Confessions of a Levelheaded Witch

Disclaimer: I don\'t own Harry Potter or anything else you recognize and I’m not making any money on this. I am simply writing this for my own jollies and hoping everyone else will enjoy it too.

Confessions of a Levelheaded Witch


Chapter 1

Hermione Granger didn\'t break the rules. Hermione would never be caught doing something improper of a young lady. Hermione was a good levelheaded witch. I was the smart one, the sensible one, and the dependable one. I was the appropriately named Gryffindor bookworm or if you didn’t like me know-it-all.

Yep, that was me… Notice I said was? I still can\'t believe what I did, that this actually happened! I keep going over it in my mind because it feels like some crazy dream come true. And when I say crazy, I mean C-R-A-Z-Y!

I guess if I had to pin point when it all began I’d say about 12 hours ago, sometime after 3pm this afternoon or technically yesterday afternoon since it’s now in the wee hours of the morning. It was a Friday and the last class of the day for me. All that stood in my way between a nice quite weekend curled up in a chair, seated at my favorite corner table of the library with a nice thick Advanced Arithmancy book was Professor Snape’s Advanced Potions for NEWTs class. Yep, I had it made; or so I thought…

I knew that Professor Snape was going to be in a Johnny Rotten mood because his house’s team lost the last Quidditch match of the year, thereby making it near impossible for Slytherin to win the house cup this year. I can always tell when he’s really going to be pissed off or if he’s just going to be his usual grumpy self. I actually know quite a lot about our famed, but dreaded potions professor.

I know he was a Death Eater and committed many unspeakable acts when he was younger, but would give his own life if it would mean that his past sins would never have occurred. I know that he was a spy for the Order of the Phoenix even though all his lifelong friends became his enemies and those he labeled his enemies became allies when he joined Dumbledore. I know that he hates being the center of attention, but craves respect, recognition, and approval. I know that he likes simplicity, but hates simple-minded people. I know he likes his tea black and doesn\'t eat much for breakfast other then toast with just a touch of jam and two cups of tea. I know that he wears all black all the time, but that his clothing is not all the same regardless of what most of the student body and probably part of the faculty think. I know he’s a perfectionist, but can\'t see the perfection in himself that I see. I know he’s brilliant, but thinks no one will ever see past his looks. I’ve been at Hogwarts for six and a half years now. And six and a half years is a long time to study the many fascinating subjects pertaining to magic and one surly potions master!

Why on Earth would I be studying Snape you ask? The answer to that question is a long guarded secret that only I and my friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley know. The truth is,I, Hermione Jane Granger, have for the past two years been completely enamored of Hogwarts’ very own great black bat, Professor Severus Snape. I know what you\'re thinking! Ew Snape! That Greasy Git?! Just shut up okay! I get that enough from Harry and Ron! You think I want to have a crush on Snape? Well I don\'t! At first like all Gryffindors, I hated the man. He’s a right bastard most of the time! He treats all his students like he’s amazed we can tie our shoes! He can be cruel and he’s completely unfair to everyone except his blessed Slytherins. He has more than once made it clear that he isesises my friend Harry, so naturally he hates Ron and me by association. He has said some very hateful, cutting things to me and not in private either! While I admit to you I do find him incredibly sexy in a freaky kind of way, he’s not exactly Gilderoy Lockhart! Still as I sit here and sigh, for some insane reason my heart just wouldn\'t let me hate him in peace.

The little things I began to learn about him over the years showed me there was much more to this dark and some might say sinister person. I saw that there were reasons for his indifference, sour attitudes, and sometimes even his cruelty. I in no way excuse his behavior, but understanding sure does make it easier to forgive. Plus I like the tall, dark, brilliant, and myiousious type, which is Snape in spades!

Anyway, where was I…Oh yes, I was in my Advanced Potions class Friday afternoon. Professor Snape was in the middle of a lecture and demonstration. We were studying the Thermae Curatio (thermal healing) potion, which is used to treat patients with frostbite that are in danger of losing their limbs. Although a most fascinating subject, I had the worst time paying attention to what was going on in front of me. Every time Professor Snape would speak, his low silky voice flowed to my ears like soft waves in a calm ocean. I would begin listening but the velvety feel of the tones coming forth from his mouth lolled me into a type of dreamlike trance. I could see his thin sensual lips moving and hear the luxurious sound of his voice but I couldn\'t comprehend a word he was saying.

Unfortunately for me, Snape could tell I wasn\'t coherent to my surroundings and stopped twice during his lecture to deduct 20 points from Gryffindor and scold me for daydreaming in class. I felt so embarrassed! I prayed that the whole class didn\'t realize I was fantasizing about sliding my tongue between the lips that had sneered at me in such an appetizing way. It had only been the first 10 minutes of class. The moment that sealed my fate came a mere 15 minutes later when he was demonstrating the potion. As hard as I fought it, I couldn’t stop myself from falling back into another hypnotic fantasy. This time I was watching his impossibly long and elegant fingers handling each ingredient with the utmost care. My eyes glued to each motion as my mind began to imagine all the pleasure those long slender fingers could invoke if they were… Oh God! I was thinking as my nether regions started getting rather warm and a bit slick with desire. My hormones were getting the best of me, but I couldn\'t help it. I was so captivated by his graceful yet masculine hands, I didn\'t notice that he called on me not once but apparently several times to identify the dried bombardier beetles he was holding in those beautiful hands.

That wasn\'t the bad part though. My mind kept going over the many joys of Snape’s hands. He was caressing my body, running them up my arms to my neck, sliding around and up as I sucked one of the long digits into my mouth. That’s when I gave him what he thought was my answer! It was like a nightmare come true…and I quote, “Mmm, fingers”! I practically moaned it too! The moment it slipped from my big mouth, I came crashing back to reality and immediately felt like crawling in a hole to die! With the exception of a sniggering Ronald Weasley and Harry James Potter, the faces of everyone in class looked confused, trying to figure out what “Mmm fingers” looked like dried bombardier beetles because the Gryffindor Know-It-All never gets a question wrong and the irritated look on Snape’s face was almost too much. I couldn\'t believe I had actually said that aloud!

“NO!” He thundered, “20 more points from Gryffindor and that’s detention, Miss Granger, for daydreaming and wasting my precious time during lessons. Be in my office at 8pm and don\'t be late! Now for the last time, pay attention!” I was mortified and believe it or not completely turned on too. All I could do was nod. I already knew I was done for...