrel\'s life with one strategic swipe.

Helpless.

But not helpless enough to lack an appetite.

*~*~*~*~*

Remus was not very happy. The smell of bacon had woken him up at seven and he had groggily gotten up. Stumbling into the bathroom, he had brushed his teeth and blindly reached for the towel only to grasp empty air. Chastising lightly the lack of towels in a muttering voice—

\"Effin bloody goddamn shitty towels.\"

—he had awkwardly opened the shower curtains and gracelessly flung himself in. The hot water pounding his scalp had relaxed his muscles and his shoulders had slumped in reaction, but that wasn\'t the point. The point was that he was standing barefoot on the bathroom carpet with no bloody towels OR his trusty bathrobe in sight.

\"Just like Harry to wash the laundry at the fucking wrong time,\" he muttered.

He glanced around and frowned. Swiftly he entered the bedroom and searched the drawers to find them empty. A snarl involuntarily erupted from his throat and he gulped.

Holy shit. Calm down. Best to calm down.

It was truly unavoidable—those small moments where the wolf in him showed its face to the world—but he always tried to repress it. Repress the urge to sink his teeth into human flesh or to wind his hands around a human\'s neck, strangling the life beneath the skin. Admittedly these moments were rare and rather extreme. Never in his life had he truly acted harshly based on suppressed instincts. But sometimes, just sometimes, those instincts erupted. They did so in his head.

Having watched so many of his friends and acquaintances leave him due to war, he had gotten used to pain far greater than little emotional bursts. It was a surprise he wasn\'t insane.

It wasn\'t like he was insane already, after all.

Remus was too self-possessed to allow that to occur; only severe trauma could incite that. He hadn\'t been put under the Cruciatus curse recently as far as he could remembe—

With a startled jump he realized he had reached the kitchen wearing no clothes, walking in his slippers. And, with equal amazement, he registered the fact that Harry was busy pouring batter into a pan in a matching costume. For the first time he realized the possibility of Harry not leaving any of his clothes free on purpose.

The devious little bugger, Remus thought with a fond and thoroughly excited smile.

He walked over to Harry normally and fondled his lover\'s rump.

\"Hello Harry.\"

Harry laughed as Remus\'s erection rubbed against him. \"Seems like someone forgot to get dressed today.\"

Remus reached around the waist and palmed an equally erect penis. \"Seems like I\'m not alone.\"

Shrugging, Harry pressed down on the batter with a spatula.

Placing a kiss on the nape of Harry\'s neck, Remus trailed downward. His hands ran their paths past the shoulder blades to the lower back. Kneeling, he ran his hands in a caress on the hairy inner thighs. Harry, still facing the stove, appeared oblivious to the action as he flipped the pancake. Only his erection responded, lengthening as Remus licked his scrotum. Harry took a small step back. Remus sucked on the sac and Harry took another small step back. As Remus trailed his tongue at the base of Harry\'s shaft, Harry finally dropped all pretenses and moved back fully, the pan now held at arm\'s length.

Remus crawled into the short gap and turned around. Back pressing against the oven, lower legs flush against the sparkling floor, he opened his mouth and took the tip of the cock, which hung stiffly above him, past his lips. He stuck out his tongue and took the member fully into his mouth, moving his head back and forth a few inches in the limited space. Harry moaned and, after pulling back his hips, thrust into Remus\'s mouth. Remus adjusted to the motions of Harry\'s thrusts and closed his eyes. Harry himself became lost in the sensation and gripped the edge of the stove tightly with his left hand.

Lost in the smell of pancake and the taste and feel of Harry, Remus was startled by the feel of something brushing his arousal. Opening his eyes, he saw from the edge of his eye Harry\'s foot brushing him. His groin tightened and he used his hands to stabilize Harry.

For minutes only the sizzling hisses from the fire and the faint plop of cock in mouth could be heard. The heady smell of bacon and and pancake filled the kitchen. With the slickness covering his sensitive skin, Harry was unable to help himself; he ejaculated with a groan. Remus chocked for a second on the gush of warm liquid in his mouth before swallowing. Several seconds later as Harry pulled away, Remus grasped the half-hard member in his right hand and placed numerous kisses on the flesh, lapping at the scent.

Harry pulled away and crouched to Remus\'s level. Wordlessly he gripped Remus\'s erection, pressed it against Remus\'s belly, and squeezed tightly. Remus moaned and became undone immediately. Hot sticky liquid splattered against his chest and belly. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the metallic texture of the oven.

\"Well,\" stated Harry as he stood up, wiping his fingers against Remus\'s thigh, \"breakfast is ready.\"

*~*~*~*~*

Harry waited by the window. He was starkers; he and his lover never bothered to wear clothes anymore. Clothes only intruded on what was most definitely going to happen. When and where might be excellent questions but not what. Sex. It was always sex... Not that it mattered right now.

Summer\'s end had descended upon England. The torrent of rain and wind drummed upon the roof, presaging the dismal weather that was sure to follow. Droplets danced and swirled across the grassy lawn. Only the occasional small tree branch or soggy newspaper being pushed mindlessly on the street by a gale proved the world hadn\'t frozen in animation. Yellow beacons lit numerous windows, responses to the looming darkness. Circles furiously spiraled in puddles and water streamed into the drains.

When he saw a hurried, cloaked figure walking two houses down, he was not surprised. Although most creatures dared not venture from their safe, comfortable holes, some had to. Likewise, that was why Remus was out there, having to go to the food shop and buy groceries. Unfortunately they couldn\'t risk a muggle catching a magical performance that happened to be simply far too real.

Harry hastened to open the door, watching Remus, whom was carrying a bulk beneath his jacket, dash across the lawn. Remus stumbled inside and Harry reached out to take the soggy cloak. Remus shook his head, scattering droplets onto the floor, leaving Harry to gaze questioningly at him. Remus simply walked further in, heedless of the mud being dragged across the floor.

\"Havh to, to...\" Remus paused to catch his breath. \"You have to see this.\"

\"What?\"

Remus turned around sharply and shook his head violently as if to say, \"No.\" Harry\'s eyes widened and he took a step back. In response to his previous question, Remus carefully placed a bundle on the ground. Harry frowned. When did they start handing out black bags—

It moved.

\"Yes, Harry,\" Remus said gently, surprising Harry.

He hadn\'t realized he had said the words out loud. He brushed off the issue mentally and squatted for a better look before being sprayed with water.

ohmygosh

A large, shaggy black dog stood in front of him. Unbidden, the image of glowing eyes flashed in his mind. Him raising his wand, stumbling over his trunk, a blinding flash of light...

Snuffles.

*~*~*~*~*

\"Is it really him, Remus?\" Harry asked with a desperate gleam in the world famous sapphire eyes.

Remus bit his lip nervously. \"I don\'t know.\"

\"Where\'d you? How? I...\"

\"He looked pretty unhealthy and I just knew he had to be,\" Remus responded quickly. \"It-it... Who else could it be? He... He looks so much like Sirius.\"

He glanced at Remus painfully. \"But it\'s been a week.\"

We haven\'t touched or seen each other for so long? Still... \"It\'s Sirius.\"

Harry frowned. \"Remus—\"

No, Harry, no. \"It\'s Sirius, Harry.\"

A small glimmer of hope shone in those vivid green orbs. A tentative smile crossed his lips. \"It is Sirius, isn\'t it?\"

The werewolf answered with his own smile. \"Yes, yes it is.\" But will he ever show himself? It was a very good question.

*~*~*~*~*

\"Hello Sirius,\" Harry said.

They were lying on the carpet next to the fireplace. Harry stared at the black dog, whom still showed no inclinations of reverting back to human form. Everyone except a certain canine in the house was growing restless. Ten days since the discovery of Sirius and he still remained in his animagus form.

Snuffles rolled onto his back, presenting his belly to Harry. Harry absent-mindedly rubbed the belly and swallowed hard.

\"How useless I felt knowing there was nothing I could. It\'s like a picture... Frozen of weather, time, location—an infestation of color.\" Harry stood up and started pacing. \"My memories haunted me day and night. The very solace I found was laid bereft at dawn\'s arrival. Do you know how it feels? Watching someone close to you die? Knowing everyone in your contact will die? Nothing in this world is safe! NOTHING! Nothing that I can do! There is nothing in the bloody world that is safe!\"

Harry\'s eyes widened as he realized for the first time how loud his voice had been. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed his shoulders.

\"I\'m just saying,\" he started in a rasp, \"imagine yourself. Right in front of your eyes is the boy you live for—the reason for your sanity. Your best mate\'s son. All the remnants of the good times you had... Will ever have... And in a heartbeat he is going away. You know he is never going to return. If only you could cross the room and pull him back. If only you could... If only you-you... If only... If...\"

Sighing, he roughly brushed a hand through his hair. He buried his face in his hands. The only sounds made were cackles from the fire.

Harry thought back to the veil\'s countenance. The velvet rustles, the sheer fabric, the voices... Only the veil existed. It called forth attention. Hypnotic folds like a whirlpool swallowed everything surrounding it. Death. Eternal.

A small thump on the couch made him jump and looking down he saw Snuffles staring intensely Snuffles barked. Smiling, Harry sat up straight and let the dog lie on his lap. Lowering his head, he burrowed his face into the soft coat. Dimly he recognized the rough tongue lapping at his cheek.

*~*~*~*~*

\"No.\"

Remus frowned. \"Harry, we have to be—\"

\"Patient?\" Harry asked with a snort. \"It\'s been three weeks! THREE whole goddamn weeks—\"

\"I know!\" Remus broke in heatedly, \"I know how long it has been! Look, you\'re not the only one.\"

\"You sure act like it!\" Harry snapped.

Remus tiredly shook his head. \"Do we have to do this? Now?\" For Merlin\'s sake, they were sitting in bed. Fully clothed.

Harry bit his lip. \"You\'re right.\"

\"Can we? Uh, you know...\"

\"You don\'t have to ask.\"

\"The way it\'s been recently, I-I...\"

Harry determinedly kissed Remus. He started taking off Remus\'s shirt as Remus busied himself with Harry\'s buckle. Slithering out of his trousers, Harry pulled off his shirt while kicking off his boxers.

Remus, seeing the familiar skin, abandoned any thoughts of taking off his own clothing. He pounced on Harry, rolling Harry onto his stomach. Remus panted in his partner\'s ear, immediately beginning the pleasing motions, feeling the muscles squeezing him. The bed squeaked with every thrust, the sheets rustled and heavy breathing clouded the silent atmosphere. He felt the pleasure in his belly spread and, in three consecutive strokes, spent himself.

Embedded in the effects of the orgasm, he vaguely acknowledged his body being turned over. He was distanced, not truly realizing how his pants were at his ankles, how his body was being pushed into the mattress. He felt as if his mind was separated from his body. Only when Harry ejaculated did he awaken. They lay in the pleasing sensation of sweaty skin on skin.

Neither stirred nor said a word when Snuffles went to sleep, sandwiched between their nude bodies.

*~*~*~*~*

Remus thought about what Sirius should have seen. The sight of Remus Lupin mauling a boy. Not just any boy but Harry Potter, Sirius\'s godson, whom he and Remus were trusted by James to protect. Remus should have been shred to pieces.

Certainly Sirius would not be licking Harry\'s cheek sloppily. Sirius would not be watching impassively as Harry sucked Remus off. Sirius would not be ignorant of the fact his presence was arousing Harry.

He didn\'t understand it. A deep feeling of unease settled in his stomach. He pushed it away.

It wasn\'t hard to. After Harry did that trick with his tongue of his, his mind couldn\'t concentrate on anything but what was—

\"Oh,\" he grunted, arching off the bed, hands tightening their hold on Harry\'s hair.

With one last moan he ejaculated. Harry swallowed and wiped his cheek clean of Remus\'s juices. Silently he offered Snuffles his hand.

Snuffles sniffed warily before lapping the juices innocently, barking happily.

*~*~*~*~*

\"He\'s not Sirius.\"

\"No, he\'s not.\"

Harry sighed. \"We should check around the neighborhood. Someone must be missing him.\"

\"Maybe he\'s a stray.\"

Snorting, Harry smiled wryly. \"I doubt it.\"

Remus watched Snuffles chasing the ducks across the frozen ice. More often than not he would lose his traction and skid across the lake.

\"Will they still be waiting? They probably think he\'s dead.\"

\"Maybe. We\'ll live either way,\" Harry added.

Remus shrugged nonchalantly. \"Of course.\"

Dipping a hand inside Remus\'s trousers, Harry licked Remus\'s ear. \"We still have each other,\" Harry whispered, stroking the erection.

When Snuffles returned and rolled onto his back, Harry obligingly rubbed the exposed belly.

Remus\'s cheeks were flushed and he was too busy regaining his composure to move as Harry and Snuffles headed back home.

*~*~*~*~*

The little girl walked away with her pet, overjoyed at being reunited with her furry friend.

Faces unreadable, Harry and Remus watched Snuffles—no, Max—jubilantly running circles around the girl with the braids.

Before they knew it they were in bed again, their clothes had been shed and they were eager.

And they were ready to heal. Together.

Or maybe it was all just an elaborate excuse to touch each other. Regardless, they did.

And would not stop continuing to do so anytime soon.

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