For Delight

The characters are Rowling’s, the song is C. B. Davis’, the plot, what little of it there is, is probably mine, though more than likely borrowed from my surroundings and my inspirations.

Warnings: General angst and mentions of *shifty eyes* boy on boy sex


Watching him sleep I wonder what happened to him while he was away that made him so… passionate, wild, barely controlled.
He was hardly through the door before we were practically down each other’s throats. Not that I minded of course.
Two and a half months is far too long to be separated from your lover. But there’s a war on and it would have been to risky for all parties involved if we’d stayed together. He’s a wanted man after all.

You can hide desire
Where the light won’t shine,
And you can smother fire
But it burns you,
Ooo for delight you forget to learn.

I stretch out beside him again, breath hitching as I realize just how sore I really am, muscles I don’t remember ever being sore previously.
Muscles I didn’t really realize I had. Then again, we /were/ going at it for the bettert ort of … well a very long time, as it was late evening when he got back, and it’s well after midnight now, though not quite on the way to dawn.
I\'m actually glad we managed to wear each other out so thoroughly, it means he’ll sleep without nightmares for once. I’ve always wished there were something I could do about those besides watch.

We think we know each other
But there’s no way in,
I’ll never follow you
To where you feel it,
Ooo for delight we pretend to know.

Even still he has nightmares, though perhaps now they’re because he knows now what dangers and horrors are really out there. He’s been a part of them, just as I have.
We managed, somehow, to stay quite sheltered while we were in school.
It seems so long ago now, though I know it’s only been a little over a year. Amazing how much a year can change people. Though we really haven’t changed so much, we’re still the same people we were then, we just know more, have seen more and have done more. More than we should have perhaps.
I should sleep, but I don’t /want/ to, half afraid that I’ll miss something, or that he’ll be gone again when I wake up.

No you’re not Changing
But all your Disguises are wearing thin.

He stirs slightly as I reach up to brush a lock of hair away from his eyes. He really is beautiful. Sometimes it almost hurts to look at him knowing that someone so wonderful could possibly love me as much as he does. I wish I know what I did to deserve him so that I can do it again next time around.
He must be just as sore as I am, he keeps shifting positions in his sleep. Not much, just settling. He can’t be comfortable with his arms under the pillow like that, and there’s a welt on the right one that I know I didn’t cause…
Gods no… He didn’t… He couldn’t have…
I have to run my fingers across it to make sure I’m not seeing things.
I’m not.
It’s the Dark Mark.

You’re cold inside,
There’s a serpent that hides
Underneath your once perfect skin.

I can feel my jaw working reflexively; already having trouble breathing, heart thudding in my ears, my throat closing as the panic starts setting in, this is wrong, this can’t be happening, I must be dreaming, just a particularly vivid nightmare.
Merlin please no, he wouldn’t have, /couldn’t/ have, I have to wake up, please wake up, please please please, wake up now please wake up.
I gasp as his eyes flutter open, taking a moment to focus, brow furrowing slightly.
I’m not dreaming.

And what was once your heart
Beats like a hollow drum,
The morning is too bright
For you to face it,
Ooo for delight you gave up the sun.

I jerk away, trying to get ahold of myself as he sits up, brow furrowed further at my panic, “Draco? What’s wrong?”
Wishing I could keep the squeak from my voice I answer, catching his arm and turning it so the Mark is visible, “When? /Why/?”
He had the sense to look apologetic, I’d nearly forgotten what a good actor he’s always been, “Summer before seventh year. I was going to tell you, it was… just never the right time.”

Ooo for delight
You’ll put up with pain,

“And why?” He shakes his head, “To make sure that I’d survive this mess.” He sighs softly, raking his hands through his hair, “And it’s been my… mission, to bring you into the fold.”
Now I’m too angry to be shocked, too many things vying for dominance in my mind, “Seventh year. When you finally started paying attention to me. Because of this? Everything we had was a lie!”

Ooo for delight you’ll pretend again,

“No! No, Draco, don’t you see?” He catches my hand, “I haven’t taken you in yet because I /can’t/. I love you.”
But he doesn’t look me in the eye when he says it. My Harry’s in there somewhere, I know he is, but this isn’t him. Just a ploy to regain my trust. I’m going to believe it anyway. I love him too much not to. Maybe I’ll be able to bring him back.
I manage a smile, shaking my head and brushing my fingers against his cheek, “It’s alright Harry. You’re right you know. It’s the only way we’ll survive this.”

Ooo for delight you gave up control,

Part of me is trying not to believe this, even still and it’s been six months now. But I did what I had to. This is the only way to bring him back.
Though even if I can’t bring him back, we’ll still be together.
My arm is still feeling bruised from our last calling. But the pain will fade, and in time I won’t even notice, and no matter what happens, what it is I do, what I’m responsible for, Harry will be right there beside me.

Ooo for delight
You’ll deny you ever had a Soul.