Twas the Night Before Sixth Year

"Ah yes, Draco, my boy! Why, of course there's a Broom Fairy who still comes to all good little boys at the cusp of their sixth year! Who told you any different?" Lucius peered into his son's big puddled eyes, now appearing to be two solid masses of granite pasted there with clear varnish.

"N-nobody... it j-just seems kind of," Draco snorted loudly before settling down before his father on the floor in his jammies, all ready for bed, "... made up."

Lucius tried his best to expel a genuinely indignant gasp but failed and just sounded as though he needed his nonexistent inhaler.

"Well now, we'll just have to take a look at another veritable cornucopia of information in the Malfoy archives!" Slowly teetering upright, Lucius mentally cursed giving Draco's new broom a test drive in the vast expanse of the shop he'd been to visit that afternoon. Yes, there was a Broom Fairy and he was crippled from his arse to his middriff thanks to upholding another stupidly futile tradition.

Draco's face lit up and he settled, waiting with anticipation to hear his father's impressive baritone reading voice upon the tufted softness of the carpeting; he imagined the downy cushioning on his bum was the pillow soft skin of his father's lips and physcially shuddered in recollection of the glorious frissons his father imbued.

Lucius returned with a fairly thick text set oddly in black velvet and slumped down against the warm fabric of the lounger, wincing just slightly while breaking the spine.

"What are you going to read me, Father?" Draco whinnied on cue, making Lucius nearly jump out of his skin at the sheer volume of his youth's ardent request.

"Why, a poem about the Broom Fairy, Draco, to reinstall your belief in him."

"Honestly, Father, you can't mean to tell me that there's actually a poem dedicated to such an erroneous mogul of my youth?" Draco had been plotting that particular sentence from the moment Lucius had led him into the library, dropping hints that he would be reading something seasonal; he felt very proud of himself indeed.

Lucius merely smirked and began with the title:
"'A Visit from the Broom Fairy' by Clementus Clarakus Malfoy -"

"What the-" Draco intercepted but was shut up immediately with an icy stare.

"Alright, alright... so maybe he isn't fake..." Draco murmured while Lucius gazed back down at the book.

"'Twas the night before sixth year, when all through the manor-"

"What about tradition?!" Draco piped up and nearly got smacked unconscious as Lucius flung the fabric clad book at him.

"Shut up, you insufferable child and listen! Perhaps there's something special about sixth year, hmmm? Perhaps that's why your bloody great uncle wrote this piece of-" Lucius stopped himself and mentally counted to ten before sitting back down in the the chair without even realizing he'd leapt from it with such haste, merely to defend a piece of drivel.

Draco rubbed the back of his scalp lovingly and settled crosslegged once more beneath his father.

"Again; 'Twas the night before sixth year, when all through the manor

Not a creature was stirring, not even my Dansor' - Dansor was a house elf employed when I was around five, Draco, that's how old this is -

'The old models were hung by the broomshed with care,

In hopes that the Broom Fairy soon would be there.

The sixth year's were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of winning games flew through their heads;

And' - Draco, would you like me to use our names so it actually makes some semblence of sense?"

Draco, who was now listening raptly whilst simultaneously fantasizing about beating Potter, plucked up and murmured, "Yes please, Father."

Lucius smiled his bedroom smile complete with draped eyelids and continued:

"' And Draco in his kerchief, and I in my -' well nothing really, eh, boy?" *chortle chortle*

Draco rolled his eyes as he pretended not to smirk at the thought.

"' and I in my status' - old Clemetus was having marital difficulties, you see; it was all he could do some days to write this utter - well, let's continue then...

'Had just settled our bums for a shortened hiatus -

When out on the paths there arose such a clattter

I fell from that cold bed and saw what was the matter.

Away! Off to apparate, I flew like a flash,

Tore open my wand-case, and threw out a blast.

The moon on the phallus of the new-falled sheen

Gave a lustre of enchantment that I nearly keened;' - hmmm, theatrical bugger...

'When what to my wandering eye should catch sleuthing,

But a tiny Broom fairy with a sack slightly moving!

What a strange, larger fairy, upon second glance,

I knew in a moment, it must be my pants!' - Draco, don't look at me like that, I didn't compose this work of debauched filth that barely makes any plausible sense - just listen, damn you!

'More rapid than ferrets' - I'm sorry, my boy - 'his broomsticks, they flew

And he levitated and got them each to fly in a loop.

'Now, Nimbus! now, Firebolt! now, Comet and Thestral!

On, Barbarossa! on, Kamakazee! on, Luftwaft and Incestral!'"

Lucius's voice echoed across the library and resonated through his ears as he stared at his son, Draco looking back up quizzically.

"How would he-" Draco began but received a thorough jab to his groin; reeling on the floor in agony, he nodded for his father to continue.

"' To the top of the Lube-shoop! To those vast muggle towers!

Now fly away, fly away, steal all their power!'"

And suddenly I realised, like Salazar himself,

That bastard Broom Fairy was one evil elf.

Stacked big with defined pectorals he flew,

I could barely contain my joy, but I knew;

I knew he would dump just one broom for my son,

And leave me standing there just... over-run-' Oh for Merlin's sake, I'm sorry Draco, I thought it would be better than this; blame me for investing some trust into the extensive Malfoy line of authors," Lucius scoffed and went to close the book before Draco's arm stopped him; he flinched.

"Don't hit me again!"

Lucius tilted his head and nodded until Draco sighed in relief and leaned back upon his haunches.

"I want to know what happens now that it's got all autobiographical," Draco smirked and wobbled back and forth towards his father.
Lucius sighed and picked up the forsaken (and justly so) tome again.

"When at last I saw him exit our lot,

My power had obviously made him quite hot,

As he swung down the gutter and packed 'round in the snow,

His physique was impressive, thus I muttered, "Ho, ho!"

Before he could leave I caught up to his broomsack-

Stuck his ass to my ass with the fresh garnished tree sap.

How could I do this, marr my son's newest year?

When he would at last know that the Broom Fairy's here -

He wasn't an elf, and he wasn't that burly,

If nothing else, he is a bit surly.

He's always been there for him, through brooms and the like,

We have money and power, and sixth year is right,

To tell my son now, while my mind's still intact,

"I am the Broom Fairy, the broomsack is my sack!'"

And with that Lucius placed the velvet clad, annoyingly smug looking book down on the chair's arm and stared at his grief stricken son. Mouth hanging and eyes wide in disbelief, Draco stared at his father with a mixture of hate and curiosity.

"You read me that crap just to tell me that you're the Broom Fairy!" Draco sceamed as soon as he was able to move, lunging at the seated Lucius and wrapping his still small hands around his father's neck.

"Draco, you deserve to know now... you aren't a child anymore," Lucius stated mournfully and allowed his son to try and throttle him unsuccessfully. Despondent, but not without his own balls, Draco raised his leg high and landed a perfect crushing blow to Lucius's "broomhandle" and watched the man's eyes bulge out of his head.

Suddenly, Draco stopped snickering and looked at his recovering father with a calm regard.
"So, you bought me all those new models since I was little?" Lucius could only nod as he continued to rub his package. Draco smirked and cautiously approached his senior, running his fingers up the housecoat Lucius was wearing.

Grinning a bit sheepishly, Draco carefully mounted Lucius' lap and kissed his father's mouth languidly until he could feel the mighty grip return to all of his father's extremeties and broke apart to breathe,

"So, could I sneak a peek down in the broomsack tonight, Father?"


A/N: I hope it was enjoyable, please let me know. It's Updated for this Christmas!