It Was Only A Kiss!

This is where it starts to earn its NC-17 rating

Author's Note: Thanks for the feedback for the last chappie. Cheers!

Chapter Eight

‘I want to.’

Almost before the words had left Remus’ mouth, lips were pressing against his and for an instant, he stopped breathing. His head spun from the cacophany of sensation that soft flesh created inside him and he closed his eyes against the sickening, dizzy rush of blood.

Their lips slid awkwardly against each other at first, both of them breathing heavily into each others' mouths then Sirius groaned against Remus' lips.

‘Merlin, Moony. This isn’t right.’

Remus moaned a little noise of agreement, but neither of them pulled away. Neither wanted to want this, to need this, but they didn't know how to stop it now.

They didn't know if they wanted to stop it now.

So, instead of coming to an end with Sirius' words, the kiss became less hesitant.

There was none of the gentleness they would have used with a girl - they nipped and bit and forced their tongues past lips and teeth in an attempt to claim supremacy. The kiss was almost angry; their brutality revenge for the forbidden lust they stirred in the other.

The air in their curtained cocoon became thick with moans and bitten-off cries and, with a loud groan of surrender, Sirius pushed Remus onto his back. Neither wore shirts and Remus shoved the sheet between them down, wanting to feel Sirius’ skin against his, then gasped when the contact burnt like fire.

‘Fuck.’

Sirius' mumbled curse filled Remus’ mouth and he felt a surge of desire, his grip on his restraint slipping considerably knowing Sirius was as needy as he was. With what only could be described as a growl, he pushed against Sirius, flipping them so he was pressed against the brunette’s now reclining body. He ducked and tucked his head into Sirius’ neck, breathing deeply to try and regain some control as it struck him that this was what had happened last full moon - him trying to gain dominance over Sirius. It hadn‘t been play between the pups that got a little rough - it had been a mating ritual.

Remus and Moony both wanted this.

His body shuddered at the realisation and Sirius whined very canine-like into his ear when he felt the tremor. Remus felt the wolf inside him stir as he sank his hands into the raven hair and unthinkingly bit down where neck met shoulder.

Sirius groaned and writhed underneath him, his voice hoarse when he whispered,‘Oh, that feels good.’

With Remus’ swift twisting movement, the sheets had slipped down to tangle at their feet and their boxer short clad bodies were lying toe to toe, mouth to mouth and groin to groin... as Remus realised when Sirius arched up. Hard flesh collided and gasps escaped almost violently from their lips as their insides twisted with urgent need.

‘OhmygodSirius!’

The usually articulate Remus’ almost unintelligible whisper made Sirius moan anew and the dark haired boy arched up again. This time, Remus was ready and met his insistent thrust with one of his own. Breathing so fast that his chest hurt, Remus gave one more lunge before he realised that he was too close, that this was going to go too far and he wrenched himself out of Sirius’ desperate embrace, sitting up on the end of the bed with his face in his hands.

Their tortured breathing was the only sound for almost a minute then the bed shifted and Remus felt the heat from Sirius’ body searing his skin.

‘Moony? Too much?’

‘Yeah, I…I’m too…’

He couldn’t say it; couldn’t let his friend, his best friend, know how much he turned him on. But then…

‘Me too.‘

Sirius' whisper nearly undid Remus. A little whimper rent the air and Remus was surprised to realise the desperate sound had come from his own lips.

‘Remus…’

A hand on the werewolf’s thigh made him jump, the muscle tightening and Remus flinched as heart crawled up his leg.

‘Don’t touch me.’

The order sounded harsh in the darkness, but Remus was scared of what he’d do if Sirius didn’t stop touching him, if he moved his hand higher …shit!… just like he was doing now. Remus gripped the wandering hand tight, holding it still.

‘Please, Padfoot? Please, don’t. We can’t.’

Sirius’ breath was teasing his sweat-slicked skin, making Remus shiver then he moaned as hot lips ghosted across his. He was panting as he gasped his last, weak objection out.

‘We shouldn’t be doing this.’

Sirius muttered an agreement, but didn't lift his lips from Remus' as he spoke.

‘It’s wrong. Shouldn’t want to do this; shouldn’t want to touch you like that but I do, Remus.'

He slipped a hand around the werewolf's neck, tangling his fingers in the sandy-brown hair there.

'I do.’

There was one moment; one opportunity to stop, to pull back, but the chance passed them by as Sirius’ hand brushed over Remus’ pulsing cock and the werewolf yelped as raw lust slammed into him. He shoved the other boy down onto the bed and climbed swiftly on top of him.

Their limbs tangled as they snogged...and snogged was the right word because this wasn't kissing. This wasn't what they did with girls. This was fervent, messy, needy snogging as pure, unadulterated need took them over, blurring their minds and removing their last remaining doubts and inhibitions. They rutted like animals, pounding their groins into each other without any style or finesse and, in less than a minute, they were tumbling over the edge.

Breathing ceased and time stopped as Remus felt the explosion deep inside, his mouth open in a silent scream as the friction of his cock against Sirius’ bought him to a shuddering, whole-body orgasm the likes of which he'd never felt before. Every nerve, every cell sang with pleasure and his toes curled as a tiny whimper escaped his tight throat.

Sirius was right with him, Remus feeling the other boy's body tense before a loud, strangled moan rent the air. Warmth spread over Remus' belly and the werewolf's own spent cock pulsed one final time as he felt the sticky heat. Sirius' fingers dug bruisingly into Remus’ buttocks, holding the other boy's hips tight against him as he jerked spasmodically under him.

Their bodies relaxed and Remus leaned heavily into Sirius for several long seconds, focusing on the uneven rise and fall of their chests so he didn't have to think about what had just happened. Sirius shifted under him, and Remus sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and grimacing at the rapidly cooling stickiness spread over the front of his boxers. He felt inexplicably close to tears and, embarrassed at his frustratingly girly display of emotion, he hid his face in his hands. It was unnecessary; Sirius couldn’t see his expression in the dark, but his tension was palpable and the dark-haired boy sat up, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder.

‘We haven’t done anything wrong, Moony.’

‘I know.’

His voice was rough and raw and shaking and he hated that he sounded so frightened although when Sirius spoke again, his voice was equally as unsteady.

‘I should go, shouldn’t I?’

Remus nodded, mumbling an affirmative, and felt Sirius slide off the bed. The curtains parted and a sliver of light cut through the darkness. Sirius stopped and Remus looked up as the other boy whispered...

‘We’ll talk tomorrow?’

‘I think we’d better,' Remus said softly and there was a pause, the silence filled with everything they wanted to say, to ask, but couldn’t. Sirius turned away.

‘Night, Moony.’

‘Night, Padfoot.’

~*~*~

Remus was gone the next morning when Sirius rolled over in bed; his dry, itchy, sleep deprived eyes hurting as they scoured the room for the other boy. He sighed when it was clear the fastidious werewolf had left early, the events of last night clearly not rattling him so much that he’d neglected his usual efforts at tidying up. Sirius saw the pile of clothes at the end of his bed and knew they’d been on the floor between his and Remus’ beds last night.

‘It’s unnatural.’

James looked over at him, fastening the buttons on his shirt.

‘What’s unnatural?’

‘Remus.’

James grinned, eyes finding the mountain of clothes on Sirius’ mattress, and he teased meaningfully, 'He only does that with your stuff, you know.'

'That's because I'm messier than the rest of you,' Sirius snapped back, unable to hide his irritation at the innuendo in James' voice.

I can't handle shagging jokes this morning.

James didn't seem to get the unspoken message and smirked. 'And Remus is completely anal...as you no doubt are aware.'

Sirius growled in his throat and James laughed, shaking his head. 'You are such an odd couple.’

Sirius frowned and swung his legs over the side of the bed, pushing himself into a sitting position with a loud, drawn out groan.

‘We are not a couple.’

‘You act like you are.’

Sirius made a dismissive noise and James stared at the other boy thoughtfully, the suspicions that had been buzzing like an annoying gnat around his mind for the last month again pushing themselves forward. He decided to test his theory.

‘You know, Moony can be a bit effeminate and he hasn’t had a girlfriend in ages. You don’t think he’s…’

‘No!’

James looked surprised by Sirius’ vehemence and held up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

‘Hey, I come in peace! Just wondering, that’s all. Wouldn’t surprise me if you two were secretly poofs. You’re too close by half.’

Sirius tried to look affronted, quite difficult when panic was rushing through his veins as fast as river rapids.

‘I’ve fucked half the girls in our year…why the hell would you think I was a shirt lifter?’

James grinned and jabbed his index finger at him.

‘You, my friend, are indiscriminate. I wouldn’t think it would bother you if your dick was in a girl or boy as long as they were doing the job properly.’

Sirius grunted and stood up, snatching up his shower kit violently and stomping off towards the bathroom.

‘You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Prongs. I’m going to have a shower.’

James watched him go - still as unsure as ever about the path his mind was taking. He shook his head and again forced the niggling worry to the back of his brain, focusing instead on making himself look suitably hot for the delectable Lily Evans.

~*~*~

Sirius yawned widely as he stripped and got into the shower, his befuddled mind drifting to the events of the previous night. His grey eyes closed tight and he leaned his head against the cool tile.

I’m not gay. It’s like Peter said - it’s normal to experiment.

His body hardened in response to the memory of Remus’ cock rubbing over his through their boxers. He’d felt Remus’ orgasm, felt the werewolf tremble and the hitch of his breath as warmth spread over Sirius’ stomach and his own body’s response had been immediate and visceral. Sticking his head under the stream of water, he groaned as blood rushed to his groin. He’d never been that turned on before, that out of control. How could another bloke make him so frantic and desperate?

Unable to sleep, he'd had a lot of time to think about the wisdom of what he was considering undertaking. He and Remus were so close - they shared almost everything - why couldn’t they share this too? It wasn’t totally abnormal, after all. Ken Lindsay and Jonathon Markham both had girlfriends but were caught with their hands down each other‘s pants. It was alright if he and Remus did the same, wasn’t it? They both wanted it…

Badly.

‘Merlin’s hairy balls…’

His cock was throbbing now, the vein on the underside pulsing with every rapid beat of his heart. Wrapping his hand around the smooth shaft, he pumped for a very short time before the tight coil of tension inside him broke and he came with a moan; once again, with Remus on his mind.

~*~*~

Remus propped his unusually heavy head on his hand, trying to stay awake. He yawned widely then sighed. There had only been a few early-birds at breakfast when he first came down this morning, but the Great Hall was filling up now. He poked at his food without any appetite, then let his fork clatter onto the table. He couldn’t turn off his head. Even bereft of sleep, his mind was active - still spinning dizzily as he replayed what had happened last night over and over.

We…fooled around. No, we did more than fool around - Sirius and I came all over each other.

And it had been good.

Really good.

He kept thinking about Sirius’ parting words:

‘We haven’t done anything wrong.’

They hadn’t. Shagging other guys; there was nothing wrong with it. Remus didn’t really care who other people slept with - he was a werewolf, for Merlin’s sake! It’s not like he could be judgemental. But he’d always liked girls. Apart from just that once when he noticed Stephen Clark’s surprisingly full lips, he had never thought about another boy that way. Until this thing with Sirius, he had never doubted his sexuality; never once thought he could possibly be gay.

Obviously I was very fucking wrong. It seems there’s a damn good chance I could be a ponce.

‘Hello, Mother Moony! You’re up early on this fine day.’

Remus looked up and smiled tiredly at James and Peter. His eyes automatically did a quick sweep of the room but Sirius was nowhere in sight.

‘Your better half is still showering.’ James grinned at him slyly. ‘Soaking his arse after the pounding you gave it last night.’

Remus flushed a bit and kicked James under the table. He knew the other boy was kidding, but his words were hitting a nerve that was too close to the surface. To cover his unease, he fell back into their usual jokey banter.

‘Even though I can see you’re salivating for all the dirty details, I don’t have the energy to brag about my conquests, Prongs. I’m buggered.’

Peter chuckled and James quickly quipped, ‘And here I thought you’d be the top, Moony.’

Before Remus could respond, a voice retorted, ‘Like I’d ever be a bottom, Jimmy-me-lad.’

Remus turned around so fast he cricked his neck and cried out in pain. Sirius winced.

‘Humping Hippogriffs! Are you alright, Moony?’

Remus rubbed at his neck and rolled his head experimentally. ‘Yeah.’

His eyes met Sirius’ and the ebony haired boy smiled. ‘I know you look forward to seeing me, Moony, but you don’t have to break your neck.’

Remus was surprised that Sirius seemed so…normal after last night, but decided to follow his lead.

‘I was actually looking at the fine bird behind you, Padfoot, but your swollen ego got in my way.’

Sirius snorted and sat down next to him, reaching for the bacon. ‘I’m prettier than any bird in this school, mate. No overlooking me.’

Remus and the others laughed and the werewolf felt cheerful enough to cast a heating spell on his now cold food and shove some into his mouth. James started asking for advice once again about his date with Lily, this time checking with Sirius about what shirt he should wear.

‘Personally, I think Lily would appreciate the ‘Bikini Inspector’ shirt Moony got you last Christmas.’

James spluttered and moaned that no one was taking this seriously. Peter laughed, spitting egg everywhere and Remus grinned, the smile fading slightly when a smirking Sirius surreptitiously put his hand on his knee and squeezed lightly. His thigh muscle jumped as he tensed and he glanced over at Sirius, who removed his hand as he caught the werewolf’s eye and gave him another, now more tentative, smile.

‘Alright, Moony?’

His voice was hushed but Remus caught the underlying concern.

‘Yeah. You?’

‘Yeah.’

They looked across the table simultaneously, seeing James trying to get Lily’s attention while Wormtail tried to smother his giggles. Sirius shifted, the boys' thighs now pressing together, and he spoke sotto voce.

‘How...how do you feel?’

Remus answered honestly and just as softly. ‘Weird.’

‘Yeah, me too. Not bad though.’

There was a pause then Remus gave a one shoulder shrug.

‘Me either.’

Throughout their stilted conversation, they had both kept their eyes focused on their breakfast plates, but now they chanced a quick look at each other, their gazes meeting before they hastily lowered their eyes again.

‘We should talk after classes, I guess.’

‘Full moon tonight, Pads.’

‘Shit. Sorry, it slipped my mind.’

Remus checked to make sure James and Peter were still occupied then leaned a little closer to Sirius.

‘Maybe you shouldn’t come tonight.’

Sirius frowned, his face showing his hurt at Remus’ suggestion. ‘You don’t want me there?’

‘I don’t want to hurt you again. After last night…it might not be a good idea.’

‘Are you angry with me?’

Remus sighed and shook his head, exasperated with the whole situation.

‘No, Sirius. It’s nothing to do with being angry at you. It’s a… bloody hell …I think it’s a mating thing, alright?’

Sirius was silent and Remus suddenly recalled another significant pause in a conversation from last full moon…

“Once I submitted, you started… playing again.”

‘You knew, didn’t you?' he hissed. 'That Moony was trying to… Gods! Why didn’t you tell me, Sirius?’

His temper was starting to flare and he made an effort to calm down when he realised how loud his voice was getting. Sirius' brow furrowed and his voice was low and urgent as he spoke.

‘Because I didn’t know for sure and I didn’t want to upset you. Remus, James can control the wolf, you know that. It will be fine. I won’t stay behind - Moony loves playing with Padfoot; he’ll be bored without me there. We can worry about the other stuff later.’

Remus knew Sirius was right - the canines spent all night frolicking together. Without Sirius, Remus’ wolf would tear himself apart.

When did the wolf and I become so damn reliant on Sirius?

A loud, raucous laugh distracted them and they looked up to see Lily Evans’ smug smirk and James’ hair which was now every colour of the rainbow. Neither boy could help their chuckle and with the laughter, the tension between them lightened somewhat.

Sirius turned back to Remus first. ‘I trust you, Moony. I know you won’t hurt me. Please let me come?’

Remus looked at him and nodded. Sirius smiled and leaned a little closer, his breath warm on Remus’ cheek, making the werewolf close his eyes for a moment as need swirled low in his stomach.

‘I don’t regret it, Remus. I might not understand what‘s going on, but I don’t regret it.’

The whispered words and unwavering gaze sent Remus’ stomach into a flurry of somersaults and he swallowed hard before he answered roughly:

‘Neither do I.’

TBC...