100 Ways to Kill a Weasley

Finally, the war was over, and had been for the last four years. Harry Potter and his wife Ginny were expecting their first child in the springtime; George Weasley had married and named his first son after his late twin Fred, and Professor Severus Snape, as it appeared, was not dead, but indeed alive, after the snake attack in the Shrieking Shack. One could say that all was well for everyone, except the newly married couple of Ron and Hermione Weasley.



They had not yet been married for six months when they started having problems in their marriage. Hermione was always a hard worker working to get to the top of everything during her school days at Hogwarts, and now she works at the Ministry of Magic, working ten times harder than at school, meaning she came home late, and left early the next day. She did not really see the problem with going to work early or coming home late, she thought that the more she worked, the more she would be noticed by her boss, however her husband did see the problem.



You see, Ronald Weasley wanted a wife to come home to and a perfectly cooked meal waiting for him at the table when he returned from work. Hermione had no problem with the idea of coming home early for Ron, but it was his idea of wanting to start a family that had Hermione shaking her head and telling Ron that she was not ready for children yet. That was when their problems started.



When Hermione had told Ron that she was not ready for a child, Ron started to dote on Harry and Ginny’s unborn child, making Hermione feel bad about the whole baby situation with her husband. Nevertheless, the couple continued their arguments having children and their normal lives of work. They really didn’t have a sex life, because Hermione was a workaholic, and on weekends, Ron was either at a Quidditch match with Harry or sleeping all day, while Hermione usually went with Ginny to shop for the new baby.



“Don’t worry about Ron,” said Ginny as they walked around Diagon Alley after Hermione told her friend and sister in law about her life with Ron. “He’ll grow out of it.”



“But when Ginny?” she asked, “When will ever grow out of it? He’ll always talk about Quidditch and want to have children. Two things I just don’t want to talk about!”



“Maybe you two aren’t meant to be,” replied Ginny as they entered Flourish and Blott’s bookstore.



“Maybe” said Hermione quietly as she followed Ginny through the door.



While in Flourish and Blott’s, Hermione though considerably about Ginny’s words. Was there someone else out there for the both of them that they have not yet met, or was Hermione meant to be stuck in a marriage she was unhappy with? She kept thinking until she bumped into a solid body, knocking her to the ground.



“Do watch where you are going Miss Granger,” said a silky voice from above the only voice that would call her Miss Granger, even though he witnessed their marriage.



Looking up, Hermione found that she had bumped into her old potions professor.



“I’m sorry sir,” said Hermione, lifting herself up, “I was distracted by my thoughts.”



“Aren’t we all” he replied with a smirk, as he watched Hermione get up off the ground.



“Sorry?” Hermione asked, not understanding Snape’s remark.



“No matter” Snape said, “I trust that you are well?”



“Yes, thank you for asking. And how are you?”



“The same as always” Snape replied, “I am miserable as ever.”



“Perhaps we can discuss how miserable you are over a cup of tea later today?” asked Hermione, hoping he would say yes. She did not want to be stuck at home with a grouchy Ron.



“What about your husband?”



“He won’t mind, he usually doesn’t come home from Quidditch games until its past midnight,” replied Hermione.



“Yes, I believe, we shall make it a date” Snape said, “I think two would be fine at the Leaky Cauldron?”



“Perfect” she said before Snape left the store.



“Did you just agree to have tea with Snape at two?” asked a voice from behind. Hermione turned around to see a pregnant Ginny standing there with her arm full of books.



“No, He agreed with me” replied Hermione as she grabbed the books form Ginny and took them to the cashier.



After shopping with Ginny, they ate a small lunch at the Leaky Cauldron before Ginny decided to walk to number twelve Gimmauld Place, where she and Harry lived, leaving Hermione to wait for Snape to arrive. When he did arrive, and the tea was ordered, they hit it off right away. Hermione thought he was different from the Severus Snape she knew as student, this time he was actually funny. He had a dry sense of humor, which she liked, he didn’t stare at her breasts when she talked about a boring subject like Ron did, and he actually looked into her eyes, something Ron hadn’t done since they said their wedding vows. After their tea, they decided to have lunch with each other that following Wednesday during Hermione’s lunch break. After that was when everything had changed for Hermione.



After about two months of being just friends, Hermione and Severus finally took their relationship to the next level…Dating. Even though Hermione was married to Ron, she was seeing some behind his back, someone that made her happier than Ron. When May arrived, Ginny gave birth to a seven-pound baby boy named James Sirius Potter, naming Ron and Hermione godparents to the new baby. However, when the baby was born, Hermione spent less time with Severus and more time with the Weasley family. Nevertheless, when summer arrived, and school had ended for Severus, Hermione planned a romantic weekend for her and Severus at Brighton, where they would enjoy a weekend in their hotel room.



When that weekend arrived, Hermione learned two things about Severus: he was great in bed and even better with his mouth. She could not believe that she had missed his incredible talents, while she was married with Ron. She was in heaven with him. For the next several weeks, they made it a custom to meet every Saturday at the same hotel and share a bed together, making love with each other until it was time to leave.

However, in mid-August, Hermione couldn’t go to one of their meetings due to a sudden illness that had struck her that morning.



“How do you get the flu in the middle of August?” asked Ginny as she gave Hermione a tray that was filled with soup and a warm cup of tea.



“I guess it’s just something that happens suddenly,” replied Hermione as she drank her tea.



However, her sickness continued for another two weeks, making her miss two more meetings, and work. But, when she was in the middle of her second week, she finally had the nerve to go to St. Mungo’s to see if anything was wrong. After her appointment, she was afraid of what Severus was going to say or how Ron would react, so she asked Severus to meet her in the Leaky Cauldron at three, so they could talk about her situation.



“Hermione, are you okay?” Severus asked as soon as he sat down across from Hermione in a private parlor.



“Yes and No” replied Hermione, feeling sick and nervous at the same time.



“Explain” Severus commanded.



“You know that I care for you and love you yes?” asked Hermione, looking deep in her lover’s eyes.



“Of course I know, and I too care and love you” he replied staring back into her eyes.



“Severus, I’m pregnant!” cried Hermione, tears starting to fall down her cheeks.



“Don’t cry Hermione,” said Severus grabbing Hermione’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “It is my child, yes?”



“Of course it is” Hermione whispered looking at Severus. “I haven’t slept with Ron since last year.”



“Are you going to tell him?” Severus asked.



“Yes, of course” Hermione replied. “I just don’t know how he’ll react to the news”



“Just tell him, and if he hurts you or the baby in any way, I’ll talk to him,” said Severus.



“Thank you dear.”



“Now go and tell him,” Severus said, as Hermione got up and hugged him.



“I love you Severus,” Hermione whispered, as she held on to her lover.



“I love you too Hermione.”



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“Oh Hermione! I knew you would finally agree to have children with me!” exclaimed Ron after Hermione told him the news.



“But there’s one problem Ron” explained Hermione as she stood in Ron’s cramped cubicle at the Ministry.



“And what’s the problem?” he asked. “Is it a squib?”



“No” Hermione replied feeling nervous.



“Well then say it! I’d like to know how our baby’s doing!” Ron cried aloud.



“ItsnotyourchilditsSeverusSnapesbaby!” Hermione blurted before she could think.



“What about Severus Snape?” Ron asked, looking a little confused.



“It’s his child!” yelled Hermione frustrated.



“Get out” Ron whispered dangerously.



“Ron, I’m sorry,” Hermione said.



“OUT you whore!” he yelled, making Hermione jump and several different heads to pop out of their cubicles.



But Hermione didn’t leave, she stood there crying. “You heard me little whore! I said get out of here before I have you thrown out!” he yelled.



“Fine” Hermione cried. “Just don’t expect to find me at home waiting for an apology from you. I intend to raise this baby with its father!”



“Good! I don’t need you! You whore!” shouted Ron as Hermione left the Auror department.



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For the next couple of weeks, no one heard any word from Hermione or Ron. It was as if they had disappeared from the face of the earth completely! Their disappearance had Harry and the Weasley family worried about the two. However, they received a letter from Hermione that she was okay and not to worry about her, and that she and Ron are not together at the moment, which made Molly Weasley be even more worried.



When September arrived, Ginny Potter decided to tell her husband where Hermione probably was and what was happening, having received a letter from her friend the previous day. However, she told him not to bother her for now and to wait until she wants to talk. Harry, being the good husband listened to his wife, and did not pursue the matter any longer, but he was still worried about Ron.



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Hermione woke up late on Saturday, knowing she did not have to do anything that day besides make love to her lover, Severus Snape. After getting up from the bed she shared with him, she got dressed and walked to the Great Hall, where she knew Severus was reading the Daily Prophet and enjoying his favorite dish…the fear of his students. She sat next to him and loaded her plate with everything that she could reach and started stuffing her face with food.



“Hermione?”



“Yes Severus” Hermione said as she grabbed her cup full of milk.



“I think you should read the letter that came for you last week,” replied Severus as he handed her the envelope

she had refused to open for a whole entire week.



“Why? I know who wrote it.” Hermione snapped.



“It’s either from a letter from a friend or from a Rita Skeeter article” Severus said setting the letter next to

Hermione’s plate.



“Alright” Hermione sighed as she grabbed the week old letter.



Dear Hermione,



I know things have been rough between you and Ron, and I know where you are and what has happened too. In case you are wondering how I know, is that Ginny told me after the school term started at Hogwarts. However, this letter is not to try and persuade you to back to London and make amends with all of us. Instead, I am only writing to tell you of the terrible news that has struck us all back home. You see, after you left, Ron left too, and for several weeks, we did not hear from him, so Arthur, George, Bill, and I started searching for him. We kept searching for days until we found him in an abandoned building somewhere in Hampshire. What we found was several empty bottles of various alcohols and prescription drugs, and his lifeless body in the middle of the room. There was no note or anything, just him and the bottles. Please Hermione come to his funeral next Sunday. Molly would appreciate if she saw that you are still alive.



Harry.





By the time Hermione was finished reading the letter, she had tears streaming down her cheeks. Making Severus ask her if there was something wrong.



“Ron’s dead Severus!” she cried still holding the letter in her hand.



“There there” said Severus, hugging his beloved. “It’s not the end of the world now.”



“I know, I just didn’t expect him to kill himself,” replied Hermione, as she held on tightly to Severus. “Don’t worry about me dear, I’ll be perfectly fine.”



“I know,” Severus whispered in her ear. “Marry Me?”



“Yes” Hermione whispered back to him, before kissing him on the lips. Their kiss lasted a few moments before a loud applause and a few wolf whistles were heard from the staff and students.



“Don’t you have to be studying for your classes?” Severus asked the students dangerously, before they all left the Great Hall in terror.



“Make love to me” said Hermione said after everyone left the Great Hall, and Severus was carrying her down to the dungeons.



“That madam I shall do” replied Severus, letting her feel his obvious erection through his trousers.



“I love you Hermione.”



“I love you too Severus.”



The End.