Figg her her hash brownies
folder
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,221
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › General
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,221
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Figg and her hash brownies
To me, Mrs. figg is an ok lady. Ja lia little on the weird side. But what really drives Harry away from her? Maybe the true story goes something like this….
Lightning flashes across the sky and I giggle maniacally. Read….if you dare.
Warning: drugs, sex, wrinkly grossness. ::shudders at thought::
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything…..
Harry pushed himself further behind the prickly bushes, concealing himself further. Harry watched as the dreaded Ms. Figg waddle down wisteria walk. She was humming ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’ again. An involuntary shudder coursed through his body as flashes of previous encounters danced into his thoughts. He wished she would stop that awful noise. She sounded more like a cat thrown into a blender on full speed. Finally, she wiggled out of view, and Harry let out the breath he was holding. How he hated that blasted woman! Never will he forget that awful night, the night that left him scarred for life….
It was a warm day. The sun was shining and birds were singing . The smell of brownies filled the air. Harry sat in the living room, wishing that the school year would hurry up and get here. His stomach growled as the delicious smell wavered into the room. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all. A few minuets later, Figg walked into the room, holding a large glass platter of warowniownies. She set in onto the table in front of him, and ordered the boy to eat. Who would turn down brownies? So Harry took one, and began eating as she blabbed about her childhood.
As Harry finished his brownie, he noticed how hot the room suddenly became. And how much hungrier he was. So, Harry took a second brownie and pretended to pay attention to whatever Figg was saying. Harry looked up at the fireplace. Wait a ?! T?! The fireplace seemed to be slightly moving to the left. He closed his eyes tight and shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, the fireplace was in the original spot. How…..odd. Figg kept on rambling on.
After an unknown amount had been consumed, he felt really odd. The couch seemed to be slightly moving. It felt as if he was on some ocean waves, rising a d falling with an invisible current. For some reason he thought this was funny, and began to giggle. Wait. Why was he laughing. Turning to his left, Harry noticed Figg was gone. Wait, when DID she leave? And when had his shirt come off? He hit the floor as a loud pop echoed around the room. Looking around and rolling on the ground like a ninja gone crazy, Harry looked for the source of the pop. Finally anr onr one came, and he looked right into the fireplace. The fire looked it it was dancing. How pretty. Transfixed, he began somberly moving toward the flame.
That’s when the large white bunny hopped out of it. “So ,you’re the one playing tricks on me?”
Wait, had he just talked to a bunny?!? The thought left as soon as it came, and he found himself following it around the living room. “come here, bunny bunny bunny!” Harry made a dive to catch it, but ended face-first into a door. Wait? Where had that come from! The cute rabbit hopped right into, and through the door. Harry opened the door to follow but lost him. The last thing Harry remembered was sitting down on a bed, giving up home of ever finding the cute widdle wabbit.
The next day, Harry shifted in his bed, and hit a lump. Opening his eyes, he saw only gray hair. After a moment of sputtering, Harry looked over to the person beside him. It was….Ms. Figg! Nude! Harry looked down….so was he! Her wrinkled age-spotted hand rested in his crotch! Harry ran, like he n ran ran before, back home. He ran right into his room, and locked himself in, not coming out for days.
Wiping his mouth after heaving up lunch he just consumed, he heard Vernon’s voice float out the window. ‘Oh yes. And petunia, who will watch Harry this weekend while we are camping?’
‘why, Ms. Figg, of course”
Harry felt himself pale, and hit the floor unconscious.
******************************
I know it was lame, but I was bored.
::an old lady, wearing only a thong to cover her wrinkled self, comes out of a dark corner.’ would you like to eat a brownie?’ You get one if you review’ with that, she turns and runs, wrinkled ass wobbling like jello gone soft behind her::
Lightning flashes across the sky and I giggle maniacally. Read….if you dare.
Warning: drugs, sex, wrinkly grossness. ::shudders at thought::
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything…..
Harry pushed himself further behind the prickly bushes, concealing himself further. Harry watched as the dreaded Ms. Figg waddle down wisteria walk. She was humming ‘I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts’ again. An involuntary shudder coursed through his body as flashes of previous encounters danced into his thoughts. He wished she would stop that awful noise. She sounded more like a cat thrown into a blender on full speed. Finally, she wiggled out of view, and Harry let out the breath he was holding. How he hated that blasted woman! Never will he forget that awful night, the night that left him scarred for life….
It was a warm day. The sun was shining and birds were singing . The smell of brownies filled the air. Harry sat in the living room, wishing that the school year would hurry up and get here. His stomach growled as the delicious smell wavered into the room. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all. A few minuets later, Figg walked into the room, holding a large glass platter of warowniownies. She set in onto the table in front of him, and ordered the boy to eat. Who would turn down brownies? So Harry took one, and began eating as she blabbed about her childhood.
As Harry finished his brownie, he noticed how hot the room suddenly became. And how much hungrier he was. So, Harry took a second brownie and pretended to pay attention to whatever Figg was saying. Harry looked up at the fireplace. Wait a ?! T?! The fireplace seemed to be slightly moving to the left. He closed his eyes tight and shook his head. When he opened his eyes again, the fireplace was in the original spot. How…..odd. Figg kept on rambling on.
After an unknown amount had been consumed, he felt really odd. The couch seemed to be slightly moving. It felt as if he was on some ocean waves, rising a d falling with an invisible current. For some reason he thought this was funny, and began to giggle. Wait. Why was he laughing. Turning to his left, Harry noticed Figg was gone. Wait, when DID she leave? And when had his shirt come off? He hit the floor as a loud pop echoed around the room. Looking around and rolling on the ground like a ninja gone crazy, Harry looked for the source of the pop. Finally anr onr one came, and he looked right into the fireplace. The fire looked it it was dancing. How pretty. Transfixed, he began somberly moving toward the flame.
That’s when the large white bunny hopped out of it. “So ,you’re the one playing tricks on me?”
Wait, had he just talked to a bunny?!? The thought left as soon as it came, and he found himself following it around the living room. “come here, bunny bunny bunny!” Harry made a dive to catch it, but ended face-first into a door. Wait? Where had that come from! The cute rabbit hopped right into, and through the door. Harry opened the door to follow but lost him. The last thing Harry remembered was sitting down on a bed, giving up home of ever finding the cute widdle wabbit.
The next day, Harry shifted in his bed, and hit a lump. Opening his eyes, he saw only gray hair. After a moment of sputtering, Harry looked over to the person beside him. It was….Ms. Figg! Nude! Harry looked down….so was he! Her wrinkled age-spotted hand rested in his crotch! Harry ran, like he n ran ran before, back home. He ran right into his room, and locked himself in, not coming out for days.
Wiping his mouth after heaving up lunch he just consumed, he heard Vernon’s voice float out the window. ‘Oh yes. And petunia, who will watch Harry this weekend while we are camping?’
‘why, Ms. Figg, of course”
Harry felt himself pale, and hit the floor unconscious.
******************************
I know it was lame, but I was bored.
::an old lady, wearing only a thong to cover her wrinkled self, comes out of a dark corner.’ would you like to eat a brownie?’ You get one if you review’ with that, she turns and runs, wrinkled ass wobbling like jello gone soft behind her::