Pandus

A grey mouse, an ugly duckling turning into a beautiful swan. It had been seen so many times – but not this time. Amanda stood in a corner, looking at the other students, careless and joyful. Chatting about Quidditch, boys, girls, money or the newest kind of pranks. The trio passed by, Harry surrounded by Hermione and Ron, talking about the latest event, properly the defeat of another monster or Harry’s great performance in quidditch.

What do they know?

Clenching her transfiguration book close to her chest she continued, walking up the stairs to the library – towards another Sunday afoon oon by a table by the window. Studying for no reason at all, she knew that she would choke when the teacher asked her, not being able to get a word passed her lips.

What did they knew?

She could just close her eyes, she knew the way by heart, she’d been walking it a million times - or almost. Down the hall, second corridor on the right and up the stairs. She wouldn’t be amazed if she spend more time in the library than Hermione did, the clever little… She stopped. No – no bad words about her, she was clever and popular and if she would take her time and look past her books she would see that she was adored by lots, mostly by Harry and Ron… ok – Ron was the one totally lost in her and she didn’t even know?

Was she as clever as suspected, or was it all from a book? The girl had no idea what was going on around her, even with her closets friends.
The famous trio was now in their 6th year, all had done well, Hermione was Head Girl – no surprise there. Ron was head of the chess club and Harry had become Quidditch Captain when Oliver had graduated from Hogwarts.
Oliver was back though, back at doing what he loved. Quidditch. Madam Hooch had had a little ‘accident’ and Oliver had been offered the position as teacher much against Prof. McGonnagal. She was sure that he would favour his old house and well – not care too much about the pupils’ well-being but Prof. Dumbledore believed in him.

Amanda scoffed and turned a corner.

Great – her tormenter was back at the school and she had been looking forward to a few years without being constantly corrected in everything she did. “No Amanda – not like that...” “Are you stupid Mandy, you have to do it like this…!”
She sighed. Begin the sister of Oliver was not a joyride, nothing was good enough and everything she did had to be undone and corrected by him.

She stopped. By Merlin – she couldn’t go on like this, it was wearing her out and well, she would rather jump from the tower than continue. Why was it so difficult?
She leaned against the wall, sighing she dropped to the floor, a bit roughly as she sat with her back against the wall, resting her forehead on her knees. Damn him!

Footsteps.

*Ahem*

She looked up. Oh great.

“Sitting in the hallway Miss Wood – it’s not a resting place”

Professor Snape. How wonderful – he had this weekend watch? Now she was sure her life would end.

“Sorry Professor but-“

“Sorry won’t cut it Miss Wood, besides you should have handed in an essay on the invisibility-potion this Friday”

She got up and looked up, a second later she was studying her shoes – as always. His glare and the coldness radiating from those dark eyes always made her look down, like she had done something wrong.

“I did professor – it was on your desk on time!”

“No, it wasn’t – you’re the only one who hasn’t handed it in”

“But professor-“

She looked up but again words failed her, she simply couldn’t continue.

“That’s it Miss Wood – detention. Meet me in the dungeons at 8 o’clock tonight.”

The swish of robes as he turned and headed down the hallway again, away from her and properly on his way to torment someone else, make someone else pay for –his- miserable life. Detention? Great – and on a Sunday. Slamming her head against the wall, a bit rougher than she meant to, she stood there, looking like an idiot but still, it was all she could manage at the time being. He would properly make her clean out all the cauldrons after cleaning the floor, and the desks and… A sob escaped her throat. She hated this.

Suddenly she was moving again, not even thinking about it she had turned and walked back to the main hallway, turned left and headed for the stairs. Looking up she sighed, it was a long way but she needed to think, to clear her mind.

A step.

Another one….

Her feet just carried her without much thinking; she was off, in another place. Far away. Passing the windows she saw that it was a wonderful morning, it would be a beautiful day. She sighed. Another beautiful day which she wouldn’t enjoy because… She stopped by a window and looked out. Why was it? The sky was blue and everything seemed fine – why couldn’t she just enjoy it? Looking downwards she saw her brother on the field, practicing Quidditch as always. The Slytherin team this time, judging on the green robes and well – white haired seeker.

Malfoy! Amanda stepped back, leaning against the cold wall. A more rude and cruel person was hard to find, he was everything you would expect of a Malfoy. Another tormentor? No, not really, he had no idea she existed which was good because then he wouldn’t know she was around and he wouldn’t pick on her. She decided to continue up to the top – to the cornice. For a better view? Some fresh air? Or time to think? She didn’t know just yet, it was on rare occasions she moved outside, her skin was pale due to that, almost blue. Her brown hair was boring and bushy as a certain other girl but her eyes were nothing no one had ever seen. A mix of green and brown, it was impossible to see what colour – like the forest floor an autumn afternoon. Leaves in every colour creating a mosaic of brown, green, yellow, and maroon colours. Beautiful? No – not at all. Messy and confusing, something that reflected her personality.

She reached the top, pushing the old oak door open she stepped outside on the parapet, holding a hand over her eyes she took a few minutes to let her eyes get use to the bright light, it was a marvellous day.
The wind caught her hair, trying to take off with it, take it away. Oh how she wished to follow, to leave this place, to leave forever.
Shouting made her turn towards the quidditch pitch; a bludger was heading her way. Oh great! Just what she needed, dropping to the floor the black ball barely missed her head. That would have hurt if it had hit.

A broom followed and she looked up, Adrian Purcey passed her with a bat in his hand, she guessed that a Weasley was following closely.

*Bam*

The bludger headed towards the pitch again, still part of the game, not like her – that seemed to be her 15 second of fame. Not that she minded being out of the spotlight but sometimes it was annoying when people didn’t even know that Oliver had a sister. She got up and brushed her robe off, looking towards she saw Oliver waving at her, she turned and looked behind her – no, he was waving at her. Could it be?

Shaking her head she sat down on the cornice, swinging her legs in the thin air. She was free – oh well, almost. Looking down she got dizzy for a few seconds, it would pass but it was a funny feeling, something you couldn’t read about in a book, something you should experience for yourself. On your own body.

*Ahem*

She jerked back, loosing her balance and dropping to the cornice, yet again. She looked up. Even with everything turned upside down she always recognised that face, those eyes and that glare. Snape.
That was just not happening, twice in one day?

“Miss Wood – tired of life already? I mean – I’m sure it’s against the rules to try and commit suicide!”

Oh no, he was not pulling that on her, slowly getting up she looked at him shortly before looking down – as always.

“No, no that was not it Prof. Snape I was just-“

He cut her off.

“I really don’t care what you were doing, you’re not allowed up here…”

He smirked and something scary happened with his eyes, he seemed to almost enjoy himself.

“… at least you’re not allowed up here by me!”

She couldn’t believe it, was he playing? Using his powers over her for fun?
She stepped back, no, she had to be imagining things.

“I…er…”

Words failed her yet again, she was used to it but she kind of needed them right now, it was time for her to show that she was more than a yawning trout, a stupid girl in no control of words.
He stepped closer.

“No – I’m…er…”

He smirked and took another step closer.

“What’s the matter Miss Wood? In lack of words as usual?”

Her heal hit the small parapet, she knew she was on the edge now and he was still coming closer.
She felt her heart pound, she had always feared the Potion Master and well, he had never given her much attention only withdrawn points for the usual no reason at all. He was extremely close now, closer than she had ever wanted anyone. His breath and heartbeat. She was actually amazed, he wasn’t a walking dead, he was a breathing living being. Her mind raced, illogical things came to her, nothing that seemed like a plan to get her out of this, no, stupid things she had done, an knocked over ink bottle, a time she tripped and fell over Oliver’s broom, how nicely his jacket under the cloak was buttoned.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

Her head snapped up, had he said anything? His eyes: those cold and inhuman eyes. She felt like an abyss would be more friendly, not as draining of her powers, not making the place spin. She was leaning backwards, over the edge – trying desperately not to be too close to him.

“I’m-I’m… I’m sorry Sir… but-“

A pale and thin finger was placed on her shoulder, not adding much pressure just enough to make her loose her balance. Oh no! Try to keep on your feet, to keep … no…
The stonefloor disappeared from under her feet, she tripped, falling so fast as if she was being pulled downwards…
This was it – this was the end.

“Amanda…!”