When Living is No Longer Enough

Disclaimers: Obviously, credit for any recognizable characters in the HP realm belongs to J.K. Rowling. No money is being made from the writing of this story.

Author\'s Note: I completed and posted this fic elsewhere some time back. However, I recently reviewed it and gasped at the number of grammatical errors that leaped off the computer monitor and accosted my eyes. So I decided to tidy it up a bit. (Though I am certain that some errors still exist).

Summary: The Dark Lord has discovered Professor Snape\'s true loyalties and, as a result, the Potions Master is now considered to be one of the three most wanted on Voldemort\'s hit list (along with Harry and Dumbre).re). When Snape sees his usefulness in life at an end, will Hermione be able to step in and convince him that living is always enough?


When Living Is No Longer Enough...
By Sci-Fi Nut (aka JStockert)

Chapter One

\"I found \'im, Headmaster,\" Hagrid shouted worriedly, bursting through the large double doors to the Castle. \"He was lyin\' just on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest but he don\'t look too good there Professor Dumbledore, sir.\"

\"Take him to the Infirmary, Hagrid,\" the Wizard ordered, sadly gazing upon the battered and bloodied form of his Potions Master and long time friend. \"Tell Poppy that I\'ll be there shortly.\"

\"How much more of this can he take, Albus?\" Minerva McGonagall asked quietly, as she watched Hagrid\'s retreating form.

\"I don\'t know, Minerva\" the Headmaster answered softly, the twinkle that one could always count on finding in the old man\'s eyes now replaced by concern and sorrow. \"I told him not to answer Voldemort\'s summons tonight but, as usual, he insisted. I fear Voldemort may have discovered where Severus\' true loyalties lie.\"

\"But if that\'s the case, Albus, then why didn\'t they kill him? Why leave him alive outside of Hogwarts?\" the Deputy Headmistress asked in confusion.

\"To serve as a warning, Minerva,\" Albus Dumbledore answered, lifting aged fingers to remove his glasses and tiredly rub the bridge of his nose.

\"A warning?\" she questioned. \"But to whom?\"

\"To me. I doubt very much that Voldemort planned for Severus to survive for any great length of time after he was returned to us. It is a bad sign indeed as it means Voldemort and his Death Eaters are growing bolder and wish for us to know that they do not consider Hogwarts to be as much of a threat as they once did. We will need to strengthen the wards around the castle in the morning and we should consider canceling the upcoming student trip to Hogsmeade,\" he responded, running through a mental checklist of the security measures that would have to be implemented on account of the night\'s events. Looking at the concerned face of his Deputy, he smiled and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. \"Do not worry, Minerva, everything will be alright. It is always better to be prepared for the worst on the slight chance that it happens, then to be caught with one\'s robes blowing in the wind, so to speak. I will be in the infirmary should you need me. In the meantime, please ask Professor Granger if she wouldn\'t mind taking over Severus\' classes tomorrow.\"

\"Yes, Albus,\" the Transfiguration Professor answered, as they both departed the entryway to their separate destinations.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The scene that greeted Albus Dumbledore as he entered the Infirmary was becoming a painfully familiar one. Madam Pomfrey was busily fussing over the unconscious Potions Master and murmuring various healing charms as she shook her head in disgust at the inhumanity of the Death Eaters\' actions.

\"How is he, Poppy?\" the Headmaster asked quietly, walking to the hospital bed to observe the unmoving form of Severus Snape.

\"He\'s lucky to be alive,\" the Medi-Witcswerswered sharply and harrumphed as she discovered yet another bundle of bruises and lacerations just below the left side of his ribcage. \"From what I\'ve been able to discern so fa\'d \'d say he was trampled by a herd of hippogriffs. He has several broken ribs, a broken wrist, a punctured lung, numerous cuts and abrasions and minute swelling to the cranial cavity. He is also experiencing small seizures which I would guess to be the after-effects of the Cruciatus. I\'ll know more in a little while and I\'ll need to observe him for a few days to make certain there isn\'t anything more serious than what I\'ve already found. But I\'ll tell you, Albus, that it\'s a good thing Hagrid found him when he did or else we may very well have lost him this time. I don\'t think his body can take much more of this abuse.\"

\"I know, Poppy\" Dumbledore answered wearily, as he turned to look out the large window by the hospital bed. \'Everything seems so tranquil and peaceful,\' he thought to himself, staring out over the castle grounds now bathed in the warm glow of the moonlit sky. \'And yet, the pure simplicity and beauty would lull one into thinking that the dangers of the dark are no more...\'

The wizened Wizard was shaken out of his reverie when he heard the Medi-Witch mutter \'enervate\' to bring her patient back to consciousness. As Snape\'s eyelids fluttered open, she once again began passing her wand over the length of his body. It was with a critical eye that she examined the magical readings to ensure there weren\'t additional injuries or complications aside from those already identified.

The first thing Sus nus noticed as his eyes began to focus on his surroundings was the dull light emitted from the flickering candles on the bedside table. The second thing was the concerned face of the Headmaster. The third and final observation that snapped him back to a state of full alertness was the small Medi-Witch hovering over him. \"Stop that foolish wand waving, woman!\" Severus exclaimed impatiently, struggling to maneuver into a sitting position.

\"Well,\" Madam Pomfrey ed, ed, \"the least you could do is say \'thank you\' and if that\'s too hard for you to manage in your weakened state then silence would do just as well.\"

\"Poppy,\" Albus interrupted, raising his hand calmly in a placating gesture. \"I\'m sure Severus is still a little disoriented by the evening\'s events. Give him a few moments and I\'m certain that he\'ll be back to his usually charming self,\" the Headmaster said. A sardonic \"Hmmf\" could be heard from both medic and patient alike.

\"He knows Albus,\" Snape announced with an air of resignation and defeat. \"Voldemort knows that I\'ve been working as a spy for the Order.\"

\"I assumed as much, given the extent of your injuries and the fact they left you just outside of Hogwart\'s perimeter,\" the Headmaster replied sadly, shaking his head sorrowfully in acknowledgement of the position in which he was forced to place his friend.

\"It would seem that my usefulness, for lack of a better word, to both you and the Order is now at an end,\" the Potions Master murmured, staring unblinkingly at some unidentified point behind the Headmaster\'s shoulder.

\"Nonsense, my friend\" Dumbledore soothed. \"There are still many ways in which you can be of service to the Light.\"

\"Perhaps you didn\'t hear what I just told you, old man,\" Severus jeered in the silkiest of voices. \"Voldemort knows that I betrayed him. I have no doubt that he intended my demise this evening. When he discovers that I didn\'t have the good grace to lie down and die like the obedient lapdog that I supposedly was, he will most definitely take action to remedy the fact. I am as good as dead the very moment I step outside of the castle grounds.\"

\"Which is why,\" the Headmaster interrupted Snape\'s tirade, giving the young man a look that clearly stated he would listen to no further arguments, \"you won\'t be leaving the grounds any time in the near future.\"

\"I am not an animal to be kept in a cage, Albus!\" Severus exclaimed angrily. \"I cannot stay tucked away, hiding in my dungeons for the next several years, waiting for that Potter brat and his friends to save the free world from Voldemort. It is unreasonable, to say the least. Not to mention impractical.\"

\"Perhaps, but at the moment it is our only option. You cannot leave the grounds. I will not allow it. It is bad enough that you are not entirely safe here at Hogwarts for I fear that several of the children have been compromised either through their loyalties to their parents who serve Voldemort or through their taking of the dark mark itself.\"

\"Don\'t remind me of those children whom I have failed, Albus,\" Snape stated softly, closing his eyes and remembering the initiation ceremony that had taken place only a few months before. Several of his seventh year Slytherins had been initiated into Voldemort\'s ranks as well as a few of the Ravenclaw students. Unsurprisingly, some of Hogwart\'s recent alumni had also been in attendance.

\"You take far too much credit for that which is not of your own doing, Severus,\" the Wizard responded, placing a wrinkled hand on his shoulder. The caring gesture caused the Potions Master to turn his head and look into the tired blue eyes of his longtime friend. Dumbledore stared back with a look of utter sincerity. \"You cannot shoulder the blame for their choices and neither can anyone else. All we can do is offer our guidance and support, but in the end it is up to each student to decide what path their life must take.\"

\"Even if that path is to lead them directly to Hell?\" the Potions Master replied bitterly.

\"Even then, my friend,\" the Headmaster returned solemnly. \"I know that Poppy would like to keep you here in the Infirmary for the next couple of days,\" Dumbledore said, changing the tone and direction of their conversation. Seeing Snape\'s expression and predicting the arguments the young man was sure to make, he continued speaking. \"However, knowing your preference for solitude, I think that it might be alright to let you recuperate in the comforts of your own chambers with the provision that you use that time to rest.\"

\"That will not be possible, Albus, lest you forget that I have classes to teach in the morning. Merlin forbid I miss another lively and stimulating gathering of double potions class with Gryffindor and Slytherin,\" he drawled in his most sarcastic tone of voice.

\"Professor Granger will be availing herself of the joys of your double potions class, Severus, and she will fill in for you over the next couple of days as well,\" the Headmaster announced, knowing that nothing would get Snape on the road to recovery faster than the thought of Hermione stepping into his territory.

\"The Professor has her own classes to attend to. Her assistance will not be necessary,\" the Slytherin hissed with disdain. As if to prove his point, the Potions Master slowly moved his legs over the side of the bed, stood up hesitantly, and awkwardly gathered his wand and cloak.

\"Nevertheless, Severus, her assistance will be required as will be your recuperation. Otherwise, I will allow Poppy to order you to stay here under observation until she is certain that you are back to good health,\" the Headmaster answered. His tone indicated, in no uncertain terms, that there would be no further discussion on the matter.

\"Just think of it Severus,\" the Medi-Witch joined in the conversation with a mischievous glint in her eyes. \"You and I will have days to spend together with nothing to do but catch up on old times.\"

The Headmaster nearly laughed aloud seeing Snape\'s facial expression of sheer horror, brought on by the thought of being confined to the infirmary for an indeterminable amount of time with nothing to do but reminisce on days gone by.

\"Very well,\" the Potions Master agreed in the most scathing tone he could muster given his current physical condition. \"But if that Know-it-All messes with my stores or lesson plans, she will rue the day she ever received her Hogwart\'s letter.\"

\"I wouldn\'t worry too much about that, Severus. Although Hermione is our resident charms expert, don\'t forgett sht she graduated with specializations in both Charms and Potions, as well as a certification in Arithmancy. Why, if she weren\'t a Gryffindor, I think you might even respect her knowledge in the Potions field,\" he said, unable to resist teasing his friend just a little over the ongoing rivalry between the Slytherin and Gryffindor Houses.

\"Poppy will assist you in settling into your own rooms for the evening and we will both be checking on your progress during the next few days. Please don\'t hesitate to ask if should you need anything,\" Dumbledore concluded. Bidding his friend and the Medi-Witch a good evening, he exited the room to return to his own quarters.

Immediately after the Headmaster left the Infirmary, Severus walked to the fireplace and grabbed a handful of floo powder from a small brass container nestled on the mantle. Tossing a handful of the fine powdery substance into the fireplace, he stepped in and announced, \"Snape\'s chambers\". Seconds later, in a burst of green flames, he disappeared from the medical ward.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


TBC