Counting The Cost
Counting The Cost
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normal\'>Counting the Cost
normal\'>
normal\'>For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth
not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he
normal\'>Luke 14: 28
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The small cell was dark and dirty, designed to maximize the
discomfort of its occupant. The lack of light was another means of torture,
intended to enhance the fear and misery in the prisoner’s mind. There was a
constant, maddening sound of water dripping at one corner of the cell, the only
audible voice in the place unless the guards were about to take him for another
session of endless pain. The smell of human waste, blood, rotten things, and
despair permeated the stale, damp air. mso-bidi-font-size:12.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:red\'>
It was freezing here. Remus supposed he must be in the
dungeon. Not that it mattered.
Blood was still oozing from the cuts that decorated his
skin. He wondered fleetingly which curse they had used.
Slowly, he was losing consciousness. Trapped in this
excruciating body, oblivion was more than welcomed. He wished he could die and
join his lover in the next world, but he knew better. They’d heal him soon;
heal him only enough to keep him alive. Remus must not die before he spilled
out the location of the new Order of Phoenix’ headquarter.
The Dark Lord wouldn’t be able to break him, though.
Because Remus and and was prepared to endure everything when
he agreed to be the Secret Keeper’s of the Order’s new headquarter.
Because after his lover’s death, nothing
else mattered.
Remus heard footsteps approaching and the door being opened.
Perhaps they would heal him. Or take him out for another torture
any kind of torture they hadn’t inflicted him with. Countless Cruciatus, hot
iron, potions, cold, hunger, bone breaker curse, beating, and the last one was
a curse that left his body with bleeding cuts in less than a second. What else
would they do to him? It couldn’t be worse than what he had suffered, could it?
Sirius, Sirius… please
take me with you.
Two Death Eaters entered his cell and dragged him out. Remus
cried out in pain from their rough treatment. It hurt so much. Remus was used
to pain; he had had pain all his life. He could bear some more. It was nothing
to be afraid of, he kept telling himself.
He was brought to the room where he was usually tortured.
Some Death Eaters were there, as well as Voldemort. The Death Eaters threw him
into the center of the room and spelled his clothes away, leaving him naked and
trembling on the cold stone.
“Where is the Order’s headquarter, beast?” That was
breaking him, forcing him to spill his secret. So far, he hadn’t done a great
job. Remus wondered why Voldemort didn’t assign someone else.
Sirius, Sirius,
“At your house, nursing your grandmother’s broken heart,”
Remus spat out. A vicious kick on his rib made him double in pain, but it was
worth it. He swore he could see a glint of amusement in Voldemort’s red eyes,
and heard few chuckles from the Death Eaters rsurrsurrounded him. Remus could
feel his lover’s approval for his uncharacteristic response. He spent few
seconds relished in the mental image of Sirius laughing along with him.
“It looks like our executioner has failed to show his skill
in interrogation,” Voldemort said in a casual tone. “Severus, perhaps you can
show him a trick or two.”
Snape. The
bastard that had betrayed them all.
MacNair kicked him, making him
almost black out in pain.
Remus was forced onto all fours by the Death Eaters who had
dragged him there. His legs were roughly parted. A murmured
spell.
Rape was one of the most classical torture methods known to
man, and thus Remus couldn’t say that he didn’t expect this, that he hadn’t
prepared to endure this pain and humiliation that would rob what little dignity
he still had.
Still, the moment Snape’s hard cock slammed in with the
expected brutality, Remus couldn’t fight a traitorous tear from leaking from
the corner of his eye.
It was the first tear Remus shed since his capture.
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The next several sessions were almost the same, rape,
beating, rape, Crucio, rape again. There was no sign they would mortally wound
him.
His spirit, on the other hand, was slowly breaking.
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Moody, with his morbid imagination, had suggested once that
the Death Eaters might use Remus’ monthly transformation to break him. The rest
of the Order had dismissed it as too far fetched.
Remus had an insane urge to laugh at the mental image of
Moody saying ‘I told you so’ in front of him and the Ord/p>
/p>
The little girl was not older than five, with chubby pale
cheeks and blond hair. She was bound. She was shivering, and tears kept
spilling from her big blue eyes.
“Please, let me go,” she whimpered. Her request was granted by the
smirking Snape who had thrown her into Remus’ cell. She hurriedly ran to the
darkest corner, crying and hugging herself.
“Perhaps you can play Grandma until the big bad wolf eats
her, Lupin?” Snape laughed and closed the door.
Remus crawled to the girl and hugged her. “Shh… It will be
okay,” he choked out the lie. The full moon was an hour or two away, he could
feel it.
The girl buried her face on Remus’ lap and cried until she
fell asleep. With his remaining strength, Remus snapped her neck.
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The next day, they threw him a one year old infant with
black messy hair who eerily reminded him of baby Harry.
Remus snapped his neck too.
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The last day of the full moon, they locked him up with a
Muggle family. A pregnant mother, the father, and their
toddler boy who gurgled and smiled when Remus put him on his lap.
Remus begged the adults to kill him, to bang his head
against the wall. He tried to explain, frustratingly so, of what would happen
when the moon arose.
They didn’t believe him.
The next day, Remus woke up to the bloodied corpses he had
torn apart. He wept for hours and wished they had broken him much sooner.
Sirius, Sirius. I am
sorry. I am so sorry…
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If their intention had been to break him, they had
succeeded. Ever since the full moon, Remus had completely withdrawn into
himself, unresponsive even to the most painful torture they inflicted upon him.
They tried to starve him, and then bribe him with food. But a living corpse
didn’t need to eat. His nose didn’t even twitch at the aroma of the finest
delicacies in front of him. He writhed under Cruciatus, but he didn’t whimper.
Snape didn’t dare to push his limit, afraid that the werewolf would go mad like
the Longbottoms.
“Severus,” Voldemort was clearly unhappy. “I don’t need a
catatonic werewolf. I need the information of the Order’s headquarter!”
“Forgive me, milord.” Snape answered with a quivering voice.
“Give me one more chance.”
“Just give him Veritaserum.”
“Veritaserum doesn’t work on a
Secret Keeper, milord.”
Voldemort wanted to scream in frustration.
“Don’t worry, milord,” Severus hastily said. “We have broken
him. Now we only need to break his apathy.”
“And you have an idea of how you could do it?” The Dark Lord
saw his prisoner, strapped on chair; blood flowed from the numerous razor cuts
on his body. His eyes were empty, as if his soul had been sucked out of him by
a Dementor’s Kiss. How could someone make a soulless
body talk?
Pettigrew stepped forward and
whispered to his lord, “Let me try, Master.”
The Dark Lord raised his eyebrows, this was most unusual.
But his servant looked very certain and it wouldn’t hurt to try.
unconvinced. “But if you kill him before we get the information, your fate will
not far different your so called normal\'>friend.”
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Three days later, Remus found himself in the torture chamber
again, uncaring of the painful curses cast upon him. His body reacted: he
trashed, retched, and vomitted, but he remained
silent and detached.
cla class=MsoNormal>Pettigrew smirked. The situation
would soon change.
He clapped his hand and two junior Death Eaters went out and
dragged a bound man and threw him in front of Remus.
Whose eyes immediately widened in surprise at the sight of
his lover, wearing the very clothes as when fell into the Veil. But Sirius was
dead, wasn’t he? It was impossible…
Pettigrew and some Death Eaters
simultaneously cast Cruciatus on the man, causing him to trash and scream
violently in pain, crushing whatever doubt Remus was having.
“No!” Remus screamed. He tried to crawl to his lover, but
was held back roughly by a Death Eater.
“No…,” he whimpered. Sirius was still convulsing in pain.
Remus felt hot tears spilling from his eyes. “Stop, please!” Remus begged for
the first time, struggling vainly in his captors clutches.
Pettigrew sneered. “A bit more and
our precious pup will be insane.”
Remus was mad with grief. His mate was suffering, his Sirius
was in pain. His mind, broken by his emotional damage, could only think of one
thing: he must save his lover. At all cost.
Remus struggled as hard as he could, screaming
and kicking like a madman he was. His voice echoed in the room, along with the
Dark Lord’s sadistic laughter. It was too easy.
It didn’t take long until Remus exhausted himself. The man
cried and whimpered, begging for his tormentors to free his lover.
The Dark Lord approached Remus and petted his head. “Just
tell me where the Order’s headquarter is, and I’ll set you and your loved one
free,” he said with soft tone.
“You lie,” Remus sobbed.
“I am not lying. See?” He released Sirius Black from his
bond, who immediately curled up on the floor.
Remus looked at Voldemort; his expression was like a child
to his mother who promised him cookie he he behaved.
Voldemort smiled kindly to him. “Easy isn’t it? Just tell me
the place, and I will free both of you. That is what you want, isn’t it?”
Remus nodded, but he was still uncertain. He wanted to help
Sirius, he had to help his lover, and telling the red-eyed man who had released
Sirius the “big secret” was not hard. Still, there was this nagging feeling
that he shouldn’t tell anything.
Pettigrew raised his wand.
“They are staying at the Shrieking Shack.” Remus cried
hastily, ignoring the annoying small voice in his head.
The Dark Lord smiled. “That’s my good wolf,” he said. “As
for your reward….” He pointed his wand to Sirius and muttered the Killing curse
before Remus could react. Then he nodded indulgently to his rat servant, “You
may kill your werewolf friend.”
Pettigrew approached his victim to
be, who was still shell-shocked at the sight of his lover’s dead body. He
grabbed his former friend’s throat with his silver hand, grinning widely as he
snapped Remus Lupin’s throat.
If Stubby Board/spa/span> could fool the
Quibbler’s reporter, he could fool Sirius’ Black broken boyfriend.
*fin*
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A/N: Thanks to Ntamara for her
quick and helpful beta reading. Feedback is more than welcomed.