Cosmopolitan

This is my response to the wiktt Drunks Challenge, issued by the lovely emperors_sis. I had tons of help from etherealizabeth. She wrote the whole lemon for me! I owe her eternally! I will list the types of drunks I used at the bottom of the story in the postscript. Enjoy!

Hermione stared at the drink in front of her. She downed the last of it and gestured to the bartender to refill. What she was doing at this party, she would never understand. Sure, it was her ten-year reunion, but did didn’t mean she should be drowning her loneliness in Cosmopolitans. She sucked the juice out of the lime on the edge of her new glass and took a sip. She glanced around the room at her friends and coworkers. It had been eight years since Dumbledore had asked Hermione to teach Muggle Studies at Hogwarts. She had accepted, having nothing better to do, and hadn’t regretted it until now. Almost her entire graduating class was on the dance-floor of the wizard club that they had rented out. Even most of her professors were at the party, most sitting at tables along the edge of a balcony overhead.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” a sulky voice said beside her. Hermione turned to see her sulky colleague, Severus Snape. He chugged half of his Cosmopolitan upon receiving it.

“Having fun?” Hermione asked sarcastically. Severus snorted and took another long sip of his drink. It had been quite some time since the two had been in a bar together. Hermione was sure that Severus had meant for it to be that way. She had inwardly wished they would never ‘enjoy’ each other’s drunken company again, but she obviously had no choice at the moment. Hermione watched as her drinking buddy finished off his drink and gladly accepted another. The two sat in silence for three more drinks each.

“I hate reunions,” he said gruffly, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, “Look at those dunderheads dancing,” Hermione turned to look at her ex-classmates on the dance floor. Harry was sloshing his drink as he danced with an unfamiliar blonde, and Lavender was dragging Ron, who was looking quite green in the face, about the floor. Ginny was pressed against Draco, who was rolling his eyes and taking sips from a bottle of water. He was no doubt the designated driver and the only sober person in the room, so he had to put up with Ginny’s groping until she passed out. Luckily, it looked as if that would be quite soon.

“Another, please,” Hermione said, after taking one last gulp of her drink and slamming the glass on the counter, “You realize we’re probably the only ones not enjoying ourselves, don’t you?” Severus nodded and took another gulp of his Cosmopolitan.

“Who cares, at least we’re not making fools of ourselves and throwing ourselves against each other,” he drawled, “What an idiotic excuse for dancing,” I suI suppose you know how it’s really done, eh Severus?” Hermione laughed, sucking on her lime. Severus narrowed his eyes at her and squirted lime juice at her.

“Ouch, my eye, Severus,” Hermione said, rubbing her eye in pain, “You bastard, you got it in my eye. You did this last time too,”

“Oh, come one, you’ll be fine. We’ll just go flush it with some water,” Severus downed the rest of his drink and the pair staggered to the restrooms. Severus led Hermione into the ladies’ room and wet a paper towel.

“I am perfectly capable of doing this by myself,” Hermione growled, one hand covering her left eye, and the other gripping onto a sink for support. The room spun in her drunkenness, making her balance terrible. Severus shook his head and pulled her hand away from her eye and dabbed it with the towel.

“There, all better,” he said. Hermione blinked at him and smiled slightly.

“Works every time,” she said, “You know, we really shouldn’t get drunk together anymore. It’s really bad for our health,”

Severus said nothing, but instead stared at the woman in front of him for a moment. The last time they had gotten drunk had been at least seven years ago. It had been after the defeat of the Dark Lord and everyone had gathered at the school to celebrate. Hermione smiled lightly as she remembered everything that had happened that night.

“What are you smiling at?” Severus asked, turning unsteadily to one of the ladies room stalls.

“I was just remembering the last time we were drunk together,” she smirked. Severus chuckled, steadying himself with one hand against the wall. He had not bothered closing the door as he relieved himself, “Must you always piss with the door open?” Hermione giggled.

“If I remember correctly, we were having the same drink as we are tonight,” Severus said, forgetting to zip his trousers before turning to face the girl at the sink, “It was a rather…eventful night, wasn’t it?”

“If you can call it that. You only lasted two minutes,” Hermione crossed her arms, still smirking at her former professor. Severus blushed a bit and staggered over to her. She had perched herself on the sink.

“I remember, after I got lime in your eye, we went into the girls’ room to get it out,” he said, his speech somewhat slurred, “We were both completely sloshed,” The tall man leaned against the sink, one hand on either side of Hermione. She could smell the alcohol on his breath as he went on.

“I somehow got you into my rooms, probably bribing you with my stash of brandy, but we never did get around to drinking it,” he said huskily. The room spun a bit as Hermione looked into Severus’ eyes, “Thank Merlin you had graduated already,”

Hermione stared contently at the man in front of her before pressing her lips against his roughly. She slid off of the sink, pushing Severus to the floor. He cried out as his head hit the tile, but it didn’t phase him.

As she looked at him laying underneath her, she realized that this was not where she wanted to be. She wanted to be in the comfort of her own rooms and sober. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy his company - far from it - but she didn’t enjoy anyone’s company drunk.

She quickly pulled out her wand and pointed at Severus who looked startled, and tried to say, “Disinebriatus” but stuttered so badly on the word that it had no effect. She was about to try again when Snape grabbed her hand and said, “No. Let’s not risk that. You could say something to get us both killed.” He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a vial. “It’s Canis Follicularis. Take a sip and you’ll feel much better.”

Hermione obediently took the vial and sipped and sputtered at the taste. But, barring that, she felt the effects almost immediately and handed it back to him. Snape took the vial from her and downed the rest of it. Thinking of her original plan, Hermione grabbed Snape’s hand and apparated them into the field at the edge of Hogwart’s gates.

When she opened her eyes, she smiled and said, “You know, for an ex-Death Eater, you’re awfully careless about whom you trust. I could have apparated you into the armpit of England.”
Snape looked at her a long minute before pulling her mouth down onto his. He frankly didn’t feel he owed her an explanation for whom he trusted, not to mention the fact that she hadn’t really given him any time to protest before sending them off. He thought it almost would have been kinder to apparate him into whatever was presently considered the “armpit of England” than to tease him this way and make him wonder if he would have the chance to hold her again. Seven years was an awfully long time to wonder.

Snape looked up at the sky and led Hermione down the path to Hogwarts. As they approached the lake, he guided her to a soft grassy area and pulled out his wand. He transfigured his jacket into a large quilt and said quietly, “There’s a full moon tonight. Would you like to stay here for awhile and look at it?”
Hermione felt the warm June breeze float over her shoulders and suddenly thought that every plan needed to be revised at some point. She wondered if Severus had some inner romantic that she had neglected to notice. Or it could be that he simply needed to get laid and thought this was the best way to do it, she amended dryly.

“Yes, Severus, I’ll look at the moon with you.”

Snape sighed inwardly with relief and led her over to the quilt and laid her down. He reached down and removed her heels and then his own shoes. He slipped down beside her, raising her up just enough to put his arm under her head. This was heaven. Surely, it didn’t get any better than this.
Hermione turned her head to look at Severus, who was looking at her with rapt eyes. She smiled gently and leaned up to kiss him.

Snape corrected his last thought; it did indeed get better than this.

Hermione deepened the kiss and rolled over so that she was lying on his chest. She paused to look at him. She had never seen him this way before. His raven colored hair was splayed beneath him. His eyes held a familiar glitter, but he looked uncertain, giddy, almost virginal, which she could attest that he definitely was not. She bit her lip. Perhaps she was reading more into this than there was, but somehow she thought that Severus needed reassurance that she did indeed want him. She wanted him much more than she was allowing herself to think about right now. There would be time enough for regrets later. She didn’t want to allow what heartache she would feel later to ruin the sensations she felt now. She guided his hand up the buttons on her dress. She would put him in control - if that didn’t give him reassurance then nothing else would.

Snape was watching Hermione watching him with dread in his heart. This was it; she was done. She was analyzing him and finding him lacking. She had stopped kissing him, so something was amiss.
He caught his breath and almost cried when she brought his hand up to the buttons on her dress. He looked up at her and when he saw her nod, began to fiddle with the buttons until he revealed a navy lace bra, matching her dress. He stopped to run his hands over the bra, but she held his hands in check and moved them back to the buttons. He made quick work of the rest of them and gently slid the dress off of her arms. She sat there in the navy lace bra, a matching thong and ecru thigh highs.

He ran his hands over her soft skin and the lace of her undergarments, wanting nothing more than for this to last forever. She seemed to be waiting for him to make the next move, so he cautiously reached around and unclasped her bra, freeing her breasts. It was more than he could take. He pulled her down and began rapidly licking one breast and holding the other. It wasn’t until she gasped that he realized that he might be going too fast. He looked up at her. She was staring down at him with an intensity that was almost frightening.

He pushed her up until she was standing. He stood up also and whispered what he hoped didn’t sound like a line, “I thought you said you couldn’t do wandless magic.”

“I can’t.”

“Then please explain to me how you’ve got me under this spell. I cannot think of anything but you.”
Hermione smiled at him and deftly undid the buttons on his white dress shirt and moved on to his trousers. He stepped out of them carefully and shrugged off his socks.

“Suddenly I feel overdressed,” Hermione laughed.

In answer, Snape sat on his knees and gently peeled away her underwear and with trembling hands rolled down her hose, which she managed to step out of before he clasped her buttocks and pulled her into his face. He inhaled the scent of woman and something uniquely Hermione. He sent up a quick prayer, Oh God, let me please her, and kissed the inside of thighs. He moved up to her mound and parted her folds. He didn’t want to stimulate her too quickly. He wanted to make this last as long as he could. Instead, he traced his tongue around her entrance and then entered her slowly. He could taste her more clearly now and it occurred to him that her taste was addictive. He pressed two fingers inside of her and curved his tongue to fit the center of her flower. He sucked gently, letting his tongue match the rhythm of his fingers. She was breathing sharply now and her hands were in his hair. He sucked with a little more pressure and soon her taste was flooding his mouth as she came in mews. It was a beautiful sound.

Hermione was trying her best not to fall off the edge of the world. She wondered briefly where he had learnt that trick with his tongue before she found herself at his mercy. She could feel her love for him swell in her chest, but could not bring herself to say it. Instead, she pulled him as close to her as she could. She would store this memory in a pensieve so that she could relive this again and again.
Without letting her go, Snape brought himself to his feet and caught her when her knees betrayed her. He stared, trying to memorize her face. Her curere ere wild, her pupils were dilated, her mouth slightly open. She had the look of sex. It was pure, unadulterated and uplifting. He was nearly overcome in his emotions.

He laid her gently back on the quilt and laid on his back. He pulled her on top of him and said quietly, “Move for me, Hermione. Look at nothing else but me. Please.”

She nodded and positioned herself so that she rested on top of his erection. She rubbed herself against him, reveling in the sensations mov movements were evoking. She raised up enough to allow him entry and gasped as he filled her. She had forgotten how complete he made her feel. It was only briefly during their last encounter, but there are some things that the body doesn’t forget. He placed his hands on her breasts and kneaded his fingers in her to remind her to move. She complied and found a rhythm quickly. She didn’t plunge, but rocked in a motion that made him see stars. He gasped as her muscles clenched him and rolled over him again and again. He hadn’t thought it was possible, but they actually became tighter - almost like a vice - as she arched back and took her pleasure. He spasmed only seconds later and gave himself the final delight of letting his seed spill into her. He had no idea if she had taken any precautions and found that he rather hoped she hadn’t.

She rolled off of him and said, “I feel like washing up a bit. Do you fancy a dip?”

He grinned and nodded. As they rose, she grabbed his hand and ran into the water. She laughed as he sputtered.

“Not used to water in your eyes, Severus?” She asked coyly.

“Ah, yes. What is it that I hear about payback?” He returned.

She laughed harder and splashed him more. He surprised her by drawing her closer and said,

“Beloved of the rivers, beset
by azure water and transparent drops,
like a tree of veins your spectre
of dark goddess biting apples:
and then awakening naked
to be tattooed by the rivers,
and in the wet heights your head
filled the world with new dew.”

She regarded him for a moment and finished the piece

“Water rose to your waist,
You are made of wellsprings
and lakes shone on your forehead.
From your sources of density you drew
water like vital tears
and hauled the river-beds to the sand across the planetary night,
crossing rough, dilated stone,
breaking down on the way
all the salt of geology,
cutting through forests of compact walls
dislodging the muscles of quartz.”

He kissed her and led her back up the bank. After transfiguring their clothes to plain black robes, they made their way up the castle. Hermione felt a bit naughty, knowing that she was naked beneath her robe, but Snape seemed in his element. When they got to the castle door, Hermione took his hand and said, "We should do this again, very soon,"



Thanks again to etherealizabeth for writing my lemon for me. She asked me to explain a few things for you: The poem Severus and Hermione are reciting is named Entrance of the Rivers, written by Pablo Naruda. Also, canis follicularis actually does exist. It's the hair of a dog and it actually does work quite well on getting rid of a drunken stupor. Thanks again, Elizabeth!

Postscript: My types of drunks are as follows-

Sloppy drunk: Harry Potter
Sick drunk: Ron Weasley
Affectionate Drunk: Ginny Weasley
Sad (and then frisky lol) drunks: Hermione Granger and Severus Snape
Stone sober: Draco Malfoy (poor guy)