The Greatest Thing

Harry Potter was a normal wizard... well as normal as any wizard could geth tth the title of \"Boy who lived and Boy who had defeated Voldemort.\" Hanging over his head. But that\'s not what I\'m here to tell you about. I\'m here to tell you about how the bane of my existence, the very dunderhead of Gryffendor stole my heart.

Pity I didn\'t see it coming. I really should have. But I Severus Snape didn\'t. Of all things I thought that boy would hate me as much as I loathed him. My feelings changed rather quickly the summer between his 6th and 7th year.

Albus had taken me to see a Muggle romance film called the \"Moulin Rouge\" I liked it all right once I got used to the pictures. The basic theme of that \"movie\" as Muggles call it is.. The greatest thing you\'ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. How true this was... even for a bastard potions teacher like myself.

I\'m getting off track... It was summer. Harry had just beaten Voldemort in a very bloody battle. We had worked together trying to find ways to defeat him. Yes we where what I had considered friends but nothing more. There was this annoying little twinge inside me that it was something more but I would never do anything about it. Never try to find out what this feeling was and how a Muggle movie could affect me so.

It all started with a meeting in Headmaster Albus Dumbledore\'s office. On June 5...

Thginnginning of the end. Chapter One:
There was a knocking on Severus\'s door very early that morning. Severus who had charmed his windows to be shut off to all light in his bed room so he could sleep whenever and never have to worry about sunlight was something he was quit fond of. This constant knock however wasn\'t.


\"Albus I\'m asleep you bloody dunderhead!\" Severus growled as he wretched open the door to find a raven-haired boy about shoulder\'s height to him staring at him.

\"I\'m not the headmaster. But I have come on his behalf.\" Harry Potter said cheekily.

\"Right. What would you want?\" Severus growled as he enchanted his pj\'s into his normal flowing robs that he donned everyday.

\"The Headmaster wants us up in his office. Now. Come on sleepy head. Waky Waky Eggs and Bakey.\"

\"I hate it when you do that to me.\"

\"Well he does have bacon.\"

\"Not my point.\"

Harry pouted protruding his lip out ever so slightly looking hurt. He did this because he knhat hat Severus would have a field day trying to worm his way out of falling for that pout.

\"All right. All right. Let\'s go.\"

They walked in silence the older wizard wondering what it was like to live in a fish bowl that Harry called his life. Harry and Severus often talked about a time in Harry\'s life when things weren\'t as nice as they are now. Severus became appalled to know that the Muggles abused him like they did.

At the gargoyle Severus said the password and they started up the staircase. Little did they know that it was the beginning of the end.... The end of something horrid and the beginning of something wonderful.


As we neared the door to albus\'s office I knew that this would change my life forever. I some how knew that he wanted me to do something that would indefinatly make me older and with less hair. I sighed and let Harry go in first... Albus likes him better. Always has.

I\'m getting off track again, we entered the office with Albus and Minerva present. I was surprised by this because I hadn\'t done anything and neither had Harry.... Sorry dirty thoughts.

I looked over at the raven haired boy and saw that he was nervous. Funny he doesn\'t bat an eye when fighting the most powerful Dark Lord of our time but he\'s nervous in front of the Hogwart\'s staff.

\"I\'ve called both of you here today because there has been an attack. The remaining Death Eaters have collaborated to try and get a new Dark Lord... we\'ve gotten most of them under arrest for infringement of the law. But Malfoy is still at large.\"

\"This is shocking news Albus. Where may I ask was the attack?\" I asked. In my stomach I knew that they where after Harry. They where after my Harry and that just wasn\'t sitting well with me.

\"Number 4 Privet Drive\" Minerva wispered.

\"My.. Uncle and aunt... where are they?\" Harry asked slowly not wanting to show to much emotion.

\"They are dead. We found them to late. Remus and Sirius where there. They are fine Sirius suffered a minor blow to the head but he\'s ok. They are both in the hospital wing waiting your arrival. But first we must get you to a safe place. They will be around Hogwart\'s soon enough.\"

\"I agree. Where will we put the boy?\" I asked.

\"I was hoping that you would take him into your care. I know you don\'t care much for Sirius nor Remus but this is for Harry\'s saftey. As well as your own. There was a note left at the charred remains of the house. It said \"The backstabber will pay.\" Albus said. \"I believe that there will be strength in numbers here. You will go to the Snape manor and then here to Hogwart\'s again when school starts.\"

I sat there thinking that this was all a dream. I was finnally allowed to take Harry home with me. The thing I wanted most was to protect Harry from all the harm in the world and now I could. Damn. The mutt was here. That\'s someg I g I didn\'t look foward to. Maybe if I was lucky he would have no memory.

\"You to may go the house elves have taken all your things to Snape Manor. Now go see Remis and Sirius, Harry.\" Albus said making a shooing hand motion.

Once outside Harry looked a little green. I put my arm around him and he leaned into me. I could tell that he was starting to feel the shock of this latest attack. Apparently he would never out run the fame of being Harry Potter.

\"Sev?\"

\"Since when have you called me that?\" I asked.

\"Since now. Will you take care of me?\" Harry asked.

I looked into his eyes and for a moment I saw worry, then pain, then something else. Something that no person has ever looked at me like this before. I slowly nodded my head and wondered why this would happen to such a kind boy.

\"Yes Harry I will take care of you. Forever if needed.\" I said softly.

\"Thanks Sev.\" he wispered looking up into my eyes. I couldn\'t help it I really couldn\'t there was this magnectic force that drove me to kiss those soft pink lips. I leaned my head down and wrapped my arms around his waist. It didn\'t take a moment before he was eagerly kissing me back and running his hands trough my hair. I was getting a raging hard on and new that if this kept up I\'d end up deflowering the young Gryffendor.

I pulled away slowly my eyes still close. Why where they closed? Because they where slowly brimming with tears. I knew that I never could have this boy. This man that I loved... wait love? yes loved so much.

\"I\'m sorry. Your vulnerable and I shouldn\'t...\" I wispered.

Harry said nothing and I opened my eyes and felt a single tear fall down my cheek. He wiped it away and kissed me softly again. His hands on my cheeks.

\"Don\'t be. I\'ve wanted you to kiss me for so long.\" Harry said blushing.

\"We can talk about this later right now you have a Godfather and a Mutt to see.\"

\"Hey don\'t talk about Remus like that!\" Harry pouted.

\"I wasn\'t I was talking about Black.\" I said smerking.

We entered the infirmary with hands clasped. Harry wasn\'t sure if he wanted to know what his Godfather was like wounded so he just went in with me entoe.

Sirius was fine and Harry jumped on the bed that he and Remus where sitting in. There where many hugs and suddenly I was jealous. That no one had ever loved me like they love each other.

\"I\'m so glad your ok.\" Harry said

\"Awe it was but a stracth\"

\"Sirius! You\'ve been watching Monty Python again havn\'t you!\" Harry said with glee.

\"He won\'t let me watch anything else.\" Remus said brightly.

\"How are you Mooney?\"

\"I\'m fine. Thanks to Severus\' new version of the wolfsbane.\" Remus did look better. I was just glad that I could help. It was always so bitter when he took it. So when I had gotten an elf hair and blood I knew that it was something special to do for Harry.

\"Alright alright out you two my patient needs his rest.\" Madam Pompfrey came in and shooed us out. So hand in hand Harry and I walked down to my bedroom. Once there I sat down on the couch and Harry sat beside me with his head on my lap. Harry\'s hair had grown out so much since 5th year. I was playing with it when those bright green eyes looked up at me and his soft pink lips parted.

\"Sev?\"

\"Yes Harry?\"

\"When did you first know that you where gay?\"

\"A long time ago. When things where different then they are now.\"

\"Whats that mean?\"

\"It means that the wizarding world wasn\'t as accepting of my relationship with a man. It was like the Muggle world is now. I had to learn how to do everything on my own because it wasn\'t accepted and I was trown from my home.\"

\"I\'m sorry.\" he wispered.

\"Don\'t be. May I ask you something now?\"

\"Sure.\"

\"When did you first know that you where gay?\"

\"When I started having dreams about you. When I would look at you and want to kiss you. It hurt for a long time because I knew that you\'d never have some one like me.\" with that Harry got up and went to the enchanted window.

\"Have some one like you? I\'m confused. I\'d be so proud do have you at my side. Your so perfect.\" I wispered.

Harry turned and looked at me with tears in his eyes. \"If I\'m so perfect why did my family hate me so? Why did I have to sleep alone all this time? Why didn\'t I die to save Ron?\"

I went up to him and put my arms around him and told him the God\'s honest truth.\"I don\'t know why Ron had to die. I don\'t know why your muggle relatives didn\'t so you like I do. So special so perfect.\"

\"I..I have scars Sev. Scars that wouldn\'t go away. I\'m ugly. Something that you wouldn\'t want to me with.\" Harry pulled down his sleeve as he said this and I wondered why.

\"I have scars to Harry we all do. But I still find you beautiful and kind and perfect. Please let me see your arm\"

Harry lifted up his sleeves and showed two arms that had thin lines up and down the inner arm. They where gashes that had gone in every direction. Some where fainter then others. Harry Potter was a cutter. This surprised me because I thought that he adjusted well to the life that he had. I leaned down and kissed his arms.

\"Promise me you won\'t ever do this again. Promise me that this will stop.\"

\"I promise, as long as you promise never to leave me.\"

\"I promise. Now come on you have to get some sleep. You\'ve had an aweful day and you need to rest.\" I took his hand and led him to the bed where we both snuggled into each others arms and soon enough I heard the shallow breathing of his sleep. I prayed that whatever God\'s where out there that they would leave his slumber alone. Only good dreams to grace Harry\'s head.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I woke up I found a pair of green eyes staring back at me. I really could\'ve gotten lost in those eyes. I felt the urgent need to kiss him again. I fought it for as long as I could. My lips enclosed Harry\'s and soon we where in a passionate embrace.

His hands where trough my hair and my skilled hands where exploring his body. With the slightest touch of my hand he wimpered and moaned for more. He pulled away before things got out of hand. He just ran out of the room with me stareing after him wondering what the bloody hell had gone on.. What did I do??

I went out to look for him and he was curled up on the couch he looked hurt, innocent but hurt. I sat down beside him and waited for him to say something. But all I heard where soft sobs. I gently put my hand on his back and softly wispered, \"Shhh it\'s ok love.\"

\"No, it\'s not. I like you so much. I think I might even be in love with you and I can\'t even have sex with you because... because...\" His voice was trailed off by a choking sobb. Something was wrong with this boy. Something very wrong.

\"Come Harry please talk to me. Tell me what\'s wrong tell me what haunts your dreams.\" I said softly.

He looked up at me with tears in his eyes. \"If I do you won\'t love me anymore. Hell I don\'t even know if you love me now. I just know how I feel about you and to drag you into this would be very wrong. So very wrong. And it would hurt you and I can\'t stand for that to happen. \" Harry sobbed into the couch.

\"I\'ve been trough a hell of a lot and whatever this is we can work trough this together. I promise.\" I ment every word dammit. This wasn\'t right in the pit of my stomach there was something really wrong.

\"I don\'t know if I can.\" Harry wispered. \" I don\'t know if I\'m strong enough.\"

\"Then I\'ll hold you while you tell me.\" I pulled Harry into my lap having him rest his head against my chest. \"

\"It started about 4 years ago. I was in my second year. Dudley my good for nothing cousin decided he wanted to explore his sexuality. At first my Uncle was livid. But things got worse. A lot worse. I would wake up at night to Dudley touching me. The first night it was just trying to jerk me off. Then as time went on he found new ways to torture me with. He\'d soon lost his virginity to god knows what or who and now it was my turn to \'be a man\' as he called it. The first night I was penitrated it was him. The next it was my uncle. The third night it was both, then they took turns sticking thinks like screwdrivers and hammer handles and such into me to listen to me scream. It went on every night. When it wasn\'t I would have nightmares about Voldermort. I\'ve never truely been close to any man since then.\" Harry looked up at me. \"Except you. In that way I mean. Ron, Fred, and George well they where good friends but when Ron came out of the closet and told me he loved me once I almost killed him. I went into an instant panic. It took Olivar, the Twins, and Seamus to get me off him.\"

I listened silently digesting this information. Harry sat quitly for awhile then got up to move. \"I gues I\'ll just go since I\'m to dirty to love.\"

I pulled him back into my lap and kissed his head softly. \"I\'m glad you told me. Because if you hadn\'t I wouldn\'t be able to help you now. But I can and we can get trough this. Promise.\"

Harry just nodded glumly. He looked so broken so sad. I wondered where the hell these Muggles had the right to do something like this to my Harry. It must have been aweful. I should know. I too was raped. When I joined the ranks of Voldermort. It wasn\'t pretty.

\"When I was about your age Harry, my father wanted me to become a Death Eater. Which I did to become a spy. The night I got my mark the men where free to rape and abuse me in ways not proper to talk about in front of such young company. But it wasn\'t something that I like to remember. When I left there I could barely walk and wanted to sleep daysdays. Just to forget. After that I started loosing time. I knew there was something wrong with me but I couldn\'t get used to the idea that I hadn\'t choosen who\'d I\'d given my innocence too. I never really fell in love either. It was always something that I wouldn\'t let happen. Until now.\" I smiled down at the ebony haired Gryffendor with such pride.

\"How did you get over it?\"

\"You never really get over it, but for me I found some one I cared for a great deal as a friend and allowed myself to be aroused and eventually have sex. It was step by step telling myself that I\'m safe and that I\'m ok and that everything\'s fine. \"

\"Will you be that person for me?\"

\"Only if you want. And you must know that if you ever say no I will stop.\"

\"Thank you.\"

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Things where going well enough. I was feeling a little lonley because Summer had begun and Harry was only to come out of his room\'s for meals. He was studying. Something didn\'t feel right. Like Albus was keeping us apart. I knew that Harry would only get worse if he didn\'t talk to me or have some one to talk to. So I decided for my own selfish pleasures that would help Harry and myself become closer I decided to go see the Headmaster.

I walked up the stairs and was going toward the Headmaster\'s office when I heard a soft cry. This was unlikly because none of the other students where here and most of the teachers had gone home. I turned to where the sound was comming from. I went down the hall to my Potion\'s class room. There sat Harry with his back to me. He was talking to his owl.

\"I don\'t understand Hedwig. I really don\'t. Sev said that he would take care of me. Now he won\'t even talk to me. He doesn\'t look at me nor answer anything I send him. I guess I am that bad, I guess the truth hurt him. I\'m sorry.\"

Hedwig bit his finger affectionatly and I saw a glint of something silver. There was paper everywhere and I just thought it was a quill. Until he got up and went to the front of the room. He stood his back still to me and put a peice of paper on my chalk board. Then with two swift movements, he slashed his wrists and fell to the floor. Before I could think I ran over to him. I held him in my arms Accioing a healing potion to me. The paper fell by my side I picked it up after admistering the potion to Harry.

Sev,
I\'m sorry that I couldn\'t be what you wanted me to be. There\'s to much that time cannot erase. This pain is just to real, these wounds won\'t seem to heal. Your face hurts me because I only see cold hatred toward a slut like me. I loved you. I\'ve always loved you. I still do. I\'m sorry. You\'re face it huants my once pleasent dreams, your voice has chased away all the sanity in me. I can\'t be saved now. The pain has engulfed me. Tell Hermione I\'m sorry. Tell Draco that he\'s a good guy.
I love you,
Harry J. Potter

I felt tears well in my eyes. I held Harry tight to me waiting for the Potion to give Harry back his strength.

\"Please come back love. Please. I love you too Harry. I never ment to hurt you. I never ment to exclude you. Come back to me love.\"

I sat there rocking him in my arms and I felt his eyes flutter open against my neck. He was breathing slower now and looked as if he would cry. He slowly snaked his arms around my neck and buried his head there crying. Now I knew that this was something special. I knew with out a doubt that I loved him too.

\"I\'m sorry.\" Harry wispered. \"I\'m sorry I can\'t be what you want.\"

\"None of that matters you are everything I could ever want or need. I love you so much.\"

\"Is that why you saved me?\"

\"Yes, that and we have so much time to get trough. I wasn\'t going to let the only person that ever gave a damn about me die.\"

\"I\'m tired Sev.\" Harry wispered.

I picked him up and carried him into my room. There we lay in each others arms. The Potion was doing its job now all I could do was wait for him to wake up. I cried softly my shoulder shaking slightly. He had thought that I didn\'t love him.
this hurt more then I could say. I loved him with my my heart. Even if I was old enough to be his father. Even if I was a bastard potions master. Even if I was a former Death Eater. I couldn\'t help but to love this boy. This young man that had grown beyond his years.