Chocolate Confessions

A/N: I do not own them. I just play with JKR’s toys and their clothes keep falling off.

The Gaelic in this story is from free online translations and if I have butchered that beautiful language beyond all recognition, I am truly, deeply sorry. The translations to the phrases used in the story are at the end of the story. If you know where the accent marks go, so do I. They just don\'t translate here very well.

Rating: NC-17


Chocolate Confessions


Hermione is standing on the grounds of Hogwarts. She turns to go back towards the castle but there are no lights to guide her. She takes a few tentative steps in one direction before stopping. It unnerves her to not be able to see the castle. She is even more uncomforted by the lack of a warm glow from Hagrid’s hut. Her breathing becomes labored in the unnatural darkness. Never before had something as intangible as the void in the night made her feel as if it were closing in on her. Out of this void steps a silvery white dog with piercing blue eyes. She is rooted to the spot where she stands. Never breaking eye contact it stalks towards her, excruciatingly slowly. It is as if it is taking in the sight of her. It stands on its hind legs and puts its front paws on her shoulders. Hermione is barely breathing as its cold nose nudges the hollow space in her neck above her chest. She has a thought that it couinksinks its teeth in her throat and kill her now. She knows that it won’t. Its tongue licks a long ribbon of wetness across her neck.

She wakes with a violent start. Breathing hard she rests one hand on her chest while gasping for air. “Oh.” She thinks. “Odd dream.” Even now as her breathing returns to normal, she doesn’t want to be awake.

Hermione flops back on the bed, frustrated. “Bugger.” She mutters. She shoots Ginny a dirty look. Ginny’s sleeping form is totally ambivalent to Hermione’s insomnia.

With a frustrated grunt, she throws the sheet off and pads across the room grumbling. “I’m hot.” She mumbles to herself. Ginny rolls over in her sleep and snuggles further down under her sheet. In an admittedly childish move, Hermione sticks her tongue out at Ginny as she closes the door.

“What is wrong with me?” Hermione chides herself as she descends the stairs of 12 Grimmald Place. Even the colder wood floor under her bare feet does nothing to cool her tonight. “I’ve got to snap out of this.” She tells herself as she hears a snort of laughter from the kitchen down the hall.

“Its not bloody funny Lupin.” Hermione grumbles, the sound barely audible.

“I heard that, love.” Remus calls down to her.

Hands on her hips, she stomps into the kitchen where Lupin is sitting at the table shaking from barely controlled laughter.

“I happen to know that the only ones in this house that could have heard me from that fway way is Crookshanks, the owls. . .”

“And a man one day away from his werewolf form.” Remus adds helpfully.

“I’m so sorry, Professor.” Hermione says guiltily. “I haven’t looked at a Lunar Chart in days. I forgot.”

Hermione looks at her hands folded on the table in front of her. She is playing with the thin circle of gold on her left hand.

“Did you run off and get married to Mr. Potter when I wasn’t looking, Hermione?” Remus teases her lightly, trying to change the subject.

She looks up at him surprised. “Un, no.” She says. “It was my grandmothers. She died last month. The chain I had it on broke.” She saadlyadly.

“I’m sorry.” Remus says patting her hands comfortingly.

“Its okay.” She says sniffing. “Why would you think that I ran off and married Harry?”

“Easy guess. Those are his knickers aren’t they?”

Hermione looks down at the sky blue boxers with gold snitches on them and blushes. “Oh, yeah, they’re Harry’s boxers. My pajamas got ruined with ink that Ginny was writing with at the table tonight. Harry was nice enough to let me sleep in this.” sayssays, indicating her shorts and white t-shirt that was probably Duddly’s at one point. She eyes him playfully, “How do you know what Harry’s under shorts look like?”

Lupin rolls his eyes. “You’ve been reading too much wizard fiction again. Next thing that I know you are going to think that Sirius and I were lovers.” He teases with a laughter that doesn’t reach his eyes. It still hurt greatly to know that Sirius was not upstairs sleeping. He shakes his head, “They were a Christmas gift from me last year.”

“Ah, so I guess in a weird way, I am wearing your knickers, Professor.” She jokes.

“Remus.” he responds.

“What?”

“Call me Remus. I am not your Professor anymore. Besides, I can’t have you talking about being in my knickers and call me Professor at the same time.” Remus’ eyes widen at the last comment. ‘Damn that bloody wolf.’

*I want her.*

She laughs. “Further proof that the full moon is tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry Hermione.” He says. “Between the wolf and the liquor, I’m a bit restless tonight.”

“Its okay, Prof.. Remus.” She says. “What are you drinking?”

“Chocolate liquor. Sirius hooked me on it back when I was in Hogwarts.” Remus says sheepishly. “Its really good in chocolate milk. It was something that Lily introduced us to in our 7th year.”

“Let me try?” She asks innocently.

“Are you mad? Molly will have my head in the morning, werewolf or no.”

“Come on, Remus. Just a little taste.” Hermione pleads, batting her eyes.

“Ah, bloody hell, girl. If you tell anyone. . .”

“I pro Rem Remus. I won’t tell a soul.” Lupin smiles at her, pulls the wand from his back pocket to bring a glass from the cupboard.

He fills the glass with chocolate milk and liquor. He pushes it across the table to her. She takes a long swig from the glass.

“Easy child. I don’t want to have to hold your head over the loo all night. I would orceorced to tell Molly it was morning sickness.” He says cheekily “Then, Harry would get it for sure.”

Hermione sputtered and blushes as Lupin laughs heartily. Hermione giggled in spite of herself.

“Or perhaps Mr. Weasley could be blamed.” Lupin adds with a devilish glint in his eyes reveling in Hermione’s shocked expression. It had been years since he had teased a member of the fairer sex like this. It was a joke in the Marauders how “restless” he had become right before he changed. No girl in Gryffindor was safe. Most, on retrospect, hadn’t minded in the least.

“Now, I know why you used to go off with Sirius by tonight.” Hermione said through the laughter that she could no longer hold back.

She scrunches up her nose in protest. “Sleeping with Ron or Harry? No, I don’t think so.” Lupin looks at her quixotically. “Its not that I don’t love them, its just they are so young.”

*She likes older men. . .I want my belly rubbed.*

‘Hush!’

Lupin smirks at her last comment. “Isn’t Ron six months older than you?”

“There is more to someone that their chronological age, you of all people should know that.”

“Why me?” Lupin asks fighting to focus on her fuzzy form.

“You can’t honestly tell me that Sirius acted like a 35 year old.” She replies

“No I guess not, but lets be honest, you don’t act like a 16 year old either.”

“True and there in lies my dating problems.” She sighs. “And boys wonder why I prefer books.”

“You will find someone perfect for you, someday.”

Hermione laughs mirthlessly, “That’s what they keep telling me.


Lupin got lost in the memories. “I do miss Sirius.” He says softly.

“I know.” She says “Tell me about him.”

“Oh no. James would kill me if I put that many ideas into the head of his son’s partner in crime.” He says eyes twinkling in the memories. He missed his friends greatly.

Hermione regarded las last statement with hazy alcohol concentration.

“Deal, wolf. A game.”

“Hermione, you are pissed.”

“Just trying to catch up. You were pissed before I even got down here.” She giggles.

“There is no way, I am going to play a game with you.” He says looking into her eyes.

“Come on” she pleads, hands folded in front of her, chin resting on them expectantly. “Play with me.”

*Yes, Remus. Play with her. She’s begging. Play with her.*

‘Shut up wolf.’ He scolds himself.

“What did you have in mind?” He asks suspiciously.

She thinks about it. “Truth or Dare.”

Instantly, his mind goes to the night he, Sirius, James, Peter and Lily spent all night drinking and playing this muggle game. Oh no. There is no way he is going to play that with a schoolgirl.

“Truth or Dare?” He hears himself ask.

“Truth.” She says triumphant.

Remus narrows his eyes. “Why did you come down here tonight?”

“I had a nmaremare. Well, not really. Just an odd dream. It’s so hot here in London, I just couldn’t get back to sleep. I get restless when I’m hot.”

“What was it about?”

“It was just weird. I had this dream about a dog. .”

“Padfoot?”

“No, not him. It was silvery white and sleeker than Sirius. Anyway, it almost felt like I knew him somehow. It had a long snout. It came out of the darkness on the school grounds. It put its paws on my shoulders and licked me. Then I woke up.”

Remus was silent for a long while lost in panicky thought. *Sound like anyone we know?* ‘She can’t be talking about me. She’s never seen me like that. I’m just paranoid.’

“Earth to Lupin. .”

“What? I’m sorry. What did you say?”

“Truth or Dare.”

“Truth.” He replies.

“Uh, ok. . .let me think.” She thinks over her options carefully, and then the idea strikes her. Remus laughs at the smug look on her face.

“Behave,” she scolds. “Name the last girl you kissed.”

Lupin does a perfect spit take. “Are you serious?”

“Nope, I’m Hermione.” She says drunkenly. “You are more pissed than I thought. Answer the question.”

“What is said here stays here. Right?”

“Absolutely.”

“Lily Potter.”

“Wha. . .ah!” Hermione fell off the chair.

“Ah Me, ar, are you ok?” Lupin asks, standing and peering over the table.

“What is going on in here?” Molly asks, hands on hips, with a scowl on her face.

“I’m sorry, Molly. Hermione is writing a Dark Arts paper on werewolves. I’m kinda her research.”

Hermione picks herself up off the floor with a quill and parchment that was conjured for her by Lupin’s wand under the table.

Hermione rights herself and looks at Mrs. Weasley as soberly as she can possibly muster. “I’m sorry that we woke you Mrs. Weasley. Professor Lupin was telling me what it was actually like to transform. It frightened me out of my seat. I wasn’t prepared for the sheer pain of it.”

Lupin tries not to gape openly at Hermione. If he had half the ability to fake that sober while that pissed, then gettingght ght by Filch in his 6th year would not have been as painful as he remembered. Molly, on the other hand, regarded Remus with a look usually reserved for Harry when he first arrives at Headquarters by the end of every summer.

“Remus, don’t keep the girl up too long. And please, try not to scare her so much.” She adds. “Good night, you two.” She walks up the hall towards the stairs.

“How in Merlin’s name did you do that?” He asks, not being able to keep the open admiration out of his voice.

“Easy.” She answers, “I lie well. Well, that and no one expects me of all people to be down here pissed as all hell with a professor at 3 am.” She flashes him her best smile. “Now, don’t for a moment believe that you are going to get out of this that easily. What do you mean that the last girl you kissed was Harry’s mother!?!”

Lupin smiles at her in spite of himself. “I must admit that it’s not as juicy as it sounds.” His eyes dim at the recollection. “It was the last time that I would ever see her alive. She was standing in my sitting room holding Harry. She had given me the invisibility cloak to keep me hidden and safe before I changed in the woods. She told me that I had to be very careful and that she would keep cooking for me. Sirius would bring me the food. She always made sure that I had far more food than I could eat to keep healthy after the changes. It was then that she started to cry. She was terrified, I think. Not for herself at all, and for James only slightly. She knew the prophecy. She was scared for Harry most of all. I hugged her as the tears came down. I kissed the top of her head and promised that everybody would be alright. I promised that I would look after Harry, Sirius and Peter no matter what. She laughed slightly at that. She said tthe the wolf was looking after her flock.” Lupin’s eyes changed. “I guess that I was wrong. Everything was not alright. She and James died because of Peter’s deception and Bella killed Sirius. I will forever honor my promise to try and keep Harry as safe as possible in a war.”

Hermione sits and silence for a long time taking in his words. “You are not a wolf.” She says quietly.

“Yesm. m. I just won’t let anyone see him. That
part of me is hidden. Oh Merlin!” he says knowledge dawning on him “No one alive has seen me as a wolf.” The realization came to him like a swift blow to the stomach. His closest friends in the world to him were all gone. He felt old.

“Not really. You are not a wolf. In fact, you are much more like a sheep. I’m far more dangerous than you are, I suspect.”

“No, Hermione. You have no idea what I am capable of as a werewolf. I am dangerous.”

“Show me.” Lupin looks at her as she sits there resolutely. “Show me the wolf because all I see is sheep.”

*Show her.*

‘Who is this?’ Hermione asks herself. ‘This must be the liquor.’

*Show her, taste her.*

Taking his silence for thought she continues, “I am writing a paper after all. Show me what its like.”

“You don’t want to see him.”

“Let me be the judge.”

*Yes, she can make decisions for herself. Let me play. *

The expression on Lupin’s face changes. Now, it is dark and predatory. Hermione knows that she has gone too far. There will be no turning back. He stands and stalks over to the chair she is sitting in. He lifts her out of the chair and crushes his mouth to hers. Her initial shock at his move melts and she leans into the kiss.

He sets her on the table to free his hands to roam across her body. He slides his hands up under her shirt to caress his way up her ribcage feeling it expand as she sucks in air. The smell. It is the smell on her that drives him over the edge. It is a combination of chocolate, her lust, old books, and a faint twinge of a scent that he has left on her.

That was itrabbrabbing the neck of her t-shirt in both hands he rips the shirt in half exposing her breasts bobbing prettily with each breath. She lets out a small yelp of pain and pleasure as he inadvertently catches her skin with his nails leaving four perfect crimson red scratches from the bottom of her throat across to her left breast.

“If you want to stop, this is yoast ast chance.” He pants.

*NO! NO! What are you saying???? I want her! *

She eyes him curiously. Want him to stop? She has wanted him from the moment she stepped into his train compartment. It was infatuation then, and she will even now only believe that this was lust. She feels the blood slowly seep from her wound. It only made her want him that much more. She grabs the wand from the table and performs a spell to close and silence the door.

“‘Mione, its summer! The Ministry will be here any moment.” He says.

“No. They won’t. I am 17 technically because of the time turner. Besides it was your wand in your house. They won’t come.”

*But you will, love. That was good enough of an answer for us. *

Remus pushes her back down on the smooth wood. Putting one knee on the table to test its weight, he swings the other knee over her hips.

Taking one long last look at her, he pants. “You are the most gorgeous creature that I have ever laid eyes on. You have no idea what you can do to a man, do you?” Hermione slowly shakes her head no. “That is what makes you so appealing. You have no pretences. You will be mine.”

“Yes, Remus. Just yours as long as you want me.” She breathes.

He dips his head to lap up the trickle of blood that is making its way down to her nipple. She moans deeply at the sensations running trough her body. She starts to move her hips to crash into his like waves, matching the lapping at her throat.

A rumbling growl deep in his chest gives her goose bumps. He tugs at the boxers she was wearing. She lifts slightly to allow him access to slide them off her frame.

*She’s not wearing knickers. She’s not wearing knickers! *

He dips his head once more to lap at her juices, which are flowing freely now. He teases the small nub he finds there. Small sounds escape her soul as Lupin pulls her further and further into foreign vibrations.

“Remus,” she gasps as she digs her nail into the muscles of his shoulder. The pain of the scratches only pushes him further over the edge. He crawls up the length of her body to watch the look on her face. He is surprised to find a mixture of love and unrestrained lust staring back at him.

He’d seen that look before. Whenever Lily would tease James in History of Magic. He was always envious that no one had ever looked at him like that. Now, here she was. She was giving herself to him. It was almost too much for him to bear. A single tear slides down his face to mirror hers. He grabs her hips and she wraps her long legs around his waist. He pushes in slowly as to not hurt her. She is so tight that he has to work hard to keep himself from cumming right then.

“It’s only going to hurt for a moment. I promise. I’ll be easy.” He murmurs in her ear. She nods her head slowly biting her bottom lip out of nerves. Slowly he feels her tense as he slides past her hymen and she moans slightly. “Shh. .love.” He sooths. “I won’t hurt you too much. I’m sorry, dear.” She brushes her fingers across his cheek to assure him that she was fine.

After she had adjusted to him, he began a slow rhythm and she began to meet him with every thrust. He road her, all the while murmuring soft words: “Bi smahach, tàim. Tà grà agam diut. A chuisle mo chroi, tàim I ngrà leat.”

He feels her slowly, surely encasing him in her heart. Somehow this girl, this very dangerous schoolgirl, was cracking his wall. This was the very same wall that took many years and excruciating pain to construct. She is making him fall in love with her.

‘I could get lost in this girl forever’ Much to his surprise, the idea neither repulsed nor terrified him.

Focusing instead in the feel of this angel gripping him with every thrust, he arched his back slightly as she peppers his chest witquorquor-coated kisses. He moans each time her hips rise to greet him, welcoming him again and again into a place he felt as if he belonged.

He watched her come as he steadily stroked her from the inside. She cried his name as he came, her muscles coaxing every last drop out of him. Slowly, he climbs off the table and stands. Lupin lifts Hermione off the table and cradles her body against his chest and she snuggles in deeper for warmth. “Ca bhfuil do sheomra leaba?” She mumbles.

He looks down at her shocked. “An dtuigeann tu?” She nods her head with a sleepy smile. “My grandmother was Irish.” He smiles down at her and kisses her nose. “Of course you speak Gaelic, you’re Hermione.”

She laughs lightly and reaches up to kiss him once more. He carries her into his bedroom and lays her on the bed. She whimpers as he lets go.

“Its ok, Hermione. I’m staying.” Remus reassures as he goes around the bed to crawl in beside her. Carefully, he scoops her up in his arms and sets her in his lap. Resting his chin on top of her head, he idly plays with strands of her hair.

“Remus.” She says softly.

“You don’t have to say anything, Hermione. “I amsorrsorry. I should never have touched you. It just felt so good. Can you forgive me?”

“Please don’t say that you regret me.” Tears gather at her eyes without her permission.

He gathers her face in his hands and made her look into his eyes. “Hermione Granger. I do not now, nor will I ever, regret you. I love you. I am so sorry. You are so young and have been taken by an old wolf.”

“Remus Lupin. You did not fuck me without my pssiossion.” Her uncharacteristic vulgerarity snapped him from his self-loathing. That was just what she was trying to do. “I wanto mao make love to you. I may not have planned it when I walked down those stairs tonight, but it was right. I also will not let you hide behind the full moon. I want you to tell me right now, that we made love because you wanted to.” She says sternly.

‘Good Merlin, she has the same look Minerva gets when you don’t to your assignments.’ He thinks.

“I may have been able to restrain myself better if it were not so close to the full moon, but yes. I wanted to make love to you.”

“Thank you.” She says quietly. “Remus, I don’t pretend to know where this is going. I just know that you are too hard on yourself. You have to let yourself be happy. If it makes you happy to be with me, then I could not be more delighted. You are a passionate man. Even if you are a little animalistic.” Her eyes twinkle at the last comment and he laughs a deep laugh. Something he hasn’t done since Sirius died.

They snuggle down into the sheet, her head restin hin his chest. His heartbeat lulls her into sleep.


The morning sunlight streams through the window bathing the room in hot radiance. He rolls over to try and catch a glimpse of mocha curls on his pillow. Instead he sees the note left on his mirror in crimson lipstick he knows is Tonks’. It reminds him of the scratches he left on her body. *My mark. * He allows his eyes to adjust to the harsh light. Slowly he takes in Hermione’s words written in her perfect script:

Remus,

Forever shall the wolf in me desire the sheep in you.

Yours,
Hermione


Translations:


Bi samhach, taim –Quiet, love

Tà grà agam duit -I love you

A chuisle mo chroi, tàim I ngrà leat -My darling, I am in love with you

Ca bhfuil do sheomra leaba? -Where is your bedroom?

An dtuig tu? tu? -Do you understand?