Not My Gumdrop Buttons!
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
3,644
Reviews:
14
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
3,644
Reviews:
14
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Not My Gumdrop Buttons!
Disclaimer: Hermione Granger, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, and Harry Potter in no way, shape, or form belong to me. They and the Harry Potter Universe are all property of the talented JK Rowling. Seriously, if Severus Snape belonged to me, do you think I’d be sitting in front of a computer right now?
A/N: My friend Greg dared me to write the most awful porn story ever. So I did. See if you can figure out what three objects he made me put in it.
~_~_~_~_~
“Oo!” squealed Hermione.
Severus was so surprised by this utterance that he momentarily paused his thrusting and looked down at the back of his student lover. “Was... was that pleasurable? Should I do it again?” He began eagerly thrusting again, plunging in and out of her damp depths.
“What?” Hermione looked back over shoulder at the man having sex with her. “Oh, no, there’s a sale at Flourish and Blotts next weekend.”
Instantly deflated, Severus stopped, pulled out, and flopped down on the bed. “Must you really read the newspaper while we’re having sex?” When he didn’t get an answer, he flipped over and began looking at the next page of the Prophet.
After several minutes of silence, Hermione looked over at Severus and started. “Oh! Did you finish?” She looked back down at her paper as his face fell and he let out a strangled sob.
“What happened?” he cried, getting on his knees and flipping Hermione over onto her back. When she tutted in indignation and tried to reach for her newspaper again, he tore it away and threw it into the fire. “Remember when sex used to be fun? Now you sit and read the paper and have to ask me if I’ve finished.”
Hermione looked torn between speaking and holding her tongue. Finally she spoke. “It’s boring!”
“Boring?!” Severus cried. “Boring?!”
“Yes, boring. I show up, you strip me, we lie down, insert, thrust, repeat. It’s no fun anymore.”
Severus sat down heavily on the bed, feeling as though his balls had just retracted up into his chest cavity. “What do you suggest?”
“Umm...” Hermione thought back to what Parvati and Lavender were prattling on about last night. “We could... We could act out each other’s fantasies?”
“Brilliant!” Severus jumped up. “We’ll start next week.”
~_~_~_~_~
“You want me to stick this... where?” Hermione looked dubiously at the proffered licorice wand.
“In your cooch,” patiently explained Severus for the third time. “Then I can masturbate you with it and eat it when we’re done.”
Hermione quirked an eyebrow. “Eww.”
“You’re the one who said we should act out our fantasies! Now, put this on.”
“What is it?” she asked in barely concealed dismay. It appeared to be three belts tied together with pieces of candy stuck all over it.”
“It’s a vest!”
“And the candy?”
“To sweeten up the evening!” Severus laughed at his own joke, as Hermione tried not to turn around and run out of the room screaming. “See? The gumdrops are the buttons. Now, lie down on the bed and use the licorice.”
Hermione, clad in her vest-with-gumdrop-buttons, did as asked and lay down. As Severus watched she took the licorice wand and inserted it into herself. Severus then jumped onto the bed, took hold of the licorice wand, and began moving in and out of Hermione, occasionally twirling it around.
“How does that feel?”
“It’s sticky.” She wrinkled her nose.
“But does it make you hot? Are you horny? Do you want it?”
“It’s sticky.”
Severus thrust in and out for a few more minutes, occasionally leaning over and eating a gumdrop button from the vicinity of Hermione’s nipples and leering at her as he chewed on it. Finally he withdrew the licorice and, after making sure that Hermione hadn’t fallen asleep, chomped down on the end of it.
“Was that good for you?” he asked, spraying bits of licorice into her hair. “Are you ready for it? Do you want it?”
“Oh, yeah,” she lied, sounding as if she’d just spent two hours in Professor Binns’ class. “I want it sooo bad.”
Gleefully Severus climbed up and buried himself inside her. “Just wait until you see what I have planned for next week!”
Hermione tried not to groan.
~_~_~_~_~
Severus breathed harder as Hermione moved her hand up and down his cock.
“Are you almost done?” she asked. “My hand is starting to cramp up.”
“Almost there,” he panted. “Just a little bit more... Now, hold up the snifter!”
“The... The what?”
“The brandy snifter?”
“Why?”
“Target practice!”
“What?!”
“Target practice.”
“Why?”
“It’s a fantasy of mine. To come into a brandy snifter and then watch you drink it. It’s called bukkake.”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
~_~_~_~_~
Hermione walked into Severus’ chambers, only to stop in shock. “Severus, what the fuck are you wearing? And what’s that on your arm?”
Severus was clad from head to toe in what looked like the leftovers from a Star Trek convention. A giant helmet adorned his head, various sizes and colors of tubing covered his legs and torso, and he had on his arm something that looked like a tentacle with spikes and a motor and chains.
“I am Severus of Borg, and I will assimilate you with my Cyberkinetic Chainsaw!”
Hermione threw up her arms in despair, turned around, and walked out of the room.
fin
A/N: My friend Greg dared me to write the most awful porn story ever. So I did. See if you can figure out what three objects he made me put in it.
~_~_~_~_~
“Oo!” squealed Hermione.
Severus was so surprised by this utterance that he momentarily paused his thrusting and looked down at the back of his student lover. “Was... was that pleasurable? Should I do it again?” He began eagerly thrusting again, plunging in and out of her damp depths.
“What?” Hermione looked back over shoulder at the man having sex with her. “Oh, no, there’s a sale at Flourish and Blotts next weekend.”
Instantly deflated, Severus stopped, pulled out, and flopped down on the bed. “Must you really read the newspaper while we’re having sex?” When he didn’t get an answer, he flipped over and began looking at the next page of the Prophet.
After several minutes of silence, Hermione looked over at Severus and started. “Oh! Did you finish?” She looked back down at her paper as his face fell and he let out a strangled sob.
“What happened?” he cried, getting on his knees and flipping Hermione over onto her back. When she tutted in indignation and tried to reach for her newspaper again, he tore it away and threw it into the fire. “Remember when sex used to be fun? Now you sit and read the paper and have to ask me if I’ve finished.”
Hermione looked torn between speaking and holding her tongue. Finally she spoke. “It’s boring!”
“Boring?!” Severus cried. “Boring?!”
“Yes, boring. I show up, you strip me, we lie down, insert, thrust, repeat. It’s no fun anymore.”
Severus sat down heavily on the bed, feeling as though his balls had just retracted up into his chest cavity. “What do you suggest?”
“Umm...” Hermione thought back to what Parvati and Lavender were prattling on about last night. “We could... We could act out each other’s fantasies?”
“Brilliant!” Severus jumped up. “We’ll start next week.”
~_~_~_~_~
“You want me to stick this... where?” Hermione looked dubiously at the proffered licorice wand.
“In your cooch,” patiently explained Severus for the third time. “Then I can masturbate you with it and eat it when we’re done.”
Hermione quirked an eyebrow. “Eww.”
“You’re the one who said we should act out our fantasies! Now, put this on.”
“What is it?” she asked in barely concealed dismay. It appeared to be three belts tied together with pieces of candy stuck all over it.”
“It’s a vest!”
“And the candy?”
“To sweeten up the evening!” Severus laughed at his own joke, as Hermione tried not to turn around and run out of the room screaming. “See? The gumdrops are the buttons. Now, lie down on the bed and use the licorice.”
Hermione, clad in her vest-with-gumdrop-buttons, did as asked and lay down. As Severus watched she took the licorice wand and inserted it into herself. Severus then jumped onto the bed, took hold of the licorice wand, and began moving in and out of Hermione, occasionally twirling it around.
“How does that feel?”
“It’s sticky.” She wrinkled her nose.
“But does it make you hot? Are you horny? Do you want it?”
“It’s sticky.”
Severus thrust in and out for a few more minutes, occasionally leaning over and eating a gumdrop button from the vicinity of Hermione’s nipples and leering at her as he chewed on it. Finally he withdrew the licorice and, after making sure that Hermione hadn’t fallen asleep, chomped down on the end of it.
“Was that good for you?” he asked, spraying bits of licorice into her hair. “Are you ready for it? Do you want it?”
“Oh, yeah,” she lied, sounding as if she’d just spent two hours in Professor Binns’ class. “I want it sooo bad.”
Gleefully Severus climbed up and buried himself inside her. “Just wait until you see what I have planned for next week!”
Hermione tried not to groan.
~_~_~_~_~
Severus breathed harder as Hermione moved her hand up and down his cock.
“Are you almost done?” she asked. “My hand is starting to cramp up.”
“Almost there,” he panted. “Just a little bit more... Now, hold up the snifter!”
“The... The what?”
“The brandy snifter?”
“Why?”
“Target practice!”
“What?!”
“Target practice.”
“Why?”
“It’s a fantasy of mine. To come into a brandy snifter and then watch you drink it. It’s called bukkake.”
“What did I do to deserve this?”
~_~_~_~_~
Hermione walked into Severus’ chambers, only to stop in shock. “Severus, what the fuck are you wearing? And what’s that on your arm?”
Severus was clad from head to toe in what looked like the leftovers from a Star Trek convention. A giant helmet adorned his head, various sizes and colors of tubing covered his legs and torso, and he had on his arm something that looked like a tentacle with spikes and a motor and chains.
“I am Severus of Borg, and I will assimilate you with my Cyberkinetic Chainsaw!”
Hermione threw up her arms in despair, turned around, and walked out of the room.
fin