Lessons in Life, Part I

TITLE: Lessons in Life

AUTHOR: Lady Sirius and Snape\'s Lil\' Quill

PAIRING: SB/RL

RATING: NC17

FEEDBACK: shelley_runyon@yahoo.com, snapeslilquill@kittyonline.nl

DISCLAIMER: Of course all rights to Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling - we are merely humble scribes who worship the characters and wish to write about them.

DEDICATION: To my glorious, talented, wondrous and everlastingly sexy inspiration - Gary Oldman. And to the sexy and talented and sorely missed Kevin Smith (whose handsome face is being used for Professor Todd at our Marauder rpg).

Chapter One - Begin at the Beginning


\'Begin at the beginning,\' the King said gravely, \'and go on till you come to the end: then stop.\' - Alice In Wonderland, by Lewis Carroll

Ian Todd POV


I walked through the main doors leading into the castle proper - that impressive castle of my youth known as Hogwarts - one time repository of many of my fondest dreams - and feelings I had long forgotten flooded through me once again. I felt as if I were coming home again, and it was a good feeling to have. Has it really been fifteen years since I was last here - since I walked through those doors for the last time as an innocent youth setting out to make his way in the world? Ideals and dreams, hopes and visions. All of which have brought me full circle to the place where I began - this school - this Hogwarts. But now I am a teacher, not a student. And I am thirty-two years old, not seventeen. And the innocence has been replaced with a modicum of experience, hopefully tempered with a smidgen of common sense, and the ability to parlay the lessons of the real world into enlightening words of wisdom for this generation I have come to teach.

I was more than flattered when I received the letter from Albus Dumbledore himself requesting me to teach at my old alma mater - I was truly honoured. I had always respected Professor Dumbledore when I was a student, and I swore to myself that I would not give him cause to regret his choice. I spent the summer preparing to teach Defense Against the Dark Arts - DADA to the students, with their penchancy for having lazy tongues and making acronyms out of everything. My dear mother, from whom I inherited my muggle blood, was very proud of me and made no bones about it, and I suspect dear old dad, a gentleman wizard of the old school, felt some stirrings of pride in his only child for, although he was not prone to displays of affection, he managed to clap me on my shoulder the day I left and wish me well. Which for him was a great deal.

Upon my arrival, I made my way to the headmaster\'s office, per my instructions, where I was met with a kindly reception, and a spot of tea. And chocolate, of course. Dumbledore makes it his business to know everything about everyone, and so it was not surprising to me that he knew of my voracious sweet tooth for the confection. Not to mention that it is a very good cure for many things. We chatted about life in general, Hogwarts in particular, and I outlined my curriculum for him - him nodding as he listened, that great grey beard moving up and down as he did. It was all so familiar, and warm. He talked to me of the other teachers, and warned me about getting on Filch\'s bad side - he said this with a twinkle in his eye, for of course I remembered the caretaker from my years at the school, and his feline sidekick, Mrs. Norris. Also he told me about one student in particular - Remus Lupin by name - and he proceeded to tell me the poor boy\'s history, and I felt an immediate protective surge for the fellow, vowing to myself to befriend him and to help him as much as possible. I could not tolerate the idea of someone being ostracized for something which not only could they not help, but something which did not define in any way whom they were, and I was indignant at the very idea, as the headmaster explained the necessity of discretion. When I looked up at him, I saw his pale blue eyes gleam, and I swear that he had expected no less from me. Wise man, Dumbledore, and very gracious.

I easily found my room in the staff wing of the castle, where I had sent my things ahead of me, and everything was merely awaiting my arrival. It was a warm comfortable set of rooms, with a cozy fireplace, which I knew from experience I would appreciate greatly when winter made its expected albeit unwelcome appearance. After all, castles can be quite drafty, and Hogwarts is no exception. I had brought along many of my books from home, for what home is complete without such comforts? Many classics of the wizard and muggle world alike - one advantage of being a half-blood, my exposure to many great works of literature, although I can feel the heat from the Slytherin House even as I write this - to them there is nothing that takes the place of pure wizard blood. Well, they are simply wrong. End of story.

And there also was my pride and joy - that which I valued over everything I possessed - my precious phonograph and the collection of records which I had painstakingly assembled over the years. My main musical interest lay in the field of jazz, but I enjoyed other genres as well, especially classical, and big band. One of the things I had decided to try in my first teaching endeavour was to keep music playing in the background of the classroom - hopefully it would stimulate young minds to want to learn. At least that was my theory. And my hope.

The first day of classes, I was very nervous. Worried that the students wouldn\'t like me, or that they would laugh at me. I must have checked my reflection in the mirror a dozen times to ensure that everything was in its proper place, and that I wouldn\'t be laughed at for some inadvertent sartorial error. No, I looked fine, I decided. My usual self. I went to the classroom early, positioning the phonograph for maximum effect, and looking through my collection I decided to start today with some Benny Goodman. Begin the Beguine soon filled the air, and I was satisfied.

The first years were even more nervous than I, which set me at my ease as I concentrated on them, and soon I forgot to feel self-conscious any more. They were all so young. Had I ever been this very young? Of course I had, but it seemed so long ago and far away. The nice thing about first years is that they haven\'t had time to develop any truly nasty habits, and I was hoping to keep them that way. Foolish man, yes, I know, but still there was so much wonder and amazement in their youthful faces, that I wanted to keep it there forever.

The morning went nicely, each class being polite and attentive - but then it was the first day, I knew - give it time. We stopped for lunch, before resuming afternoon classes. And then it was time for my fifth years. That was when I met him - Remus John Lupin by name. I knew him at once, not just from the description that Dumbledore had given me. But there was something about him. He entered the room with three other youths - Gryffindors all by the crest on their robes - and I could see that he seemed shy and ill at ease, probably due to the nature of the course, and not knowing how I would handle the knowledge of his \"secret\". He was tall and slender, with tawny hair and the most expressive amber eyes. He paused for a moment at the front of the room. I caught his eye and smiled at him - a smile of welcome. I could see him visibly relax and return mine with a warm one of his own, which lit up his entire face. I think he would have spoken, but at that moment one of his friends - a dark haired youth who seemed, from the reactions of the other students in the room, to be some sort of object of veneration at the school - impatiently took his arm and pulled him to a seat, muttering, \'Come on, Remy, quit standing there like that,\' and the moment was lost.

I assigned no homework that day - I hadn\'t forgotten how much I hated getting an assignment on the very first day - and I waited til the class was filing out, to approach Remus. He was talking to the dark boy again - who was laughing and carrying on about something. I\'m not sure what about, but he seemed oblivious to the pained look that the other boy was trying to hide. But I could see it, even if the young Don Juan couldn\'t. I approached them, coughing softly to make my presence known, which earned me a glare from the boy, who was admonished with a soft, \"Sirius!\" from Remus. Ah, so this was the infamous Mr. Black, whose name I had heard bandied about during the course of the day from female and male students alike. Always accompanied by wistful sighs, I noticed.

\"I don\'t mean to interrupt, but if I could have a moment of your time?\" I looked enquiringly at Remus as I spoke.

\"Of course, Professor Todd,\" he said in that low-pitched voice of his, so soft and gentle. Black looked as if he objected, but one look from Lupin quieted him, and I heard him say, \"I\'ll be back in a few minutes. I\'ll catch up with you,\" and reluctantly the other boy left the room, with backward glances and dark looks in my direction. I paid him no need, waiting until there were no other students left before I waved Remus into a chair, and I selected one near him.

\"Remus, I have been looking over your scholastic record, and I am very impressed. Very impressed indeed.\"

He coloured at my words, a gentle blush suffusing his very pale face. \"Thank you,\" he murmured softly.

\"I see that you enjoy reading?\" I looked up at him.

\"Very much,\" he replied earnestly. \"I can\'t imagine anyone not wanting to read.\"

\"I can\'t either, to be honest, but I think I have met a few of them today.\" He laughed politely at my joke.

\"I was wondering if I could be so bold as to lend you a few books from my library? I have some very wonderful authors that I think you would enjoy. And I think you are one of the few people that would appreciate them. It has nothing to do with the class, of course, and it\'s not mandatory, naturally.....\"

\"I would like that, Professor Todd,\" he said quickly, his eyes dropping to the books in his arms as he spoke, as if he were afraid that if he looked at me I might change my mind.

\"Good,\" I replied. \"If you\'d like to come by my rooms later, I can give them to you.\"

He raised his head at my words, and his whole face was lit up by an incredulous smile. \"Is tonight, after dinner, too soon?\" he asked, his voice betraying his eagerness.

\"Not too soon at all,\" I answered.

At just that moment, an impatient voice could be heard from the hallway. \"REMY!\"

\"Sorry, Professor,\" he apologized, gathering up his things and heading toward the door. \"Sirius has yet to learn patience.\" He shook his head and quickly disappeared from view.

And just that quick glimpse of him, that brief conversation, told me that Remus J. Lupin was someone special, someone to be nurtured, and I intend to do just that.


Remus’ PoV:

The first day of classes are always exciting to me, I love to learn and to read which make James roll his eyes and Sirius tell me that I should have been sorted into Ravenclaw. I don’t mind, they are good friends to me. They don’t judge me for being what I am and try to include me into every little aspect of their lives. Especially Sirius, he tells me everything, points out every girl or boy who gives him a second glance. He doesn’t understand how much that pains me sometimes. I am not jealous; not really, I am used to not getting what I want. The reason for that is easy; I don’t deserve happiness and love, not really. I am a werewolf… a freak of nature.

The first day of our fifth year at Hogwarts didn’t look like it was going to be any different from the four before. I carried around more books then we needed, James rolled his eyes at it and Sirius called me a Ravenclaw. I smiled, I knew I was where I was supposed to be, back home. Don’t get me wrong, my parents are nice people and they try to make a good home for me, but it is hard for them. Me being so very dangerous once a month, even though I love my parents and they love me, I prefer being at Hogwarts where I can’t hurt people at a full moon.

Morning classes felt like I hadn’t been gone at all, familiar and continuing on from last year. On our way to lunch Sirius points a pretty little Ravenclaw 4th year out to me, “I think I might ask her to go to the Three Broomsticks with me during our first Hogsmeade weekend, what do you think Remy?” He looks at me and I smile and tell him that she is pretty and that he should take her. I always say something like that, Sirius has good taste in girls if that is what you are looking for and it is not like I can say anything to stop him from asking her. Sometimes I want to tell him ‘no, don’t. Take me.’ But I never do, he loves the attention, he loves girls and they love him. I would be a terrible friend if I did something that egotistical, so I don’t. I encourage him like a friend should and listen to him brag about how great it was.

At lunch I remembered that we were going to get to meet our new DADA professor, I had watched him when Professor Dumbledore had introduced him at the Feast. I notice again that he looks nice, not just friendly but, and it brings a small blush to my face as I think of it, physically nice too. Sirius, James and Peter are nattering on about some Quidditch play and that gives me a chance to look up at the Head table and see if I can spot our new professor. He is there, talking to some of the other professors, ‘he has a nice smile… I didn’t just think that, did I? I have to stop that at once.’

“REMY!” I turn to face an annoyed Sirius.
“What?” I answer him unintelligently.
“You didn’t listen.” Sirius pouts as he stands to leave.
“Sorry,” I mutter and stand to follow my three friends; I don’t know where we are going, because I really was not listening. Before I leave the Great Hall I look back at the talking professors, but before I can think anything I hear. “REMY!”
“I am coming, Sirius.” I reply.

It turned out that Sirius had forgotten the textbook for DADA and that all four of us were going to the Gryffindor tower to pick it up. James, Peter and I waited in the commonroom while Sirius bounded up the stairs to get his book.
“SIRIUS!” James called up the stairs after about five minutes, “How long does it take to get a book?”
“I will be down in a second.” Sirius voice came from upstairs.
“What is he up to?” Peter sounded nervous. “We will be late for DADA, and we have a new professor.” Peter didn’t like to get into trouble, he did anything and everything for James and Sirius, but if it was possible without anybody, especially professors, knowing that it was him.

Finally Sirius came down the stairs. Peter and James didn’t see it but I did. He had brushed his hair and his teeth while he was up there. I shook my head and wondered what girl he was going to impress at DADA today. Again I noticed the thought, that he made himself look even better then he usually does for someone else but me, hurt. I pushed the hurt and the feeling he gives me to the back of my head and follow my friends to our next class.

The new professor is already there when we arrive, Sirius is telling about some girl and how she loves watching him, I am not really listening. There is music in the room and I spot the old-fashioned phonograph, I would love to own one of those, the music is great. Still, walking into that classroom, knowing that the new professor probably knows what I am is nerve-wracking. His job is to tell people about werewolves, how dangerous and dark they are and how they can be destroyed. I try to stay calm as I walk up to the front of the room, he looks at me and… he smiles. I can’t help but return the smile and feel relieved, I know he knows, all professors know, but it doesn’t seem like he is going to judge me… at least, not yet.

I would have walked up to him and welcomed him if Sirius hadn’t intervened, he pulls me into the seat next to him. How come Sirius always needs to touch me, talk to me, he won’t even stay out of my dreams. Even when he goes on a date it feels like I was there because he will tell me everything that happened, every single bloody detail. And he just doesn’t understand that it kills me. I think sometimes I hate him as much as I love him, because that is what the problem is. I am a freak of nature in love with the most popular wizard in school. Sad, isn’t it? I know he will never look at me like that, but if I smile at a professor he pulls me away. I don’t even know what he said, but of course I listened. I always listen; I listen to everything he says about anything and everybody.

Class is very interesting, Professor Todd is a great teacher and the music in the background is a great idea, it makes me feel more relaxed. Sirius of course is commenting on the taste of music the professor has, that it is old-fashioned. I don’t agree, yes it is older music, but it is very beautiful and one day if I am courageous enough I will ask the professor about that music so I can try to find some for myself. The class is over quickly and we don’t get any homework, I can see most people in the room love our new professor already, not giving homework the first day is the way to get students to like you, and I will have to remember that.

“Remy, did you see her look at me?” Sirius starts as soon as the class is over, I didn’t see it, I don’t even know who he is talking about to be honest. “Who wouldn’t look at you, Siri.” I answer; he beams at me with pride in his eyes. He goes on describing how she looked and of course why and how he was going to sweep her off her feet. I don’t like listening to all that, but I am a good friend and I listen, I think I even made him believe I was interested in the girl and I am almost sure I agreed to go on a double date with the girl\'s friend, who I of course also didn’t notice. I have given up on explaining to Sirius that I don’t look at girls during class but that I listen to what the professor is saying and that it might be a good idea for him to try that too, somewhere early last school year. But I never told him I don’t look at girls at all, he does, but I don’t, I look at him.

A cough behind me almost makes me jump and when I turn I see the professor. I hope I didn’t blush. Sirius glared, I was shocked. “Sirius.” I said and looked at him. I will talk to him later about glaring at professors. I smiled at Professor Todd when he asked if he could have a moment of my time, ‘he can have more then one moment.’ A little voice in my head said, I was grateful that somewhere my voice didn’t repeat that and that I heard myself say: “Of course, Professor Todd.” I knew that Sirius was not happy with me, even before he could open his mouth and say something I told him that I was only going to be a few minutes and that I would catch up with James, Peter and him. I didn’t look back at him as I followed the professor but I could feel Sirius’ dark eyes on me and I was sure a few more of his glares were directed at our new DADA professor.

When Professor Todd offered me a chair I prepared myself for the worst, even though he had been nice and he also had not mentioned me being a werewolf, I knew he knew and this was probably going to be an awkward talk about it. You can understand my surprise when he first complemented me on my grades. I know I blushed that time, I think I must have sounded very unintelligent when I muttered my thank you. Then he offered to lend me books, I could not believe my ears. Me? He offered them to ME! I am not important or handsome or special, but somewhere Professor Todd still found me special enough to offer me books. Of course I said yes. Who wouldn’t? Okay, Sirius probably wouldn’t, but this is not about Sirius, it is about me. I get offered books and I am going to make sure I get to read them, and maybe if I am lucky Professor Todd will let me ask questions about them.

Professor Todd said that I could come by to pick up some books and I was so happy at the idea that I couldn’t hide that when I asked: \"Is tonight, after dinner, too soon?\" I couldn’t believe I said that, I was about to apologize when he answered, “Not too soon at all.” I wanted to ask more but then I heard “REMY!” It was Sirius, who else. I quickly got my things together and rambled an apology about Sirius not being too patient and I walked out of the room quickly.

When I spotted Sirius I gave him one of my best glares, “That was very rude, Sirius.” I pushed past him and started to make my way to the Gryffindor tower. “But Remy…” Sirius’ voice sounded like he was pouting, I turned to look at him and yes, he was pouting. That pout could make me forget I was angry with him and I am sure he used that against me. “I wanted to talk to you.” I sigh at his words and smile. “What about, Sirius.” He starts talking about Quidditch or was it girls, I can’t remember, I was thinking about books and maybe just a little about our new DADA professor. I think this is the first time in a long while that not all my thoughts were centred on Sirius Black.