Boys Night, Girls Night

Thank you all for the feedback- as always, it was hugely helpful!
Here is a Christmas Treat for you all- I hope it was worth the wait- let me know!!

_________


For a long moment, Hermione stood silent. She had so many things she needed to say, but words failed her. She knew enough that this letter had to wait till after this conversation. Draco’s face told her more than any mirror would. She had changed back into herself.
As fast as she could she gathered her defenses as his disbelief gave way to anger. More anger than she expected. It was somewhere closer to the fury she saw when Death Eaters had cornered her all those years ago; except it had been directed towards them that time...not her. She felt her body lockdown waiting for the impact.


“What the HELL! HERMIONE? What- who…Hannah. You’re Hannah? You? When, how…WHY? WHAT THE HELL!” His words got stuck in his throat, tripping over each other on the way out.

She took a deep breath. “Draco, it’s complicated. I-”

“No.” He interrupted her. His body was stiff, his face wiped clean of emotion. The dim light made him look dark and inscrutable. But it was the eyes that told her everything. They were cold, stone cold. “You don’t get to use the ‘it’s complicated’ card. I want the truth and I want it right now, no excuses.” He said with an edge. “Are you Hannah?”

Mutely, she nodded her head. He ran a hand over his face, through his hair.
“That night at the bar,” he asked pinching his nose.

“You were my target." she whispered miserably. "It’s this game we play for Girls Night. After the war, everyone knew our faces and we couldn’t go out and just let go without a tabloid in our way reporting our every move. You remember how bad it was. So we began charming our appearances.
Then it was complete freedom. We could do whatever we wanted without any of the hassle.” She had forced herself to walk back to the kitchen while explaining, but couldn’t bring herself any closer to Draco, who had crossed his arms about his chest.

His face held a curious interest. "Why did you let it go any further? You could have just told me before we left the bar." He seemed interested, but she knew him well enough that there was something brewing underneath the calm.

“That night, I was not exactly in the right frame of mind to make any decisions. When it got down to the dare part, I accepted without really thinking it through. Half of me was sure you wouldn’t even bother with me. The other half...” She paused. Did she want to let this out? He could throw it back at her. She wasn’t sure if she could survive that potential bomb.

“The other half what?” He asked flatly. So there was something brewing under this calm. Hermione glanced at him. He was stiff, focused, decided on what he was going to do. She decided to give up everything she had if it would soften him just a little.

“The other half wanted it. Wanted you.” She let blurted out, blushing. “It was irrational, and like I said, not really the ideal moment for my bravado to come out.” She half grinned. But quickly stopped when she noticed he was still staring at her like that.

“Alright, so you tricked me. Any Slytherin could have done worse. Who cares?” He nearly shouted, his hands flying up in the air. He jabbed a finger at her. “You knew for a week. Over a week! And you didn’t say a GODDAMNED WORD! You let me prattle on about everything like a fool.”

“I know, but I thought- I convinced myself you would forget about her... me. Forget about me.” She tried. She had tried. Lord knows she had tried.

“Who else knows?” He asked. The abrupt change in direction of the conversation confused her for a moment.

Not far from her mind, the response of “my stalker” came floating unbidden into her mind. Now was not the time. Even if all she wanted to do was run into his arms and hear his plans to fix it.
“The girls. But only Ginny knows how far.”

He laughed a dark laugh. But it wasn’t what she wanted. It was bitter and mocking. “What, not Krum? I would have thought he’d been in on it. Are you sure it wasn’t him who helped you along? Maybe a sadistic new game for you two to try out?” He sneered walking towards her.

Watching him stalk towards her, she froze. Unable to move an inch. Like a prey caught by their predator. She could make out his expression clearly now. It was a mix of lust and loathing, frustration and desire, all the humors mixed up.

“Did you two have a good laugh? Did you get your kicks out of it?” He leaned over her, resting his hands on her shoulders.
“Did I at least provide one pleasurable moment for you?” Draco held himself a breath away from her. His muscles were taut. He was fighting himself. She felt his thumb trace the pale vein in her neck.

If she leaned into him one inch, lifted her chin in just the right way...

Then all of a sudden he was five feet away and she staggered to collect herself.


“Or did I fail to meet your standards? Was I unworthy of the Great Princess of Gryffindor?” Each word dripped with condescension and complete distaste. For himself or her was unclear.

Most likely for her.

She thought she might know where this was going now. “No.” she rushed to correct him, still disoriented from him being so close. “No, Krum doesn’t know anything. The reason anything happened at all between us was because I couldn’t forget about you.” She told him honestly. She would put it all out there, everything she had if it could stop what she knew he was going to do.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, again, seeming to weigh something. When he looked back up she felt a drop of what she was sure was going to be a waterfall of regret fall into her stomach. He wasn’t going to let her apologize. He’d made his decision.

“Draco, I tried to tell you. Really I did. Even tonight, but-” She begged, desperate.

“Hell no.” He lashed out. “Don’t you dare try to play this off as my fault. No and no again! Did you think I would be relieved? Or maybe you thought I would be overjoyed to find that the witch I was FUCKING was YOU?! That everything would just fall together? For one of the brightest witches of our age you sure are blindly dense Granger.”

His tirade was weightless since she knew he was hurt. And betrayed. She would probably have said something worse if the tables had been turned.
But it was the mention of her last name that got to her, that broke through the defenses she had set up for herself. So they were back to that then? He might have used it recently, but it was always with an air of good nature. Now it was used without any reference except derision.

She felt tears sting and bowed her head. That silly reference brought back the years where they loathed each other. It hurt worse than anything he said before. She ignored his aggressive stance and placed a timid hand on his arm.

“I didn’t say anything of the kind, Draco.” She would use that name regardless until the very end, especially since it looked like the very end was staring her in the face. “I am just saying that I’m sorry.” She said with feeling, willing him to change his mind.

“Don’t, Granger.” He growled. Under her fingers, he was rigid, unmoving, like he wasn’t even breathing. She tilted her head back to stare at the eyes that had narrowed into slits.

Again, she ignored it. “Truly, deeply, and horribly sorry. I am appalled at myself. I am saying that I tried to tell you before this, that I tried to prevent it, and I didn’t want to let this go on and hurt our friendship the way-”

“Friendship? FRIENDSHIP?” he exploded, shaking off her arm. He stalked back towards the sink too angry to stand still.
“What friendship are you referring to?” He asked acidly, each word felt like it was delivered on the lash of a whip. “A friend doesn’t keep half their life a secret. A FRIEND doesn’t fuck around with their friends for the sheer pleasure it brings.” He raged at her.

Draco walked towards her, his voice accusing and dripping with disdain. Hermione refused to back up. She held her ground, taking each word and letting it cut through her. She deserved this. She deserved this punishment.

“Is that what you wanted? The control over Draco Malfoy that other witches can never get?” She shook her head and closed her mouth on the denials, the words trying to claw their way out.

“Please,” she mumbled. “Please don’t do this.”


It didn’t work.

“There are no friends here right now.” He snarled leaning over her. “There are two flat mates having a disagreement. Labeling it something else is just sugar coating it.” Those eyes boring into hers defied her to say it was something else.

She looked down, trying to cover up the tears that still threatened to spill over. She wouldn’t cry in front of him. She wouldn’t give him that satisfaction.
Composed, she tilted her head up warily, not really wanting to ask the question, but knowing it had to be done. “Is that what I am to you, Draco? A roommate? Is that all I am?” She hated the tiny quaver she heard in her own voice.

“Yes.” His voice was level. Hermione looked up to see no indecision lurking in his face. “We share a flat; you pay rent, nothing more. Anything else is a clear distortion of the truth. I don’t know what delusions you were entertaining, Granger, but I hope they haven’t gotten the best of you.” He finished ruthlessly, hostility rolling off him in waves as he towered over her.

She closed her eyes, not wanting to see the revulsion stare back at her. She knew they were friends.
Right?
Hundreds of nights spent hanging out together, the pranks, the laughter. All the times he made her laugh when she wanted to cry. All the times she listened as he complained about work or some girl who disappointed him in some way.

Now she was that girl.

She was aware the pain ripping right through her torso, aware but did not acknowledge. She felt her hands clench into fists as she tried to order her panicked thoughts. Who would have thought an innocent game would bring her here to this point.

Hermione tried to speak, but felt the lump in her throat. She covered her mouth with her hand. She recognized that she was shaking slightly. Even her body was telling her this was wrong. She cleared her throat again and crossed her arms in front of her, trying to stop trembling before it gave her away.

When she opened her eyes she deliberately looked to the left of where Draco was to the window. It was there she directed her next words. If she looked at him now she might not be able to get the words out.

“I’m sorry, Draco. I’ll say it as many times as you need to believe me. I’ll do anything you want to prove it to you.” Hermione turned and started gathering her coat and bag from the couch. “But since you’ve made it very clear, I promise I won’t get in your way anymore.”

There. She managed to say what she wanted, despite how much it hurt her. She could see the darkness waiting for her, could see the cliff she was hanging on to.

It was going to be a long fall.

She quickly made her way to the door, anxious to get out of there before she lost the ability to hold herself together.

“Where are you going?” He asked, surprise leaking into his voice.

Hermione looked back knowing it wasn’t a great decision. She was glad in a small way. Nothing would have justified missing this snapshot, regardless of the longing welling up in her.

He was still naked, a fact that had faded into the background during the fight. She let her eyes roam over him, memorizing each and every muscle, the shape of those lips, the precise color of his eyes, the hair that fell just right. She ignored the frustrated expression and baleful glare to focus instead on the contours of his cheeks, the clear line of his jaw. She took a mental photograph, savoring it.

Working to keep a level of detachment in her voice, she opened her mouth to cut the thread that tied them together.

“I’m just a roommate, Malfoy. Why should I have to tell you anything?” She closed the door quietly and let the tears come.