Lost

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Warning: What should I say? Is there anybody out there who understands what I wanted to say? I confused myself a little bit by writing this...geez. I\'m a horrible person.

This fic is rated R for a reason. Believe me. It mentions rape, beatings and suicide. Only read it, when you\'re sure, you can handle it. It takes place in their last year in Hogwarts. Harry and Draco are no couple but at least one of them is interested in the other...

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Lost

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I\'ve lost you.

I\'m standing at your grave waiting for all those hypocrites to leave me alone. I hate them all.

~Screams.~

They cannot imagine what it was like to look at your lifeless body, stained with blood so red that it hurt my eyes.

They will never know what it felt like to see your eyes frozen in horror and pain as you realised it wasn\'t a joke.

You\'re eyes were still full of disbelief as my fist collided with your jaw and as the following blow knocked you against the wall you\'re face only showed confusion.

~Blood.~

I took you by surprise. I saw it in your eyes, in your face. You couldn\'t believe what just happened to you.

The next kick threw you back again breaking your ribs with a sickening crack. At this point youeameeamed for the first time and I made sure it wasn\'t the last time.

~Pain.~

Do you know I love your voice? I love to hear you scream, to hear your begging. Could you even imagine how long I waited for you to give in? How long I watched you walking, reading, laughing? How long I simply wanted you to notice me as a human being? How long I simply wanted "šyou\'?

I guess not. But now I couldn\'t stand it anymore.

You tried to fight me but you were already injured and I overpowered you easily.

Again and again I kept beating, clawing my fingers into your skin, ripping it open and licking your blood from my fingers.

I tasted you in every possible way and as I finally forced your legs apart and drove myself deep inside your already bleeding body I could see your soul shatter.

You looked at me. I smiled coldly, licking my lips clean of the remains of your blood and you shivered. In this instant I knew I won.

~Hurt.~

Every thrust took down more and more from your defenses and made you mine. Suddenly I felt your blood making it easier for me to fuck you. Never before I thought about of using your blood as lubricant but I enjoyed the idea.

With every thrust I claimed your heart, pounding myself right through your body into your soul. At some point you gave in. I sensed the difference in the way you was lying beneath me. You completely surrendered to me.

Satisfied I withdrew carefully, never realizing I took more than you were able to give.

~Destruction.~

They will never know the truth. The guilt is mine forever, a new burden on my soul. I killed you by forcing you to be mine. I should have seen I wanted to much, I should have recognized the signs but I was blind. Only seeing my own needs and desires I simply forgot to take care of you.

Between us everything went wrong from the beginning. Why didn\'t you see me? Why did you hurt me? Humilate me in front of my friends? Why did you laugh at me?

I listen to their voices as they walked away. Finally alone I fell to my knees and touched the plain gravestone with my fingertips following your name on the even surface.

\"Goodbye, my dragon!\" I whisper and turn around to join Ron and Hermione, waiting for me to escort me back to school. They try to comfort me but they will never know that I\'m not worth their concern because it was my fault you killed yourself.

END.