Night in the Room of Requirement

DISCLAIMER: Absolutely none of the characters in this story belong to me. They belong to JK Rowling. I\'m just borrowing them for a while and I will not be (nor do I have any interest in) making any money with this story. I repeat, not mine.

I thought this might be an interesting combination.

*...* indicates thoughts.

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Ron stormed down the hall, managing to get a decent billow in his robes in his anger.

“The nerve…” he growled quietly. “Those ungrateful, lying…argh!” His hands clenched by his sides. When he had finally gained enough distance from his dorm he stopped, placing his hands on the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to concentrate over the low hum he always heard when he did this. Finally, a small pop and his hand was against a door. Lips pressed in a flat line he yanked the door open and stomped inside.

The Room of Requirement opened up before him and he gave a bitter smile when he saw what it contained. A small table to his left had two shot glasses on it, filled with a liquid he hoped was liquor. Next to the drinks was a baseball bat. The rest of the room was filled with wooden mannequins. Most of them were of Harry and Hermione, separately and…together. The wooden figures groped and kissed in a couple of positions and he hissed as he noticed. There was also a smattering of Dumbledore, Snape, and Malfoy.

Wasting no time, he yanked his robes off and tossed it on the table. Downing the shots in rapid succession he grabbed the baseball bat and went to work. The mannequins broke into satisfying little pieces with a great deal of noise. He’d really worked his way into a good rhythm when he heard a low, menacing voice behind him.

“I wouldn’t have thought you had it in you Weasley.” Snape had been terrifying a couple making out in the corridor, gleefully taking points as the students scurried away, when he’d heard smashing sounds. Worried that there had been an incursion of Death Eaters he’d hurried towards the sound only to find an angry Ronald Weasley doing an incredible amount of damage to an icon of Harry Potter. Stamping down the fleeting feeling of satisfaction the image gave him, he instead focused on the fact that he could now torture one of the Boy-who-was-a-Pain’s little side kicks.

Ron turned around with a roar, branding his baseball bat at a smug Severus Snape. The tall man didn’t even bat an eyelash. If anything, he managed to look smugger. Ronald dropped the bat, feeling a little foolish.

Snape was startled by the aggressive reaction and found himself appraising the Weasel. He’d grown into his gangly arms and filled out quite nicely. Surprisingly, he wasn’t clad in the annoying Gryffindor red. Instead, he had soft black pants on and a white sleeveless top. He was also very sweaty. Snape hid the wave of mortification the swept over him as he realized he was checking out his student. *Get a grip, get a grip.*

“Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me.” Ron replied, trying to catch his breath.

“You’d better be careful, Weasley. People might start thinking you have issues.” Snape tilted his head to the destruction strewn around the room.

“Anybody who doesn’t have issues in this place isn’t paying attention.” Ron cut him a look as he said it and headed across the room for the towel that was now sitting on the table. The smile that spread across Snape’s face surprised Ron enough that he momentarily forgot how to walk, tripping over a piece of mannequin. Righting himself, he decided he would ignore the snigger Snape had aimed at him. He would also ignore the niggling thought that Snape looked a lot better when he wasn’t sneering. “I’m sorry, was there something I can help you with?” He growled at Snape as he stepped up to the table.

“You will address me with proper respect, Weasley.” Snape was no longer smiling. He’d drawn himself up to his full height and was looking down his nose at Ron. Being a lot taller in his seventh year than he had been in his first, it was a lot less intimidating.

Snape growled. The little bastard was mouthing off to him and he wasn’t going to have it! Ungrateful brats!

“Bugger that. For all I know, you’re a hallucination.” Ron picked up the glass of water that had appeared and tipped it back. Suddenly Snape was at his side, pinching his arm viciously. Ron yelped, spraying water all over himself and the table. “What the hell was that for?”

“Now, you know I’m not a hallucination. And that’s Professor Snape to you, rodent.” Snape snarled at him. He found his eyes tracing a bead of water rolling down the Weasel’s chin and snapped his attention back to Ron, who was rolling his eyes at him.

“Do you ever relax? I’m minding my own business, doing my thing. You’re the invader here, Snape.” Ron shot back. *Did he just check me out? No, that can’t be right* “And I think the School agrees with me.” He tilted his head at the table where two more shot glasses had appeared.

Snape frowned at him. *What the hell is this foolish boy talking about?*

“Is life in the Golden Trio so bad you need to drink AND destroy?” Snape hissed. The destroyed images made it clear what Potter and that annoying Know-it-All had been up too. *What a disgusting image.*

Up close and personal, Ron found himself examining Snape’s face with a strange detachment. The eyes were dark and deep. The nose was huge but fit with his face. There was nothing to be done about the hair. *What a mess.* On the other hand, his mouth…Ron’s eyes glazed over as he realized Snape had a very inviting mouth.

Severus was momentarily distracted as Ron stared at him. *Did he just look at me in lust? That can’t be right...” Snape shook him roughly and Ron blinked.

“I already had a couple when I got here. Those are for you.” Ron replied, ignoring the first part of the question. Snape sneered and released his arm though he remain uncomfortably close.

“Are you sure? Surely having Potter stealing your precious little girlfriend warrants a little more.” Snape said, wrinkling his nose in disgust.

“You think I’m pissed because they’re shagging? Get serious, Snape. The three of us have been shagging for a year. I’m pissed because they cut me out and then lied through their teeth about it. ‘Take a break’ my ass.”

Snape gaped at him. He couldn’t have been more surprised him more if Ron had kicked him in the face. A mental image popped into his mind and he didn’t know if he should be turned on or vomit.

Ron stifled a giggle. He’d never seen this particular expression on his professor’s face and was rather enjoying it. Snape’s mouth hung open and worked like a fish out of water.

“You…he…they?” was all Snape managed to choke out.

“I would have thought you’d take this a little more in stride.” Ron smirked at him.

“But! You! You’re the bloody Golden Trio…it’s like….it’s like…” Snape was clearly at a loss for words. He struggled to think of something more unlikely and a sudden image of Voldemort and Dumbledore locked in a passionate embrace popped into his mind. He shuddered.

“Yeah, yeah, so I hear every damn day. A large number of people want us dead in a variety of ways, each worse than the last. We’ve got the life expectancy of fruit flies. You think I wanted to die a virgin? Oh, hell no. So we took care of the issue. What’s life without a little fun?” Ron looked into Snape’s eyes, enjoying the surprise in his eyes. Being able to shock Snape gave him a feeling of warmth, spreading though his chest. At least, he hoped that’s what was causing it.

“I’ll be damned.” Snape actually looked a little impressed.

“Probably,” Ron replied cheerfully. “But you’ll probably have a lot of company.” He grinned as he said it, not believing his own cheek.

A small smile, barely an upturning of the lips, ghosted over Snape’s lips. Their eyes met and Ron felt a spark in his groin. He started and he and Snape jumped apart in surprise.

Snape gritted his teeth in frustration. Playing the monk in Voldemort’s army had a price. Among them was an almost constant state of arousal. The other option was…less appealing and always had been. If he couldn’t have someone willingly, he didn’t want them.

The room swam uncomfortably and the ground rose up underneath them, knocking them both over. Ron found himself on a mountain of pillows pinned underneath a very pissed Snape. *Oh, god.* He suppressed a moan. It had been a while and the long, lean form on top of him felt good. Never mind who it was. He felt his body harden in response. *I am so dead. He’s going to kill me.* Ron squirmed, trying to figure out how to get out of this predicament with all of his body parts intact.

Snape wasn’t sure what the hell was going on but he didn’t like it. He was preparing to bite the Weasel’s head off when he noticed the expression on the boy’s face. Then he noticed something pressing his hips. His own, traitorous body responded in kind. Ron started to squirm, trying to get away. A primal part of Snape’s brain growled. *Mine!*

*Snape’s kissing me! Snape’s kissing me!* Ron thought in a panic. He tasted faintly of cinnamon and Ron couldn’t help but respond to his demanding mouth. *Oh, oh my.* He’d never been so hard in his life. *And he hasn’t even touched me yet,* he thought giddily. Snape’s mouth left his and began exploring his neck. Ron panted. Of their own accord, his hands found their ways up Severus’ chest and started fumbling with the buttons. *Stupid buttons!* He echoed the thought out loud and Severus chuckled into his ear. Ron moaned in response.

Snape was startled by the level of passion he felt for this annoying boy. *He’s a Weasley for Merlin’s Sake! But oh, he tastes so good!* Snape plundered Ron’s willing mouth. Their tongues battled and Ron’s arms ghosted up his chest. Severus buried his face in the crook of Ron’s neck, tasting the salty flesh. He couldn’t wait to feel more of him and, apparently, neither could Ron. Snape chuckled smugly and gripped his wand. He whispered a spell and the two found themselves blissfully nude.

Having Snape’s erection pressed hotly into his belly was driving Ron crazy. His hands seemed to be everywhere, teasing him. Ron tried to get back at him, scraping his fingers down Severus’ back, sucking at his neck.

“Enough foreplay,” Ron finally mumbled. No sooner had he said it than he found himself flipped over on his belly his cock rubbing deliciously against the nubby cloth of the pillows. Severus whispered another spell and Ron felt himself lubed up in prepation. *Figures he’s a top,* was all he managed to think before Severus stretched him, entering slowly. He paused a moment before setting a brisk tempo pumping in and out of the writhing red head.

It had been far too long since he’d had this pleasure. Snape groaned as he felt Ron’s heat envelope him. *Figures he’s noisy,* Snape thought though secretly he enjoyed Ron’s mewling. Snape grabbed Ron’s hips and dragged him onto all fours. Then he leaned forward, biting him roughly and reaching around to grip his rigid cock.

“Fuck, fuck…don’t stop.” Ron gasped and moaned when Snape’s hand gripped him. Snape grunted back. *I wouldn’t stop if it started raining jelly beans…I’ve really been around Dumbledore too much.* Snape felt pressure building in his balls and he pumped desperately.

Ron was babbling incoherently. Every stroke drove him higher until he was almost afraid he wouldn\'t get to come down.

“Sev-er-us,” he panted as he came, splattering all over his partner’s hand and the pillows.

Ronald Weasley crying his name pushed Severus over the edge and he came, pumping his seed into Ron’s twitching ass. The two collapsed into the mountain of pillows, trying to catch their breath.

“You should have told me you had a thing for me.” Snape muttered a few minutes later.

“Me?” Ronald squawked. “I think it takes two to tango, buddy!”

“The pillows weren\'t my idea.” Snape snapped back, wondering if he’d made a mistake.

“Well, I didn’t…” Ron paused in his reply and looked thoughtful. “I think it was the School,” he finally said.

“The what?” Snape looked confused. *What the hell is he on about?*

“Yeah. It likes me.” Ronald mumbled, his pale skin flushing.

“The school…likes you?” Snape said slowly, working it out in his mind. It would make sense that a building this old, this imbued with magic would develop something of a personality.

“Uh huh. It tells me stuff, sometimes. In fact, it can be hard to get it to shut up.” Ron looked hesitantly at Severus, worried he would laugh at him.

“What kind of stuff?” Snape had a moment of panic. A lot of stuff went on in this school that he did NOT want Ron knowing about.

“Like, birds are sitting on the roof and it’s raining and death eaters have invaded the school. You know, the regular.” Ron replied.

“Well that explains last year. Seems you have some use after all.” Snape replied, winking to take the sting out.

An uncomfortable silence fell and the two shifted awkwardly.

“So, now what?” Ron asked, finally breaking the silence.

“Err…” Snape replied, unsure what to say.

A rain of small objects showered over them. Snape picked one up and started laughing.

“What’s so funny?” Ron demanded.

“I think the school REALLY likes you.” Snape said, handing Ron the small package.

Ron looked down at the small packet of chocolate sauce and thought *Oh my.*