Making Love Out of Nothing At All
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
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Adult ++
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,608
Reviews:
9
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Making Love Out of Nothing At All
Title: Making Love out of Nothing at all
Author: Serenitas
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Draco/Harry (OTP, is there anything finer?)
Genre: Romance/Drama/Songfic
Disclaimer: I do not own them, I can only toy with them. I do not own the song, Air Supply does. As you can see, I own very little. Flames will used as objects of mockery and brought to infamy so don’t bother giving them.
Everyone waiting for updates on ASU, please check my Yahoo group as that is where all updates are posted along with cookies. All links to my site (a fine collection of H/D slash), my Yahoo group and my livejournal are in my bio. I have a HP RPG going as well and we desperately need new characters. Check out the community at: http://www.livejournal.com/community/trelawneys_room.
Enjoy the smut!
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All
No one really talks about the days leading up to the final battle with Voldemort, either because of their own pain and memories or out of fear. It is unpleasant I admit – I fought on the front lines; however the one thing people ignore is that there was some good that came out of that war. Take me for example – the war with Voldemort, the days leading up to it and everything that happened afterward were the best things that ever happened to me. I was able to discover who and what I was and what I stood for.
I found love. That is what makes me marvel most days when I see him. Thereno ono one else I could ever love; I wouldn’t even try. I hated him, I hurt him, I envied him, I betrayed him, I yearned for him, and I worshipped him.
He never suspected a thing. It’s funny really, he is the smartest man I have ever met, clever and wily, and able to get himself out of most scrapes with nothing more than a disgruntled sneer yet when it comes to basic human emotions he is as clueless as a monkey doing a mathematic problem.
In the beginning he didn’t trust me. I don’t blame him a bit; I certainly wouldn’t have; yet he was willing to start again. I didn’t rush – I had no intention of messing this up and when he warmed to me it was a balm to my frozen soul. People were appalled, and disgust was apparent, yet the approaching battle drew their interest far more than the love affair of the Boy Who Lived, for after all if he failed then we were all as good as dead. For myself I had already decided that if Voldemort won I was opening my veins within the moment of his victory. Perhaps it is the cowards’ way out, but I am a Slytherin and we were never known for our outstanding courage. We leave such trifles to saps like the Gryffindors and to a small extent, the Ravenclaws.
I learned the things about Harry that no one knew – that no one wanted to see. I saw his darkness, I heard his fears and I listened. I didn’t pity him as Granger did, and I didn’t revere him like Creevey did. I didn’t judge him like Weasley did and does to this day and I never pressured him in any way like Dumbledore did. I imagine that it was that more than any other that began to batter down the stone wall between us. I could have been a manipulative bastard and indeed everyone was expecting me to be and hurt Harry – I had been raised in deception and had never hesitated to use it on someone who was foolish enough to reveal their weakness to me.
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
In the beginning I was acting partially under instructions from my father and partially from my own insatiable lust for him. I was thrilled when my father told me that I would have to get close to Harry since that suited my purposes just fine. I let him spill his innermost thoughts to me; I let him learn about relationships and romance with me. I could tell he didn’t want it hard and fast (the only true way to have a relationship I might add), so I adjusted my attitude to be gentle, soft and understanding. I let him believe I was dominated by my father and acted the way I did out of a desperate desire to please him.
He believed me – it was a story that had been told often enough by many different mouths. I had earned enough of his trust by that point that few questions were asked – by him.
Granger was not one of the smartest students in school for nothing. She saw right through me and let me know in no uncertain terms that she would take great and sadistic pleasure in skinning me from the inside out before she stopped being polite.
And here I thought Gryffindors had no imagination.
I didn’t dare create dreams for myself. My dreams and hopes when I allowed myself to have them always involved money and power. I never ever dreamed of love.
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
He was the world’s finest instrument, so open and responsive to my touch. The first time I touched him below the waist he leapt a mile in the other direction before sheepishly smiling and whispering to me to do itin. in.
“Draco…”
“Yes Harry?”
“Would you touch me there again?”
No words were spoken, just a gentle exhaling of breath before a stifled gasp and the rustle of eager hands as they drifted down a body that had never before been touched by any other hands – and never would be again.
I had claimed his body as my territory and I didn’t deal kindly with poachers. I knew that I was lucky to have Harry because there was not a man, woman, child or beast who didn’t want him. People would have squandered their fortunes for a gesture from him, and to be his lover … well suffice to say that I got my share of dirty looks.
My father was so proud. I had finally succeeded and made up for all those years when he had bested me. He told me to do whatever it took to make sure that he stayed with me and if that involved physical intimacy I was to do it, I had been well trained.
Who was I to argue with my father about that? He wanted me to shag Harry? Arduous as it was I would comply.
“Do you want to stop?”
“I trust you Draco.” ThisThis will hurt…for a moment.”
“Draco just do it! Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. I want you inside me so much I can’t stand it.” Harry had been practically sobbing in his need.
“Have patience love. It will make everything so much better.”
Hands running down his torso so firm and tanned from years of working with those insipid Muggles, tracing pert nipples, outlining his muscles – I was the first. Fingers curling around a bobbing and eager cock, a touch of a tongue that made him curse as he arched to me. He was so responsive, so honest in bed.
“Draco…”
“Relax Harry; I won’t let you fall without me.”
There had been nothing but the gasps and exclamations that come with the first physical encounter. I had taken his innocence and thought that there had been nothing more beautiful that had ever walked this earth than a sated Harry Potter. If I close my eyes and try hard I can feel him around me still. I was truly happy in his arms.
And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
I knew the time was coming when my father would tell me to cut him loose and I dreaded that day as much as I looked forward to it. I had gotten him out of my system – right? I was a Slytherin and we needed no one, cared for no one, family and family loyalties came first. Harry, in his infinite idiocy as a Gryffindor had confided his secrets and worries to me, had told me his fears and I dutifully informed my father who in turn told the Dark Lord. There cre certain they had found his Achilles Heel.
Rumours had been rampant about me at Hogwarts, that I was everything from a Death Eater to the first-born true child of Voldemort. I was a drag queen in a Muggle Goth club, I was an angel fallen from grace…
Harry ignored every single word. He said he knew who and what I was and I would never hurt him and never betray him. He saw only the good in me, saw what I had shown him – theco Mco Malfoy the rest of the world knew, not the Draco Malfoy I was.
My loyalties were starting to change at this point – not because of Potter, certainly not. No, more because the more I looked at Voldemort I began to realize he was truly insane. I’m all for a bit of killing Muggles but there was no logic behind what he was doing. True they have diluted the Wizarding line terribly and they should worship us and be kept separate and apart – yet Voldemort was only doing this because of his rage at his Muggle father. Because he had never had proper father-son bonding time he had condemned an entire race and that I did not agree with. If you were going to kill Muggles then it had to be for more than just because your daddy never paid enough attention to you and that you had been stuffed into an orphanage – a well to do one at that.
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time\'s gonna fly
And I\'m never gonna tell you everything I\'ve gotta tell you
But I know I\'ve gotta give it a try
Harry knew I had secrets and he never pressed me to tell what they were. It was an unspoken agreement that no strife existed as long as we were together. I had spent my entire life cloaked in darkness, a never ending cycle of dark night, of time that dragged on interminably going towards an Initiation I had been born and raised for. An Initiation that I no longer wanted. Harry had no part on me changing my mind, not a bit. The more time I spent with him (having explained to my fellow Slytherins that I was leading him into a trap and was acting under orders from Voldemort himself), the more I realized just how xenophobic my fellow Slytherins were. So afraid of anything that was different from what they were raised to know. I was no better, yet for some reason I was willing to try things out of the ordin
Of course everyone knew I was acting strangely because I was being forced to sleep with Potter and pretend to date him.
A faint flush covered his cheeks so prettily. I wanted to kiss every bit of him that was red and see just how flushed he would become. “What do you want Harry?”
His eyes were hooded. “I want to make love to you this time. I want to know what it feels like to be inside you, to feel you convulse around me, to watch you shatter in my arms.”
Breath was held as his eyes raised to meet me, and his hands were clenched as his hel held itself rigid, the most taut of strings on the verge of breaking. How could I answer this? I always gave it, I had only taken it once during my instructional training and he had not been kind. This was an act of the utmost trust, and when it came down to it, I was a virgin.
I leaned forward and pulled his face to mine. “Maybe later.” I murmured as I kissed him, seeing the disappointment flash in his eyes.
I felt something for him, but I trusted no one and he knew that.
I always took him gently, making sure that he knew I would never hurt him, yet after he asked me I was in shock and took him rougher than I meant to – or did I want him to know that it wasn’t always love and sweetness?
I thought more and more about telling him, it wouldn’t be fair for him to be lead to his death without a warning. I see now that his Gryffindor ways were rubbing off on me.
And I know the roads to riches
and I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules and then I know how to break \'em
and I always know the name of the game
Being Slytherin I knew the importance of outwards appearances. I made sure that my body language always gave a mixed signal to those who had been raised from birth to read it. I was breaking all the rules with Potter, and no matter how I trto dto disguise it my change in allegiance was starting to show through.
“Draco what the hell has been going on with you lately?”
“I told you Blaise that things are fine! It’s this bloody assignation I have to carry on with Potter. It’s not only revolting but it is wearing as well.”
“That might wash with the rest of the House Draco, but we have been raised together and I know you remember? You are acting oddly, even for someone rogering Potter.”
“Watch it Zabini, I don’t like what you are implying.”
“Implying? Hell Malfoy I am out and out telling you! Even Pansy has noticed and she’s oblivious to anything but her skin care products!”
“What is it that you think is so odd?”
“You starting to miss the Youth meetings for one, and for another you are starting to avoid your fellow Slytherins. Looks mighty suspicious.”
“Potter is surprisingly intelligent despite outward appearances, and incredibly needy. To pull this off and lead him into the trap he has to think I am blameless and beyond reproach and so far it is working beautifully, provided no one screws. It. Up for me. Savvy?”
A narrowing of eyes as a penetrating glare is directed towards me. “I am watching you Malfoy. You keep acting oddly like this and I’ll be making my own report and I assure you that you will not like it.”
“I expect nothing less Blaise.”
The game of veiled threats I knew well, I was a master at it and Blaise was nearly as good as I was. The danger was mounting both for Potter and for myself yet I didn’t really care. When it all went towards the fan I knew enough to duck even if some foolish people didn’t. In the end I would not be affected except for more power, more money and a promotion in the eyes of those who really mattered.
But I don\'t know how to leave you
and I\'ll never let you fall
and I don\'t know how you do it Making love out of nothing at all
“Draco you have performed absolutely admirably under pressure and extenuating circumstances that are repulsive and repugnant to most people. I am pleased.”
“Thank you my Lord.”
“The time has come to end the charade with Potter. You know when and where to deliver him to me. You will be well rewarded for all you have done in my Name.”
“It is my honour and privilege to serve you my Lord.”
“Of course it is. You may go.”
Can I even describe how cold and terrified I felt after hearing those words? How could I leave him? How could I lead him into a trap that would certainly mean his death? I knew Voldemort and I knew the ways of the Death Eaters well. They would have me torture him to prove that he meant nothing to me, so that he could see he was only a tool and I cared nothing for him as he always suspected and would whisper to me in the dark of the night when I would hold him after a particularly sweaty session.
Feeling and emotion came so easy to him. I marvelled at his ability to find love and caring in even the most hard-hearted of people – look at me. He found that one grain, that inkling of humanity left inside me and let it blossom and grow into something that could be considered beautiful. He didn’t need to try, he could create love everywhere he went like a nymph or sprite, just as mythical, just as beautiful.
I had promised him he would never fall without me, and here I was preparing to push him over the edge.
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun are
Streaming through the waves in your hair
and every star in the sky is taking aim at
your eyes like a spotlight
During Quidditch games I was always mesmerized by watching him, his jet-black hair lit from within by his own personal radiance and sunlight. It didn’t matter if he played in the rain, I could see inside him and it frightened me as much as it fascinated me. I could watch him for hours, studying and analysing him as a bug under glass, making note of his weaknesses and writing them down to be sent off to the man who was going to Mark me upon delivery.
I had no reason to be afraid.
I have been raised a pawn and would spend my life being a pawn. Free will means nothing, carrying out the orders of a higher power was all that mattered.
Or so I had been taught.
Yet it was a dismal and empty future. I didn’t want it anymore. I had been exposed to something deadlier than the noxious potions that Snape brewed. The light that made Potter…well Potter engulfed me and I had suddenly seen what colour and warmth were.
I didn’t want to leave it.
The beating of my heart is a drum, and it\'s lost
and it\'s looking for a rhythm like you
you can take the darkness at the pit of the night
and turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I was more than a little confused at my feelings the longer we were together. I had two days left before the trap would be sprung and I would be free. Is that why I was so tense and my heart accelerated? What was happening to me? What was this spell that Potter had put me under so quickly and efficiently?
The whole school seemed to be buzzing with an unnamed tension, was it because I was more alert that I noticed it or simply because I was one of the few causing it? It was no secret that there was going to be a huge Death Eater movement in the next few days and the only questions were who was involved and which students would be forever changed? I knew that there were going to be people from every house not just Slytherin and that made my blood run cold. At least with a Slytherin you knew they were safely in the dorms, away from certain people…but a Gryffindor Death Eater…
I shn’t n’t care, it’s not like Potter will be alive to reap the destruction that was coming. His days were down to two.
Why did that knowledge make me physically ill?
I\'ve gotta follow it \'cause everything I know
Well, it\'s nothing \'til I give it to you
“Potter,”
“Yes Draco?”
“Do you remember the question?”
A blush. “Of course.”
I pulled him near. “It’s later than you think.”
He blinked at me in shock and surprise as his jaw dropped. “What are you saying?”
From a well – I know not where, came courage I never knew I possessed. “I’m saying that you can make love to me Harry.”
The smile that lit up his face rivalled the sun. Why did they call Apollo the shining one? I had him here in bed, and he was about to give his light to me.
Our foreheads met as we leaned against each other, our breath intermingling until it was all that could be heard. I brought his trembling hand up to my chest and pressed it against my heart so he could feel. It had never truly beat until that moment, and once he was gone it would never beat again. I held myself still, waiting to see what he would do and wetness on his cheeks made me start. I didn’t ask him why he was crying and he didn’t bother to tell me.
Slowly my pristine shirt was unbuttoned and my t-shirt underneath pulled off. Though he had seen my torso countless times, this time he drew in a strangled breath as his lips came forward to engulf a nipple and torment me. One of my hands tangled in his hair as I clutched him to my chest wanting to weep myself.
He sat up and pulled off his shirt and tie. For the first time I marvelled at the muscles in his arms, arms that would now hold me as I had held him. The movement of his hands transfixed me as he unbuckled his belt and undid his trousers, letting them fall to the floor. Socks were thrown somewhere over the edge of the bed – I know not where nor did I care. I had more important things to think about other than socks.
He laid me back with a tenderness I never knew he had. It surprised me even as it soothed me. I let him slowly remove my trousers, lifting my hips as he dragged them down my legs with my boxers, caressing the flesh he found. I bit my lip to hold back a moan, not regretting for a single moment what I was about to let him do. When I was as nude as he was he draped his body over me and began again. His lips and tongue were all over my chest, pausing briefly at my mouth where I tried to climb inside him never wanting this moment to end. There was no sound, just our laboured breathing and hitches in breath as he discovered every erogenous zone and sensitive spot I had.
When his hot fist clutched around my cock I had to fight back a yell. I had never known it could feel like this, be like this. He tortured me, as he loved me, each touch bringing sweet agony, denying me release. His mouth engulfed me as I arched off the bed, his mouth sucking and nibbling giving me sensations I had never felt before. I was so hard it hurt, as he toyed with my bollocks and rubbed my damp cock against his cheek. He slid up my body and rubbed our cocks together making me almost weep at the delicious friction as one of his hands crept down my outer and and began to prepare me.
My legs fell open as I granted him full access. Did I trust him? Did I care if he killed me in this moment? Nothing mattered except the joining we were going to do. His eyes were glowing, lit from within by his own internal light and they hypnotized me as his hand flirted with my cock and my opening. It was more than I could stand as I opened my mouth in a silent scream at the beautiful pain.
I felt the blunt head of him begin to push past my opening and I prayo reo relax and clutched him tightly. The skin of his cock grazed the delicate flesh of my arse as he slid ever deeper. I was filled, every bit of me, so full with his cock and his tongue. His hand fisted my cock as his other one tangled in my hair. Our lips were millimetres apart as the only air my lungs got came from his mouth and vversversa. I felt a trickle of blood seep down my arse at the invasion, tearing me apart and putting me back together. I hadn’t known that I was so fragile until he was inside me. To this day it was the most intense moment of my life.
Where did he end and I begin? He was inside me. I marvelled at the feeling as he kissed me, murmuring words of love and reassurance, beginning to thrust into my willing body, touching the sweetest of spots. This is what it felt like to have a cock inside you, to have a piece of another human being in your body.
Was I trying to suck him in deeper or push him out? Even now I’m nntirntirely sure. His name was my mantra and I prayed to him as I met his every thrust, wishing he was a God and could save me. Our hands were everywhere, our sweat mingling together, the sound of our bodies and the rocking of the bed all that mattered. As I climaxed I wept, not certain of what he said as he came inside me, filling me with his warm seed – for a moment I shared in the glow that was within him. I wished to keep a bit of him within me forever, for it would be all that would be left of him soon.
My last bit of coherency was that he wept still, his tears falling on my chest and face, mingling with my own. In that moment before slumber overtook me I realized that he knew.
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
He left the bed as I curled into myself, realizing I had lost more than my virginity to him. Somewhere along the lines of this assignment I had given him my heart. I could no more betray him than I could deny the will of my father. I would turn up without him and instead of him dying, I would. In the deepest act of trust that I allowed him, I told him everything he needed to . I . I had taught him well.
“Harry,” I had asked, my voice hoarse and trembling.
“Draco.”
“Will you come walk with me tomorrow night? There is something I want to show you.”
Resignation had settled over his features and betrayal. I had caused the light inside him to go out. “Of course.”
When he was gone I felt emptiness inside and knew my heart had stopped beating. Why did I feel so guilty? I was being dutiful; I was obeying orders.
That was the longest night of my life.
I can make tonight for
o
or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make you every promise that has ever been made
and I can make all your demons be gone
I reached out a hand to him, wanting him to spurn me as he had so long ago. Could he hear my thoughts screaming at him not to come near me? He smiled so sadly as he embraced me and kissed me. “I love you Draco,” he had whispered. “No matter what I do not regret anything.”
I wanted to be cool and aloof to him, to play ignorant and not know what he was talking about, but I could not. We both knew, the time for lies had passed. “Run.” I whispered into his ear. “Go. Now.”
He shook his head. “No Draco, this has to happen. It gives me hope knowing that you don’t do this willingly.”
“How did you know?” I ask before reaching for the Portkey.
He shrugged slightly. “I always knew.” He had kissed my forehead softly. “I held you in my arms, wiped your tears and banished your demons in the night. You spoke to me in your sleep.”
“Why don’t you leavw?” w?” I had pleaded.
“It is time.” He had answere
I
I thought I was the cryptic one.
But I\'m never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl?
We had Portkeyed into a nightmare, a ring of Death Eaters headed up by Voldemort. Blaise looked faintly surprised that I had delivered Potter and nodded to me in approval. I could not tear my eyes from him, if this was going to be the last time I ever saw him, I wanted memories to last all my life. The glow was back inside him, whether that meant he had made his peace and was prepared to die or was gathering everything within him for a final strike I’ll never know.
“Kneel.” Was the only thing Voldemort said to him.
“No.” was his only reply.
Chaos was unleashed as Aurors, Unspeakables and the entire DA was unleashed around us. Spells began flying, confundus charms, body binds and more than a few Unforgivea. I . I could not for a moment tear my eyes off of Harry and Voldemort and knew that despite it all, theal Bal Battle had arrived.
I cannot speak of the spells cast nor of the reactions of the two combatants, all I knew was that I would not walk off this field if Harry did not live. He was starting to fade, the power of Voldemort too great even for his surprise spells. “I love you Harry.” I whispered knowing he would never hear it.
Somehow…something came flying out of Harry’s wand as he radiated light in the field making everything stop as everyone stared at him. A red phoenix appeared to fly from his body, circle and head towards Voldemort who was unable to move. He could not speak, he could only watch knowing that the phoenix was his death.
I turned away, not wanting to see anything further. My eyes were sheltered from the blast as I crawled to Harry who had dropped to his knees and held him, feeling his shallow breath.
“How?” was all I asked.
Harry had smiled enigmaticaand and promptly fell unconscious. Even after I was surrounded I would not let him go.
And I\'m never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all.
Harry made a slow recovery while I was imprisoned in Azkaban, not that I cared. He was alive. The biggest shock came the day my cell door opened and he stepped inside, taking in the surroundings and then looking at me.
“No regrets Malfoy?” he had asked, a smile on his face.
“Not a one.”
He held out his hand and I realized that per wha whatever deity existed had heard my silent prayers and brought my redemption to me. I had one chance to save myself. His hand was held out before me like a lifeline.
I grabbed it.
So here I am, living more or less contentedly with Potter – despite the fights we have over Weasley, Granger and basically anything else. He pulled me from the bleak despair that was my life and brought me to the light. Of course I am still a Slytherin, I will always be cunning and my new life goal is make Weasley turn as many shades of furious red as I can think of.
Harry told me that it was admission of love that gave him the extra power needed to call upon the phoenix that killed Voldemort. Truly love is stronger than magic, something that still amazes me. I have scorned and derided the emotion, an was was only through my acceptance of it that I was able to help the man I loved win against darkness. I don’t feel so much like a two faced traitor when I think of it.
I watch Harry still, knowing I will never have his talent of finding love in the most unlikely of places and caring even less. It adds to the mystery that is Harry James Potter, his ability to make love out of nothing at all.
Author: Serenitas
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Draco/Harry (OTP, is there anything finer?)
Genre: Romance/Drama/Songfic
Disclaimer: I do not own them, I can only toy with them. I do not own the song, Air Supply does. As you can see, I own very little. Flames will used as objects of mockery and brought to infamy so don’t bother giving them.
Everyone waiting for updates on ASU, please check my Yahoo group as that is where all updates are posted along with cookies. All links to my site (a fine collection of H/D slash), my Yahoo group and my livejournal are in my bio. I have a HP RPG going as well and we desperately need new characters. Check out the community at: http://www.livejournal.com/community/trelawneys_room.
Enjoy the smut!
Making Love Out Of Nothing At All
No one really talks about the days leading up to the final battle with Voldemort, either because of their own pain and memories or out of fear. It is unpleasant I admit – I fought on the front lines; however the one thing people ignore is that there was some good that came out of that war. Take me for example – the war with Voldemort, the days leading up to it and everything that happened afterward were the best things that ever happened to me. I was able to discover who and what I was and what I stood for.
I found love. That is what makes me marvel most days when I see him. Thereno ono one else I could ever love; I wouldn’t even try. I hated him, I hurt him, I envied him, I betrayed him, I yearned for him, and I worshipped him.
He never suspected a thing. It’s funny really, he is the smartest man I have ever met, clever and wily, and able to get himself out of most scrapes with nothing more than a disgruntled sneer yet when it comes to basic human emotions he is as clueless as a monkey doing a mathematic problem.
In the beginning he didn’t trust me. I don’t blame him a bit; I certainly wouldn’t have; yet he was willing to start again. I didn’t rush – I had no intention of messing this up and when he warmed to me it was a balm to my frozen soul. People were appalled, and disgust was apparent, yet the approaching battle drew their interest far more than the love affair of the Boy Who Lived, for after all if he failed then we were all as good as dead. For myself I had already decided that if Voldemort won I was opening my veins within the moment of his victory. Perhaps it is the cowards’ way out, but I am a Slytherin and we were never known for our outstanding courage. We leave such trifles to saps like the Gryffindors and to a small extent, the Ravenclaws.
I learned the things about Harry that no one knew – that no one wanted to see. I saw his darkness, I heard his fears and I listened. I didn’t pity him as Granger did, and I didn’t revere him like Creevey did. I didn’t judge him like Weasley did and does to this day and I never pressured him in any way like Dumbledore did. I imagine that it was that more than any other that began to batter down the stone wall between us. I could have been a manipulative bastard and indeed everyone was expecting me to be and hurt Harry – I had been raised in deception and had never hesitated to use it on someone who was foolish enough to reveal their weakness to me.
I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie
In the beginning I was acting partially under instructions from my father and partially from my own insatiable lust for him. I was thrilled when my father told me that I would have to get close to Harry since that suited my purposes just fine. I let him spill his innermost thoughts to me; I let him learn about relationships and romance with me. I could tell he didn’t want it hard and fast (the only true way to have a relationship I might add), so I adjusted my attitude to be gentle, soft and understanding. I let him believe I was dominated by my father and acted the way I did out of a desperate desire to please him.
He believed me – it was a story that had been told often enough by many different mouths. I had earned enough of his trust by that point that few questions were asked – by him.
Granger was not one of the smartest students in school for nothing. She saw right through me and let me know in no uncertain terms that she would take great and sadistic pleasure in skinning me from the inside out before she stopped being polite.
And here I thought Gryffindors had no imagination.
I didn’t dare create dreams for myself. My dreams and hopes when I allowed myself to have them always involved money and power. I never ever dreamed of love.
I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream
He was the world’s finest instrument, so open and responsive to my touch. The first time I touched him below the waist he leapt a mile in the other direction before sheepishly smiling and whispering to me to do itin. in.
“Draco…”
“Yes Harry?”
“Would you touch me there again?”
No words were spoken, just a gentle exhaling of breath before a stifled gasp and the rustle of eager hands as they drifted down a body that had never before been touched by any other hands – and never would be again.
I had claimed his body as my territory and I didn’t deal kindly with poachers. I knew that I was lucky to have Harry because there was not a man, woman, child or beast who didn’t want him. People would have squandered their fortunes for a gesture from him, and to be his lover … well suffice to say that I got my share of dirty looks.
My father was so proud. I had finally succeeded and made up for all those years when he had bested me. He told me to do whatever it took to make sure that he stayed with me and if that involved physical intimacy I was to do it, I had been well trained.
Who was I to argue with my father about that? He wanted me to shag Harry? Arduous as it was I would comply.
“Do you want to stop?”
“I trust you Draco.” ThisThis will hurt…for a moment.”
“Draco just do it! Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine. I want you inside me so much I can’t stand it.” Harry had been practically sobbing in his need.
“Have patience love. It will make everything so much better.”
Hands running down his torso so firm and tanned from years of working with those insipid Muggles, tracing pert nipples, outlining his muscles – I was the first. Fingers curling around a bobbing and eager cock, a touch of a tongue that made him curse as he arched to me. He was so responsive, so honest in bed.
“Draco…”
“Relax Harry; I won’t let you fall without me.”
There had been nothing but the gasps and exclamations that come with the first physical encounter. I had taken his innocence and thought that there had been nothing more beautiful that had ever walked this earth than a sated Harry Potter. If I close my eyes and try hard I can feel him around me still. I was truly happy in his arms.
And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
And I know when to let you loose
I knew the time was coming when my father would tell me to cut him loose and I dreaded that day as much as I looked forward to it. I had gotten him out of my system – right? I was a Slytherin and we needed no one, cared for no one, family and family loyalties came first. Harry, in his infinite idiocy as a Gryffindor had confided his secrets and worries to me, had told me his fears and I dutifully informed my father who in turn told the Dark Lord. There cre certain they had found his Achilles Heel.
Rumours had been rampant about me at Hogwarts, that I was everything from a Death Eater to the first-born true child of Voldemort. I was a drag queen in a Muggle Goth club, I was an angel fallen from grace…
Harry ignored every single word. He said he knew who and what I was and I would never hurt him and never betray him. He saw only the good in me, saw what I had shown him – theco Mco Malfoy the rest of the world knew, not the Draco Malfoy I was.
My loyalties were starting to change at this point – not because of Potter, certainly not. No, more because the more I looked at Voldemort I began to realize he was truly insane. I’m all for a bit of killing Muggles but there was no logic behind what he was doing. True they have diluted the Wizarding line terribly and they should worship us and be kept separate and apart – yet Voldemort was only doing this because of his rage at his Muggle father. Because he had never had proper father-son bonding time he had condemned an entire race and that I did not agree with. If you were going to kill Muggles then it had to be for more than just because your daddy never paid enough attention to you and that you had been stuffed into an orphanage – a well to do one at that.
And I know the night is fading
And I know the time\'s gonna fly
And I\'m never gonna tell you everything I\'ve gotta tell you
But I know I\'ve gotta give it a try
Harry knew I had secrets and he never pressed me to tell what they were. It was an unspoken agreement that no strife existed as long as we were together. I had spent my entire life cloaked in darkness, a never ending cycle of dark night, of time that dragged on interminably going towards an Initiation I had been born and raised for. An Initiation that I no longer wanted. Harry had no part on me changing my mind, not a bit. The more time I spent with him (having explained to my fellow Slytherins that I was leading him into a trap and was acting under orders from Voldemort himself), the more I realized just how xenophobic my fellow Slytherins were. So afraid of anything that was different from what they were raised to know. I was no better, yet for some reason I was willing to try things out of the ordin
Of course everyone knew I was acting strangely because I was being forced to sleep with Potter and pretend to date him.
A faint flush covered his cheeks so prettily. I wanted to kiss every bit of him that was red and see just how flushed he would become. “What do you want Harry?”
His eyes were hooded. “I want to make love to you this time. I want to know what it feels like to be inside you, to feel you convulse around me, to watch you shatter in my arms.”
Breath was held as his eyes raised to meet me, and his hands were clenched as his hel held itself rigid, the most taut of strings on the verge of breaking. How could I answer this? I always gave it, I had only taken it once during my instructional training and he had not been kind. This was an act of the utmost trust, and when it came down to it, I was a virgin.
I leaned forward and pulled his face to mine. “Maybe later.” I murmured as I kissed him, seeing the disappointment flash in his eyes.
I felt something for him, but I trusted no one and he knew that.
I always took him gently, making sure that he knew I would never hurt him, yet after he asked me I was in shock and took him rougher than I meant to – or did I want him to know that it wasn’t always love and sweetness?
I thought more and more about telling him, it wouldn’t be fair for him to be lead to his death without a warning. I see now that his Gryffindor ways were rubbing off on me.
And I know the roads to riches
and I know the ways to fame
I know all the rules and then I know how to break \'em
and I always know the name of the game
Being Slytherin I knew the importance of outwards appearances. I made sure that my body language always gave a mixed signal to those who had been raised from birth to read it. I was breaking all the rules with Potter, and no matter how I trto dto disguise it my change in allegiance was starting to show through.
“Draco what the hell has been going on with you lately?”
“I told you Blaise that things are fine! It’s this bloody assignation I have to carry on with Potter. It’s not only revolting but it is wearing as well.”
“That might wash with the rest of the House Draco, but we have been raised together and I know you remember? You are acting oddly, even for someone rogering Potter.”
“Watch it Zabini, I don’t like what you are implying.”
“Implying? Hell Malfoy I am out and out telling you! Even Pansy has noticed and she’s oblivious to anything but her skin care products!”
“What is it that you think is so odd?”
“You starting to miss the Youth meetings for one, and for another you are starting to avoid your fellow Slytherins. Looks mighty suspicious.”
“Potter is surprisingly intelligent despite outward appearances, and incredibly needy. To pull this off and lead him into the trap he has to think I am blameless and beyond reproach and so far it is working beautifully, provided no one screws. It. Up for me. Savvy?”
A narrowing of eyes as a penetrating glare is directed towards me. “I am watching you Malfoy. You keep acting oddly like this and I’ll be making my own report and I assure you that you will not like it.”
“I expect nothing less Blaise.”
The game of veiled threats I knew well, I was a master at it and Blaise was nearly as good as I was. The danger was mounting both for Potter and for myself yet I didn’t really care. When it all went towards the fan I knew enough to duck even if some foolish people didn’t. In the end I would not be affected except for more power, more money and a promotion in the eyes of those who really mattered.
But I don\'t know how to leave you
and I\'ll never let you fall
and I don\'t know how you do it Making love out of nothing at all
“Draco you have performed absolutely admirably under pressure and extenuating circumstances that are repulsive and repugnant to most people. I am pleased.”
“Thank you my Lord.”
“The time has come to end the charade with Potter. You know when and where to deliver him to me. You will be well rewarded for all you have done in my Name.”
“It is my honour and privilege to serve you my Lord.”
“Of course it is. You may go.”
Can I even describe how cold and terrified I felt after hearing those words? How could I leave him? How could I lead him into a trap that would certainly mean his death? I knew Voldemort and I knew the ways of the Death Eaters well. They would have me torture him to prove that he meant nothing to me, so that he could see he was only a tool and I cared nothing for him as he always suspected and would whisper to me in the dark of the night when I would hold him after a particularly sweaty session.
Feeling and emotion came so easy to him. I marvelled at his ability to find love and caring in even the most hard-hearted of people – look at me. He found that one grain, that inkling of humanity left inside me and let it blossom and grow into something that could be considered beautiful. He didn’t need to try, he could create love everywhere he went like a nymph or sprite, just as mythical, just as beautiful.
I had promised him he would never fall without me, and here I was preparing to push him over the edge.
Every time I see you all the rays of the sun are
Streaming through the waves in your hair
and every star in the sky is taking aim at
your eyes like a spotlight
During Quidditch games I was always mesmerized by watching him, his jet-black hair lit from within by his own personal radiance and sunlight. It didn’t matter if he played in the rain, I could see inside him and it frightened me as much as it fascinated me. I could watch him for hours, studying and analysing him as a bug under glass, making note of his weaknesses and writing them down to be sent off to the man who was going to Mark me upon delivery.
I had no reason to be afraid.
I have been raised a pawn and would spend my life being a pawn. Free will means nothing, carrying out the orders of a higher power was all that mattered.
Or so I had been taught.
Yet it was a dismal and empty future. I didn’t want it anymore. I had been exposed to something deadlier than the noxious potions that Snape brewed. The light that made Potter…well Potter engulfed me and I had suddenly seen what colour and warmth were.
I didn’t want to leave it.
The beating of my heart is a drum, and it\'s lost
and it\'s looking for a rhythm like you
you can take the darkness at the pit of the night
and turn into a beacon burning endlessly bright
I was more than a little confused at my feelings the longer we were together. I had two days left before the trap would be sprung and I would be free. Is that why I was so tense and my heart accelerated? What was happening to me? What was this spell that Potter had put me under so quickly and efficiently?
The whole school seemed to be buzzing with an unnamed tension, was it because I was more alert that I noticed it or simply because I was one of the few causing it? It was no secret that there was going to be a huge Death Eater movement in the next few days and the only questions were who was involved and which students would be forever changed? I knew that there were going to be people from every house not just Slytherin and that made my blood run cold. At least with a Slytherin you knew they were safely in the dorms, away from certain people…but a Gryffindor Death Eater…
I shn’t n’t care, it’s not like Potter will be alive to reap the destruction that was coming. His days were down to two.
Why did that knowledge make me physically ill?
I\'ve gotta follow it \'cause everything I know
Well, it\'s nothing \'til I give it to you
“Potter,”
“Yes Draco?”
“Do you remember the question?”
A blush. “Of course.”
I pulled him near. “It’s later than you think.”
He blinked at me in shock and surprise as his jaw dropped. “What are you saying?”
From a well – I know not where, came courage I never knew I possessed. “I’m saying that you can make love to me Harry.”
The smile that lit up his face rivalled the sun. Why did they call Apollo the shining one? I had him here in bed, and he was about to give his light to me.
Our foreheads met as we leaned against each other, our breath intermingling until it was all that could be heard. I brought his trembling hand up to my chest and pressed it against my heart so he could feel. It had never truly beat until that moment, and once he was gone it would never beat again. I held myself still, waiting to see what he would do and wetness on his cheeks made me start. I didn’t ask him why he was crying and he didn’t bother to tell me.
Slowly my pristine shirt was unbuttoned and my t-shirt underneath pulled off. Though he had seen my torso countless times, this time he drew in a strangled breath as his lips came forward to engulf a nipple and torment me. One of my hands tangled in his hair as I clutched him to my chest wanting to weep myself.
He sat up and pulled off his shirt and tie. For the first time I marvelled at the muscles in his arms, arms that would now hold me as I had held him. The movement of his hands transfixed me as he unbuckled his belt and undid his trousers, letting them fall to the floor. Socks were thrown somewhere over the edge of the bed – I know not where nor did I care. I had more important things to think about other than socks.
He laid me back with a tenderness I never knew he had. It surprised me even as it soothed me. I let him slowly remove my trousers, lifting my hips as he dragged them down my legs with my boxers, caressing the flesh he found. I bit my lip to hold back a moan, not regretting for a single moment what I was about to let him do. When I was as nude as he was he draped his body over me and began again. His lips and tongue were all over my chest, pausing briefly at my mouth where I tried to climb inside him never wanting this moment to end. There was no sound, just our laboured breathing and hitches in breath as he discovered every erogenous zone and sensitive spot I had.
When his hot fist clutched around my cock I had to fight back a yell. I had never known it could feel like this, be like this. He tortured me, as he loved me, each touch bringing sweet agony, denying me release. His mouth engulfed me as I arched off the bed, his mouth sucking and nibbling giving me sensations I had never felt before. I was so hard it hurt, as he toyed with my bollocks and rubbed my damp cock against his cheek. He slid up my body and rubbed our cocks together making me almost weep at the delicious friction as one of his hands crept down my outer and and began to prepare me.
My legs fell open as I granted him full access. Did I trust him? Did I care if he killed me in this moment? Nothing mattered except the joining we were going to do. His eyes were glowing, lit from within by his own internal light and they hypnotized me as his hand flirted with my cock and my opening. It was more than I could stand as I opened my mouth in a silent scream at the beautiful pain.
I felt the blunt head of him begin to push past my opening and I prayo reo relax and clutched him tightly. The skin of his cock grazed the delicate flesh of my arse as he slid ever deeper. I was filled, every bit of me, so full with his cock and his tongue. His hand fisted my cock as his other one tangled in my hair. Our lips were millimetres apart as the only air my lungs got came from his mouth and vversversa. I felt a trickle of blood seep down my arse at the invasion, tearing me apart and putting me back together. I hadn’t known that I was so fragile until he was inside me. To this day it was the most intense moment of my life.
Where did he end and I begin? He was inside me. I marvelled at the feeling as he kissed me, murmuring words of love and reassurance, beginning to thrust into my willing body, touching the sweetest of spots. This is what it felt like to have a cock inside you, to have a piece of another human being in your body.
Was I trying to suck him in deeper or push him out? Even now I’m nntirntirely sure. His name was my mantra and I prayed to him as I met his every thrust, wishing he was a God and could save me. Our hands were everywhere, our sweat mingling together, the sound of our bodies and the rocking of the bed all that mattered. As I climaxed I wept, not certain of what he said as he came inside me, filling me with his warm seed – for a moment I shared in the glow that was within him. I wished to keep a bit of him within me forever, for it would be all that would be left of him soon.
My last bit of coherency was that he wept still, his tears falling on my chest and face, mingling with my own. In that moment before slumber overtook me I realized that he knew.
I can make the runner stumble
I can make the final block
I can make every tackle at the sound of the whistle
I can make all the stadiums rock
He left the bed as I curled into myself, realizing I had lost more than my virginity to him. Somewhere along the lines of this assignment I had given him my heart. I could no more betray him than I could deny the will of my father. I would turn up without him and instead of him dying, I would. In the deepest act of trust that I allowed him, I told him everything he needed to . I . I had taught him well.
“Harry,” I had asked, my voice hoarse and trembling.
“Draco.”
“Will you come walk with me tomorrow night? There is something I want to show you.”
Resignation had settled over his features and betrayal. I had caused the light inside him to go out. “Of course.”
When he was gone I felt emptiness inside and knew my heart had stopped beating. Why did I feel so guilty? I was being dutiful; I was obeying orders.
That was the longest night of my life.
I can make tonight for
o
or I can make it disappear by the dawn
I can make you every promise that has ever been made
and I can make all your demons be gone
I reached out a hand to him, wanting him to spurn me as he had so long ago. Could he hear my thoughts screaming at him not to come near me? He smiled so sadly as he embraced me and kissed me. “I love you Draco,” he had whispered. “No matter what I do not regret anything.”
I wanted to be cool and aloof to him, to play ignorant and not know what he was talking about, but I could not. We both knew, the time for lies had passed. “Run.” I whispered into his ear. “Go. Now.”
He shook his head. “No Draco, this has to happen. It gives me hope knowing that you don’t do this willingly.”
“How did you know?” I ask before reaching for the Portkey.
He shrugged slightly. “I always knew.” He had kissed my forehead softly. “I held you in my arms, wiped your tears and banished your demons in the night. You spoke to me in your sleep.”
“Why don’t you leavw?” w?” I had pleaded.
“It is time.” He had answere
I
I thought I was the cryptic one.
But I\'m never gonna make it without you
Do you really wanna see me crawl?
We had Portkeyed into a nightmare, a ring of Death Eaters headed up by Voldemort. Blaise looked faintly surprised that I had delivered Potter and nodded to me in approval. I could not tear my eyes from him, if this was going to be the last time I ever saw him, I wanted memories to last all my life. The glow was back inside him, whether that meant he had made his peace and was prepared to die or was gathering everything within him for a final strike I’ll never know.
“Kneel.” Was the only thing Voldemort said to him.
“No.” was his only reply.
Chaos was unleashed as Aurors, Unspeakables and the entire DA was unleashed around us. Spells began flying, confundus charms, body binds and more than a few Unforgivea. I . I could not for a moment tear my eyes off of Harry and Voldemort and knew that despite it all, theal Bal Battle had arrived.
I cannot speak of the spells cast nor of the reactions of the two combatants, all I knew was that I would not walk off this field if Harry did not live. He was starting to fade, the power of Voldemort too great even for his surprise spells. “I love you Harry.” I whispered knowing he would never hear it.
Somehow…something came flying out of Harry’s wand as he radiated light in the field making everything stop as everyone stared at him. A red phoenix appeared to fly from his body, circle and head towards Voldemort who was unable to move. He could not speak, he could only watch knowing that the phoenix was his death.
I turned away, not wanting to see anything further. My eyes were sheltered from the blast as I crawled to Harry who had dropped to his knees and held him, feeling his shallow breath.
“How?” was all I asked.
Harry had smiled enigmaticaand and promptly fell unconscious. Even after I was surrounded I would not let him go.
And I\'m never gonna make it like you do
Making love out of nothing at all.
Harry made a slow recovery while I was imprisoned in Azkaban, not that I cared. He was alive. The biggest shock came the day my cell door opened and he stepped inside, taking in the surroundings and then looking at me.
“No regrets Malfoy?” he had asked, a smile on his face.
“Not a one.”
He held out his hand and I realized that per wha whatever deity existed had heard my silent prayers and brought my redemption to me. I had one chance to save myself. His hand was held out before me like a lifeline.
I grabbed it.
So here I am, living more or less contentedly with Potter – despite the fights we have over Weasley, Granger and basically anything else. He pulled me from the bleak despair that was my life and brought me to the light. Of course I am still a Slytherin, I will always be cunning and my new life goal is make Weasley turn as many shades of furious red as I can think of.
Harry told me that it was admission of love that gave him the extra power needed to call upon the phoenix that killed Voldemort. Truly love is stronger than magic, something that still amazes me. I have scorned and derided the emotion, an was was only through my acceptance of it that I was able to help the man I loved win against darkness. I don’t feel so much like a two faced traitor when I think of it.
I watch Harry still, knowing I will never have his talent of finding love in the most unlikely of places and caring even less. It adds to the mystery that is Harry James Potter, his ability to make love out of nothing at all.