My Past Will Always Catch Up

Title: My Past Will Always Catch up
Author: Allanasha Ke Kiri
Summary: After the deaths of both Ron and Hermione in their seventh year, Harry ran. The pressure was too much; they thought he’d be back, after he realized they needed him. But he never returned, just ran and hid in the one place he was sure no one would look for him.
Rating: M
Warnings: Sexual content
Pairing: Voldemort/Harry

Chapter 8

When I awoke the next morning, I found myself unable to move. My instinct reaction was to lash out, rid myself of the restraints, but I remember where I was. Opening my eyes, I saw that I was right. Around me, and on me were all eight children.

Eliza was half on my chest, one of her hands clenching my shirt tightly. I tried to lift my hand to rub her back, only to find myself unable to move it. Sarah was curled around it, her hand holding onto my wrist.

I shifted slightly, as far as I could go, wondering who was where. I managed to, somehow, brace myself on my elbows, as extended as they were, and lift myself to see. Jacob was on my stomach, thumb in his mouth. Beyond him, I saw that Joshua and Marcus had stolen my legs. Marie was tucked under my left arm, which Nicklas had hold of. Even in his sleep, he held on as if his life depended on it. Chris slept along my right side, the only one not actually touching me.

I really had become a human teddy bear. I didn’t mind it much, though, except the not being able to move bit. Shifting once again, I wondered if I could wiggle out form under them … no, it didn’t look like it. I was well and truly held down.

Carefully, I began the process of removing my hand from Sarah’s grasp. She shifted in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. As soon as I was sure of that, I worked on freeing my hand from Nicklas’. Once both hands were once again at my disposal, I shifted Eliza off my chest and freed my shirt from her hand. She whimpered, but didn’t wake up.

I let out a silent sigh of relief. Three left, I thought. This one was going to be interesting. Placing one hand behind him, I slowly sat up, supporting his weight as I did so. Once up, I slid my other hand around him and twisted around placing him behind me. I was literally amazed that he hadn’t woken up.

Deciding not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I turned to the two asleep on my legs. Well, Joshua could just be slipped off and laid below Marie. With a nod, I did just that, then set to work setting Marcus at my feet.

As soon as I could, I stood and moved away from them, careful not to step on any of them. That would be bad … very bad.

Once in the kitchen, I stretched, moaning when my back popped into place. I wondered how long they’d slept with me, how long I hadn’t moved. Awhile, if my protecting back was anything to go by.

Well, at least they weren’t crying, I decided. I remembered needing comfort when I was younger, needing it and not getting it. I was happy that I could give it to someone else.

***

I had just finished making breakfast when I suddenly gained 40 pounds. Glancing down, I saw that Eliza had attached herself to my leg. Blinking once, I reached down and ran my hand through her hair. I have to admit, I adored her hair. Even with it’s curls it seemed as soft as silk. She’d be lucky if she never grew out of it.

She mumbled something into my pants, causing me to chuckle.

“What was that, Elly?” I asked. “I couldn’t hear you.”

“Weren’t there when I woke,” she said, with a sniffle, gazing up at me with tear filled eyes. “Thought you’d gone.”

I knelt down to her height, forcing her to release my leg.

“I’m not going until Kesa’s better,” I told her. “I wont leave you alone.”

Her hands clutched my shirt. “Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise.”

“After?”

I ran another hand through her curls. “Well, I’m gonna … going-“ she smiled. “-to have to go home eventually, and back to work.”

“But not going to leave us?”

Her eyes were big as she asked, almost pleading.

I didn’t answer right away. I wanted to agree with her, but I still planned on leaving, eventually. The longer my silence went, the sadder her eyes got.

“We don’t know what life will bring,” I told her, finally. “I don’t want to promise something I can’t keep. I will, however, promise that I’ll be here as long as I can.”

She nodded, eyes still dreadfully sad. So I pulled her into a hug just as the others came in.

“Morning,” I told them before standing. “Breakfast is ready, so grab your plates.

Breakfast was pancakes, bacon, scrambled eggs and toast. Marie wrinkled her nose at the eggs.

“I don’t want those,” she said.

I blinked at her. “But I made them.”

“I don’t like them,” she whined.

“Neither do I,” I lied.

She blinked at me, frowning. “Then why’d you make them?”

“Because I like them.”

The poor girl looked utterly confused. “What?”

Take them,” I told her, “and I’ll show you what I mean.”

She didn’t look particularly happy, but didn’t protest when I added the eggs to her plate. None of the other kids had any problems. The moment I sat down, Marie crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, as if daring me to make the eggs taste better. Instead of explaining it, I picked up a slice of toast and fork and began piling my eggs onto it. Once all of it was on, I put the other slice on top and bit down(1). Then raised an eyebrow at Marie.

The girl frowned at me, obviously not convinced, but I ignored her and continued with my breakfast. I did notice, however, that the other children were trying it. Dear me, it looked as though I’d started a trend. After another minute of silent sulking, Marie gave in and tried it as well, looking pleasantly surprised as she took her first bite.

“I thought Children weren’t supposed to play with their food,” came a familiar voice from the doorway.

“It’s not playing if it’s actually eaten,” I replied, dryly, twisting slightly to see him more clearly. “Children, this is Evan, he’s staying at my apartment for the time being.”

Evan just eyed them. They eyed him back.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Evan,” Chris said, politely, if warily. “Welcome to our home.”

Evan’s eyes landed on Chris, though he remained silent.

“Either say something or stop staring at him,” I ordered … okay, I snapped, but Chris was looking more and more unnerved the longer Evan stared at him.

The man’s gaze shifted to me, but he grinned, once again amused at my expense. It was seriously pissing me off.

“But it’s so much fun to watch the kiddies squirm,” he replied.

I shook my head at him, not at all impressed. “Why are you here?” I asked. I’d hoped he’d stay away, what with the bracelet and all.

“You’re amusing. It was boring at your place, kitten.”

“Kitten?” Sarah asked, face crunching up.

“The name he insists on calling me,” I explained, dryly. “I’ve no idea why.”

“Oh, but you do,” he replied, gleefully.

I ignored him, returning to my breakfast. I saw him move out of the corner of my eye, but said nothing. Perhaps he was going into the kitchen. There was still some food left if he bothered to look. The children were all watching him.

I tensed a moment later when his hands landed on the table on either side of me. My hand clenched around my fork, seconds from snarling at him to move. Being this close to me, he made my skin crawled. Ever instinct I’d ever possessed was telling me to get the fuck away from him.

“So like a cat,” he whispered, breath brushing my year. “Smooth and elegant, proud. A panther is what you are.”

I froze, only for a moment. How the hell did he know? The only ones who’d known was Ron, Hermione, and Dumbledore.

“And you are insane,” I told him dryly. “Now remove yourself.”

He didn’t. “Oh, but Kitten, you’re so fun.”

“Leave him alone!”

My head turned, causing me to blink at Eliza in surprise. She never sounded angry, never. Yet, she did now. Evan looked at her too, though he was intrigued at her glare. I think I preferred amused.

“I said, leave him alone!” she repeated, grabbing Evan’s arm (she was seated next to me) and pulled it back. Surprisingly, Evan went, tough I’m positive he let her force him away.

“Can’t have him,” she said, latching onto my arm. “He’s ours, mine. You wont take him from us. Wont let you. He’s mine.”

Bloody hell … Please tell me Eliza didn’t have a crush on me.

Behind me, Evan laughed.

***

The rest of breakfast went by fairly uneventfully … after Eliza calmed down at any rate. I let the children go play, with a promise to join them later, and stormed my way to the living room. Thankfully, Evan followed. Unfortunately, he had that thrice-damned look again. I continued to amuse him. I didn’t bloody want to amuse him.

“I just want to know what the hell you’re trying to pull,” I told him, my voice marvelously calm.

He didn’t respond right away. Instead, he moved to Kesa’s chair and sat down. It was so wrong I couldn’t even put it to words. That was Kesa’s chair. Kesa, who was an old, spry, nice, fun, sane, easy to talk to, and sane lady. Evan did not belong in her chair.

I didn’t say any of this out loud. It would have only amused him more, I’m sure.

“Not pulling anything, Harry.”

I scowled. “The name is Raven. I don’t give a bloody fuck what they say it is.”

Evan blinked at me. “Good, that would hurt.”

“What?” I asked, sounding absolutely exasperated.

“A bloody fuck. It would hurt, for at least one of the party. So it’s a good thing you wouldn’t give them one.” He was smirking at me.

I blinked at him, completely mystified. He continued to smirk back, obviously enjoying that fact.

“You,” I told him, blankly. “Are insane.”

“But you prefer me over Mummy Bella,” he grinned.

“I’m seriously debating that fact,” I told him.

He didn’t seem insulted. Figures.

I sighed and dropped onto the couch, lounging back. I had to get control of myself again.

“Aren’t you worried?” he asked, leaning forward. His head was tilted slightly, making him look inquisitive.

“About what?” I drawled.

“That I’ll tell the master your secret.”

Damn right I am!

I shrugged. “What secret?” I asked.

His eyes died, making him appear sane for the first time. My heart stopped.

“Don’t play games, Raven,” he said, causing me to blink. His voice caused every warning in me to go off, and I straightened in my seat, ready to move if I had to.

“See, didn’t even take a thought. You’re ready for a fight,” he smirked at me, and it was darker than any of his others. “You remember, you never forgot. You ran, and you don’t want to go back do you?”

I didn’t respond. This side of Evan was making me itch for my wand … which was home. I never need my wand here, and with wizards around, I didn’t want to fuck up. Right now, I was wishing I had it.

“Even now, you don’t panic, do you?” his voice softened to a whisper, though no less dangerous. “You’re thinking, but you’re calm. Not even Bella is that calm with me.”

I still didn’t say anything. He fell silent, eying me. I wasn’t going to speak first.

“Not going to defend yourself?” he asked. “Say you don’t remember? Or do I scare you?”

Damn it Potter, you’re a Gryffindor, act like it!

“Maybe,” I answered with a shrug. “You’re insane, Evan,” I told him. “Everyone knows to be wary of insane killers.”

“There it is again,” he said, gleefully. “Little tidbits of knowledge that you shouldn’t know but do. You spout it off so casually. Couldn’t have known what I am, what we are, couldn’t have known the word muggle a week ago, yet both words slip from your tongue easily.”

“Nott spoke it a couple of times. It made sense.”

Evan just grinned. “Maybe, maybe. But couldn’t have known about me. You remember, Harry, you remember. Can’t fool me.”

I shook my head. “All hearsay,” I drawled, sounding bored. “Besides, Voldemort’s already done that mind thing. Wouldn’t he have found something?” I rasied an eyebrow at the end of my question.

“You have it hidden somehow. Hidden so well he had no clue of it.”

I rolled my eyes, though inside, I had a mild panic attack. How the hell was I supposed to make him doubt himself.”

“Think what you-“

“I don’t think I’ll tell him.”

I blinked at him. “What?”

Evan smirked, still looking more scary than Voldemort had ever accomplished. “It’ll be much more fun to see him try and pull you to his side. Even more when he learns you haven’t forgotten.”

“Why aren’t you telling him then?” I couldn’t help but ask. “If it would be so fun, why not tell him your suspicions?”

His smirk grew into a grin and I knew I had, somehow, only confirmed his suspicions. How, I had no bloody clue.

“Because it’s more amusing to watch you as is, trying so hard to forget, to pretend you never hated the people who claim to be family, who claims to be your lover.”

I choked. “What?” I surged to my feet. “They planned it,” I growled.

His eyes flashed with triumph.

Shit.

“Of course it was,” he said, returning once again to the amused Evan. Good, I don’t think I could have handled Creepy Evan for much longer.

“They had it all planned out. Bella as Mummy, Lucius as Daddy, Voldemort as a lover.”

I sat once more. “And you? Who the hell are you supposed to be?”

He grinned. “You’re friend and teacher.”

I really couldn’t help the groan that left my lips. What the hell had Voldemort been thinking?

***

Jonathan hadn’t been happy when I’d called him and told him I wouldn’t be in to work for a while. He’d went from unhappy to stunned when I explained the situation.

“You’re taking care of orphans?” had been his question. He’d seemed amused. I seem to be amusing everyone these days. That didn’t matter; all that mattered was that I got permission. I had no doubt that my co-workers would be told the reason for my absence. They’d have a hell of a laugh, I had no doubt.

Evan was gone again, for which I could only say “Thank Merlin.”

Currently, the kids were somewhere in the house, and I was in the living room, a book in my lap, eyes unseeing. Evan knew my secret. He couldn’t not after I’d fucked up. For now, he seemed content to keep it, but for how long? My eyes slid to my wrist, where the band still lay. He would eventually, I knew it. It was only a matter of time. Leaning back in my seat, I frowned slightly. This was bad, very bad. Silently, I fingered the ‘bracelet’.

This was very bad.

--

(1) I not only despise scrambled eggs, they make me gag when I try to eat them. Literally, they’re the only thing I’ve ever found that makes my gag reflex work. However, if I eat them between slices of toast, I can get them down. It’s very strange. The taste is completely different … for me at least.

Slash promised for the next chapter.