Hurt

****Dear readers...Had this one bouncing around in my skull
for awhile...dives into Severus\' past, and how it changed him.
Song fic that just wouldn\'t get out of my head...it fits him so well!!!
New character is suppose to speak a little different...so it\'s on purpose
that I write her that way....If you read my other story you would know that
my spell-check hates me, and it\'s a piece of smegging shit...promise i\'m working
on it. So please don\'t hate my writing because of a few miss-spells...I try my
best...honest! Not real bad...at least i hope not!! Please R/R...and i don\'t mean
rest and relax..LOL...Once again...no money...JRK owns all under heaven...Just
the bored ramblings of a DJ!!! Amidda Buddha...Shaolin****
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(A/N)...Had a review about this being a Johnny Cash song...this is wrong.
Trent Reznor wrote \"Hurt\" in 1993, and was recorded in 1994 at the
scene of the Manson murders at the former home of Sharon Tate. Johnny
Cash covered it on his last album before his death in September 2003. Along
with several covers of other popular songs like Depeche Modes\' \"Personal Jesus\",
and \"If ever I saw your face\", which was brought back into mainstream with the
arrival of the TV show \"Twin Peaks\". You can even check your liner notes on
Cash\'s last album...Composer:Trent Reznor! Not taking anything from the Man in
Black, but let\'s give credit where it\'s due!!
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HURT....

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel,
I focus on the pain, the only thing that\'s real

The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away, but I remember everything

What have I become my sweetest friend?
Everyone I know goes away in the end

You could have ll, ll, my empire of dirt
I will let you down ,I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit, upon my liars chair
full of broken thoughts, I could not repair

Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear
You are someone else, I am still right here

If I could start again, A million miles away
I would keep myself, I would find a way
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prolouge....

Severus Snape walked with his head down along the dark bleak streets of Diagon alley.
Well after midnight and tired, his body aching with the pain that the cold air brought. His dark mark still vaugely burning under his cloak folds. The reason for his summons, a needless conversation with Lucius Malfoy. They had increased as of late, only leaving him to wonder if Voldemort was growing suspicious of his actions.

\'No matter\', he thought, \'my death will come soon enough. I can only wonder if
anyone would mourn my passing.\'

He sneered at the thought, but then her face flashed before him. A painful reminder
of another life. She had come and gone like the breeze. Before Voldemort, before the
Death-Eaters, there had been her. He often thought about how his life would be
now if she had not disappeared. Maybe marriage, the children would be teenagers.
The children he never had with her. His dark angel, his Rhapsody.

Years had gone by and he still longed for her. No one ever taking her place within
him, and he had never tried to fill it. Only leaving a void, which he had filled with bitterness and the cold demenor that had grew to overcome even himself. Wallowing in his mixed feelings of anger, confusion, and the many unanswered questions that had plagued him for many years.

\'Only Rhapsody would mourn my death. And if she is dead now, I would be only to
pleased to join her.\'

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Chapter 1...Time heals no wounds

Harry fumbled with the dragon scales he was suppose to be turning into powder
for his potion. Snape was standing behind him, looking over his shoulder into his cauldron.
Scowling no doubt at Harry\'s feeble attempt at a sleeping draft.

\"Better catch up, Potter. You\'re lagging as usual!\" Snape quipped into his eanidenidely. Turning on his heel and inspecting the other potions that brewed around
his classroom.

\"Yes, very adiquit, MGranGranger.\" She tried to smile at him, but was met by a
sneer. Hermonie quickly put her head down. Snape continued his rounds around the
room.

\"No Longbottom, WRONG again!\"

\"Malfoy, stop that.\"

Draco had been using his wand to make the potion form itself into liquid objects
of his wish. Trying to flirt with two Slytherin girls a couple of tables over, and
making them giggle as it turned into a snake then getting braver made it form into
a grotestly large phalic symbol.

Draco looked up at Snape as the potion fell still once again in its couldron. He
almost found it funny...almost.

\"Mr.Malfoy didn\'t your mother ever tell you not to play with your potions? Now
bottle it, before you poke someone\'s eye out, or worse.\"

Draco caught Snapes little joke, and gave him a side smile. Every once in
a while he would find Snape teasing him, but no one else ever seemed to get his
dry humor. Not like it happened too very often though.

Maybe it had something to do with his father, Lucius. Snape had watched Draco grow up, and a few times when he was little, Severus, as he was called in the Malfoy home,
would seem to act almost like an uncle. Teag hig him about plants and roots,
showing them thier uses and special things they each could do, if you knew how to do it.
Very useful now, Draco was a whiz at Potions. His best subject.

Professor Snape could only roll his eyes at him, and wonder if his children would
have been the same. He thought of it often, never a day passing without the thought
of her. Hearing the bell that signaled the end of classes for the day gave him a great
sense of relief. His time nto gto go and spend time with the only thing he had, her
memory.

******************
Snape sat back in his black leather chair in front of the fire. Dinner had been hours ago
and yet here he was sipping on his brandy, filled with the lonliness that she had left in her
wake. His nightly ritual of brandy and slipping into his thoughts of her, driftting back over the years. Floating back through time, to where she existed now.

He could see her sitting by the Thames river, working furiously on her painting. A beautiful vision in a long patchwork skirt that splayed on the ground all around her. Dark olive skin, with long shiny black hair that reached well past her waist. Tied back by a colorful scarf of silk that fell down her back along with her hair. Her many silver bracelets shimmering and clinking softly in the summer breeze as she worked her hand across the surface of her painting.

Severus had been visiting London on business with the Ministry of Magic. Having just graduated from Hogwart\'s they were very interested in his potion ability, and were wanting to give him an entry level position. He was torn by his choices, and that\'s what had brought him here. To watch the river flow and to take his mind away from it all. Only now he didn\'t watch the river, only the small frame of the artist as she worked.

Her dangling earrings caught the light, and it stunned him for a moment. Rubbing his eyes,which were less harsh in those days, and as he opened them once more to gaze upon her, he found her eyes were fixed on him. A small welcoming smile playing on her red lips.

The tiny bells on her bracelet rang into his ears, as she waved him over to her. He stood slowly, trying to keep his composer. Trying not to walk too stiffly. When he reached her he tried to admire her painting. Very lovely, but it paled in comparison to her.

\"You like my painting, no?\" Her accent was strange, yet strangely erotic for him.

\"Um, no...I mean yes. Very lifelike.\" He was stammering now. She had turned her dark
chocolate eyes upon him, meeting his gaze. Somewhere behind those eyes she was
smiling at him, and somehow he knew it.

\"I sketch you now. You will sit here.\" It really wasn\'t a question, but he did what she told him. He watched in fascination as the long flowing movements of her hands brought life to the page of sketch book she held. Slowly filling in circles and lines, becoming his face before him as he watched intently.

When she was finished it made his breath catch in his throat. The way she had drawn him,he certanly didn\'t look like that. The face staring back at him was handsome, not the surly features he saw every morning.

\"You have strong face, beautiful features. Yes?\" Her accent was driving him wild, like
it was touching eveart art of him. His back getting shivers as she spoke.

\"I would not go that far, my dear lady.\"

\"Ah, your eyes give you away, sir. You do not think you are handsome, no?\"

He laughed softly, and closed his eyes embarrased by her flattery. Finding himself
a little braver with them shut he replied.

\"Not compared to some.\" Severus open his eyes, feeling slightly taken aback
by his comment. Not his usual behavior around women.

Her soft laughter could be heard above the numerous bells that adorned her jewelry and
her clothes. Even some that were intertwined in her long hair seemed to jingle without her
moving at all. Strange.

\"You take then.\" She ripped the page off, and rolled it up for him. Tieing it with a small red ribbon. \"To remind you of how others see you.\"

\"Thank you....\" He trailed off, wanting to thank her properly. Only she had not told
him her name. \"May I ask your name miss?\"

\"Ah, I have many names, but you may call me Rhapsody. I take it you
say good-bye?\" ?\" A twinge of sadness in her voice suprised him.

\"Not unless you would like me to stay.\"

She looked into his eyes again, and he almost melted. Her skin was almost the color
of creamed coffee, and he could see himself reflected in to dark pools of her eyes. Could he stay, should he stay?

\"You stay...you make nice addition to my painting. London landscape so bleak...you
give it color. Grey always need black to give it life. Please sit.\" Rhapsody motioned
for him to move closer into her line of vision so she could begin her painting again, but
abruptly stopped. She smiled and laughed lightly, \"Oh, I can not paint you!
I do not know your name. Bad luck it is to paint a nameless face.\"

\"Severus Snape...my lady. Feel free to paint away now.\" He bowed quickly,
not really knowing why he had, but feeling it was the right thing to do. Never
thinking such a thing before.

\"Very well, wizard.\"

He felt every muscle stiffen in his body. Wizard, how did she know? Was she not a muggle?

Suddenly it hit him, she was no muggle.....

\"Very well, gypsy.\"

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Smeg off!! No one cares about your futile attempts to run
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anger! You have no power here, now be gone before someone drops a house on
you as well!! Shaolin