Fortune

Standard disclaimer: I own nothing. (really, I live in an apartment, its pretty pointless to sue me) Severus and Hermione belong to Rowling, Warner & et al. Severus’ buttons are also, apparently, spoken for. The setting is Chinese Restaurant Modern and no-one has every copyrighted that to the best of mowleowledge. The foolishness, however, is all mine.

Severus Snape examined the cookie with a critical eye. “You mean we are supposed to eat this?”

“Um hmm. Its tradition; You open the cookie to gour our fortune.” Hermione Granger took another forkful of her fried bean curd and then gestured in his direction with the fork “Go on them, Professor, lets see if you’ve a good fortune.”

Hogwart’s potions master sneered in response and set the cookie back down on the plate the waiter had dropped between them. Seeing his response Hermione sighed in exasperation “You have to, everyone does. If you don’t, people will notice.”

Severus cast a quick glance at the diners around him; thus far none of them had noticed anything untoward. Casually he began to pick apart the cookie at the seam. Muggle traditions made little enough sense, what was one more bizarre ritual; at least this one didn’t involve the telly.

“No.” she interrupted him “Like this.” Hermione picked up her cookie and snapped it in half, plucked the fortune out neatly and looked expectantly at her companion.

Severus grimaced at the young woman sitting across from him.

“It doesn’t bite.”

“Very well.” He cracked the cookie in half and looked across the table at her.

“Well, read it then.”

Severus quickly scanned the message on the slip of paper in his hand. One eyebrow quirked in response.

“Well, is it good?”

“It says..”

“No, no, no! Don’t read it to me!, Just tell me if its good.”

Severus thought for a moment “Well, I suppose it could be considered…”

Hermione sighed “Professor, it’s a fortune. Is it good fortune or bad fortune.”

“Bad then, if I must make a determination.”

Hermione gasped “Oh no!” She refilled his cup of tea and passed it back to him “Quick then, eat it!”

“Eat it?”

“Yes, eat it. Eating it reverses the fortune.”

Snape regarded her with disbelief. “I cannot understand why you would believe such nonsense.”

Hermione glared at him, her eyes flashing “Professor Snape,” she whispered “I may be piss poor at divination but even I know that prophecies…and fortunes… can come true.”

“You could have told me that I’d have to eat the damned thing before I had opened it. I would have simply avoided the cookie.”

Hermione rolled her eyes “Tradition, sir.” She leaned forward, bringing her head closer to his across the table. “I know full well that if I explain these things to you in advance you will just refuse to go along with them.” The Potions Master glared at her but couldn’t argue with her statement. He imagined those damned muggles were still twittering over his refusal to step into the tube. “Just eat it.”

Severus glared at her once then popped the paper strip into his mouth, chewed it and then swallowed it with a grimace. “Awful.” He commented taking a sip of tea to wash it down. A mad choking noise made him lift his eyes from the cup, Hermione was slumped over the table, her head buried in her arms.

Suddenly he had a bad feeling.

“Miss Granger,” he growled. “would you like to explain….”

“I’m sorry.” She gasped, lifting her head to peer at him through tangled bangs. “I just couldn’t…” she slumped back in her seat, gasping for breath.

“Couldn’t what, Miss Granger.”

“Oh, Professor. You’re so gullible!” she broke into peals of laughter.

Severus glared at the young woman across from him.

“Miss Granger, you cannot imagine how you will pay for this.” he whispered flatly.

“I’m sure I will Professor.” She wheezed out as she flagged down the waiter and indicated that they were ready for the check. “Just eat your cookie, you certainly earned it.” She scanned her fortune and, smiling, tucked it into the pocket of her blouse. “You will emerge ahead of the crowd.” she quoted. Noticing the professor’s gimlet stare she jauntily dipped her cookie in her tea and began chewing.

Professor Snape took a delicate bite of the cookie and swallowed gamely. “Nearly as bad as the fortune.”

Hermione shrugged “Acquired taste, I guess.”

A few moments later as they were walking down the street,ds dds discretely out to flag down the night bus, Hermione paused “Just out of curiosity, What did your fortune say, Professor?”

“All men are fools in women’s eyes.”

Hermione Granger collapsed onto the curb and laughed until she cried.