Break Me

Fic: Break Me
Rating: NC-17
Author: xenelle
Email: xenelle@yahoo.com
Journal: http://www.greatestjournal.com/users/xenelle/; http://www.livejournal.com/users/xenelle/;
Pairing: SS/LM mentions of LM/NM
Disclaimer: Don’t Own either characters or song Break me, shake me by Savage Garden. Do own any OOC-ness.
Warnings: Contains graphic consensual sex between two men. Mind fucking.
A/N: Contains two teenagers having underage sex Severus 15 and Lucius 17/18; Many thanks to Akasha and Kimberlyivens as my betas without them this would be a scary thing to read indeed

Break Me

I never thought I'd change my opinion again
But you moved me in a way that I’ve never known
You moved me in a way that I’ve never known
But straight away you just moved into position again
You abused me in a way that I’ve never known
You abused me in a way that I’ve never known

I was slammed against the wall before I could even get my bearings. Severus’s mouth was attacking mine with a vengeance. My hands started fumbling with his pants, robes long since removed as an annoying barrier to skin. I was only able to get the first button undone before he situated his leg between mine and started moving it. My mouth moved away as I groaned at the friction. His mouth attached itself to my neck and my brain melted.

Severus chuckled low and deep at this; he smiled against my neck and started propelling me towards his bedroom removing my top along the way. My legs hit the bed and he pushed me down onto it. Moments later he had crawled on top of me and was attacking my chest with his mouth. Next thing I knew, my hands were caught in one of his and his mouth had attached to my nipple. I groaned again, hips bucking to get friction. He moved down until he was sitting across my hips trapping my arousal against his arse.

“Not yet Lucius,” he admonished and went back to marking my chest. When he thought the chest was marked enough, he let my arms go and gestured that I get up.

“Strip.” He ordered, and I did, sliding off my shoes, and pants; I looked at the younger man as he appraised me, still dressed. I moved towards him wanting to remove his clothes, put us on the same level, see his pale silky skin, touch that skin with my mouth and hands. He stopped me and pushed me back onto the bed, kissing me. His hands roved over my body sending my mind aflame.

My lover moved to lie on top of me and then began to grind his hips in the most sensual of ways. I moaned my approval and started thrusting up to meet him, feeling the heat of his mouth on me. Wanting more, Severus worked his mouth lower; my groan of protest became one of appreciation and my hands clutched to hiouldoulders. He chuckled and the puffs of breath ghosted over my skin. He lowered his head to my thick cock and my hands filter through his hair holding him in place. I thrust into his mouth uncontrollably; his hands went to my hips, holding them still. His tongue and mouth worked me skilfully and I was nearing the edge before I realized it. Severus moved away and I cried out at the loss.

He pulled his wand out from its sheath and aimed it at my arse; he muttered the preparation and lubrication charms and positioned himself. With careful expertise, he breached me and aimed exactly right. He started moving in me and I bit my lip to stop the words from spilling out.

I can’t say what I feel, how I feel when he is inside of me. If I do I am his and he wins,

He can’t know.

He started to stroke me with a talented hand and, my hips bucked up to meet it, as pleasure coursed through my body.

“More,” I say losing the control I so desperately strive to maintain, “Sev…rus please.” Hands grasped his back, nails digging into him. The thrusts were off rhythm, his orgasm close. He was murmuring under his breath; I strive to hear them, but he was too quiet. My voice wasn’t as soft, he could hear what I said, “Severus, yes, there, there, don’t stop, gods, never stop, Severus, love you!”

I cried out as I came, Severus tumbling over after. He pulled out of me and I flinched at the emptiness that follows, I looked at him warily and saw the blankness in his eyes. I got dressed and returned to my dorm.

So break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
Just break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

The OWLS came along for Severus and things had cooled down a bit between us since that night. Then it happened. Severus was upside down in the air, it seemed like the entire school was there laughing at him. Our eyes met and he blushed. He never did like feeling vulnerable and exposed. He hated his body, and now it was out in the open for everyone to see, and they laughed at it. Lily Evans arrived and put a stop to it, I didn’t know whether to thank her or hit her.

Part of me felt triumph in this act; seeing him brought low, as he has brought me low – Lucius Malfoy fucked by some two-bit fifth year. I was Head Boy, I should be the one to do the fucking, like I had with Narcissa Black; how dare he make me love him. The other part felt sympathy: he really isn’t rich, is he? I thought, eyeing his underwear.

Then he was on the ground, spitting insults at Lily Evans.

He strode off, dignity intact. That night, he came into my room and fucked me harder than before, all the while spitting insults about that Mudblood Evans and how he wanted to pay her back for humiliating him.

I took him to my Master and watched as he got on his knees for him and prostrated himself like any other Death Eater. He didn’t scream as the Mark burned into his flesh.

So you're the kind who deals with the games in the mind
Well you confuse me in a way that I’ve never known
You confuse me in a way that I’ve never known

Three Years later

Our formerly public affair became an actual affair. I was committing adultery; according to Severus, Christians and Muggles call this a sin. I simply called it a problem; I might have married him if he had asked me, and if men could have children.

Narcissa doesn’t love me, I think. She loves my money, power, beliefs, possibly even my body, but not me. I love Severus, and he has been refreshingly possessive of me lately. We’ve been seeing more of each other now than ever before. He practically lives here. When we’re not here we are in our Master’s presence, or doing his work. Severus is spying on Dumbledore, he by working at our old school teaching potions, I thought it would be ironic if he taught DaDA, he said he tried for that position but Albus wouldn’t allow it. Severus calls him Albus, sometimes it seems like he reveres that man.

We made love on my wedding night. He touched me like I was a precious jewel. He prepared me with his fingers and tongue, making sure that I was completely ready for him, stretched and then he filled me fully. He waited until I adjusted to his presence inside me before taking long, languid strokes, pausing to kiss me and pet my body. His soft but strong hands smoothed along my chest, legs, arms, face.

All of it felt beautiful now, like I was something he owned; when he started stroking my cock I came and couldn’t hold back from crying. Gently my tears were wiped away and kissed my mouth. Then he told me to clean up and go to my wife.

Now when he sees me he fucks me, while biting and marking me in places she and anyone else can see. Some I leave, others I heal. I want to be marked by him. He asks me how my wife is, if she has had me today. If I answer ‘yes’ he takes me harder than if I’d not been with my wife. He brutally thrusts into me with only enough preparation so that his cock doesn’t damage me. But it hurts. He tells me not heal it so that I can remember who I belong to; when I tell him that the pain isn’t how I remember my place, he turns away and leaves.

So break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone
Just break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

Three years later

We have a son! He is so gorgeous; we’ve named him Draco, after the Ancient Greek tyrant, the one who created Draconian Law.

I think Narcissa knows about Severus and me… it’d be difficult for her not to. We were openly dating in Hogwarts; there is no official account of us breaking up. Also, I spent so much time with him that I’m surprised she got pregnant in the first place.

She’s had to notice the marks; bite marks, scratches, evidence of nails, purplish patches of sucked skin sucking. There was never a time when I went unmarked. Even the Dark Lord hadn’t gotten inside me with his Mark like Severus got inside me. After my lover marked me, he sent me to her, like on my wedding night. Severus was the one that told me to reproduce. Not my father. Not my wife. Him.

Narcissa suggested Severus as godfather to our son, and Bellatrix as Draco’s godmother. I agreed.

I’m still not sure what I was thinking. It was probably his name; whenever I hear the name ‘Severus’ I instantly submit knowing I will agree to anything and anyone wielding his name. The Dark Lord has used this weakness from time to time, though he usually allows me the courtesy of having Severus come along on the same mission with me.

I hoped that Narcissa hadn’t notice the weakness. Not because any fear of how she could manipulate me by using it against me, but for the pain she might feel; we have a child now. I want to end it with Severus, but I can’t. He is like an addiction. The one I am going to feed tonight.

I went to Severus’s rooms at Hogwartsrcisrcissa and little Draco were still at St Mungo’s with post-birthing. The medical staff there needed to catalogue the child, train the mother and ensure that both mother and child are healthy before they can secure their release.

I knocked on his door. Portraits didn’t guard the teacher’s rooms, as they knew how to create their own wards. If portraits attended the private rooms then the students could actually communicate with their teachers after hours. Something that, whilst it would be nice for the brats, shouldn’t happen as staff might actually like to sleep. The students can reach their mentors during office hours, which is what classrooms and offices are for.

Severus answered. He stood there in the white shirt and black pants he that he wore under his robes. The shirt was unbuttoned to his chest showing a lovely triangle of skin. I licked my lips, subconsciously wanting to taste it. I stared at his chest, all words forgotten as my desire grew; I swayed on the spot, wanting to lick him and take him right now on this spot, but reminded myself that I cannot. One shouldn’t have sex in the doorway of a Hogwarts Professor’s rooms when school is in session and one is married.

He smirked and stepped inside. As if a leash was attached, the moment he moved away from me, I followed like a puppy.


I kissed him once the door was closed, pushed him against the back of the door and held him there, pouring my joy at being a father and my love of the man I was with into the kiss. Severus groaned and wound his arms around my body stoking my back and hair. Suddenly my back was slammed against the door and Severus was attacking my mouth with ferocity; I moaned in surrender, my hands went to his shoulders for support and I clung to him as I melted against the door.

I cried out at the loss of his tongue and mouth as he pulled away. I was stroking his hair and looking at his kiss swollen lips as they moved. I licked mine again and moved forward but something stopped me. I looked down; there were hands on my chest. I looked back up at the brunet, confused and he chuckled. I smiled at him brightly.

“I asked why you are here, Lucius,” he said. I wondered what he was talking about, decided that it didn’t matter, and moved to kiss him again. He stopped me; I whined like a child who had their favourite toy taken away. “Later. I expect you to give me an answer.”

What? I thought, right why am I here. Desperately I thought back to why I came to visit him.

“Narcissa had our child today,” the hands went away and he took a step back. I felt cold, I wanted to step forward but his face was unreadable I looked into his eyes and flinched. “We want you to be the godfather.” His eyes flashed confusion before returning to the look they had before. How can he make his eyes so expressionless? I wondered, I braved a hand and stroked it along his jaw and turned his head to kiss him. He allowed it for a moment before pushing me away.

I felt colder than before. “What’s wrong?” I asked. He didn’t answer.

With a muttered a Charm, I was naked. I looked at him in confusion. “Severus?” I asked.

He pointed at the ground, unzipped his pants and drew his cock out. I looked at it; my mouth drooled. I moaned deep in my throat, surprised by my reaction. I was hard now. He smiled cruelly at me as he stroked. He knew that I hated to masturbate in front of others including him, but I love his cock. I licked my lips again, dropping to my knees and crawling on the floor to get to his delicious cock.

I kissed the head and then looked up at him. He was smiling and made a ‘go ahead’ gesture and I did, I licked my way up and down, making sure to bathe every inch of it. My hands went to his hips to balance myself. I relaxed my throat and started to work him deep into my mouth. When he was in as far as I could get I waited, swallowing convulsively around him until he groaned and grabbed my head thrusting into me.

I groaned, my own erection felt neglected and pulsed in time with his; my hips moved with his without my knowing. I loved the taste of him, all salty and bitter. I moaned again at hearing the sounds he made. All of his gasps and groans burn me. This was my power. To give him this. To fill him with pleasure and drink it down. My cock was twitching, begging for attention, I ignored it. The only proof of my need was the desperate thrusting of my hips.

My tongue painted patterns on him; my hand drifted down and started to massage his balls. Severus’s hips started fucking my mouth, as his moaning got louder, he pulled my head close and came in my mouth, and I swallowed it down, moaning appreciatively, before came with a gasp. I licked him clean.

Severus smirked as he realized what had happened. He reached down and helped me up and he got me to the bed. My lover licked me clean, his tongue making cat-like laps. I felt myself stirring again as I moaned. His hands roamed up and down my body, stopping to play with my nipples. I arched towards him craving more of him. “Severus…” I drew out and, he looked up at me dark eyes glinting mischievously.

“Yes?” he asked, moving up my body with deliberate slowness.

“More,” I said, moving towards him again, “please, Severus.”

His face was above mine, he smiled at that before he licked my neck and then up my jaw, finally to my lips. I parted them automatically, granting entrance. I sighed when I felt him settle on me and I ran my hands up and down his back, surprised to find his shirt there. I tugged it out of his pants and sighed again as I ran my hands down the silky skin of his back. Content with this at the moment, the connection of mouth and hands, we kiss like teenagers on the bed.

Shifting so I could get my hands in front of him, I undid the buttons of his shirt and he shrugged it off, never once breaking the connection of our mouths. I started exploring with my hands as he gently pushed me back to the bed; he broke the connection with a groan of protest from me. But he has me moaning in approval as he started kissing my face. Hands play through my hair, and his skilled mouth moved to my neck to find the spot where my brain shuts down. My hands moved to his head so that he wouldn’t stop that thing he did with his tongue. He snickered and sucked hard, marking me again. One of my hands started running up and down his flank and the other sifted through his hair.

He settled between my easily parted legs. Our bodies started rocking together to provide friction, lazily working towards release. I felt drugged, as clouded thoughts worked through my mind, my hands worked down to his arse and I felt cloth.

Why is there cloth? I realized he was still wearing his pants; I whined and tugged on his arse cheeks, trying to signal that I wanted him naked, now.

He broke off what he was doing to shoot me an amused look and took off his pants, footwear and underwear. I took the opportunity to gaze at his unclothed body. He rarely let me see him completely naked. He was uncomfortable with how he appeared; years of being called ugly and greasy had left their mark. He covered much of his body as he could with black high-necked clothes. “You’re beautiful,” I stated, raising my arms to try to draw him close again. He shook his head in denial and came towards me.

We went back to kissing and petting each other; Severus’s hands wandered all over my body before finally reaching my arse and he kneaded the cheeks and whispered the lubrication spell. He prepared me manually with his beautiful hands.

He entered when he had me begging for more. He stayed put until I thrust back onto him. My lover started slowly moving back and forth. The only sounds were the slapping of skin hitting skin, our vocalizations, and the creaking of bedsprings. He changed position suddenly and I cried out as he stroked my sensitive prostrate on every forward and back thrust. We sped up and cried out our release together.

He kissed me and we made out until he stiffened up suddenly. “You have a son,” he said and I looked at him confusedly.

“Yes, I told you that before, it’s why I’m here.”

He moved away, “You should go now.”

I opened my mouth to say something, and then we both hissed in pain as our Marks burned. We left together.

She says, "I can help you, but what do you say?"
But it's not free baby, you'll have to pay
You just keep me contemplating, that your soul is slowly fading

It was Halloween. Severus and I had been called to our Master’s side once more.

He had recruited Pettigrew, the tag-along-friend of Potter and his little gang. Pettigrew was there when we arrived; he was squirming excitedly, like a child just bursting with news that would make his friends, parents, or whomever, very pleased. The runt went to bow and tripped, Severus rolled his eyes.

“I have news, Master.” Pettigrew said, after everyone hade paid homage and formed the circle. The Dark Lord made a ‘go ahead’ gesture with his hand. “The Mutt, Black, has switched Secret Keepers with Me. I know where the Potters are, you can stop them now,” he said, his beady eyes glinting with joy.

The Dark Lord stood up; he came to where Pettigrew was standing and looked into his eyes, “How can I be sure that Black and Potter aren’t using you, lying to you. They obviously are aware there is a spy, as they’ve changed the Secret Keeper, they must think it’s your wolf friend. Or perhaps they think it’s you and have come up with a clever way of weeding you out.” He purred dangerously.

Pettigrew whimpered, shaking his head in denial. “N-n-no, Master, it’s true, not even Dumbledore knows this. I immediately came here after the spell was performed.”

He looked into our Master’s eyes, they glowed red and he turned suddenly and barked out, “Lestrange, Bellatrix, take Crouch and kill the Longbottoms. Try to get that son of theirs too, while you’re at it.” Our Master paused and added. “Take your time, play, if you want.”

They nodded, bowed and left. His piercing eyes landed on Severus and I. “You two stay with Pettigrew here and the rest follow me.”

With that the Evil One left and Severus started pacing. It was something he only did when he was agitated and nervous. I went over to try and find out what was wrong and he shook me off. I sat down away from the other two and watched Severus’s body as he strode. While tossing my wand up and down in the air. Pettigrew eyed me fearfully, there was no love lost between us. I hate traitors, even more than that I hate spies, who pretend that they are still loyal to those whom they are betraying, go out of their way to help them, claim friendship…

My thoughts were interrupted when Severus started barking out questions to that prat. “Where are they?” he demanded; Pettigrew shook his head fearfully.

“Come now Peter, surely you don’t need to keep their secret now. You’ve already told the person they wanted you to keep it from,” he purred. “I just want to see Potter’s face before he dies, you won’t deny me that chance of vengeance, now, will you?”

Pettigrew broke. “Number-seven-Provest-Street-Godric’s-Hollow,” he said in a rush; Severus smirked at him and Disapparated. I looked at Pettigrew and he flinched and left.

“Damn,” I cursed. I thought about leaving to follow Severus to the Potter’s, but I didn’t really want to see the Dark Lord’s face when he realized that we hadn’t obeyed him. So I left and went home.

God don't you know that I live with a ton of regret?
'Cause I used to move you in a way that you’ve never known
But then I accused you in a way that you’ve never known
But you hurt me in a way that I've never known...

The Death Eater Trials.

He was a spy! I can’t believe it. I was in love with the spy!

He betrayed me, betrayed us.

I felt the guards press closer as the magic leaked from my body, shaking the windows in the room. He sits up there in the witness box, safe from persecution because he was Dumbledore’s Pet Spy. I spat at him, Gryffindor Pet, I think. He barely passes me a glance as he wipes his face with a pristine white handkerchief.

Severus walked out of the room.

I felt my heart break. He never cared for me then. If he did he would have tried to get me out of this. He would have done something, anything, to keep me from the trials, jail. Kept me from Voldemort’s clutches. A niggling voice in the back of my head that sounds a little too much like the Traitor says Would you have listened? I tell it Yes, if it was him. I can’t convince myself that it was true.

I sat up straighter as he came back in, hate blazing in my soul as he condemned more of our friends to life in hell.

Break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness s ths then you will be alone
So won't you break me shake me hate me take me over
When the madness stops then you will be alone

He is here; he dares to visit me here, in the Ministry’s Holding Cell, when he is going to testify at the trial that will ensure my son will grow up fatherless?

How dare he!

I sweep down the hallway as if this were my own home, not some holding cell in the Ministry where numerous Death Eaters, either by force or willingly, are awaiting trial.

I entered the room and sat opposite the man who betrayed me and my face was as blank as stone. The guards took up position near the entrance, until Severus waved them away. The door closed with a resounding thud. He looked at me and I felt my heart ache. “Lucius,” he says. I gave a nod of my head; I couldn’t trust myself to speak.

“I want to explain,” He forged onward and I let out a bark of laughter; he paused. When I don’t speak, he continues. “When you married Narcissa I was hurt, betrayed. You claimed you loved me and then you married her out of what? Duty? No, it doesn’t matter now. I know I never said it in return and we kept seeing one another, so I probably shouldn’t have done it. You hurt me. Then, when little Draco was born, you came and told me that I was his godfather. I couldn’t have been happier; this is the closest I shall come to having a child of my own. I wanted to create a world for him where he will be safe. A world where people don’t kill themselves over something as stupid as whose blood runs through their veins.” I gasped and looked hard at him.

He cuts his hand. “It’s just blood Lucius; it doesn’t matter if it’s Muggle, Wizard, or Giant… it still runs red. Wizards can die from the Killing Curse, same as the rest. Unless, of course, your name happens to be Harry Potter.” He smirked.

I looked at his hand and shook my head, refusing to accept it; we had proven how weak and pathetic they were, how could he not see it?

“I wanted to tell you ever since I saw how selfish I was being, but I couldn’t find the words; then I realized that you would never see the light and I stopped trying. I never stopped loving you though… in fact, I loved you more, your dedication to their cause is remarkable.” He leaned forward and placed his bloody hand over mine, kissing them where they joined.

I pulled free and stepped back, my mind a whirl with what he said. “You... love me?” My voice sounded raspy, as if disused. He nodded and moved towards me. I stepped back and that’s when I realised it, he did. I asked him to leave, and he called for the guards.

Listen, baby
You'll be, you'll be alone

Break me shake me hate me take me make me
Fake me break me shake me hate me take me
Break me

Two weeks after my trial I arrived at Hogwarts; I finished up my duties with Albus Dumbledore and asked permission to see an old school friend. I headed down to the dungeons and went into the Head of Slytherin’s office. Severus was alone ,i>Just how I want him, I thought with a predatory grin, time for some payback.

I entered the room without knocking and stood over the desk. Severus was going to speak up, probably about the rudeness of students; when he saw whom it was he gasped and then rose to greet me. “You’re free,” he said needlessly. Obviously, both of us knew that, one through the papers and the other by being there. “You came to visit.” I nodded again, my grin growing. He kissed me. I took control of the kiss, casting locking and silencing charms in my wake as I pushed him against the most convenient flat surface I could find. His hands were all over me. He’d never been like this before, and I revelled in the power it sent through my veins.

I had him naked in moments; he was making the most delicinoisnoises now. He reached for me, to remove my clothes and I backed off. He lowered his head. I turned him around and cast the charm that cleared his desk of all his work. The papers and miscellaneous items flew back to where they belonged in the room leaving the desk ready for my plan.

I bent him over the desk and stepped back to look at him in that position. I wanted a camera to take a picture of the sight before me. “Beautiful,” I said aloud. He whimpered. I could see was hard and desperate. I caressed his back my hand going to where it wanted. Bending forward, I kissed his neck sucking hard and creating a mark there. He keened as my wandering hands idly stroked his cock, making him beg for completion even as he trustingly bared his throat for another sucking kiss.

I bit his vulnerable exposure, drawing blood and felt his cock jump in my hands. “Lucius, please, more, I want…” he broke off as my hands left him. I muttered the lubricating and preparation charms, quickly; my mind too drunk on power and lust to prepare him manually. I entered him with a single thrust.

I moved in and out of him roughly. He moaned and thrust back eagerly. By the Gods, he was so tight like he’d never done this before, and it sent a giddy thrill to my cock knowing that I was probably his first. I moved even faster, stroking his cock in time with my hips as he moaned again and again. “Not long, gods Lucius.” his words were punctured by Our movements adding a broken tone to them.

“Come for me.” I said, hurrying my hand and he spilled the fluid from his body, crying out my name. When his body clenched around me and my name was trembling on his lips pushed me over the edge and I came. I cast the spell to clean us up and tucked my shirttails neatly away. I tossed his clothes to him and brought all his paperwork back to the desk.

As I was about to step out the door, I turned back to him, “This will never happen again.” I closed the door as I left.

Fini.