The Thin Line Between Love and Hate.

“Lumos,” I whispered. The small corridor lit up due to the light emitting from my wand.

I look at her. She’s crying. I wish she won’t. Her head bowed down. She seems pained. Her cheek coated with traces of previous tears. I still have a firm grip on one of her waists, my other holding the wand. She has a firm grip on my shoulders. She looks up at me.

Her face so pale. She’s scared, I can tell. Her face half – lit. So beautiful. Her hair, the shade of auburn. So light - so dark. She’s perfect. She’s in my arms. She’s here. Finally. I’ve waited for so long. For this. For her… She’She’s worried. I can see it in her amber eyes. Her eyes coated with tears. Her eyes set on my own. I’m lost. Lost because of this. Lost because of her. I’m just…lost.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose her. I’ll never let go. She’s mine. Forever. She told me yesterday. But what if she lied? No, she didn’t. She couldn’t. But what if she did? What if she could?
… But she won’t.

I feel broken. I feel stupid. I feel lost. Again. It’s because of her. I know it is. Without her…Nothing. No me. I’m not myself without her. I don’t know what to think… Or do. So I cry. I let the tears flow. Is she surprised? But why? Can’t I cry?

I told her there was a thin line between love and hate. I understand that. But does she? My heart aches. I hate this. I hate her. But I love her too. I can’t breathe without knowing that she’s ok... I hate loving her…

“Shhh,” I said. Comforting him. He’s crying. But why? I wish he wouldn’t. He’s never cried before. What do I do? My hands left his shoulders. I don’t want to push him away anymore. I want to hold him close.

I cupped his face between my hands. He leans into my touch. He closed his eyes. Another tear escaped those eyes. His eyes. Once so cold and grey… now shattered and blue. He’s different. He’s him. Why did he change?

Those words that escaped his lips. So hurtful, yet true. Those lips. His lips. So thin and lined. So soft and chaste. My thumb lightly ran over his lips. He shifted slightly. Uncomfortably. I ignore his act. He’s never like this. But he’s changed. Now and forever.

My fingers ran through his hair. The light reflecting it off. A halo around him. He looks so innocent. He looks that way but he’s not. He’s like an angel. In disguise. To help those who needed him. Like me. I need him. He’s my angel. But he acts so differently. Maybe he’s a fallen angel? He fell for me. He’s so perfect.

He’s still crying. Why? I don’t understand. Even now. I wiped the tears away from his already splashed cheek. He opens his eyes. His eyes set on my own. I’m lost. Lost because of this. Lost because of him. I’m just…lost.

Without him. I’m nothing. He’s apart of me. If I lose him. I’m loosing myself. I don’t want to lose him. I know I won’t. He won’t leave me. He told me yesterday. But what if he lied? No, he didn’t. He couldn’t. But what if he did? What if he could?
… But he won’t.

I hate him. I love him. He told me there was a thin line between love and hate. Now I know and understand. I hate loving him... it’s that simple…