In Another Lifetime

Update 10/05/05: As per the new rules, I\'m adding a disclaimer here.
Disclaimer: Pursuant to copyright law, I acknowledge that I own none of the characters, concepts, or other related material in Harry Potter. I make no money from the writing of fan fiction based on the property of others.

Lucius Malfoy swallowed his fear firmly and gripped his wand as though it might fly from his fingers. His black s cos concealed him in the darkness, his hood drawn up to cover his white-blond hair. I’m too young to die, he thought. But of course that was not true. Since the rising of the Dark Lord, many even younger than he had been killed. His wife, for one. Their marriage had been arranged, but that did not make her death any easier. And now he was about to join her in the great silence, leaving little baby Draco all alone in a world turned to madness.

At his back, he heard a whisper. “I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this,” the other wizard said softly.

“It was nice knowing you,” Lucius replied.

“We should go out fighting.” Lucius turned to look over his shoulder at the black-cloaked wizard. Severus Snape’s face was bruised, and Lucius knew he had a similar collection of purpling marks. “I don’t want to die a coward.”

Lucius reached out to touch his friend’s chin gently. His gloved hands trembled. “You have fought bravely this night, Severus,” he whispered. “No one could accuse you of cowardice.”

The younger wizard swallowed. “I just wish…” He looked away, embarrassed.

“Go on, Severus,” Lucius murmured.

“I just wish I had gotten to say goodbye. She’s all by herself now, with the baby…”

Lucius nodded. “And I wish I could see my soow uow up. But that is not what fate intended for us. We cannot change it.”

Severus shook his head firmly, as if to clear it. “All right. On three.”

“On three.”

Lucius and his friend Barker leapt out in front of Severus. The younger boy cried out in surprise and stepped back from the horrific sight in front of him; the older Slytherins removed their masks, laughing. “That was awesome,” Barker said.

“I didn’t think so.” But Severus was smiling. “Happy Halloween, you two.” He shook his head as he walked away.

“Don’t you think we’re a little old for this?” Lucius asked.

“Oh, come on. We’re only fifteen, that’s not old. And you only live once, Lucy.”

“Don’t call me Lucy.” Lucius growled in mock anger and jumped on Barker, tumbling him into the grass. The teenagers wrestled until they were out of breath, then lay on the lawn panting. Lucius felt happily wearied. “Barker?” he asked.

“Yeah?”

“I never want to get too old for this.”

“Me neither.” Barker rolled onto his stomach. “Friends forever?”

“Friends forever.” Lucius sat up and clasped his housemate’s hand firmly. Barker’s keen brown eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled. “Now let’s get inside. We’ll miss the feast!”

Lucius felt a little dizzy when he stood, but he ran up the stone staircase after Barker. “You’ll never catch me,” Barker shouted over his shoulder. Lucius put on a burst of speed. When they arrived in front of the great hall, his head was swimming, and he stopped to pant for a moment

Lucius’ head was swimming. He opened his eyes and blinked. The view was not much different; he was in total darkness. The last thing he could recall with any clarity was leaping out of his hiding place with Severus.

He heard a sound and a sliver of light opened into the room.

“Well, well. If it isn’t my dear friend Lucius Malfoy.”

Lucius froze. It was James. A thrill of fear ran cold up Lucius’ spine.

“How are you feeling, Malfoy? A little groggy, I’d ime.” e.” Potter knelt beside him and tilted his head up. Lucius shivered. “You should really rethink your loyalties, Malfoy. I mean, come on. You have to know you and your silly little club can’t win, with your ridiculous tattoos and black cloaks. It’s like something out of a bad movie.”

“I am not a murderer,” Lucius said. “And that is why I cannot be your ally.” And why I cannot be your lover.

Potter laughed. “Oh, am I going to enjoy this,” he murmured, stroking Lucius’ chin with his thumb. “Oh yes.” He bent to bite Lucius’ neck, sending a shock of pain through the other man’s body. Potter laved the spot with his tongue and grinned. “I’ll be back,” he promised, standing.

As he walked out, he turned. “Oh, and Malfoy,” he said drolly, “I’m terribly sorry about Snivellus. Pity, really. I had hoped he could come and play as well.”

The door closed, cutting off the sound of his laughter. Lucius groaned and rolled over onto his back, staring upward into the darkness. Sleep, or something like it, claimed his exhausted mind and body. He slipped easily into unconsciousness.

Potter was still in his Quidditch robes when Lucius slipped into the locker room. He had originally come to the games to cheer for his house; now he came for James.

“There you are,” James murmured, closing his locker. “I thought you might have gotten bored and gone home.”

Lucius chuckled into a kiss, putting his hands on James’ slender waist. “Never.”

“So, how’s work?” James smiled cheekily when Lucius rolled his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” He kissed James again. “I don’t want to talk about anything.”

“Then we won’t.”

James pushed him back against the lockers, pinning his hands so he could not move.

When he awoke, he found he could not move. He looked around and discovered the source of this: he’d been tied to the bars of a headboard. Lucius shifted uncomfortably in his bonds. They were glossy black leather, thin enough to stretch when he struggled but too thick to snap.

“Patience, Malfoy, I’ll be there in a minute.”

Potter emerged from an adjacent room and Lucius’ breath hitched. Six months ago James Potter had been his lover. Sixth months ago Lucius had been in preparations to receive his Dark Mark. But now their paths had parted. He was still so beautiful, and still so deadly…

James’ hair was black as night, his skin as white as milk. He was shirtless, and Lucius could see the aggressively black skull and snake on his right arm. Lucius shuddered. Potter sat casually beside him, playing idly with a knife, flicking it in and out with a look of fascination.

“Delightful little invention, the switchblade,” he murmured, flicking his wrist. The blade made a snapping sound. “Turns out a wizard came up with it. No surprise to me.” He ran the blade along his tongue. Lucius winced.

Then James bent to inspect Lucius’ chest, and the Order of the Phoenix tattoo over his heart. “This doesn’t suit you,” he murmured, pressing the knife into Lucius’ flesh until blood welled around it. “Let’s get rid of it.”

Lucius watched in frozen horror as James dug the blade into his chest, stopping before it touched the bone. He didn’t want to kill Lucius; not yet, at least. The older wizard ground his teeth against the pain as James scraped away the flesh where the tattoo lay, leaving an angry red wound. Blood seeped down Lucius’ stomach and onto his legs and the sheets around him. James bent his head to lap up the glittering red liquid from Lucius’ stomach. He pressed the button on the knife and tossed it onto the sheets near Lucius’ head. James hands trailed through the pooling blood and he touched Lucius’ face, leaving a sticky handprint.

“It’s a good color for you,” James murmured. He stood up and slipped out of his trousers. Lucius glanced at the knife near his cheek; he could reach it with his mouth, if he stretched. He moved his eyes back to James as the other man turned around.

Gloriously naked, the Death Eater crawled back over Lucius. He slicked his palms with Lucius’ blood and stroked his cock with them. Lucius tried not to stare at James’ growing erection.

“Oh, this is going to be so sweet,” James groaned, thrusting against his own hand.

Lucius knew better than to fight when James pushed his knees toward his chest. In fact, he closed his eyes and tried to relax, to take James in. He tried to conjure pleasant images, of his times with Sirius, who had comforted him when Narcissa died. Gentle, loving, wonderful Sirius, who loved Draco as his own son. Handsome, kind Sirius, whose voice was welcoming and soothing and whose body was young and fresh. Intelligent, charming Sirius, whose gaze was heated and yet somehow innocent. Sirius would never hurt him, not even in play. Sirius loved him. And Lucius loved Sirius. Sirius would help the Order make sure James could never hurt anyone like this again.

Lucius bit back a cry when James thrust into him roughly. Oh, it hurt. Fuck yes. If Lucius hadn’t known better he would have guessed James was fucking him with the knife. But he didn’t want to give the Death Eater the satisfaction of hearing him scream. No matter what happened, he would bear it in silence.

“Lord Voldemort gave you to me,” James growled. “Payment for my loyalty, and punishment for your betrayal.”

Shut up. Please shut up. Just do it and kill me. Lucius eyes opened and he stared sightlessly at the ceiling as James kept talking. It would be so much easier to pretend this wasn’t happening if he would just be quiet. But he had to fucking narrate everything.

And finally the voice stopped, and James was coming, his hands digging into Lucius’ thighs, a snarl deep in his throat. Lucius almost sobbed with relief as the other man withdrew from his aching hole. James licked at Lucius’ blood and forced him into a kiss. Lucius gagged on the oppressive taste and James’ insistent tongue.

“Just like old times,” James murmured, grinning wickedly. Lucius looked away from him and spat to the side, trying to clear the blood from his mouth. “Well, not quite.” The Death Eater stood, rubbing Lucius’ blood over hidy. dy. There was a knock at the door.

James growled in frustration and flung the door open. “Come in, then,” he snarled.

Bellatrix sauntered in and settled herself on a plush couch. She inspected Lucius coolly. “Hello, Lucius,” she said. “Having fun?” Lucius could not even glare at her; he was sprawled, naked and bleeding, after all. And he was beginning to feel faint, probably from the loss of blood. The wound showed no sign of slowing.

“What do you want, Bella?” James asked. He walked into the bathroom and got a damp cloth to wipe some of the blood from his body. Bellatrix’s eyes never left Lucius’.

“His Lordship wants to see you,” she said.

“What, now?”

Bellatrix smiled cruelly. “Immediately.”

“Fine.” James pulled on his pants and went for the door. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked.

“Oh, but Jamesie,” she murmured. She stood and crossed to him, stroking his chest. “Can’t I play with him a little bit, before you kill him?”

It was obvious that Potter was warring with himself. He looked at Lucius and back to Bellatrix. “All right, you sick little bitch,” he said, smiling. “I’ll be back, and then maybe you and I can play, hmm?” He kissed her roughly, and then he was gone.

Lucius watched her as she crawled up his body. He fought his arousal as she stroked him. But there was no fighting Bella; she was masterful at this. She brought him to hardness and mounted him, not bothering to take off her clothes. Lucius groaned deeply.

“You like that,” she hissed.

“Not on your life,” he growled. Bella laughed. She bent her head towards his. Lucius saw at once his opportunity.

He leaned back into the pillows, and she followed, giggling as she tried to kiss him. “Don’t play so hard to get, Lucius,” she said. He flexed his stomach hard, ignoring the ripping pain from the wound on his chest. His forehead struck hers with a crack, sending Bellatrix sprawling. Lucius wriggled out from under her and seized the switchblade in his teeth, triggering the blade with his tongue. He had his hands free before Bella regained her senses; he brought his joined fists down on the back of her neck, dropping her instantly. For a brief instant he was tempted to do worse to her, his gaze drawn to the knife he’d left on the bed. But he was better than that. And besides, stopping to take a moment’s vengeance could cost him his life.

He searched the room for his clothes; no luck there. Lucius rummaged through the drawers until he found some robes of James’ that would cover him. He took Bella’s wand from her pocket and went into the bathroom. James’ shirt was plastered to his chest, soaked in blood. Lucius turned away from the mirror and to the window over the tub.

It was a tight squeeze, but he crawled out and dropped to the ground. As he leaned against the wall things started to darken, but he shook his head and it seemed to clear. He pressed the heel of his hand to his chest, biting back a cry of pain and hoping it would staunch the blood. Walking was painful, but he knew that the fire in his abused flesh was nothing compared to what awaited him if he stayed. He staggered off into the foggy London night. Even in his pain and delirium, he knew to stay out of the sight of Muggles; he contained his hysterical laughter at the thought of one coming across him like this.

The window frame creaked. Lucius dropped to the ground lightly, landing on the balls of his feet.

“Come on,” he hissed.

Narcissa giggled. “Lucius, you’re so bad,” she said.

“I’ll catch you.”

She lowered herself as far as she could and let go of the ledge; Lucius caught her easily and set her on her feet. It was only a short drop, after all.

“What if Bella wakes up? Or Mother and Father?”

Lucius shook his head. “If you stay quiet, they won’t,” he said. “Come on.” He took her hand and they ran quickly across the lawn of the Black mansion. Since their engagement was announced, every moment Lucius and Narcissa spent together was stiff and formal. At school they had been great friends, and hoped to recapture it before their wedding rings cut off the circulation to their personalities. He was the class clown and she the class brain, but somehow they had gotten on. Now they were to be married, and Lucius felt like as las losing his best friend.

They sat under the trees and Lucius took out a small box. “Do you remember this?” he asked, handing it to Narcissa. She looked at it and put her hand to her mouth.

“Oh, Lucius! I can’t believe you still have it!” She lifted the little garland of flowers out and held it up in the light. “You’ve cast a remarkable preservation spell…these flowers are from our first year at school.”

“You said it was the perfect way to celebrate the first day of spring,” he said, smiling. “And in a few minutes, it will be springtime.” He glanced at his pocket watch and she giggled. Then she paused.

“Oh, Lucius. I wish we weren’t getting married. It will ruin everything.” She sighed. He smiled, lifting the garland from her hands and settling it around her head, carefully tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

“No it won’t, ‘Cissa. We can still be friends.”

She looked at him and chewed her lip slightly. “But…we have to produce an heir.”

Lucius nodded, stroking her hand gently with his fingertips. The moon was quite bright above, and it lent her skin an otherworldly glow. Narcissa was a very beautiful young woman, and any pureblood lord would be proud to have her as a bride. Lucius lifted her hand to his lips. “We’ll manage,” he said.

“But Lucius, you’re a homosexual.” She said the word very scientifically, and spoke as though her friend might not be aware that he was attracted to men.

“We’ll manage,” he repeated, smiling slightly. “It will be terrible, but I think I can do it. How awful, to be forced to have sex with a beautiful woman, whou lou love with all your heart.”

Narcissa smiled. “Do you love me, Lucius?” she asked.

“You are my very best friend,” he told her, drawing her into a firm embrace. He could smell the preserved flowers in her hair. In eight days they would be married. Lucius wasn’t entirely certain how that would change things, but he knew it would.

Lucius wasn’t entirely certain how he got back to Grimmauld Place. He was weak and staggering from blood loss; the wound on his chest was shallow, but it was bleeding profusely. He couldn’t remember the day’s password. Sirius came to doo door and let him in, chastising the young witch who wouldn’t open the door. Lucius leaned on him gratefully as the other man took him into the dining room, where the makeshift infirmary had been set up. Sirius said nothing, but his lips were pressed into a hard line.

He had to cut the bloody fabric from Lucius’ chest, and wanted to examine his lover for further wounds. Lucius shook his head curtly, nodding at the door.

Lily lurked by the doorway, holding a bundle that Lucius could only assume was her son. Harry was a strangely quiet infant, almost as if he knew he was the product of a doomed affair. Lucius had seen it from the other side; at first he had laughed with James at the silliness of the little mudblood, thinking a pure wizard like James could really be interested in her. But then James took things too far, from flirting to false overtures of love. He seduced her mind while they were at Hogwarts, and then her body after they graduated. Lucius liked a good joke; this was not a good joke. When Evans had come sobbing to James that she was pregnant, he laughed at her. That had been the start of the schism between him and Lucius.

Now that he knew Lily, he could not imagine what he had ever thought was so fucking funny. Her eyes were disturbingly green as she looked at him. She did not ask the ques tha that Lucius knew was haunting her mind.

“He’s dead, Lily,” Lucius said. “Severus is dead.”

She nodded gravely. Her presence noted, she came into the kitchen. Sirius dressed Lucius’ wound neatly.

“Who did this to you?” Lily asked, sitting beside him. Lucius looked at the dark-haired infant in her arms. He could almost have been Severus’ child, and that was what they would have told him as he got older. Knowing Lily, she would still probably tell him that Snape was his father, and that he died honorably. Little Harry could be proud of a father like that, even if his real father was a murderer, a seducer, and a rapist. Lucius gently reached out to stroke the boy’s cheek with his finger. It was soft. The baby smacked his lips quietly. When Lucius touched his hand his chubby fingers wrapped around Lucius’, and his eyes grew very wide. He could not quite smile yet, in part because he was so fat, but his mouth curved slightly.

“James,” Lucius murmured, meeting Lily’s eyes. They widened slightly, and she looked away. He could hear her teeth grind for a moment. Then Harry made a sound and she turned her attention to him. James’ bastard, who had brought her so much pain and so much joy. She bounced him gently on her knee.

“What else did he do to you?” Sirius asked softly. Lucius closed his eyes.

“Let’s not speak of it.”

Sirius and Lily exchanged a concerned look. Sirius had known Lucius since they were kids, sneaking off from fancy dinner parties to play Exploding Snap, and Lily had quickly overcome his cool and impersonal public persona with her charm and intelligence. He was older than they were, and he was a former Slytherin where they were both Gryffindors. But they both loved him; he was Lily’s friend, and Sirius’ lover. Sirius nodded to Lily and she left the kitchen, leaving them alone.

“Are you going to be all right?” Sirius asked softly.

“He didn’t do much damage, besides the chest. I’m just sore, and tired, that’s all.” Lucius rubbed his wrists. “That’s all.” He drained the glass of water sitting on the table.

“I’m sorry this had to happen.”

Lucius leaned his head on Sirius’ stomach gently, sighing. Sirius stroked the tangled blond hair and Lucius’ hands tightened on the backs of his thighs.

“Where’s Draco?” Lucius asked, straightening. “I want to see him.”

“Upstairs. He was asleep.” Lucius nodded. “I’ll go get him for you.” Sirius left him there and sprinted up the creaking staircase.

Draco was just waking up as Lucius took him in his arms. He was some months older than Lily’s son, and like Harry he looked a great deal like his father. Big, sleepy blue eyes blinked up at Lucius and he felt tears sting his eyes. Draco smiled and reached for his father, his fat little hands touching Lucius’ face. He was an attractive child, charming and curious. A heartbreaker already, Lucius sometimes mused.

“Da,” Draco laughed. Lucius choked, holding Draco close to his chest. He smelled as babies always do, except when their nappies are soiled. Thankfully his wasn’t.

“He calls me ‘Boo’ sometimes,” Sirius murmured. “No idea why.”

Lucius smiled and set Draco on his knee, propping the infant against the table. He covered his eyes with his hands.

“Boo!” shouted Draco.

“Oh. That could have something to do with it.” Sirius looked sheepish. Then his expression grew serious. “I was worried you wouldn’t come back, Lucius,” he said softly.

“So was I.” Lucius kissed his son’s temple. Draco laughed. “I thought I might never see this little fellow again.” His eyes met Sirius’ and the words passed unspoken: I thought I might never see you again.

“He hurt you.”

“Time heals all things,” Lucius said, smiling sadly.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to…”

“No.” Lucius’ voice was stern. Draco looked up, suddenly silent. Daddy didn’t often talk like that. “You don’t need to see.”

“But you’re wounded,” Sirius said softly.

“How do you know?” Lucius asked, his tone falsely light.

Sirius smiled bitterly. “Because I remember the last time I saw you wince like that when you sat down.” He stood and tapped the plastic tubing that he’d run into Lucius’ arm. Sometimes even magic could not do more good than a simple intravenous drip.

“I will be fine,” Lucius insisted. “I’m more worried about Lily. I should go talk to her.”

“Lily’s a tough cookie.” Sirius shook his head. “And besides, I won’t allow it.” He crossed his arms and fixed Lucius with a serious gaze. “You’ve lost a lot of blood, lover. I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you to ‘go’ anywhere. The reason you feel so good is you’ve still got adrenaline flowing through your veins, plus a little painkiller I tossed into this drip. In about ten minutes, you’re going to start feeling like you’ll pass out. And then you probably will.”

Lucius rolled his eyes and tried to stand up. Three sensations struck him: pain, dizziness, and nausea. “Oh, wow,” he breathed. Sirius took Draco from him.

“Lie down and get some rest. Lily will still be here in the morning.” He looked at Draco. “I’ll take care of this little charmer.”

“Promise?” Lucius asked, smiling.

Sirius smiled fondly and bent to kiss his lover’s forehead. “I can hear it now. ‘Draco has two daddies, Mum. Why does Draco get two?’”

Why doesn’t Harry get any? Lucius thought bitterly. But he obediently swung his legs up and lay back. Before he could even think about going to sleep, he was gone.

“Man, you are gone,” Remus joked.

Lucius shook his head. “Siri…Sirius, next time you and your friends…” He paused, trying to collect his thoughts and make his thick tongue work. “…Decide to go drinking, don’t invite me.”

Sirius was grinning like an idiot. “You can’t handle your liquor at all, Lucius,” he said.

“I never could.” Lucius stopped, and for a moment they thought he might throw up.

“You should get some sleep,” Remus suggested.

“You’re gonna feel like you were run over by a bus in the morning,” warned Peter, giggling.

“Oh, Christ, I feel like I was run over by a bus.”

Alastor Moody smiled. “Good morning, Lucius,” he said cheerily. “Would you like some breakfast?”

Lucius shook his head; his insides were churning. He sat up and instantly regretted it as his chest and certain, more delicate, portions of his anatomy screamed in protest. The grogginess and the nausea were probably from the painkillers, he thought idly.

“Have a glass of milk. It’ll make your guts settle.”

He took the glass gratefully, even though he had never been overly fond of milk. As it was, the cool liquid felt rather soothing to his parched throat.

“Where’s Sirius?” he asked.

“Went for a walk.” Alastor settled himself in a chair. “He likes to go out on the lead. A little strange, if you ask me.” Lucius knew perfectly well how much Sirius liked the leash and collar--and not always in his Animagus form. He smiled to himself, hiding it behind the rim of his glass. “That’s a nasty wound you’ve got there.”

Lucius looked down at his chest, almost as if he’d forgotten. “James Potter tried to carve my tattoo out of my flesh. I suppose I won’t know how successful he was until it heals.”

“When the team gets back from Romania, you should have Pomfrey whip up one of her spells and take care of it.”

“I’ll be sure to have her look at it. He just used a knife, so it should be pretty straightforward.” Lucius finished the glass and Alastor took it back into the kitchen.

“Sure you won’t eat something?”

Lucius focused on the sensations from his stomach and pursed his lips. “Something light wouldn’t hurt, I suppose.”

“That’s a good lad,” Alastor said wi smi smile. He helped Lucius up and into the kitchen.

By the time Sirius returned, Lucius was up and about on his own, helping Molly with the laundry. He’d sought out Lily only to find her gone, running an errand for Dumbledore. Molly had shanghaied him to help with the chores when she found him wandering.

“You were supposed to rest,” Sirius chided.

“I did.” Lucius bent to kiss him. Molly smiled fondly and carried the empty laundry basket out of the room. “You slipped a healing potion into my drip.”

“How do you know?” Sirius asked defensively. Lucius was not a fan of potions. It had always amused Severus that his friend was so stoically against them. Sirius lifted the bandage on his chest and could see healthy new skin covering the parts James had scraped away. Lucius smiled slightly and Sirius grinned in relief. “How are you?”

Lucius put his hands on Sirius’ waist. “I’m better, Puppy.”

Sirius hummed and rested his cheek on Lucius’ shoulder. “I’m glad,” he whispered.

“I’m so glad you’re safe,” Narcissa whispered, kissing Lucius’ cheek as he held her tightly.

“I promised I would come back.” He pulled back, smiling down at her teary blue eyes. “I couldn’t leave you and Draco, now could I?”

She smiled, but the tears still threatened. “Please don’t go on any more of those missions,” she begged.

Lucius kissed her forehead. “I can’t just sit idly by,” he murmured. “People are risking their lives for us. The least I can do is fight alongside them.”

Narcissa nodded. She understood his sentiments, and even some of his motivations, but still could not shake the terrible feeling that something very bad was going to happen. “I love you,” she said.

“And I love you,” he said, smiling.

“I love you,” Lily whispered, burying herself in one of Severus’ robes. “Oh, god, I love you.” She had returned to their empty room and it seemed more than she could bear. The black robe smelled of him. Severus always smelled slightly of the Potions classroom at school, a mixture of pleasant and acrid odors. Lily did not mind. She and Severus had never been close in school, but had been brought together by a common hatred of James Potter. That camaraderie had developed over the months. They had hoped to be married, when all this was over, and to raise Harry together as their son.

“I am sorry to intrude.”

She looked up to see Lucius framed in the doorway. He must have heard she was home.

“No, please come in,” she murmured, wiping her eyes with the sleeve of Severus’ robe.

Lucius closed the door and sat down beside her. “I was wondering if you wanted to talk about Sevvie,” he said softly.

Lily smiled at the nickname. “Actually, Lucius, I would like it very much if you would just sit with me.” He nodded and she curled up against his side. The sleeves of Severus’ robe puddled around her hands, as though she were a child in a grown-up’s clothes.

James’ robe puddled around his hands; he and Lucius hadn’t bothered to fully remove the last article of clothing. He smiled up at his lover saucily.

“The safeword can’t be ‘more,’ James,” Lucius laughed. “Pick something else. Something you can remember in case I hurt you.”

The younger man scoffed. “I don’t see why we need one anyway, Lucius. You won’t hurt me more than I want you to.”

“I’d rather be safe than sorry,” Lucius said.

“Fine.” James thought for a moment, lips pursed. “How about ‘quill’?”

Lucius raised an eyebrow. “Alright, if that’s what you want.” He shrugged slightly and rolled James over with one rough movement to take the robe off. James grinned and allowed himself to be bound with the fine leather straps they’d bought, almost on a whim, in the fascinating little sex shop in Knockturn Alley. “Don’t hesitate to tell me if you need me to stop,” he warned.

“Yeah, whatever. Come on, I want to fuck.” James looked at him, smirking.

“Patience,” Lucius murmured.

“We must have patience,” Dumbledore said softly. “Rome was not built in a day.”

Sirius contained his anger admirably. “But you know I’m right.”

Dumbledore sighed. “I’m afraid so, Sirius.” He stood, and the younger wizard said nothing as he left. Sirius got up and went to his room.

“Hey, Puppy.” Lucius came in. “Molly and I made soup. You want some?” He offered a steaming bowl, covered by a perfect lid made of crusty bread for dipping. Sirius took it and Lucius sat down beside him.

“Did you talk to Lily?” Sirius asked, his mouth full. Lucius smiled fondly at him.

“No. We just sat there. I think that’s all she needed.” He watched Sirius eat and then set the bowl aside. Lucius cocked his head to kiss his lover gently. “I love you,” he murmured.

“I love you too.” Sirius’ hands wound their way into Lucius’ hair.

As their touching progressed, Sirius nipped gently at the side of Lucius’ neck. Lucius made a noise and jerked away.

“I’m sorry,” Sirius said frantically. “Oh, god, I’m sorry.”

Lucius grabbed his lover’s wrists in his hands and looked him in the eye. “It’s not your fault,” he insisted. He kissed each of Sirius’ hands. “I just don’t think I’m ready for this.”

Sirius nodded. “It’s too soon, I understand,” he said. He stood and took his bowl back downstairs. Lucius lay on his side on the bed, staring at the wall. Footsteps announced Sirius’ return. The other wizard paused to check on Draco in the next room, who was down for the evening. He slept through the night most nights. Then Sirius slipped out of his shoes and curled up gently behind Lucius. The older wizard closed his eyes to fight the unbidden memories from resurging. This was Sirius, who loved him. He took hold of Sirius’ hand, which rested on his hip.

“Goodnight, Puppy,” he whispered.

“Goodnight.”