Counting Stars
Counting Stars
Author/E-Mail: Jay (Freakgirl) | Moebabee15@hotmail.com
Genre: Slash
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: PG-13
Category: Dark/angst/romance/Songfic
Summary: Draco writes a letter to Harry.
Disclaimer: I do not own/know/claim to anything with these characters.
Warnings: nope
Author\'s Notes: The song used was written and performed by Sugarcult. It\'s called Counting Stars. In this story it is portrayed to be written by Draco... duh it\'s not :)
Archived: Fanfiction.net as FairyJay, PSA as Jay, Untamed Fanatics as Freakgirl, and Adultfanfiction.net as Freakgirl.
Feedback: Yes please!
He sits alone at his desk searching his mind for the right words to ink onto the paper. Nothing comes to him and he looks at the mark now burned across the skin of his right arm. A single tear seeps out of his eye and he looks away. He can\'t take the pain in his heart. He has betrayed them all and proved the ones who used to talk about him right. He is a failure. His eyes focus back onto the parchment in front of him and he begins writing.
Hey
I wanna crawl out of my skin
Apologize for all my sins
All the things I should\'ve said
To you
More tears fall and he looks back at the twisted form of a snake and skull. Why\'d it have to be this way? If he was just that much stronger he could\'ve fought longer and proved himself worthy to be in the light. He looks up and out of the window in the dungeon the Dark Lord has taken over for the time being. Stars sprinkle the sky and he aches to be out on his broom flying. He longs to be up in the air playing a game of Quidditch with his ex-classmates and lover. Again his eyes rest upon the burnt skin of his forearm. He grinds his teeth as pain sears through it making it glow brighter. His quill touches the parchment and he writes more.
Hey
I can\'t make it go away
Over and over in my brain again
All the things I should\'ve said
To you
He lays his head down on the desk breathing deeply. A black eagle swoops through the open window and lands atop the desk next to his letter. It extends his leg and he unties the parchment scanning it quickly. He crumbles it in his fist and throws it to the ground. Another meeting has been scheduled for midnight and he will not attend this one either. He has not attended a meeting since becoming a Death Eater and he will not start now. The bird flies out the window carrying his reply and he gazes after it, longing to be the bird. He looks at the stars and sighs. He lowers his gaze back to the letter and begins writing again.
Counting stars wishing I was ok
Crashing down was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again
Even now, if he had the courage he would just take his own life, but he can\'t even summon the will to do so. He thinks back to his last relationship. He never would have thought it possible to fall in love with him. He had loathed him since before he had met him, always trained to hate him. However, the day he saw him he knew he was in love, no matter how young he was at the time, nor the fact that his love interest was a boy, he was so much in love with the Boy-Who-Lived. He looked back to his arm and sobbed. He betrayed the only person to ever truly love him. This would be the last letter to him; if he kept in contact he would lead them straight to his lover. He inhaled shakily and started writing again.
Hey
Ill take this day by day by day
Under the covers I\'m ok I guess
Life\'s too short and I feel small
He wasn\'t sure what hurt worse, his heart or the mark that tarnished his pale skin. He wiped a few tears and looked to the stars again. He stared for a few minutes remembering a past he once had. He thought about the way he could just lie in bed with his lover for hours and never tire of it. He thought about his lovers smile and the way he would turn pink when he received a genuine compliment, no matter who from. He smiled to himself, he missed being at Hogwarts. He never thought he would be able to be with his arch nemesis, but he had. He had managed to win the heart of the most respected wizard alongside Dumbledore. He won his heart and now he was about to shatter it. He cursed himself for being a cd and and lowered the quill to the parchment once more.
Counting stars
Wishing I was ok
Crashing down
Was my biggest mistake
I never ever meant to hurt you
I only did what I had to
Counting stars again
Love Always for Eternity;
Draco Lucius Malfoy
He sealed the parchment and whistled for the white owl he knew was hiding outside. Sure enough, with no time wasted, the owl flew in and extended her leg. Draco made no pretence to hide his tears from the snowy girl, she wasn\'t stupid and she knew what goingoing on.
\"Don\'t get a reply. I don\'t want one. I\'ll see you then, Hedwig.\" The owl looked at him with a sympathy he had never seen. She hooted sadly and took flight out of the window. Draco broke down and started crying as his body slid to the ground. He hit the ground several times with his fist. A wind blew through the open window and extinguished the only light in the room and he was encased in darkness. If only he was stronger.