HP characters Stupid Sayings

Harry Potter (mix and match) Sayings Of The Day/ Stupid Sayings

(A/N- This has either stupid, lewd or creepy sayings. No reviews saying
“EWWW!” because we know...we did write this. In parenthesis are
nicknames, so if you think of ones we missed, let us know. It will be
appreciated and rewarded with a picture of naked...whomever you chose.
Also, if you find homosexuality disgusting, DON’T READ THIS!!! Same
goes for incest, and homosexual incest...not to mention possible twincest
and necrophilia, okay? Good...by the way, many people contributed to this.
MANY people, some of whom we don’t know!!! Okay? Again...good.
REVIEW!!! PLEASE!!! Ciao! -nevermesswithamalfoy2 and FallenAngel)

Harry Potter: (Potty)
I am the Slytherin Sex God!!! And I got the magic stick! (I read that
somewhere and had to put it in)

Ginny Weasley: (Gin, Gin and Tonic)
IT WAS KREACHER!!!!!!!! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!! QUIT LOOKING
AT ME!!!! *person turns away, throws water balloon at the person*
*snickers* It was kreacher!!!!

Fred and George Weasley: (Gred and Forge, the Weasley twins)
OMG!!! WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE!!! WE’LL LOSE OUR PREFECTS
BADGES!!! OH NO!!!!!

Percy Weasley: (Bennidict Arnold, Percy the Perfect Prefect, the world’s
biggest prat)
Hey guys!!! a ska skip class? Or have a couple Fainting Fancies? Or
Canary Cremes?

Hermione Granger: (mudblood, ‘Mione, Herm)
Hey Harry...HARRY!!! PSST!! Wanna sneak into Hogsmeade later? Well?
How ‘bout a couple Canary Cremes?

Ron Weasley: (Weasel, ickle Ronniekins)
C’mon guys!!! We’re going to be late for Potions! MY highest grade
class!!!! C’mon, you guys!!! WE CAN NOT BE LATE!!!!

Dean Thomas: (we’re working on it)
C’mon Seamus... you know you want to... it’s just a little kiss...*tries to kiss
Seamus*

Seamus Finnagan:(again...we’re working on it)
Well...maybe...hmmm...c’mon Dean, lemme ‘lone.

Draco Malfoy: (Ferret, Slytherin Sex God, Adonis)
*audience and author cat whistle* For the last time Colin! STOP WITH
THE CAMERA!!! I didn’t kill Voldemort!!!! But I must confess my love
for Harry Potter!! I LOVE HIM AND I ALWAYS WILL!!! *runs and kisses
Harry*

Colin Creevey: (camera boy, one of the Creevey brothers)
Dammit Ginny!!! Get your clothes on and leave this room!!! I don’t want
you naked in my room!!! That’s disgusting Virginia!!! What would you
want to be naked for? What would we do?

Albus Dumbledore: (barmy old codger, professer
MUST KILL HARRY POTTER!!! KILL HIM!!! KILL HIM!!!!!! *Avada
Kedevra’s Harry*

Lord Voldemort: (Tom Riddle, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The Dark
Lord, You-Know-Who, My Lord, Master)
NOOOOOOOO!!! MUST PROTECT HARRY POTTER!!!! NOOOO-
OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Severus Snape: (greasy git, professor, Snivelous, Snively)
TEN TRILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINDOR AND MINUS 20 BILLION
FROM SLYTHERIN!!!!!

Minerva McGonagall: (professor)
I love you guys! I love you more than anything in the world...except this tree
here...my one true soulmate! *kisses tree*

Denis Creevey: (one of the Creevey brothers)
C’mon Devin...it’s nothing bad...*leans into him* *kisses Devin on lips
lightly, pouts at no response*

Devin Malfoy: (Devey)
No...No...Denis...Leave me alone *tries to sink farther into chair* NOOOO
DENIS!!!!

Nymphadora Tonks: (Tonks, Nymph)
C’mon my little Ginny-poo...you know you want to...*slides hand under
Ginny’s shirt* It’s nothing bed...I mean bad...even though you’re underage

Alaster Moody: (Mad-eye)
WHAAA!!! HAS ANYONE SEEN MY EYE?! OH NO!!!! SOMEONE
FIND MY EYE! IT’S ALL GOOEY TO LET YOU KNOW!! *students
scream, running and looking on floor to avoid touching the missing
disembodied eye*

Sirius Black: (Padfoot, snuffles)*author starts crying, “MY SIRI!!!”*
SEEE! I’M NOT DEAD!!! *takes a bow* HOW’D YOU LIKE MY
PERFORMANCE?!?!?! *audience crying*WAS I REALLY THAT BAD?
*Sirius starts crying, and runs and sits in Sevy’s lap, Severus pushes him off
and pulls Harry onto his lap. Harry snuggles against him contentedly.*

Balletrix Lestrange: (Death Eater, MURDERER!!!!!!!!!!!)
WELL?!? DID YOU LIKE HOW I KILLED SIRIUS?!?! HUH? HUH?!
*audience glares, boos her off stage and starts attacking her*

Pansy Parkison: (cow, pug, slut)
*Draco comes up and asks her if she wants a quickie. Pansy answers:* No,
I’m not that kind of girl...*covers self* *Draco: Since when? Pansy smacks
him*

Lucius Malfoy: (Muggle-hating Death Eater)
I love muggles!!! *Wearing a ‘Muggles RULE!!!’ t-shirt and baggy jeans*
Their styles are phat!!! Yeah man!!!

Narcissa Malfoy: (anerexic, drunken bitch)
*Draco: MOM!! You haven’t washed the dishes yet!!!* Narcissa: FUCK
THE DISHES AND HAVE SOME BEER!!! IT’S IMPORTED!!!!

Terry Boot:
Hey guys!!! What’s with that airline food ya know?! Huh?! Huh?! *cracks
up*

Gabrielle Malfoy: (Gabby)
AS IF!! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU MUDBLOODS! YOU TOO YOU
POOR IDIOTS!!!!!

Remus Lupin: (Remmy, werewolf, Moony, Rems)
I AM NOT A WEREWOLF!!! *Harry: What about the Shrieking Shack?*
ALL THAT IS, IS THE GIRLS SIRIUS SHAGS!!! I MEAN IT!!! LILY’S
A WEREWOLF!!!!!!!!!!

James Potter: (Prongs, Jamie, Jamsies)
FOR THE LAST TIME!!! I AM NOT SCREWING EVERY GIRL IN
HOGWARTS!!! I AM SCREWING DUMBLEDORE!!! *Lily looks
disgusted*

Lily Potter/Evans:(Lils, Evans)
HOW DARE THE FUCKING ASSHOLE DO THAT!!! WELL, IN THAT
CASE, JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, I’M SCREWING SNAPE!!! * James
shudders in disgust and Snape blushes*

Blaise Zambini: (Zabini, part of Draco’s posse/crew/ w/e)
*hyper and in Natasha voice* IWANTADOOR! CANIHAVEADOOR?!
IWANTTHATDOOR!! IWANTADOOR!!

Crabbe: (one of Draco’s crew, troll)
DUHHHH...A...F...G...C...L...M...P...D...BLAH...MU...

Goyle: (one of Draco’s crew, troll)
I would like to inform you all of the fact that I am, in fact, extremely
intelligent. To be honest, the only reason I act stupid is because it makes
Draco, my lover, feel better about himself. The poor thing has the
LOWEST self-esteem! *sighs heavily* Truthfully, I don’t know why I’m
with him.

Bill: (really hot gay guy):
Hey baby sup? Wanna get our freak on together? ‘Cause you’re hot... like an
ice cube

Charlie: (Dragon guy)
DRAGON?! WHERE?! AHHHHH!!! RUN!!!! DRAGON!!!! NOOOO!!

Molly: (we’re thinking...)
HARRY POTTER WHY DON’T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH
YOUR SADISM!!! DIE POTTY!!!! *attacks Harry w/ knife*

Arthur: (give us a break! Do you think it’s easy finding nicknames?)
LUCIUS!!! I AM IN DEEP DEEP SAPPY LOVE WITH YOU AND I
WANT TO GLOMP YOU!!

Nott: (Death Eater, Theo’s dad)
HEY SON!!! WANT TO FUCK? I’LL GIVE YOU 20 BUCKS!!! C’MON
I’VE HAD A HARD-ON FOR WEEKS!!!

Theodore Nott: (Theo)
Well...it might be fun to fuck you but I bet it would be even more fun to
fuck my pillow (thanx Nicky for the idea *snicker*)

Poppy Pomfrey: (the nurse)
YOU CAN LEAVE MR. POTTER!! IT’S ONLY A 3 IN. DEEP CUT
THAT COULD GET INFECTED EASILY! Now I must treat this patient
who has an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny scrape! GOOD-BYE!!!

Lavender Brown: (???)
*low seductive voice* hey Ron...wanna shag? It’s only $300 as muggles
would say...c’mon...

Parvati & Padma Patil: (the prettiest girls in Harry’s year)
We’re twins...we do EVERYTHING together...ever wanted to try double?
It’s fun...*low laugh*


Fluer Delacour: (whore)
WELL, WELL, WELL, what ‘ave we ‘ere? A double? Ever (thought)
‘ought of (trying)‘rying a (triple)‘riple

Victor Krum: (seeker, celebrity, Ron: “THE ENEMY!!!”)
Hi Horomorone...what have you been doing...I’ve been doing feints and
stealing from other people.

Michael Corner: (Ginny’s ex)
Hey Cho...wanna go out now that I...I mean Voldemort, killed your ex
boyfriend *Cho’s eyes go big and she starts crying*

Luna Lovegood : (Loony Lovegood)
Hey Myrtle...MYRTLE!!!! Here comes Harry! Get ready and....NOW!! GOT
YA, YA SON OF A BITCH!!!

Flitwick: (Uh...??? Anybody know his first name?)
Well class, today we get...RECESS!!!! EVERYBODY GO PLAY WITH A
DRAGON!!!! (Charlie: NOOOOO!!! DRAGON!!! AHHHHH!!!)

Sprout: (Or hers?)
Today, in class, we will be learning how to drink milk, first you lift the cup,
then you put it on your lips at a tilt, then open your mouth and tilt the cup
farther and...THERE YOU GO!!!!

Quirrel: (Or his?)
Well, well, well, Snape...listening to rap metal? How bout this cool new
song called ‘The Girl All The Bad Guys Want’ by ‘Bowling For Soup’ (it’s
a real song, it ROCKS!!!)

Gilderoy Lockhart: (arrogant asshole)
NO! DON’T LOOK AT ME!!! I’M A HIDEOUS FAILURE!!! NO DON’T
LOOK!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!!

Dolores Umbridge: (toad)
Like...OMG...I TOTALLY envy you for that Cardigan!! It’s so pretty...!

Arabella Figg:(Figgy)
sook? What? Took? Hook? WHAT?! Oooooooo...mook...what’s a mook

Mr. Tibbles:(Figg’s cat)
AHHHHH SAVE ME...FIGG...ugh...forget it...where’s my food? *walks
off*

Mundungus Fletcher: (Dung)
Hello, Mrs. Figg. How are you my dear lady?

McNair: (Death Eater)
I’m not daft I tell you...not daft...*mutter incoherently w/ self*

Cho Chang: (airhead, Harry: pretty*dreamily* Hermione: *grumpily* Yeah,
pretty bitchy)
I HATED CEDRIC DIGGORY!!! I’M GLAD HE DIED!!! I WAS ONLY
GOING OUT WITH HIM FOR MONEY AND TO MAKE HARRY
JEALOUS!!! GO VOLDEMORT!! YOU ROCK VOLDIE!! OH YEA!!

Draco Malfoy: (again)
*singing ‘The Girl All The Bad Guys Want’, replacing Nona with
Hermione* *Hermione grins, dancing seductively to his off-key, out-of-
tune, singing while everyone else plugs up their ears* *Guys fawning over
her especially Theodore, Blaise and Severus*

Rubeus Hagrid:
*in REALLupidupid voice* I’M A WITHARD, I’M WITHARD, MARY-
DEE MARY-DUM...FALALALALA...

Dudley Dursley:
Harry, you’re hot...I love you...marry me and let me become your wife...I
don’t give a damn about mommy and daddy...I love you Harry!!!

Oliver Wood: (Quidditch Captain...I’m thinkin’ I’m thinkin’)
I should be naked in a movie...totally naked...all me...and maybe half a
snapshot of Draco and Harry but it should be all focused around naked old
me.




~PLEASE REVIEW!!! I\'M BEGGING YOU!!! PLEASE!!!!~

~The Author~