RIGHT TO REPLY
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
5,325
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female › Snape/Hermione
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
5,325
Reviews:
7
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
RIGHT TO REPLY
~@~@~@~
Disclaimer: Nothing in the Potterverse belongs to me. I have two children, an insane cat, and a credit card bill, and very little else, so there’s really no point in taking this further, is there?
Author’s Note: It’s a tongue-in-cheek response to a conversation on WIKTT group regarding reviews a while ago, it’s been up on my LJ and I’ve been asked to post it here. So here it is.
~@~@~@~
RIGHT TO REPLY
“Hermione, come to bed.”
“I can’t. I’ve got to finish this letter.”
“Not that bloody thing, still?”
“Shh, Severus. This is important.”
[A long pause, followed by a sigh.]
“I really do not understand why you cannot just say ‘That was lovely, thank you’, and be done with it.”
“Right. Severus, that’s what everyone says! It’s the most inane thing in the world. She’d rather have a candlelit dinner for two with Voldemort than hear me say that. It sounds like I haven\'t thought about it at all.”
“That’s actually ironic, considering you’ve spent all afternoon and evening thinking about what to say.”
“You know sometimes, Severus, you can be really rather snarky.”
“Give the girl a cigar.”
“Make that the epitome of Snarkiness.”
“It has come to my attention, Hermione, that whilst engaged in this particular pursuit you fail to grasp the subtle art that is humour.”
“Don’t roll your eyes behind my back, Severus. I can see you quite clearly, you know.”
“Ah yes, so you can. I forgot. Sorry.”
“Say it like you mean it, lover.”
“I’m your lover, am I? I must say, I’d forgotten that, since you haven\'t paid me the slightest bit of attention since you fondled my thigh in the Great Hall at luncheon this afternoon. I’ve got you on a promise, you know. The Penne alla Arrabiata\" has gone cold, and the champagne’s getting warm.”
“Well, I didn’t think this would take so bloody long, did I?”
“I really do not see what the problem is. Just a frank and honest appraisal will be sufficient. Trust me.”
“Trust you. Like I trusted you that no-one would find out we’d been using the Room of Requirement as an antigravity sex arena and I was absolutely mortified with embarrassment when Rolanda and Pomona walked in with the baby oil.”
“That was hardly my fault. You’ve got such a loud scream on you when you get excited.”
“Says the man who I have heard actually squawk whilst in the throes of passion.”
[A pause.]
“Severus, I’m stuck!”
“Then don’t send her anything.”
“I can’t do that! She might think I don’t care! No, Severu’ve ’ve got to send…something.”
[A longer pause.]
“No, no, no that won’t work either. She might think I’ve gone mental.”
“You take too long, and I’m going to start on the champagne.”
[A long pause.]
“And I won’t be bringing you a glass.”
“Don’t be a stuffed shirt, Sev.”
“Your shirt is more stuffed than mine will ever be, dearest.”
[A slight pause]
“Mmmmm… Severus! Leave my nipples alone. I mean it.”
“Ouch! There’s no need to hit me quite so hard.”
[A slight pause.]
“This hobby of yours is ruining our relationship.”
“I can’t believe I heard you say ‘relationship’, Severus, without actually spewing. You’re just trying to distract me so I won’t get finished. You’re going to make me look callous, Severus. Callous.”
“What would you have me say, Hermione? You’re working too hard. This should be an enjoyable process, not something that makes you feel so inadequate.”
\"But it has made me feel inadequate!\"
\"You feel inadequate! How do you think I feel? I mean, this whole thing…I love the colour scheme, naturally, but there’s no way ose ose is that big!\"
\"It’s that big, Severus. They\'ve used a bit of artistic license with my hair, though, bless them. But your nose, I\'m afraid...\"
\"Well there’s no need to point it out on every bloody page, is there?\"
“No one asked you to look over my shoulder, did they? Look. I’m trying to do something important here, darling. Trying to be constructive out out being too critical, to encourage without sounding patronising and above all, to tell the bloody woman that I really, really love her latest story without sounding like a sixteen-year-old with a vocabulary of eight words!”
“I am not convinced that someone who once wrote me fifteen yards of parchment on the uses of a single strand of Thestral hair could be flummoxed by such a task.”
“It’s much more maddening any any of your Potions classes ever were.”
“You really shouldn’t try to write while you’re talking to me, Hermione. You’ve spelled ‘wonderful’ with two ‘l’s…”
“Shut. Up. Then.”
“I wonder what Rolanda is doing tonight? I hear she loves champagne.”
“Sev…! Oh. Ha, bloody ha.”
“You think I’m not serious? Let me assure you, dear lady, that I – ”
“Look, I can’t write, ‘This is great!’ because she might think I don’t rate her other work. Neither will ‘Please write some more soon’ suffice, because she might think I’m pestering her. And I know that I’m perfectly capable of writing a full and frank appraisal complete with footnotes, but you know what happened the last time I did that?”
“I have a feeling you are about to tell me.”
“Well, it just sparked off a debate that’s never going to resolve, because everyone’s different, and everyone’s got a different opinion of what constitutes good feedback, and…and…”
[A pause.]
“Severus, why do I have the feeling you’re about to say, ‘then don’t review the latest chapter of Slytherin Night Fever and get over here this instant you silly cow before I tip that glass of champagne over your stuffed shirt and lick it off slowly’?”
“Because, my dear, I have taught you well in the art of Legilimency.”
“Oh.”
(the end)
Disclaimer: Nothing in the Potterverse belongs to me. I have two children, an insane cat, and a credit card bill, and very little else, so there’s really no point in taking this further, is there?
Author’s Note: It’s a tongue-in-cheek response to a conversation on WIKTT group regarding reviews a while ago, it’s been up on my LJ and I’ve been asked to post it here. So here it is.
~@~@~@~
RIGHT TO REPLY
“Hermione, come to bed.”
“I can’t. I’ve got to finish this letter.”
“Not that bloody thing, still?”
“Shh, Severus. This is important.”
[A long pause, followed by a sigh.]
“I really do not understand why you cannot just say ‘That was lovely, thank you’, and be done with it.”
“Right. Severus, that’s what everyone says! It’s the most inane thing in the world. She’d rather have a candlelit dinner for two with Voldemort than hear me say that. It sounds like I haven\'t thought about it at all.”
“That’s actually ironic, considering you’ve spent all afternoon and evening thinking about what to say.”
“You know sometimes, Severus, you can be really rather snarky.”
“Give the girl a cigar.”
“Make that the epitome of Snarkiness.”
“It has come to my attention, Hermione, that whilst engaged in this particular pursuit you fail to grasp the subtle art that is humour.”
“Don’t roll your eyes behind my back, Severus. I can see you quite clearly, you know.”
“Ah yes, so you can. I forgot. Sorry.”
“Say it like you mean it, lover.”
“I’m your lover, am I? I must say, I’d forgotten that, since you haven\'t paid me the slightest bit of attention since you fondled my thigh in the Great Hall at luncheon this afternoon. I’ve got you on a promise, you know. The Penne alla Arrabiata\" has gone cold, and the champagne’s getting warm.”
“Well, I didn’t think this would take so bloody long, did I?”
“I really do not see what the problem is. Just a frank and honest appraisal will be sufficient. Trust me.”
“Trust you. Like I trusted you that no-one would find out we’d been using the Room of Requirement as an antigravity sex arena and I was absolutely mortified with embarrassment when Rolanda and Pomona walked in with the baby oil.”
“That was hardly my fault. You’ve got such a loud scream on you when you get excited.”
“Says the man who I have heard actually squawk whilst in the throes of passion.”
[A pause.]
“Severus, I’m stuck!”
“Then don’t send her anything.”
“I can’t do that! She might think I don’t care! No, Severu’ve ’ve got to send…something.”
[A longer pause.]
“No, no, no that won’t work either. She might think I’ve gone mental.”
“You take too long, and I’m going to start on the champagne.”
[A long pause.]
“And I won’t be bringing you a glass.”
“Don’t be a stuffed shirt, Sev.”
“Your shirt is more stuffed than mine will ever be, dearest.”
[A slight pause]
“Mmmmm… Severus! Leave my nipples alone. I mean it.”
“Ouch! There’s no need to hit me quite so hard.”
[A slight pause.]
“This hobby of yours is ruining our relationship.”
“I can’t believe I heard you say ‘relationship’, Severus, without actually spewing. You’re just trying to distract me so I won’t get finished. You’re going to make me look callous, Severus. Callous.”
“What would you have me say, Hermione? You’re working too hard. This should be an enjoyable process, not something that makes you feel so inadequate.”
\"But it has made me feel inadequate!\"
\"You feel inadequate! How do you think I feel? I mean, this whole thing…I love the colour scheme, naturally, but there’s no way ose ose is that big!\"
\"It’s that big, Severus. They\'ve used a bit of artistic license with my hair, though, bless them. But your nose, I\'m afraid...\"
\"Well there’s no need to point it out on every bloody page, is there?\"
“No one asked you to look over my shoulder, did they? Look. I’m trying to do something important here, darling. Trying to be constructive out out being too critical, to encourage without sounding patronising and above all, to tell the bloody woman that I really, really love her latest story without sounding like a sixteen-year-old with a vocabulary of eight words!”
“I am not convinced that someone who once wrote me fifteen yards of parchment on the uses of a single strand of Thestral hair could be flummoxed by such a task.”
“It’s much more maddening any any of your Potions classes ever were.”
“You really shouldn’t try to write while you’re talking to me, Hermione. You’ve spelled ‘wonderful’ with two ‘l’s…”
“Shut. Up. Then.”
“I wonder what Rolanda is doing tonight? I hear she loves champagne.”
“Sev…! Oh. Ha, bloody ha.”
“You think I’m not serious? Let me assure you, dear lady, that I – ”
“Look, I can’t write, ‘This is great!’ because she might think I don’t rate her other work. Neither will ‘Please write some more soon’ suffice, because she might think I’m pestering her. And I know that I’m perfectly capable of writing a full and frank appraisal complete with footnotes, but you know what happened the last time I did that?”
“I have a feeling you are about to tell me.”
“Well, it just sparked off a debate that’s never going to resolve, because everyone’s different, and everyone’s got a different opinion of what constitutes good feedback, and…and…”
[A pause.]
“Severus, why do I have the feeling you’re about to say, ‘then don’t review the latest chapter of Slytherin Night Fever and get over here this instant you silly cow before I tip that glass of champagne over your stuffed shirt and lick it off slowly’?”
“Because, my dear, I have taught you well in the art of Legilimency.”
“Oh.”
(the end)