WHAT IF LOVE KILLS

WHAT IF LOVE KILLS
(or \'EL AMOR PERJUDICA SERIAMENTE LA SALUD\')


1. THE SAFEST PLACE THEY COULD FIND


Harry had never known what it took Draco to be his father\'s son. Never, before he learnt what a mixture of admiration and fear it required. He had never been interested in power, never n ton to it.

Never, before Lucius Malfoy came his way. And for Harry, now standing with a knife in his hand above his enemy, perfectly smug even in his sleep, it was not obvious whether love or hate is controlling him into this. This choice he had to make now, this choice he still had a chance to make before it was too late. A choice that couldn\'t be right or wrong, only his own, too urgent to hesitate, to crucial to rely on anything but his heart. And boy how difficult it is to know what it really wants sometimes!

For good or bad this man lying there was too deep in Harry\'s very core to leave it as it was. There was no turning back. He might never have another chance. Trembly but resolute Harry took a deep breath and the steel flickered in the moonlight...

***

\'Harry, you may come in now! I am sure standing in a pose like that is not too convenient. After all you do have a right to know what is waiting for you.\'

Harry who indeed was inconveniently leaning to the door eager not to miss a single word, opened it rather shyly but then making up his mind stepped firmly inside Snape\'s office. In fact who if not he had all the rights to know where he would be sent to.

Ignoring the sourest stare from the Potions master Harry sank into the closest chair. Snape however did not dare saying anything in front of the Headmaster. At least not yet. They had more urgent problem sol solve than finally teaching Potter some manners. But who knows how long could Snape hold himself back?

\'We cannot let you stay at school now Harry.\' Dumbledore continued.

\'But professor, I don\'t want to leave, especially now. Now that the war began. Haven\'t you always said that Hogwarts is the safest place one can find?\'

\'No Harry, that choice is too evident and therefore too risky for us. Professor Snape here will take you to a place you will never be looked for\'
\'

\'Then Headmaster I still think that the headquarters will be the best option.\'

(\'oh, who is asking you professor Snape?\' Harry thought)

\'No, Severus we will not be able to keep a constant watch on Harry there. We must find something unpredictable, something unexpected.\'

\'But professor, I don\'t think...\'

\'Potter, why don\'t you think that the Headmaster knows better? Shouldn\'t we let him decide then what to do?\'

\'(And I started worying if you had a frog stuck in your throat?) Yes, professor, I can\'t but agree that professor Dumbledore decide where I am going\'

The glare Harry received told him that Snape had come to an end of his self-controlling abilities. And Harry was in no mood for taking any shit from him. (\'It used to take him longer in previous years. Nerves?\' Harry thought with grim satisfaction). But the about-to-break quarrel was corked by Dumbledore raising his hand.

\'Actually I have already thought of a place where you can stay for now and certain arrangements were made for it. I hope that it will fulfil our expectations.\'

Harry was not too ecstatic. He will definitely not be allowed to take friends with him whenever he was going. But he couldn\'t be unenthusiastic about learning where it would be.

\'Unfortunately I cannot tell you for now where you are heading too, Harry not to tempt you into telling your friends about it. Not that they will be able to find you even if you do. But we still will act with every possible precaution. We both know that I\'ve made mistakes but you will have to trust me this once. Me and professor Snape.\'

\'What does he have to do with me?\'

\'If you think that I will enjoy it Potter may I hint you that I am far from it?\'Snape\'s stare proved it best.

\'Severus, let me talk to him. Alone.\'

Grumbling something about arrogant I-know-all students Snape left trying hard not to slam the door after him.

As soon as he was out of sight Harry broke out:\' Professor Dumbledore, I know you trust him but can\'t you find somebody more... er... friendly?\'

\'Harry, I do trust professor Snape and more than anyone now. And there is Hagrid of course (with that Harry\'s face brightened) but we will need strong magical powers here (light faded). And... yes, there is also one thing you should know. Do you remember about Secret Keepers?\'

\'You mean one of them was Wormtail?\'

\'Yes, Harry and you will need one too. And before you stat arguing I would like to reassure you that I consider this person able to risk his life if it can save you no matter what you think of him.\'

\'I do hope that we are not talking about Snape here?\'

\'We are Harry, actually talking about professor Snape here.\'

\'But...\'

\'Harry please listen to me. I know that you would prefer somebody else, and that you are ... hardly his favorite student but he has done much more things for us all and though he is not too pleased with the task he is absolutely trustworthy to be sticking to it to whatever end.\'

Harry was sure that Hermione or Ron would be no worse for that thing but knew better than to argue. He rushed to the dormitory for packing and if he hadn\'t tried so hard to pretent that Snape didn\'t exist he would have noticed that the Potions master was not too happy becoming the master of Harry\'s destiny either.

*

\'YOU ARE KIDDING!!!!!\'

\'No, Ron, it\'s true. Seems that you are also not very enthusiastic about it?\'

\'Enthusi-what???? Harry, if he ever had a better chance to finish you off then I am a motherfucking Malfoy indeed!!!\'

\'But he did save you Harry, and there is definitely a reason for Dumbledore to trust him.\'

\'Hermione! howiousious that reason has to be to believe that he will not celebrate the day Harry will stop being the boy-who-lived??\'

\'Ron, it\'s not funny! and not true of course! do you imagine how people will be worried when Harry will leave tonight?

\'Oh, I can picture Draco and Snape decorating the Slytherin common room singing \'Merry Christmas\'!!!\'

\'Guys, won\'t you just stop it, all right?\' Harry dreaded the evening more than both of them together but their quarrelling wasn\'t adding any pleasures to the situation. \'I told you just because I don\'t want to have any secrets but there is nothing any of us can do. So let\'s just spend what we got left together without discussing it. I don\'t want to think of it, at least not until after couple of hours.\'

After Harry had packed they sat in the common room and the more they tried to cheer up the gloomier they each felt. It was not at all like saying good-bye for summer holidays. They had no idea when they would meet or even where to write to.

Something seemed to improve in Hermione\'s mood. \'Harry you can send us an owl once in a while to let us know you are alright!! you can do it every day even! we will not write back but I am sure Hedwig will find his way to you!\'

\'Don\'t want to disappoint you but I am not allowed to take Hedwig with me.\'

\'Oh,.. so we will just have to wait for you coming back then...\'

That gave all of them another wave of dispair. When will Harry be coming back? After Voldemort\'s defeat? and when is that? It took the wizarding world 16 years to realihat hat he is alive and back. How long will it be before he is gone? if he will be gone???

The parting was indeed sad. No one was actually informed that Harry Potter was leaving Hogwarts and they were all alone in the dark Entrance Hall. Them and Snape. Harry, Ron and Hermione circled for the last good-byes but were too overwhelmed to say a word. Finally
Hermione threw herself on Harry and squeezed him.

\'Take care!\' and darted away qith her face buried in her hands.

\'Well, mate...\' Ron choked. \'See you soon then\'. He strode away, trying to act calm but in front of Snape he stopped.

\'If you try and... if you dare to... if you only...\'

\'Oh yes Weasley, I will have to report to you then I guess.\'

\'I am sure there are much more people you will have to report to, professor.\' And with that he was gone too.

No one dared to approach Ron that night. It was hard to tell whether he was angry or sad. He was sitting in the common room long after midnight, consoling Hermione, muttering, with his fists clenched, and eyes redder than the fire reflected hem.hem. The Gryffindor tower fell into a sleep to Ron sobbing and people whispering. The castle woke up to the rumor that Harry Potter had disappeared.

*

\'Ready, Potter?\'

Snape made to open the door but Harry was there first. He didn\'t feel like leaving Hogwarts at all, but if had to do it he\'d rather do it quick. It felt terrible going away and the fact that he was going to wherever with Snape add no fun to it.

Harry was about to step outside when he remembered about his trunk. He turned around and almost bumped into Snape who was following him closely.

\'Er,.. my things... professor.\'

\'They are already there Potter. Move now!\' Snape sneered knowing only too well that how little meaning this \'there\' had for Harry and that the obscurity was actually driving him mad.

Harry\'s eyes flashed with anger but he strained himself and with his back on Snape started walking away with all his speed. He was resolute not to talk any more and forbade himself to ask any questions not to give the Potions master any reason for glee. Harry wanted this over as soon as possible, he was only dreaming now of being left alone. Anything, anywhere would be not so bad, he thought, as long as it was Snape-free.

He soon found it difficult to put on the air of complete independence. He had no idea where to go, he was not even sure in which way or direction they were leaving Hogwarts grounds. As reluctant as he was to admit it but he still needed Snape to lead the way.

Harry stopped his pace as abruptly as he had began it watching the grass with an anabated restrest. He would indeed find anything fascinating just not to have to look at the smugness of his teacher\'s face, when Snape caught up with him. Harry let him pass and was now walking behind, glaring at the mass of greasy black hair. He had expected bad things to happen to him this year but it was the worst one for it was unexpected at all.

Snape showed no sigh of caring whether Harry was following him or not. He went on steadily, making wide steps without the slightest turn of his head, unconcerned in anything but his own way.

\'Oh, yeah, right, he is just perfect for the job!\' muttered Harry \'He will notice nothing even if I am attacked under his very crooked nose. How is he supposed to be my Secret Keeper if he doesn\'t even care if I am here or not?\' he went on to himself, sounding rather offended, though it was the way he had always preferred his Potions teacher - silent and ignorant of his presence.

\'Though I have to admit he is not totally indifferent to the fact of my existance.\' Harry grinned, but his smile bore no sign of joy.

They passed Hagrid\'s cabin and Harry was even hoping to get at least a glimpse of him somewhere. He had not even had a chance to say good-bye and there was no guarantee they\'d see each other soon enough. But Hagrid was nowhere in sight. That certainly worked discouragingly on Harry (not that he lacked discouragement at the moment). Instead of a friendly face he had only a hostile back to look at, looming in front of him.

Their route was very familiar but Harry was surprised it had been chosen in the first place. His decided silence was wavering but he tried to put his mind to other things.

It turned out hard indeed for Harry to find something pleasant to look forward to and thinking of Hogwarts or anything he had left behind was unbearable at the moment. His thirst for information was winning over his lack of desire to talk to Snape. He knew he could fail, but he could put on some politeness to get at least some vague notion of what was going on.

\'May I ask you, professor, where are we going, sir?\' Harry asked after fifteen minutes of walking deep into the Forbidden Forest.

He had been wandering here so many times he probably knew it as well as Hagrid did. But to be going through its darkness and whisperings with somebody they shared a deep mutual loathing was not Harry\'s idea of a safe travel. It took him a while to come up with a phrase like this and it might have sounded too unusually polite for him. Snape, smirking, seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

\'No, Potter, you may not.\' He was obviously enjoying his position. \'Was it hard for you to get by now that you are not supposed to know it?\'

\'I am just wondering, sir, if there aren\'t any other ways of travelling in the wizarding world.\'

\'So you still think yourself to be smarter than anybody else in this world, don\'t you Potter? No one but you knows about all the ways wizards travel?\'

\'Is it so difficult just to explain?\' snarled Harry, finally losing his temper. \'Er,.. sir?\' he added remembering his manners.

Snape stopped to look at him as if judging how much he could allow himself to say and then turned away again and continued walking his head forward, talking as he went.

\'You can not disapparate yet, and even if you could we wouldn\'t be able to apparate in the place we are heading to.\' his voice sounded monotonous, he was trying hard not to get himself wound up. \'Floo Network is watched closely by the Ministry and we don\'t need extra people to know were you are. Portkeys are too tracible and we can\'t use brooms because... OUCH, Potter!\'

Harry had to follow him so close to listen that when he accidently tripped he pushed Snape hard in the back.

\'Sorry, professSo wSo what were you saying about brooms?\' Harry added quickly, fearing he had spoilt everything. His guess was very close to being true.

\'We don\'t use brooms Potter because we don\'t.\' the Potions master snap obv obviously not eager to continue.

\'But professor, sir, why are we doing it on foot? Is the place close by? Are you planning to hide me in the Forest or what? Where..?\' all Harry\'s questions found their way out at last but he was cut off rather rudely.

\'Can\'t you just keep your mouth shut?\' Snape hissed through clenched teeth, straining himself not to fly off the handle.

Harry opened his mouth to say something just as \'nice\' but knew better it was no good anyway. oundound it extremely difficult to keep calm while Snape was having the time of his life torturing him, but no matter how much Harry wanted to get the man irritated he still didn\'t like the idea of actually witnessing him lose control. Harry had not been given a single hint on how long this travel might last and knew quarrelling would not make it more enjoyable.

He wouldn\'t get his questions answered now so what was the point envoicing them? Feeling all of a sudden totally indifferent to his own fate Harry stared at the path under his feet and the rest of the journey was a complete silence but for the rustle of leaves.

It was unlikely that Harry noticed where they were going, hardly aware that they had already left the forest at last. He cast a dazed glance at the sight arowhicwhich was absolutely unfamiliar. He looked not interested in the fact that they were getting into the carriage and his lethargy was certainly not daunted by a Thestral in front of it. The same blank expression he wore through the long hours of dragging along the indistinct road.

Harry\'s lack of curiosity seemed after a while to be affecting Snape, who was unnerved by this unexpected change of attitude and was throwing nasty disbelieving looks at Harry almost willing to pick something up for a quarrel. The boy\'s behaviour was however ideal and the disappointment made Snape\'s face even more surlier than ever. But Harry was almost dozing, droned by the sound of wheels to notice anything.

The carriage came to a hault while Harry came to his senses to find himself leaving it outside some gate in the midst of what looked like yet another forest to him. He would have even believed they had been going in circles but for the view it was a place someone certainly lived in. The lawns and the trees and the flowerbeds were carefully and skilfully looked after, no buildings visible in the green, but the altogether quiet picture gave Harry a sudden feeling of foreboding. He had no choice whatsoever but he didn\'t like going inside at all.

By the fact that Snape tapped his wand at the gate to open, it was sealed magically and Harry assumed whatevt wat was this place, no Muggles lived there. The carriage was still there when they entered and started walking along the main road inside.

\'Either we are not staying here long or he is leaving me here and not staying long. I would much appreciate the second variant if I can\'t help it.\' Harry thought, not sharing his wishes with Snape though sure they would reach an unusual unanimity in this matter.

The boy took in every detail, not knowing why he was so intent in the first place. Everything around was undoubtedly beautiful and gracious, but unnaturally still and, he could find no other word for it, cold. Like everything around even the birds were not alive, but just seemed a vivid image of real ones.

Harry started even dread the idea of being left here alone. He would die before admitting huld uld prefer Snape\'s company to anything but still, still... Harry\'s life was connected with his Potions teacher in every way, not willingly but it was, and he was from Hogwarts, and he knew his friends, and he was trying to protect him after all and... well. Harry could always count on Snape for a bit of arguing, couldn\'t he? He was his least favourite person but he was a living creature and you could make his emotions show. And this place felt onimously dead. Though it was deserted it made Snape\'s company feel peaceful somehow.

They turned round a particularly bushy corner, Snape still in the lead (not aware of warm feeling towards him suddely rising in his student\'s heart) when that student, who was most reluctantly following stopped dead. It was like htmostmost fear had proven even worse.

They were now facing the front of a huge mansion, that looked more like a fortress to Harry - strong, secured but definitely not safe.
It was a gorgeous fortress nevertheless. Fabulously shaped, black and smooth, looking more like made of silk than of stone. It was visible in the sun but not illuminated by it. It glittered in the rays of the sunset but the red light seemed to be freezing, touching the walls, instead of warming them.

Harry shuddered trying not to think he would have to stay there. His mouth dry he still was about to try and ask Snape to go back when he suddenly realised he didn\'t mind having a closer look at the house after all. He was drawn to the power emanating from every line of itg. It was a feeling just like you know something as completely dangerous but you can\'t help reaching out for it.

He hurried towards it not able to take his eyes away, clueless of what influenced such a change in him. He took no notice of how he caught up with Snape and was only aware of leaving him behind when he was the first to come up the dark marble staircase.

And then... he couldn\'t make himself open it. He did not find it attractive any more. How did he fail to understand that it was not a refuge but a trap?

Harry stood horror-struck waiting for Snape to come close. He was looking at the front door, his eyes fixed on the family crest embossed on it. He had finally realised whom this house belonged to.