What It's Like to Be a Girl

Title: What It's Like to Be a Girl

Author: Lux (quietlygorgeous@hotmail.com)

Feedback: not needed but greatly appreciated

Rating: R

Pairing: SS/HP; mild DM/HP

Summary: Harry has to spend a day in Hermione's school uniform

Archive: falling to pieces; anyone else just ask

Warnings: slight non-con, kink, abuse of satin panties, angst, humor

Disclaimer: The devil made me do it! I'm going to hell and I'm taking you all with me. Muhahaha. Seriously though, I own nothing and hell doesn't exist

Author's Note: I got this idea from one of KC's MSTs. One line about schoolgirl uniforms and it blossomed into a drabble and KC insisted I write more. So I did. Around page 9, it switches a little and Severus changes to Snape and then back again. It's the transition between Snape the Professor and Severus, Harry's Shag bunny. Thanks to KC for RPing with me and for indulging my HPS fascination and for just being her.

What It's Like to Be a Girl
>:: >::

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. Then again, when you play Truth or Dare with Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, everything seems like a good idea until you actually have to do it.

Harry sighed and stared down at his plate. The catcalls and whistles had ruined his appetite when he'd entered the Great Hall that morning. He felt naked and exposed in a set of Hermione's school clothes. He could picture the Daily Prophet front page very clearly: The-Boy-Who-Lived: Closet Transsexual?

He wished one of the teachers would tell him to stop being indecent and give him the opportunity to change into his regular uniform. He knew the skirt was obscenely short and barely covered anything. Hermione had offered to conjure up some fake breasts so he could really carry out the part. Harry had glared at her until she backed down. It was bad enough that Dean had insisted that he wear a pair of red satin panties with gold trim. Harry didn't ask where he had found them.

He shifted uncomfortably on the bench at the Gryffindor breakfast table and gasped softly as the satin panties rubbing cleanly against his penis. He looked around to make sure no one had heard him and shifted again. A spark of pleasure burned in his loins. It was the most electrifying experience he'd ever had except for Severus Snape's hand down his pants. Severus!

Harry looked towards the head table andrly rly came in his little pair of satin panties. The look his lover had bestowed on him was something out of one of Harry's more explicit fantasies. His black eyes were blazing a sof fif fire that caused Harry to ache and want and need. Harry bit his lip and tried to will his erection away but a slight shift of his hips and he gasped again. Damn those panties! He had never been so glad for classes to start just so he could get away from the smoldering gaze from the head table. All he wanted was to sit in Severus' lap and grind against him. Harry wondered if the panties were starting to affect more than just his penis.

::

All through Care of Magical Creatures, Harry could feel a pair of eyes on him. He wasn't sure whom they belonged to but the gaze was burning two delicate holes in the back of his robes. It was one more discomfort that was not welcome. Every nerve of Harry's body was tingly and taut from the insanely erotic sensation of satin caressing his crotch. Every twist and turn caused the slick material to rub against him. Harry was sure that he would be a quivering mass by the end of the day.

There was a fifteen-minute break between Care of Magical Creatures and Defense Against the Dark Arts. It left Harry plenty of time to get from Hagrid's hut to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom but also for him to walk as slowly as possible. The satin panties were acting like tiny fingers and he feared that if he walked too quickly those tiny fingeouldould become a very firm fist. Being in Hermione's uniform was embarrassing enough without the possibility of coming in those tiny satin panties. The mere thought left him red cheeked and panting.

He was taking deep breaths and was nearly to the classroom when he was grabbed and pulled into a dark corridor. The lean body of Draco Malfoy pressed up against him. "Hello, Potter."

Harry scowled. "Malfoy."

Draco smiled, a gleam in his eye that had always made Harreasyeasy, and caressed him through the short pleated skirt. "Never thought you would look so good in a skirt."

Harry's eyes nearly rolled back into his head. He was finally being touched but by the wrong person! He silently willed his hips not to buck into the touch that he craved and continued to scowl at Draco. "Take your hands off me." But there was nothing else Harry could do in his lust-fogged brain as Drpinnpinned Harry's wrists above his head leaving him completely immobile from the waist up. Harry mewled his protests as Draco's hand slid inside the satin panties and curled around his erection.

Draco smiled when Harry moaned and began to plunder Harry's neck with his lips. Harry bit his own lip firmly to keep all other sounds inside his quivering body including the sob that was clawing to get out. He wanted to cry for help but all that would come out was another moan. Over Draco's shoulder he saw what he feared most: Severus was leaning against the opposite wall looking ready to kill. Harry tried to plead with his eyes but Severus wasn't looking at him.

"Mr. Malfoy." All ministrations of Harry's body stopped. He wasn't sure if he wanted to cry with relief or cry for the aching in his groin. "Are you so desperate that you have to resort to rape?" One thing was for sure, Harry had never been so happy to hear Severus' voice.

Draco let go of Harry's body immediately and moved to the other side of the corridor. "S-Sorry sir. Just a little bit of fun is all."

"Fun?" Draco nodded. "Tell me, Mr. Malfoy, does 250 points from Slytherin sound 'fun' to you?"

Draco sputtered. "But Sir!"

"Get outmy smy sight before I string you up by your intestines. And if I ever see you touch anyone ever again in this manner, I will make sure you're expelled in the most humiliating way possible." Harry had never seen anyone move that quickly save Neville Longbottom.

He leaned against the wall and tried to catch his breath. His erection was more painful than ever and thanks to Draco's little interlude Harry no longer had time to relieve himself in the bathroom before class. He felt hot angry tears prickling around his eyes as the ghost of Draco's hands still lingered on his body. He'd never felt so weak and helpless in all his life than in those few brief minutes that had seemed to last forever. He briefly wondered what happened to the Draco he had dated not too many months before.

"Are you alright, Mr. Potter?"

Oh fine time to play teacher, Harry thought bitterly but focused on the intense gaze. He wanted Severus to hold him and make the ghostly hands go away. "Fine," he ground out, tried to keep his voice from wavering and showing just how close to breaking he really was.

"Then 10 points from Gryffindor feingeing late to class." Severus leaned closer and tenderly stroked his cheek. "And 25 points to Gryffindor for being so sexy that I could swallow you whole right here." He was gone before Harry figured out whether he should moan or cry. He settled on something that sounded like a choked sob.

::

Defense Against the Dark Arts was miserable. Harry's face was flushed and he was sure he looked as bad as he felt. Hermione kept throwing sympathetic glances at him and Harry vowed to never call her a know-it-all ever again. Ron, on the other hand, was having as much fun as Seamus and Dean. They kept taunting Harry, asking if they could carry his books for him and openly checking out his ass. He was sure they would snap his bra if he had one. He heard Lavender shriek as Dean did just that. As he watched Lavender tearfully rub her abused spine, Harry realized just how much he despised boys.

At the end of class, Dean had tall all to rd Had Harry that he had to use the women's lavatory as part of the dare. Harry had never wanted so badly to kill someone who wasn't a Dark Lord. Hermione grabbed his arm and pulled him into the restroom before he lost his temper. She took him into one of the stalls and set him down on the toilet. "Are you alright?"

"No." He felt like he was going to be violently sick. His head was spinning and his hands were shaking.

Hermione stroked his hair away from his forehead. "It's just a dare, Harry. It doesn't mean anything."

"He...in the corridor." He swallowed around the bile edging up his throat along with the anger and flicker of shame. "This isn't a dare anymore," he said through gritted teeth. Hermione couldn't even pretend to understand what Harry meant. She just continued to stroke his hair from his face. "How do you do this everyday?" He finally asked. "How do you go through the day with boys snapping your bra and feeling you up in corridors and not being able to do anything?"

Hermione gave him a look akin to pity. "You get used to it."

"But you shouldn't have to!"

She shrugged. "Forget it, Harry." She helped him up and he growled. "Are you okay?"

"It's this stupid satin underwear! Can you wait outside for a minute?" Hermione stared at him before nodding and exiting the lavatory all together. Harry locked the door and quickly stroked himself to climax. He felt better than he had all day and debated on leaving the panties off but going commando in a skirt left way too little to the imagination. Besides, he was starting to like them even if they did drive him nuts. "Now that's something none of them have done." Harry smiled triumphantly when he emerged from the bathroom.

"What's that?"

"Masturbated in the girls bathroom." Hermione blanched.

::

"Harriet, darling! Can I carry your books, love?" Seamus cooed as Harry sat between Hermione and Ron.

"Fucking arsehole," Harry grumbled under his breath and began picking at his food in silent anger. It was quickly becoming too much for him to take as he listened to them make cracks. He concentrated on the fact that he would be able to see Severus tonight. Some of the anger flittered away as he thought of sitting with Severus by the hearth...

"Ooh he looks angry," Dean tsked.

...Severus kissing him...

Seamus crowed. "Maybe it's PMS!"

...Fucking Severus into next week...

"We should check to make sure he's still a guy." And Ron did the stupidest thing he could've done at that moment. He attempted to lift Harry's skirt.

"That's enough!" Harry yelled and slammed down his cutlery. Ron, Seamus, and Dean stared at him with mouths hanging open. They had never encountered this reaction before. The Great Hall was silent.

Ron regained his senses slightly sooner than the others. "Harry, what-"

"No! You're all going to sit there, shut up and LISTEN to me!" He glared as fiercely as he could and ignored the fact that he was wearing a skirt and satin panties and concentrated on his anger. "The way you've been treating me today is disgusting! Ever since I put on this skirt, it's been one humiliation after another!

"You don't have any RIGHT to treat anyone like you treated me today! And you treat real girls worse than this! Just-" to his immense shame, he felt tears of frustration coming. He grabbed his books and shoved them in his bags. "You DISGUST me!"

He turned around to walk away, but Dean grabbed his arm. "Harry, we were just jok-"

"Fuck OFF, Dean!" And then he stormed out of the Great Hall as quickly as he could.

Seamus turned towards his plate and swallowed. "Must be PMS." The other two boys nodded. Parvati scooped mashed potatoes onto her spoon. They hit Seamus on the headhead.

::

Harry sat in the crotch of an old tree that was at the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Its blossoms were fat and pink and created a false blanket so no one could see him. He sat and cried out the rest of his anger and frustration. He sniffled and wiped his glasses on his robes. He couldn't get warm with the absence of pants. Didn't the girls freeze in their skirts? Is that why the socks were so high? Harry couldn't understand it.

He pulled his robes tighter around his legs and pulled them to his chest. All he wanted was to find Severus and curl up in his arms but there was still Transfiguration and Potions left; two more classes to suffer through with the rest of the boys. Harry sniffled again and wished he had some thing that belonged to Severus to clutch. Today just kept getting worse and worse.

"There yeh go, Fang." Harry stopped breathing. "How d' yeh s'pose Harry's doin'? Mus' be tough goin' through the day dressed like a girl." Harry watched as Hagrid walked right under his tree. He knew he should've gone farther from Hagrid's hut. "He really shouldn' miss class, though, should yeh, Harry?" Hagrid looked up and smiled at him but kept talking like Harry wasn't even there.

"He ha' a right ta say what he did at lunch today. Those boys really deserved ta hear it. But-" Hagrid stooped down to pet Fang. "-the girls should've been the ones ta say it. They have to put up with it every day an' I don't think this will help much. Tomorrow Harry can go back to bein' a boy an' all o' this will be forgotten. But I wonder if he'll change. I'm sure he never did any of the rotten things that Seamus, Dean, and Ron do but I don' think he did anythin' ta stop it, either. And tha' can be worse than doin' the deed." Harry's mouth opened and closed. Hagrid smiled and called for . ". "I have ta go prepare fer class." And walked away.

Harry stared after him completely dumb-founded. What would happen tomorrow? He slid out of the tree and briskly walked towards the castle. He couldn't - wouldn't - be late for class.

::

Hermione was waiting for him outside of the Transfiguration classroom. She grabbed him into a fierce hug. "Are you okay? Where have you been?"

He nodded. "I went for a walk."

She kissed his cheek. "Come on, we'll be late."

"Wait." He chewed the inside of his cheek. "I just. I'm sorry for all the things Seamus, Dean, and Ron have done to you."

Her smile faded a little bit. "But you didn't do anything."

Harry sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Exactly. I didn't stop them from hurting you and I'm sorry." He stared down at his feet and noticed that one of his socks had fallen. He bent down and pulled it back up. A passing Ravenclaw soundly smacked him on the ass. Harry straightened up and stepped on the end of the Ravenclaw's robes. "Excuse me."

The Ravenclaw looked surprised when he couldn't move any farther. "What are you doing?"

The chuckle Harry let out was low and malicious. "What am I doing? I'm asking you what the fuck you were thinking when you hit me on the arse?" The boy shrugged. Harry stared at him before he slammed the other boy against the wall. He winced. "Let's try this again, shall we? Why did you hit me at all?"

"I thought you were a girl."

Harry almost punched him but Hermione grabbed his arm. "Harry, don't. We're going to be late for class."

He shook her off. "Just because I'm dressed like a girl or she is-" Harry pointed to Hermione. "-doesn't give you the right to hit me or her. We are NOT here for you to put your grubby hands on."

The Ravenclaw smiled viciously. "We've all been wondering why you're dressed like that, Harry. Do you enjoy it? Everyone knows you're a fag-" Harry punched him across the jaw. The slippery pop was strangely satisfying.

The astonished and disgusted voice of Professor McGonagall wasn't far behind. "Potter!"

Harry turned to face her. "Professor."

"What do you have to say for yourself?"

Harry looked down at the now crumpled, moaning lump. He shrugged. "Whoops."

McGonagall's lips twitched. Harry hoped she was trying not to smile. "Finnigan, please escort Mr. Tompkins-" she pointed to the fallen Ravenclaw. "-to the infirmary. 40 points from Gryffindor, Potter, and detention. You may rejoin the class once your temper is in check." She closed the door with a bang.

Harry leaned against the wall and tried not to cry. Detention. Detention meant no time with Severus tonight. His breath was coming in quick, shallow pants. Don't panic, Harry, don't panic. Everything will be fine. You can see him some other time. Some other... He slid down to the floor and pulled his legs tost ast and hid his face. He was horny, humiliated, and now he had detention all because of Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan and their stupid sense of humor. He wished someone else would come by and make some snide comment just so he could beat the snot out of them. He already had detention, why not really make it worth it?

"Harry?"

He scowled. "What do you want, Seamus?"

Seamus slid down a few inches away from Harry. "I want to apologize."

Harry snorted. "Good for you. Now go away." Yes, Go away. I want to wallow by myself.

"I didn't-we didn't mean to make you so angry." Seamus played with the hem of his robes. "It was just a joke. You know how we are."

"I know exactly how you are." And that isn't a compliment.

Seamus scooted a little closer. "Harry?"

"What?" His anger was reaching a plateau again.

"What else happened today? We only did so much.."

Harry tensed and fought the urge to run away; his throat closed up. "Don't."

Seamus conceded. "Okay. I won't. I am sorry, though. Harry." Harry just nodded and pulled his legs closer. "This'll make you laugh. I heard some Hufflepuffs talking. Some of the girls want to get their boyfriends to dress up, too. Said it was sexy."

Harry just stared into the blackness of his robes. "Apparently the humor is lost on me." Because those boyfriends can go back to their dorms at the end of the day and shag their girlfriends senseless. I have detention and it'll be another week until I can see Sev and now I really need him. How come he's never here when I need him? But that wasn't quite true, he had been there in the corridor. Harry's shoulders began to shake violently. He wanted Severus. He needed Severus to get rid of this aching shame that was blooming inside his stomach. Draco Malfoy had turned him on. It was that stupid pair of satin panties and it was ruining his life. Harry didn't want to be a girl anymore.

Seamus watched as Harry's shoulders shook. He pressed again. "What happened, Harry? I know it wasn't just us."

"You should get to class."

"Please, Harry."

He hated it when Seamus begged. "No. Go to class."

Seamus stood up. "Fine." The door to the classroom closed and Harry sagged against the wall, tears streaming down his face. He really wasn't sure why he was crying. He hated crying. But it just seemed so fitting for some reason that he let the tears come and blur his vision. He made sure no one was around and grabbed his bag. He wanted to be alone. He just wanted to be alone. Gryffindor Tower was out. That was the last place he could go to get privacy and someone would notice that he was skipping class. The only place he really felt safe enough was Severus' private rooms.

Harry hauled himself up from the floor and cautiously made his way down to the dungeons. He barely breathed as he passed the Potions classroom. He was tempted to sit by the small opening at the bottom of the door so he could hear Severus yelling at whatever class he was terrorizing but that left too many possible errors. Harry wanted to be inside comforting walls before class was over. The last thing he needed was for Severus to think he had arrived early for class. He wouldn't have been able to slip out again.

Slipping carefully by the rest of the deserted classrooms, Harry breathed a loud sigh of relief when he made it to Severus' door. He whispered the password and pressed the middle of the doorknob. The door swung open and quick as lightning, Harry ran inside and slammed the door much louder than he had intended. His heart was beating at an accelerated rate and he barely made it to the bathroom before his stomach gave up and every single meal he had ever eaten was revisited inside that toilet until all that came was bile and empty gagging. When the heaves finally stopped, he leaned against the bathtub and wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his robe. There was a dull chime from the sitting room announcing the end of class. Harry had made it inside just in time.

Careful not to upset his stomach, Harry got up and brushed his teeth with Severus' toothbrush. He shook off his sullied robe and pulled one of Severus' massive black ones from a closet and slid it on. The sweet smell that was weaved into all of Severus' clothing assaulted his nostrils and a blanket of calm washed over him as he pulled the robe tighter around his lithe frame. Harry crawled into the middle of Severus' bed, pulled the curtains to block out all light, and fell asleep.

::

Snape shot a scathing glare at Draco Malfoy when the whelp entered the Potions classroom. His anger hadn't dissipated much and the mere sight of the boy made Snape's skin crawl. He had to hold himself back from gutting the boy from throat to groin and hanging his remains from the highest tower. Even if the imbecile deserved it and a thousand things worse than that.

Snape was pleased with Harry's show of balls during lunch that afternoon but for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why Harry had voluntarily worn a girls uniform. Even if Harry had looked incredibly sexy in it. The boy really did have wonderful looking legs.

He inwardly sighed and let his gaze travel over the full room of seventh years. His lips twitched when Neville only shivered from a draft. But something, besides Neville's new courage, was off. "Where is Mr. Potter?" Seamus, Dean, and Ron stared down into their empty cauldrons. "Miss Granger?"

Hermione twisted her wrists in a painful looking manor. "No one knows, sir."

Breathe, Severus, breathe. "What do you mean?" He managed to keep his voice low and neutral. He always asked when a student was missing from class.

Hermione swallowed. "Professor McGonagall told him to wait in the hallway until he got his anger under control-"

"-shattered Trevor's jaw-"

"-and at the end of class he wasn't there. He isn't in the tower or the infirmary." Hermione looked ready to break into a frantic panic and tear the whole castle to pieces. Snape couldn't blame her.

Just what I need - runaway Harry. "You'll see he gets the assignment when he decides to come out of hiding." It wasn't a question.

The class went by painfully slow as Snape nit-picked and ridiculed at every step. Draco nearly had an aneurysm when Neville's potion was better than his own. Snape couldn't help a little swell of pride. It was about time Neville started showing his Longbottom genes.

At the end of class, Hermione stayed behind. "Professor?" She fiddled with her bag strap. "Do you know where Harry is?"

Snape made sure no one else was in the room and placed a silencing bubble around his desk so no one could eavesdrop. "I have an idea. I think he's hiding in my room." At least he better be.

She bit her lip until the skin almost split. Everyone knew Hermione was more protective of Harry than Ron and with good reason. "Could I- could I come with you to check? That way I know whether to panic or not."

Snape took pity on heazzlazzled nerves and bade her follow him down the corridor to the door of his private rooms. He whispered the password and pressed the knob. Hermione cautiously entered behind him.

"There's his bag. At least he's been here." She became a little bolder and found the bathroom. "There's his robe..."

Snape stopped her before she entered the bedroom. "Wait in the sitting room. I'll see if he's here." I need to have some things left secret. She nodded and waited patiently in the next room. Snape slipped inside. "Harry?" He peaked behind the curtains on his bed and sighed with relief when he found a shallow-breathing lump in the middle of the bed.

"Is he there?" Hermione jumped up from the couch when Snape came back.

He nodded. "Harry's sleeping."

She let out a slow calming breath to keep her hands from shaking too wildly. "What should I tell everyone, sir? He has detention tonight."

"Dare I ask?"

Hermione bit her lip again and winced at the cracked skin. Geez, she thought, there's not that much of a difference between telling Professor Snape about Harry than telling Snape, Harry's - whatever. Except I don't think Snape gives him detention for giving bad head. Bad, Hermione! "He punched a Ravenclaw."

"That would be the shattered jaw Finnigan spoke of?"

She nodded. "Yeah. It was pretty bad."

Snape rubbed his head. "Tell Professor McGonagall that I found a punishment for Harry and he'll be spending the evening with me."

"But where did we find him?"

"Passed out in Moaning Myrtle's toilet. Use that clever Witch brain of yours."

"Yes, sir. You'll take care of him?"

He nodded. "I'll send him back before midnight if it's possible. You should leave before anyone notices your absence as well."

"Yes, sir. Good-night, sir."

He soundly closed the door behind her. Sighing and rubbing his aching head, Snape went back to the bedroom and pulled back the curtains around the bed. "Wake up, Harry."

Harry shifted and pulled the covers over his head. Busted. "Go 'way."

Snape tugged at the blanket as a spark of anger ignited in his stomach. "I heard about the Ravenclaw-boy. What in the world were you thinking? Not to mention coming to my room in the middle of the day and getting everyone riled up. Use your head for once."

Harry curled up as tightly as possible as his stomach clenched. Why did I even bother coming here? I'd rather face a whole tower full of inquisitive Gryffindors than him being angry with me.

"I'm waiting, Harry."

Harry scowled and crawled off the bed from the other side and marched to the door. "I'll see you later."

"Stop. Right. There. Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving. You obviously don't want me here."

Snape felt the urge to bang his head against the wall. "I never said that. What's going on, Harry? Why did you break his jaw?"

He stiffened, clenched his first until his knuckles turned white. "He smacked my arse."

"And that's reason to hit him? Oh yes, your logic is completely justified."

"Don't patronize me!" He yelled. "I've taken enough shit from everyone today. The last person I need it from is you."

"Why did you hit him, Harry?"

"Because I was angry! Okay? I'm angry because I was helpless in that corridor this morning because of these stupid satin panties and my friends were treating me like shit. My friends! And then this arrogant son-of-a-bitch smacks my arse because I looked like a girl. You know what he said to me? "Everyone knows you're a fag." Like that just explained everything. So I hit him."

Snape blinked at him for a minute and then leered at his crotch. "You're wearing satin panties?"

Harry blushed several shades of scarlet. "Yes."

Right, beside the point! Stay on topic. For now. "Okay. So you shattered his jaw and you got detention."

He nodded. "Pretty much. All because of this stupid uniform."

"Right. And perhaps you'd care to enlighten me as to why, exactly, you're wearing that?" Not that I'm complaining...

Harry sighed and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Truth or Dare with the guys last night." Snape made a 'go on' motion with his hand. "Okay. Seamus and Dean changed the rules around fifth year. You ask someone a truth and if they decline, they have to do the dare regardless of what the dare is. But you can't know the dare before the truth question. Following so far?"

Snape nodded. "And this horrible truth that you couldn't reveal?"

"They wanted to know who I'm sneaking out to see all the time. No one can figure it out so they decided to force me into it. This is my 'punishment' for keeping my mouth shut."

He stared at the rapidly breathing boy on the bed. "Ah."

Harry rubbed his eyes. He would not cry again. Even though he was still really tired and his whole body ached and he was pretty sure he smelled like vomit. "Do me a favor. Next time you see Malfoy feeling me up in a corridor, don't just touch my cheek and go away, okay? I really needed you today." His voice was hard and accusing.

Snape blinked several times. "What, did you want me to finish where Malfoy left of?"

Harry gaped and blushed. "Yes. No! I wanted you to- to, I don't know, show me you cared. Show me you have some humanity in that ice cube you call a heart."

Snape's eyes flashed fire. "I think you did. I think you wanted me to press you against the wall and finish bringing you off in the middle of the corridor, where anyone could see you. We must discuss these exhibitionistic tendencies you've shown lately."

"No! I just wanted you to act like you cared about me. You just came in and took points and all you did was ask me if I was all right. Of course I wasn't all right! He would've raped me if you hadn't been there." Harry could still feel Draco's hand around his wrists and against his thigh. He wrapped his arms around himself in a desperate hope to feel comfort and protection.

"But I was, you idiot! I always am. When will you learn that?"

"I don't know! Maybe never but I really needed you to at least hug me." Harry tightened his arms around his shoulders and stared at the floor. "That's what I've wanted from you all day," he whispered.

Severus sighed and pulled Harry into his arms. "Foolish child. All you had to do was wait."

He sniffled. "I didn't want to wait. I wanted you to just.. be there."

"I'm here now," he murmured and caressed that back of Harry's neck.

Harry nuzzled against Severus' neck. "Can I stay here tonight?"

Severus looked down for a moment before brushing his lips again Harry's cheek in comfort. "I don't know..." He smirked. "...are you still wearing the satin panties?"

He lightly smacked Severus' shoulder. "Shut up. I've been horny all day."

"Hm." He trailed his lips over Harry's ear and began sucking on the lobe. "Terribly sorry."

"Stop." Harry pushed him away gently. "I really don't feel like it right now."

Severus blinked at him. "You just said you've been horny all day."

Harry looked away and stared bashfully at the floor. He didn't like it when Severus saw him unsure and vulnerable even though it rarely occurred. "I know that but I just...can you just, you know, hold lit little while longer?"

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and pulled the youth against his chest. "Yes, I suppose so." Harry sighed and suppressed the urge to burrow as deeply into Severus' body as possible. He wanted to disappear and never be found. Stupid dare. Stupid Malfoy. Stupid - fucking - satin panties. Feeling sorry for himself was definitely working for Harry. "Harry?"

"Hm?"

"As much as I really like holding you, I'm getting a crick in my neck. Would you mind if we moved elsewhere?"

"Sure. Bed or chair?"

"Bed, please." Harry looked up at him skeptically. "I promise I won't try anything." He shed his robe and began to undress. Harry looked at him again. "Oh for the love of - I just want to be more comfortable, alright?" Harry took the idea into consideration and undressed to the panties. He blushed when Severus whistled. "You weren't kidding."

"Just get into the bed."

"Hold on, I want to stare a little while longer. It's not every day that I get to see you in panties. Red ones, no less. How Gryffindor of you."

Harry rolled his eyes and pulled them off completely. "There. No more panties now get in the bed. I'm cold."

Severus smirked and turned down the covers. "I definitely like you better without the panties."

Harry pushed him into the bed and crawled in. "Quiet you." He pulled up the blankets to cover his naked ass and settled himself against Severus' chest.

He wrapped his arms around Harry's back and kissed him on the forehead, a silent apology. "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable."

He shrugged. "It's not like you're the first one."

Severus ran his hands leisurely over Harry's body. "I must admit, you looked really sexy today." He didn't quite meet Harry's eyes. "You were beautiful."

Harry yawned and rested his head against Severus' shoulder. "I'll tell Seamus and Dean that you liked the dare, then."

"Hm. Quite." He pulled the blanket up to Harry's shoulder.

He brought up a hand and stroked Severus' cheek. He stared into Severus' eyes when he responded to the touch. Harry kissed his lips lightly. "I love you."

"Sentimental idiot." He pushed Harry's hair from his face. "I love you, too."

Harry smiled and kissed him again. "I'm not an idiot. An idiot would've told them who he was shagging." He smirked. "Besides, an idiot wouldn't turn you on the way I do."

Severus glared. "Go to sleep."

He settled against Severus' shoulder again but something else was running circles inside his head. "Hey Sev?"

"Hm?"

Harry traced a pattern on his stomach. "How did you know where I was this morning? I mean, how did you find me and," he stumbled. "Malfoy."

Severus' half sneer turned into an uncomfortable expression. "I was watching you."

"Oh." He was quiet for a minute. "Thank you for, you know, getting rid of him."

He stroked Harry's back slowly. "I protect what's important to me."

Harry smiled. "I'm important to you?"

Severus snorted. "Don't ask stupid questions." He lightly scratched his nails down Harry's spine.

He squirmed. "That tickles."

He smiled and did it again. "Good." Harry bent down and blew lightly on a nipple. A small smack landed on his butt. "Brat." Harry grinned and threw a leg over Severus' waist. He moved closer and sighed. Severus stroked Harry's hair and let it fall through his fingers.

"Hey Sev?"

He paused. "Yes?"

"You're important to me, too."

Severus sighed and tugged gently at Harry's hair to pull him into a kiss. "Good-night, Harry."

"One more thing..."

He made an irritated noise. "Go on..."

Harry sucked his lip between his teeth as Severus looked at him expectantly. "Never mind." He averted his gaze and stared across Severus' neck.

He sighed. "Harry..."

Harry tightened his arms around Severus' chest as if he would get thrown out of bed for asking. "Can I have something of yours?" He whispered.

Severus frowned. "Like what?"

Harry shrugged. "Just something that belongs to you that I can keep with me. I wanted something of yours to hold on to today."

"Ah." Severus thought for several minutes before nodding. "I'll give it to you in the morning."

"Thank you." Harry tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. "You can have something of mine, too. If you want."

"Mmhmm." He settled his arms firmly around Harry. "Now, go to sleep."

Harry shifted. "Good-night."

Severus brushed the back of Harry's head again before resettling his hand. "Good-night, Harry."

He grinned. "You're sexy when you yell at first years."

Severus peered at him, expression blank. "Is that why you stared at me the entire first year? Got a bit of an early start, didn't you?"

"No, I thought you were a nasty git." He looked up. "Come to think of it, you're a nasty git now." He shrugged and put his head back down. "You're sexy no matter who you yell at. Except when it's me. It's fine when we're in bed."

Severus' lip twitched. "I'll remember to take points the next time you get enthusiastic, then."

Harry snorted. ""100 points from Gryffindor, Potter, for being a damn good cocksucker." Oh yeah, baby. I can just see Dumbledore's face now."

He winced. "The mind boggles."

Harry buried his nose in Severus' neck and lightly nibbled. "Good-night, Professor."

He pinched Harry. "Sleep, Potter."

"I'm trying but you keep pinching me." He grinned cheekily and licked Severus' ear.

Severus tugged on a lock of Harry's hair and glared. "Obnoxious brat."

"But you love me for it."

The glare deepened. "I'll love you more if you go to sleep."

"No you couldn't. I've already got half your heart."

"Sleep." A command.

Harry yawned. "Good-night, Severus."

"Good-night, Harry."

::

His heart was pounding inside his ears, his breath short as he panted. The room was dark as he backed up against a wall; what felt like a wall. There was something after him but he wasn't afraid. It felt like a game. He was wearing the skirt again. A phantom hand ran from his cheek down to his navel. Harry gasped as the hand slid beneath the skirt and caressed his thigh. He shuddered, tongue slid out to wet his parched lips. His nails scraped against the stone behind him. Harry was sure he felt his nails rip and bleed when a second hand joined the first and ran a finger along the underside of his shaft. His breath hitched as a name slid off his tongue as easily as water.

A pale body rubbed up against his chest like an over zealous cat. Harry couldn't see the face as a familiar tongue licked his neck. Harry bucked into the hand that curled around his erection; turned his head and raped the pink lips that teased his neck. Tongues dueled fiercely for possession, for dominance. Harry moaned into the warm mouth and let his tongue fall: submission. He slid a hand down the pale torso before he broke the kiss and stared into coal black eyes. He smiled brightly and sighed the name of his lover. It hung in the air like silk ribbons and Christmas and happiness; like an unspoken promise.

The man smiled back at Harry, cupped his cheek with gentle fingers that knew Harry's body like the surface of a well loved toy. Each crevice, each expanse of skin that jerked and quivered beneath his loving hand. He loved tboy boy cradled in his reach and it shined like stars on a dark night. Lips came together in something akin to passion and peace, deeper than love and more infallible than hope. It was creation and completion; perfection.

Nothing else mattered except this body that set Harry's body on fire and consumed every sense into a smoldering pile of ash. He burned and ached for the hands to caress every inch of his body, to feel the power the seeped through his skin, to ease the swell of need and desire that pooled in his throbbing groin. Harry licked a pert nipple and shivered when his lover purred in his ear. The forgotten hand around Harry's erection flicked, his knees buckled.

Harry's eyelids fluttered as beautiful things were whispered in his ear. A thousand endearments whispered in a deep, silky voice rich with desire as the hand quickened. Stars were born in front of Harry's eyes, universes destroyed but the only thing he saw were the b eye eyes that never left his. He felt like a tightly braided rope that was beginning to fray around the edges. His lover worked quickly to undo him over and over again until the ends unraveled completely. Harry arched into the hand and yelled the name that trickled from his lips so easily.

"Severus!" Harry woke up with the name dieing on his lips.

Severus gasped and bolted awake. "What? What is it? Are you hurt?"

His heart was beating rapidly inside his chest. He shook his head. "No. It was a dream," he whispered as the sweet feeling slowly drifted away and Harry felt like his heart had sunken to his bowels. Carefully, he left the bed and cleaned himself off in the bathroom. The cloth felt scratchy and hard against his skin as the last remnants of his dream were wiped away. He sighed and placed the soiled cloth in the hamper.

Severus wrapped his arms around Harry's waist. "Are you alright?" His voice was thick and gravely with sleep.

He nodded and placed his ear above Severus' heart. He listened to the steady rhythm carefully and memorized the beat. "It was just a dream," he said again. But it had felt so real and Harry could still faintly remember all the emotions that had welled up inside him when they had kissed. The finality of it all. He sighed when Severus' arms tightened slightly.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Harry liked him when he was just awake. He wasn't full of sarcasm or humorous wit. He seemed more human in those waking moments than through all hours of the day. This is when Harry liked Severus best: vulnerable and open. "It was..." Amazing. Brilliant. The most wonderful experience of his life. "...breathtaking."

Severus kissed the top of Harry's head and smirked. "What happened that had you screaming my name?"

Harry told him everything. From being backed up against a wall, to the phantom hands and the consuming kisses that made him burn. The raw magic that had flowed through his veins like so much blood. He remembered feeling those hands and knowing exactly whom they belonged to before staring into black eyes that made him feel naked and exposed yet warm and protected. Eyes that he would willingly drown in just because he could.

He sagged against Severus and wished that he could live that dream forever. Harry looked up and watched the conflicting emotion in Severus' eyes that he usually kept so well guarded. Harry smiled. He was living the dream. "I love you," he whispered and kissed Severus deeply. His heart pounded again when he wrapped his arms around Severus' neck and pressed their bodies together.

Severus held the youth tightly; afraid that if he let go he would lose the one thing that was more precious than life. "I love you, too," he said and kissed Harry's eyelids. "Come back to bed."

Harry smiled and kissed his collarbone. "You aren't going to send me back to the dorm?"

"No. I want to wake up next to you in the morning."

He smirked. "Now whose the sentimental idiot?" Severus didn't reply. He laced his fingers with Harry's and pulled him back to the warm bed. The mattress groaned beneath them and the sheets ruffled as they were rearranged. Harry shifted closer to Severus until the older man wrapped his arms around Harry and tugged him closer. Both sighed contentedly before drifting off to sleep.

::

Severus stroked Harry's hair from his face and watched him sleep for a moment. One long finger trailed from between Harry's eyebrows down to the tip of his nose. Harry's eyelashes quivered, his lips twitched. Severus sighed wistfully before shaking him. Harry swatted at his hands and pulled the blanket over his head. Severus smirked. "Well, if you don't want your present..."

Harry peaked one eye out. "Are you the present?"

Severus raised an eyebrow. "You did ask for something of mine last night, did you not?"

"Can I have both?" He grinned hopefully before realizing Severus couldn't see it.

He gave Harry a small smile before rolling out of bed and pulling on his drdedrded robe. "As aware as I am of the effect my charismatic personality has on you, I'm quite sure that at the current stage in your growth, food at this hour is much more attractive."

"Not really. I still feel queasy."

Severus cool demeanor slipped an inch. What he wouldn't give to spend the day nestled in bed with Harry. Instead he tugged at the blanket. "Up and clothed. You need to be in the Great Hall whether you eat or not or someone will suspect something."

Harry shrugged. "They're already suspicious. They can bite me, anyway." He scowled. "I hope something awful happens to them."

Severus sighed. "Yes, but if they find you in my rooms, you don't think they'll clap me on the back and say "good show", do you?"

Harry felt the guilt bloom in his stomach. Severus was risking a lot more than he was. "No. Well, actually, Dean probably would." He sat up. "It's just...I feel safe here and-" He stared down at the comforter and mumbled quickly: "I feel safe with you."

Severus smiled softly. After the last year, he really couldn't imagine his rooms without Harry in them. It had been nice to come back last night and find him already there. Again he fought the urge to crawl back in bed, slid between the sheets and envelope Harry; hide them away from prying eyes and accusing fingers. "I really must insist."

Harry sighed. "I know. I know. If anyone finds out about us you get sacked and I get expelled. Right." Harry swung his legs over the edge of the bed and shook his head clear of sleep. Slowly, he got to his feet and stretched. His back arched lazily as he smiled wickedly at Severus.

Severus' eyes flared and he pulled Harry into his arms, kissed him soundly. "I'm always watching, remember?"

Harry grinned. "I was counting on it."

He stared down at Harry for a minute taking in the sight of a sleek body that seemed to fit so perfectly next to his own. He briefly remembered what Harry had said about the dream, about raw magic in his blood and in that moment he understood. "Well. Off, sr. r. You still have a spare set of robes here, I believe. And a conventional uniform as well."

"Good. I'll have to wash that skirt before I give it back to Hermione." He pulled Severus closer. "Shower with me?"

He smirked. "Water games, Potter?" Harry waggled his eyebrows. Severus rolled his eyes. "The point of my waking you up was so you could make it on time to alleviate suspicion. It won't do anything for the cause if you show up halfway through breakfast with wet hair and that lovely "I've just been well and thoroughly fucked, aren't I sexy?" look you have after a good round."

"I have a sexy look?" He shook his head. "Anyway, they'll all notice that I wasn't in my dorm this morning. How do we get rid of that problem? I say we hollow up in the bed all weekend and be naughty."

"Naughty, Harry? Honestly, do you want me to spank you? Gryffindors may know you weren't there last night but the entire school will realize when The Boy Who Lived and their most reviled Potions Master disappear for the weekend." He shoved Harry towards the bathroom. "Go. Shower. You smell."

"Fine," Harry called over his shoulder and swung his ass all the way to the bathroom.

Severus snorted. "Always the subtle one, Potter."

::

Harry emerged on a cloud of steam and a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. "Where are my clothes?" Severus gestured towards the chest at the end of the bed and continued searching through a box on his dresser. Harry took a few moments to check out Severus' ass before dropping the towel and vigorously drying his hair. "What are you looking for?"

"You'll find out soon enough." He looked up and laughed. "Put on some clothes, you little exhibitionist."

Harry found his robes and uniform thrown in with some of Severus' clothes. He liked the way their things looked mingled together. He pulled them on and sighed. "I have never been so happy to wear pants."

Severus smirked. "I'll remind you of that next time you're moaning at me to "take the damn things off"."

He waved it away. "Completely different situation. I'd like to see you go through a whole day in one of those skirts. And you won't have the satin panties or Hermione asking you if you want breasts."

Severus smiled. "I really must hear the entire story sometime."

Harry grumbled. "Yes, down to shattering Trevor's jaw and what it felt like to have Malfoy's hands all over me." He shuddered.

Severus frowned. "Yes, I need to have a talk with Mr. Malfoy about what is and is not acceptable behavior." He glanced at the clock. "Now, off to breakfast with you. I won't be there."

"But my present!"

Severus smirked. "Ah, yes." He pushed Harry against the door and firmly kissed him as he pressed something into Harry's hand. Harry held onto Severus' shoulders and prolonged the kiss for as long as he could. He didn't want to leave. Nothing else mattered in Severus' rooms when it was just the two of them.

Harry's heart ached when they parted. He stared down at the odd looking ring in his hand. "What is it?"

Severus cast a quick spell to make sure the surrounding corridors were empty. He pushed Harry out of the open door and looked him in the eye as he brushed his thumb over Harry's cheekbones and over his lower lip. "The other half."

Harry stared down at the ring in fascination. It was silver and in the shape of a snake biting it's tail. Harry slid it on and smiled at Severus. "I love you, too."

Severusntednted and shut the door. He sighed. "Of all the maudlin- I should've just given the brat a scarf."

::

Harry stood outside of Severus' rooms, staring at the closed door. In theory, he could've just whispered the password, pressed the knob, and hid under the bed all day. But the chances of getting to the bedroom without Severus seeing him were slim. He sighed and began trudging to the Great Hall.

He stopped at the flight of stairs. Severus didn't say he had to go to breakfast. Harry could just go to the tower. He really wasn't hungry and he would gather more attention and suspicion if he showed up and didn't eat. The tower was definitely more appealing. Harry chose the right stairwell that would take him to the dormitory. He gave the portrait the password and stepped into the quiet Common Room.

Hermione peered over the top of the couch. "Harry! Where have you been? He said he would have you back by midnight!"

Harry grinned and sat down in one of the armchairs. "I'll think of something to tell them. Hello, Gin. What are you two doing here? I thought you would be at breakfast."

Ginny smiled from her spot against Hermione's thigh. "Hello, Harry. Herm and I ate early. The rest of the tower is gone." Hermione was lazily running her fingers through Ginny's hair. "What's that on your finger?"

He smiled brightly and leaned over to show them. "He gave it to me." Both girls grinned at him.

"Does this mean that he proposed or something?" Ginny asked.

Hermione smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. "I doubt it. This is Snape we're talking about."

Harry scowled. "You don't have to talk about him like that. He's my..." Lover? Boyfriend? Spouse? Companion? Shag bunny? Harry frowned. "I don't know what." He curled back up in the chair and stared down at the ring. "I love him, though." But calling Severus his boyfriend sounded so juvenile and they hadn't really made any commitments to each other except to keep the relationship a relative secret.

Ginny shrugged. "Ask him sometime. What about after you graduate?"

Harry stared at her for a minute. Graduation? Graduation was only two months away. He felt his insides dry up. Leave Severus? "I-I don't know. We never talk about it." They never really talked that much about anything except when they fought like last night. Or Harry talked and Severus told him to go to sleep.

Hermione took his hand in hers. "I'm sure it's fine, Harry. Just ask him. Snape doesn't strike me as the type to jeopardize his career just for a few shags."

He nodded dumbly and twisted the ring on his finger. He gave me his heart. That has to mean something. But he couldn't help the nagging feeling in his chest. Do I want to stay with Severus after graduation? He chewed on his lip in frustration.

Ginny looked up at Hermione and frowned. "This isn't good."

She stroked Ginny's hair. "No, it isn't. Harry?" He looked up. "What are we going to tell everyone when they ask where you were?"

"Haven't Parvati and Lavender started rumors?"

Ginny grinned. "No. They actually respect you now for what you said at lunch yesterday." She began to giggle. "Parvati flung mashed potatoes at Seamus. It was great. Everyone's pretty much been quiet about it."

Harry shrugged. "I'll tell them the truth. I was spending the night with my Slytherin boyfriend." He pointed at the ring.

"You were having detention with Snape last night, remember?" Hermione emphasized the last word. "I had to lie to Professor McGonagall."

He sighed. "Okay, so I spent the evening cleaning out vials and listening to Snape tell me how worthless I am and then spent the night with my Slytherin boyfriend, Severus. Life is complicated." The girls nodded as the portrait swung open and the rest of the house came pouring in.

"Harry!" Ron yelled and came over. "Where've you been?"

"I had detention with Snape last night."

Dean pushed forward. "But you weren't in your bed this morning."

Harry grinned slyly. "I spent the night well entertained by my Slytherin boyfriend, thank you. He loved the dare by the way. Best lay I've had in ages." He wasn't quite lying and it felt good to call Severus his boyfriend even if the word did make him twitch.

Seamus clapped him on the back. "Glad we could help. Now when do we get to meet him?"

"You don't." He began to play with the ring before he realized that all three boys were staring at it.

"Is that a present from him?" Ron picked up Harry's hand and examined it. "It's a snake. Does that mean he's in Slytherin?"

"Eew, are you dating Malfoy again, Harry?" Dean made a face very close to disgust.

Harry's face paled and his mouth went suddenly dry. "No." Even after last night he could still feel the burning sensation of Draco's hands on him, around him.

Seamus frowned as something clicked inside his head. "What did Malfoy do, Harry?" His voice was hard but calm.

Hermione and Ginny peered over the back of the couch. "Harry?"

He stared down at the ring on his finger and twisted it over and over again. He swallowed. "It's nothing, really."

Seamus grabbed his arm when he tried to leave the room. "What did he do, Harry?"

He shook off Seamus' hand. "Go to hell."

Hermione and Ginny quickly got up from the couch and each grabbed one of Harry's hands. They pulled him towards the stairs that led to the Girls dormitory with very little protest. "We'll be right back," Hermione called and shut the door.

Harry sat down on Hermione's bed. "Thanks."

She knelt down in front of him as Ginny sat beside him. "Does this have to do with the 250 points Slytherin lost yesterday?" Ginny asked, gently putting her hand over his.

He nodded. "Yeah. How do you know about that?"

Hermione crossed her arms and leaned against Harry's legs. "The whole school knows about that. Slytherin's never lost that many points in one day and no one is saying who lost them or who took them away."

Harry sighed and rubbed his eyes. He was too tired to deal with this. It was easier to tell Hermione and Ginny though. He sighed. "Malfoy...accosted me in a corridor on the way to Dark Arts."

"Oh, Harry." Hermione took his other hand. "Is that why you were late?"

He nodded. "He probably would've....if Sev hadn't shown up." He twisted the ring again and stared at the emerald green eyes of the snake that flashed in the glow of the lamp.

"Taken from his own house," Ginny whispered. She smiled warmly in a way that reminded Harry of Molly Weasley and he desperately wished she was there to hold him. He had always wondered what it would feel like to have a mother hold him. Ginny's voice was soft when she spoke again. "I'm sorry yesterday was so awful for you."

Hermione agreed. "Are you going to be okay or do you need to lie low for awhile?"

"I'm okay. I just don't want to tell the guys. They'll kill Malfoy." He blinked for a second. "Wait, that's a good thing."

Ginny elbowed him lightly in the gut. "No killing or it'll be them getting expelled and not Malfoy."

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. I'd kind of like to have a go at him. I found this great way to torture someone. Shallow cuts with lemon juice. It drives the victim crazy."

Harry and Ginny blinked at her before Ginny spoke: "I have never wanted you more."

Harry laughed and got off the bed. "I think that's my cue to leave. I'll see you later." But Ginny was already launching herself at Hermione. Harry chuckled and left the dorm as Hermione squealed.

"Harry?" Dean was sitting at the foot of the steps.

He stopped and stared at his friend suspiciously. "Where are Seamus and Ron?"

Dean grinned. "They're off to interrogate Malfoy."

Harry groaned and twisted the ring on his finger. "Great, great, great." He sat next to Dean and put his head in his hands.

Dean put a comforting hand on his back. "You can tell us, you know. I mean, Malfoy is pretty attractive and you looked really sexy yesterday so," he shrugged, "I won't think any less of you if you guys shagged and you feel guilty about it."

"We didn't shag yesterday." God, Sev really would've killed him. "He, um." Harry took a deep breath. "I on mon my way to Dark Arts and he, um, he felt me up in a corridor," Harry whispered.

"Oh, okay. Wait. Against your will?" Harry nodded. "Cocksucking son-of-a-bitch! Are you alright? Did he, erm, did he try and, you know, rape you?"

He rubbed his neck. "No. He would've if Snape hadn't shown up, though. Malfoy was never good at stopping once he started." When they were dating it had seemed thrilling and Harry had thought Malfoy really loved and cared about him. He bitterly thought about how wrong he'd been.

"I don't think I've ever been so relieved to hear the words "if Snape hadn't shown up"." Dean threw an arm around Harry's shoulders. "I can't guarantee that I won't beat the snot out of the little shit next time I see him but I'll try and be civil."

He shrugged. "Why should you? Have at him. I don't care."

"Seriously?" Dean was up and ready to race out of the dorm. He had been waiting for this moment for nearly seven years and he wasn't going to pass it up.

Harry nodded. "But no killing curses!" He called after Dean who was half-way out of the portrait. Harry chuckled and went up to his own dormitory.

::

In short, I was accosted in a hallway, I blew up at my friends in front of the whole school, hid in a tree, shattered a kids jaw and had a fight with you. All in all it was a productive day. I guess it could've been a whole lot worse: I didn't have a bra for them to snap. By the way, Hermione said you can keep the skirt.

Ginny brought up a good point today. What are we going to do after graduation? By 'we' I mean you and me. I assume you're staying here to keep on teaching and I'll probably go live with Sirius until I figure out what I want. But I do know what I want. I want you. I'd stay at Hogwarts for the rest of my life if it meant I could be with you. I know, you'll just call me a sentimental idiot again.

We're in a relationship that's destined to end, aren't we? You're a teacher, I'm a student. I can't ask you to quit your job just to be with me. Besides, I don't know what you want. Maybe you did just want a few shags every few weeks. But you wouldn't have given me this ring if you felt that way. You gave me your heart. How long until I have to give it back?

If you do want this to end, I'll disappear. I won't badger you about it. I'll leave at the end of this year and I'll never tell anyone about you and me. I'll keep you safe and go to America or New Zealand and I'll never contact you again.

It hurts just to write that. I love you, Severus. You know this isn't some schoolboy crush and you know that I mean every word. I don't say things I don't mean. Not when it's something as important as this. Just say you want me and I'm yours.

I love you,

Harry

P.S. I hope you like the ring. My mother gave it to my father when they graduated. I thought you should have it.

Harry stared down at the letter. The fire was crackling in the hearth in the Gryffindor Common Room as he bore his heart to his beloved. Their relationship had started as anything but. No commitments, no promises; only sex and it had stayed that way in the beginning. But something changed over the weeks and months they slept together. One day Harry turned around and Professor Snape wasn't the one bent over a pile of essays; it was Severus, the man Harry ached for in the middle of the night when he couldn't sleep, the man he dreamt of and woke up in tears to a terribly empty, cold bed.

Here was a man that Harry wanted to be with. Maybe not forever but for now, he was all Harry had ever wanted. But Severus was a porcelain doll and Harry was the sticky handed child that latched on to beauty. And with all hire nre not to break the precious doll, Harry feared that one day he woulip lip and the doll would smash on the cold floor. He shivered even with the fire warm on his face. There were so many things that could go wrong, so many things to risk. But Harry was willing. He only hoped that Severus would risk it with him.

The clock on the wall was chiming midnight as he got up and stretched. He was about to go to the Owlery to send the letwhenwhen Colin Creevey came down the stairs. He had gotten over his obsession with Harry in his fourth year much to everyone's relief.

"Hey Harry. What are you doing up?" He whispered as if they could wake the whole tower.

Harry held up the letter. "I'm on my way to the Owlery." He thought for a second. "Would you like to come?"

Colin smiled. "No but thanks."

"Okay." He threw on his Invisibility Cloak and headed towards the portrait with just his head bobbing.

"Hey Harry?"

He turned. "Yeah?"

Colin sat down in one of the armchairs. "What's it like to be a girl?"

Harry grinned. "Exhausting." And left before Colin could say anything.

Colin sat in front of the fireplace for several minutes thinking about what Harry had said. Making sure no one could see, he slid his hand over his shoulder and lovingly rubbed his bra strap. He couldn't wait to be a girl.

End.