Working Out The Kinks
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
3,522
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
3
Views:
3,522
Reviews:
6
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Working Out The Kinks
Title: Working Out The Kinks
Date: 7 October 2004
Author: OdoGoddess (odogoddess@odospadd.com)
Rating: NC-17, a little humiliation, he\'ll live...
Pairing: Snape/Hooch
Sections: three parts
Book/Spoilers: none
Summary: it\'s in the title
Warning: humil, frottage
A/N: I needed some Snape smut...
~(*)~ ~(*)~ ~(*)~
DISCLAIMER: This non-profit material was produced out of love for the Harry Potter Universe and is not intended to infringe upon JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Books, nor any other holders of Harry Potter copyrights, in this or any other universe...
~(*)~
Working Out The Kinks
by OdoGoddess
\"I appreciate your helping me out, Severus.\"
Snape paused in unbuttoning his wet Quidditch robes and turned to glare at Xiomara Hooch.
\"As I\'m sure you can read, this is the changing room, Hooch. I\'d appreciate a little privacy.\"
\"Well, you\'re welcome all to bloody hell, yourself, Severus Snape,\" she grumbled from around a thin cigar she was puffing, ignoring his request and stepping in further. \"No wonder you don\'t have any dates on the weekend if that\'s how you greet most people.\"
He stared at her and finally said in a crisp tone, \"Hello, Ms. Hooch. You\'re entirely welcome. Now get the fuck out.\"
\"That\'s more like it,\" she smiled. \"You really know how to take the piss out of someone, don\'t you, Snape?\"
He closed his eyes for a moment, ignoring her innuendo. \"Was there something you needed, or had you planned on annoying me until I took my leave?\"
\"Oh, both, I\'m sure.\" Hooch sighed, then flicked her cigar end and eyed him. \"Actually, a promise is a promise, Snape. I came to pay up.\"
He frowned at this. \"I don\'t recall a debt.\"
\"I told you if you refereed this game for me I would either buy you dinner at Hogsmeade or give you a massage. I\'m skint. So a massage it will be.\"
\"I\'ll take a rain check.\"
\"I\'ll be skint next week, too,\" she drew on her cigar and smiled. \"Trust me - the massage will be far better than the slop they serve at the Rearing Stag.\"
\"I don\'t need a massage.\"
\"Piffle. You\'re walking like a rheumatic old crone with galloping gout.\"
\"I do not.\"
\"All right, a rheumatic old crone with blisters, then. I know what riding a broom for three hours straight does.\"
Snape drew in a deep breath and sighed. \"I really don\'t want a massage, Hooch.\"
\"Very well... if you must know...\" she picked at her cigar and made a face. \"I lost a month\'s pay packet on the Glasgow Gollums game. I can\'t buy you dinner.\"
Snape said nothing, his lips pursing as he stared at her.
\"It happened after you agreed.\"
The silence continued and she finally sighed with exasperation.
\"I\'m sorry, Snape. It\'s the only way I can make good on my debt and I don\'t want to owe anyone else.\"
He pursed his lips and looked askance. This was typical of his luck.
\"Very well. If you insist,\" he muttered, turning for the exit and leaving his soaking robes on since it was pouring outside anyway. \"But not here.\"
She pinched out out her cigar and sticking it in her pocket, said, \"Lead the way.\"
~(*)~
\"No wonder you\'re always in such a sour mood. It\'s bloody freezing down here!\"
\"You needn\'t stay.\"
\"I still owe you.\"
\"We could consider it open-ended. A future dinner date. Or... something of equal value.\"
\"Like what?\" she asked, eyes narrowed.
\"Perhaps... potions ingredients?\"
\"Like what?\" she repeated, eyes narrowing further.
Severus unbuttoned his sopping robes and flung them by the fire. The house elves would find them there, he knew. He sat on the stone ledge by the fireplace and began to unlace his shin guards.
\"There are certain ingredients I find hard to obtain.\"
\"If I can\'t afford a steak and kidney pie from the Rearing Stag, I certainly can\'t afford root of bloody asphodel or whatever it is you need.\"
\"I was thinking more along the lines of things freely available.\"
\"Such as?\"
He tossed the shin guards atop the robes and said succinctly, \"Menstrual blood.\"
Hooch made a face. \"Ew. You sure do know how to ruin the mood, Snape.\"
He waited.
\"I\'d rather not,\" she admitted. \"And I\'d rather not know what you need that for!\"
\"Pubic hair is also useful.\"
\"Snape. You\'re sick.\"
\"I merely wish to obtain materials that are extremely difficult if not impossible for me to find otherwise.\"
Hooch stared at him. \"Have you asked anyone else?\"
He scowled. \"Pomfrey refused outright to provide clippings from the Infirmary.\"
\"I should hope so!\"
He snorted. \"I was only asking for material she is going to discard anyway.\"
\"Why would she have pubic hair?\"
\"I was given to understand that all females past puberty grow it.\"
\"You\'re being a twat, Snape. I mean: Why would she remove anyone\'s pubic hair?\"
\"Occasionally there are injuries to the groin area of a student, particularly playing Quidditch. In order to treat a wound, sometimes it must be cleaned and the area depilitated.\"
\"Oh.\" Hooch considered this. \"And I\'m guessing the house elves--\"
\"Pomfrey told them under no circumstances to allow me access to her bin material. Not that it would do me any good. I need fresh cuttings, free of contamination. And the blood should be gathered in a glass bowl.\"
\"You\'re a sick, sick man, Severus.\" He looked up at this and she smiled at him. \"I like that in a man.\"
\"That still leaves us with how you plan to pay your debt,\" he said evenly.
Hooch sighed and stepped up to him. \"I\'ll do it... one condition.\"
\"I don\'t recall specifying conditions were allowed.\"
\"Do you want my hair or not?\"
\"And menstrual blood.\"
\"Planning a snack are we?\"
\"Hooch...\"
\"Very well, sanguinary byproducts, too - but first my condition.\"
\"Name it.\"
\"I give you that massage.\"
\"I thought that was already agreed upon?\"
\"Naked.\"
Snape sat straighter. \"You? Or I?\"
\"Just you. You\'re getting enough of my bits already.\"
He frowned. \"I...\"
\"Something we\'re ashamed of, Severus?\"
He rolled his eyes and glared at her. \"I see no reason for me to be unclothed.\"
\"How the bloody hell do you expect a good massage with your clothes on?\"
\"Just my shirt.\"
\"The whole kit or my thatch stays where it is.\"
\"Just my back.\"
\"Whatever I want or the red tide recedes.\"
Snape scowled. \"Bloody witch.\"
\"I thought that\'s what you wanted?\"
\"Fine,\" he snapped. \"But the room will be dark.\"
\"Who needs light?\"
He arched a brow at her.
\"It\'s just a massage, Severus,\" she insisted. \"I\'m good at those!\"
~(*)~
2b cont\'d
~(*)~
Date: 7 October 2004
Author: OdoGoddess (odogoddess@odospadd.com)
Rating: NC-17, a little humiliation, he\'ll live...
Pairing: Snape/Hooch
Sections: three parts
Book/Spoilers: none
Summary: it\'s in the title
Warning: humil, frottage
A/N: I needed some Snape smut...
~(*)~ ~(*)~ ~(*)~
DISCLAIMER: This non-profit material was produced out of love for the Harry Potter Universe and is not intended to infringe upon JK Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Books, nor any other holders of Harry Potter copyrights, in this or any other universe...
~(*)~
Working Out The Kinks
by OdoGoddess
\"I appreciate your helping me out, Severus.\"
Snape paused in unbuttoning his wet Quidditch robes and turned to glare at Xiomara Hooch.
\"As I\'m sure you can read, this is the changing room, Hooch. I\'d appreciate a little privacy.\"
\"Well, you\'re welcome all to bloody hell, yourself, Severus Snape,\" she grumbled from around a thin cigar she was puffing, ignoring his request and stepping in further. \"No wonder you don\'t have any dates on the weekend if that\'s how you greet most people.\"
He stared at her and finally said in a crisp tone, \"Hello, Ms. Hooch. You\'re entirely welcome. Now get the fuck out.\"
\"That\'s more like it,\" she smiled. \"You really know how to take the piss out of someone, don\'t you, Snape?\"
He closed his eyes for a moment, ignoring her innuendo. \"Was there something you needed, or had you planned on annoying me until I took my leave?\"
\"Oh, both, I\'m sure.\" Hooch sighed, then flicked her cigar end and eyed him. \"Actually, a promise is a promise, Snape. I came to pay up.\"
He frowned at this. \"I don\'t recall a debt.\"
\"I told you if you refereed this game for me I would either buy you dinner at Hogsmeade or give you a massage. I\'m skint. So a massage it will be.\"
\"I\'ll take a rain check.\"
\"I\'ll be skint next week, too,\" she drew on her cigar and smiled. \"Trust me - the massage will be far better than the slop they serve at the Rearing Stag.\"
\"I don\'t need a massage.\"
\"Piffle. You\'re walking like a rheumatic old crone with galloping gout.\"
\"I do not.\"
\"All right, a rheumatic old crone with blisters, then. I know what riding a broom for three hours straight does.\"
Snape drew in a deep breath and sighed. \"I really don\'t want a massage, Hooch.\"
\"Very well... if you must know...\" she picked at her cigar and made a face. \"I lost a month\'s pay packet on the Glasgow Gollums game. I can\'t buy you dinner.\"
Snape said nothing, his lips pursing as he stared at her.
\"It happened after you agreed.\"
The silence continued and she finally sighed with exasperation.
\"I\'m sorry, Snape. It\'s the only way I can make good on my debt and I don\'t want to owe anyone else.\"
He pursed his lips and looked askance. This was typical of his luck.
\"Very well. If you insist,\" he muttered, turning for the exit and leaving his soaking robes on since it was pouring outside anyway. \"But not here.\"
She pinched out out her cigar and sticking it in her pocket, said, \"Lead the way.\"
~(*)~
\"No wonder you\'re always in such a sour mood. It\'s bloody freezing down here!\"
\"You needn\'t stay.\"
\"I still owe you.\"
\"We could consider it open-ended. A future dinner date. Or... something of equal value.\"
\"Like what?\" she asked, eyes narrowed.
\"Perhaps... potions ingredients?\"
\"Like what?\" she repeated, eyes narrowing further.
Severus unbuttoned his sopping robes and flung them by the fire. The house elves would find them there, he knew. He sat on the stone ledge by the fireplace and began to unlace his shin guards.
\"There are certain ingredients I find hard to obtain.\"
\"If I can\'t afford a steak and kidney pie from the Rearing Stag, I certainly can\'t afford root of bloody asphodel or whatever it is you need.\"
\"I was thinking more along the lines of things freely available.\"
\"Such as?\"
He tossed the shin guards atop the robes and said succinctly, \"Menstrual blood.\"
Hooch made a face. \"Ew. You sure do know how to ruin the mood, Snape.\"
He waited.
\"I\'d rather not,\" she admitted. \"And I\'d rather not know what you need that for!\"
\"Pubic hair is also useful.\"
\"Snape. You\'re sick.\"
\"I merely wish to obtain materials that are extremely difficult if not impossible for me to find otherwise.\"
Hooch stared at him. \"Have you asked anyone else?\"
He scowled. \"Pomfrey refused outright to provide clippings from the Infirmary.\"
\"I should hope so!\"
He snorted. \"I was only asking for material she is going to discard anyway.\"
\"Why would she have pubic hair?\"
\"I was given to understand that all females past puberty grow it.\"
\"You\'re being a twat, Snape. I mean: Why would she remove anyone\'s pubic hair?\"
\"Occasionally there are injuries to the groin area of a student, particularly playing Quidditch. In order to treat a wound, sometimes it must be cleaned and the area depilitated.\"
\"Oh.\" Hooch considered this. \"And I\'m guessing the house elves--\"
\"Pomfrey told them under no circumstances to allow me access to her bin material. Not that it would do me any good. I need fresh cuttings, free of contamination. And the blood should be gathered in a glass bowl.\"
\"You\'re a sick, sick man, Severus.\" He looked up at this and she smiled at him. \"I like that in a man.\"
\"That still leaves us with how you plan to pay your debt,\" he said evenly.
Hooch sighed and stepped up to him. \"I\'ll do it... one condition.\"
\"I don\'t recall specifying conditions were allowed.\"
\"Do you want my hair or not?\"
\"And menstrual blood.\"
\"Planning a snack are we?\"
\"Hooch...\"
\"Very well, sanguinary byproducts, too - but first my condition.\"
\"Name it.\"
\"I give you that massage.\"
\"I thought that was already agreed upon?\"
\"Naked.\"
Snape sat straighter. \"You? Or I?\"
\"Just you. You\'re getting enough of my bits already.\"
He frowned. \"I...\"
\"Something we\'re ashamed of, Severus?\"
He rolled his eyes and glared at her. \"I see no reason for me to be unclothed.\"
\"How the bloody hell do you expect a good massage with your clothes on?\"
\"Just my shirt.\"
\"The whole kit or my thatch stays where it is.\"
\"Just my back.\"
\"Whatever I want or the red tide recedes.\"
Snape scowled. \"Bloody witch.\"
\"I thought that\'s what you wanted?\"
\"Fine,\" he snapped. \"But the room will be dark.\"
\"Who needs light?\"
He arched a brow at her.
\"It\'s just a massage, Severus,\" she insisted. \"I\'m good at those!\"
~(*)~
2b cont\'d
~(*)~