Dirty deeds

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28 December

If someone had told me three years ago when I was still in school that I would be spending New Years with the Malfoys I would have escorted them to see Madame Pomfrey straight away. And yet here I am, along with Ron, Harry, Ginny and Professor Snape, staying at Malfoy r.
r.

Harry\'s here because he and Draco are an item, Ron and I are here because Harry needs to know that we accept this new relationship, and Ginny is here because Ron is here and the other Weasley\'s have gone abroad for their holidays. Fuck knows why Snape is here - to keep Lucius company I suppose. He hasn\'t got a lot in common with us, that\'s for sure.

I am surprised Lucius hasn\'t had a fit at the thought of a Mudblood such as myself crossing his threshold, much less two of the Weasleys. Its unfortunate, but when I wake up next to Ron in morning, I can\'t help but think of Lucius description - blank expressions etc. It\'s all I can do not to put the pillow over his gaping mouth and stop his bloody snoring.

The romance has worn off our relationship. My mother always said that you could tell when the romance was over if he started farting in bed. Believe me, if Ron started farting it would be the most interesting thing that has happened in our bed for months.

Its official, Ronald Weasley is a dreadful shag. Take last night, a bare two minutes snogging, a quick twist of the nipples, a fumble in the pants and he thinks his job is done. He then clambers aboard, pokes around for a bit trying to find his way in, and then off he goes. Energetic I grant you, but lousy. I don\'t know what\'s worse - when he just gets on with it and finishes quickly oen hen he flails aroaimlaimlessly for fifteen minutes trying to be considerate. They say that the shortest measurable moment of time is the London taxi driver second - which is how long it takes the cabbie to press his horn once the lights have changed and the car in front hasn\'t pulled off. I say it\'s the Ronniekins special - two thrusts and a grunt.

Dear god. I know we were both virgins when we started going out, but I thought things would get better. It\'s partly my fault because I didn\'t want to hurt Ron by bringing it up - so to speak (God my mind is running on sex all the time, even the chair legs are beginning to look attractive). But surely he must have noticed the distinct lack of movement, enthusiasm or moaning on my part. Surely he must have?

I think I\'ll do what I always do when I have a problem. Find a good book. The Malfoy library is quite extensive; there must be something in there that can help. If not, at least I\'ll have something to do whilst darling Ronniekins gets himself off. I wonder if there is some sort of spell that can put the pages of a book on the ceiling.