At Your Doorstep

Chapter 9: Remembering

Draco sighed wearily as he Apparated into the living room. He curled one finger into the knot of his scarf and loosened it. It was nearing the end of November which meant that winter had just arrived. Draco shook his head when he remembered what Harry was wearing earlier this morning.

“Stupid Gryffindor… He’ll catch a cold before he knows it.” Draco muttered as he made his way to Harry’s bedroom.

As he stood by the doorway, Draco watched as his lover carefully used a wet washcloth and bathed Harry’s forehead. The man in question was on the bed, lying perfectly still. Harry was still out cold. Draco heard Severus sigh softly and with one last wipe, the ex Potions Master placed the washcloth on the night stand next to Harry’s bed. Draco stepped inside and padded across the room, standing next to Severus in silence.

“He’s alright, a bit drained, but he’s fine,” Severus murmured without looking at the blond standing beside him. “Harry was afraid of this.”

“Can we do anything?” Draco asked; Severus shook his head and looked up into Draco’s grey eyes.

“Unless we can find a way to get rid of the Dark Lord’s magical core without damaging Harry’s, then no, we can’t.” Severus turned away and placed a hand on top of Harry’s lax one. “Even if we did find a way, it’ll be risky and extremely so.”

“So I’ve heard…” Draco said, his eyes scanning Harry’s body. “He’s been though so much already Severus. I…”

“I know you want to help him Draco,” Severus said softly, “But this is no laughing matter. For now, there’s nothing we can do.”

Draco scowled but nodded nonetheless. He sat down on the edge of the bed by Harry’s feet.

“Do you know what caused the sudden outburst?” Draco queried; Snape shook his head in the negative.

“It was sudden… the things around the shop just started shaking.” Severus paused and leaned back in the chair he was sitting on. He tilted his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose, a sign of frustration. “Harry told me, and you might’ve heard it, that he could feel Vol-Voldemort’s power taking over. Slowly, but surely, he said.” Severus dropped his hands to the side and continued to stare up at the ceiling. “It could be the tiniest thing that could’ve caused Harry to lose his control on it.”

“Then maybe we should keep him calm, don’t anger him and things like that,” Draco suggested; he had his hand on Harry’s shin and was rubbing it through the blanket. The blond frowned and then suddenly, he stopped massaging Harry’s leg; his eyes widened and grabbed Severus’ arm. “Maybe Harry was mad about me ruining his pie!”

Severus arched his eyebrow and smirked, “Draco, I don’t think Potter lost control of his powers just because his pie was ruined.”

Draco turned his nose into the air and sniffed, “Well, he was pretty upset when he found his pie all smashed up. You know how Harry is; he was hungry.”

“I still don’t believe it was because of that.” Severus said, “It had to be something else.”

Draco shrugged, “I was just suggesting,” He looked at Harry’s face, which was somewhat tensed. “I’ll stay here and watch him. Severus, maybe you can fix him some food and when he wakes up Harry will be more than happy to eat them all. His stomach has no bounds.” Draco smiled as he said that.

“Very well, you stay here and watch him. Any signs of trouble Draco, you’re going to call for me alright?” Severus said firmly, vacating the chair. Seeing that the blond had listened to him, Severus walked out of the bedroom.

HPDMSS

Where had I seen that before? That green pendant… It seemed so familiar. Where did I see it?

Where…

What’s going on? It’s so dark…

Draco… Severus…

Where am I now? Don’t leave me here… I’m all alone… alone… I can’t open my eyes. I feel so tired, so tired.

Whispers. I can hear whispers… Somebody’s here…

Don’t leave me…

HPDMSS

Harry groaned softly as he tried to open his eyes but his eyelids felt so heavy. He scrunched up his face and forced them open. The first thing Harry saw was blurry grey blobs and a fuzzy patch of gold. They were familiar blurry grey blobs.

“Draco?” Harry croaked and he squint his eyes to make his vision clearer. The grey blobs became sharper and they blinked.

Draco smiled and gave Harry his glasses. The brunet put them on and sat up slowly with the help of Draco supporting his back.

“How long have I been out?” Harry asked, rubbing his forehead.

“A couple of hours,” Draco answered, “Sit here and don’t move. I’ll go get Severus.” Draco stood up from the chair when Harry reached out and grabbed him.

“Can… Can you bring me a glass of water? My throat feels scratchy.” Harry said; he looked up at the blond sheepishly.

“Sure, I’ll be right back.”

A few minutes later, both Severus and Draco came back to Harry’s room. Draco holding a glass of water with a clear straw in it; Severus wore a frown and was taking long strides towards Harry’s bed. Draco walked around the chair, in which Severus had occupied, and handed the glass of water to Harry. The brunet gratefully accepted and drank a couple of sips to sooth his parched throat.

“Thanks…” Harry said, swallowing the dryness away.

“How are you feeling Harry?” Draco asked as he placed the glass on the night stand.

“A small headache and I feel kind of weak…” Harry murmured, “What happened to me?”

“Don’t you remember?” Severus spoke up; his dark eyes stared at Harry intently. “Don’t you remember what happened before you…”

“I-I… Not really.” Harry lied; he shifted his eyes and was now looking at the ground.

Of course Harry remembered. He saw Draco and Severus kissed. It was a silly thing to lose control over, but that’s what happened. Harry remembered the jealousy, the envy, the anger that swirled around him. He had felt the pulse of power building up inside his body. It was as if he was an inflating balloon on the verge of popping. The uncontrollable powers had swelled up within his body; Harry tried, oh did he tried, to hold it in. But as soon he felt it slowly leaked out, he knew it was a lost cause. After that… Harry remembered the flash of vision before he blanked out and then, he woke up in his bed.

“So you have no idea what caused you to go ballistic?” Draco asked; Harry pursed his lips and shook his head.

“No.” Harry stated firmly. “But…I uhm…”

“But you what?” Severus pressed, “Spit it out Harry. Don’t keep anything in.”

Harry huffed and began pulling at his blanket, “Well… uh I saw something before I totally blacked out.”

Both Draco and Severus stayed quiet and waited for the brunet to go on. Harry swallowed and was just reaching for the glass of water when Draco handed it to him.

“Thanks…” Harry muttered and took a sip from the straw, “There was this… pendant; it was hanging around my captor’s neck. It was green and shaped like a teardrop…” Harry tilted his head to the side, hands cradling the glass of water. “I-I’ve seen it before, as in before I was captured. I don’t know where, but it seemed familiar to me.” Harry then looked up, his green eyes bore into Severus. “Do either of you know anyone who has such a pendant around their neck?”

“I can’t say I have Harry,” Severus murmured; Draco shook his head in the negative to Harry’s question.

“Are you sure your captor was a man Harry?” Draco asked, “I can’t really imagine a guy wearing a green teardrop pendant.” Draco frowned then took the glass of water away from Harry before the brunet spilled anything. “Was there anything special about the pendant?”

Harry bit his bottom lip; his hands tightened around the blanket. He searched his brain. Anything that popped out, anything special. Harry found nothing. All he saw was green and a teardrop shaped pendant.

“No… Nothing.” Harry lowered his head; his temples were throbbing.

As Harry continued to sit there, head down, Severus was deep in thought. A green teardrop pendant. Severus furrowed his eyebrows; such a pendant seemed very common, especially when there weren’t any special markings on it. Just from Harry’s vague description, it sounded like anybody—-magical folks or Muggles-—can have something such as that. Snape had agreed—-mentally-—when Draco said he couldn’t see a man having such an adornment. It was too feminine. To Severus anyway.

“Harry, don’t push yourself too hard,” Snape said suddenly; Harry snapped his head up and looked at Severus with wide eyes. “It’s alright that you don’t remember much. Maybe more will come to you later on.”

“Yeah… Maybe.” Harry mumbled, “I-I’m not really thinking about it. It’s the best I can recall. A flash of green and that was it.” Harry turned his head and gave Draco and Severus a worried look. “Right now, my main concern is the fact my control is waning. Before I know it, I’ll hurt either of you or maybe both!” Harry’s hand flew to his mop of hair where he tugged, hard.

Draco looked down at his lover and was met with Severus’ onyx eyes. Draco frowned with concern and Severus shook his head, taking Draco’s hand and held it. Draco understood the look; Severus didn’t want him to say anything about Harry’s lost of control. It wasn’t the best of times.

“I’m like this freakin’ ticking time bomb!” Harry babbled on, “One wrong move and… and I’ll explode.”

Severus let go of the blonde’s hand and placed one flat palm on Harry’s knee.

“Harry, you won’t ‘explode’…”

“How do you know?!” Harry cut off, “How do you know Severus…” Harry closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead.

“Look, let’s just stop thinking about it.” Severus said evenly, “Stop getting yourself so worked up. Are you sure you don’t remember why you lost control?” Severus asked; he felt, deep down, Harry was lying to them.

“I-I’m sure.”

“Very well,” Severus stood up, “If that’s how you want it, so be it.”

With the swirling of robes, Severus strode out, leaving Draco watching his lover walk out.

“You pissed him off Harry,” Draco sighed, “He could tell you’re keeping something from him.”

“I kept nothing. Snape’s just being paranoid.” Harry muttered; he watched Draco sit on the edge of his bed in the corner of his eyes. “Maybe you should go see what he’s up to.”

“Nah,” Draco flapped his hand at Harry’s face, “Anyway, are you hungry?”

Harry chuckled at the sudden question, “You’re just trying to change the topic, but yes, I’m a bit hungry.”

“I’m not trying to change any topics, Potter.” Draco sniffed, “And you’re hungry. That’s good; Severus made you something.” Draco then snapped his fingers. A white light appeared on Harry’s knees and when it was gone, a tray was in its place.

“Oh! Grilled cheese sandwiches!” Harry said happily; he picked up a half of a sandwich and bit into it. “I just love these…” Harry said, his eyes fluttering close in pure contentment.

“Any types of food makes you happy,” Draco smirked, “Don’t eat too fast or you might choke on them.”

Harry scowled but he did slow down a bit. With the sandwiches, there was also a cup of warm tea. Harry picked it up and drank. Licking his lips, Harry took another bite of the sandwich half. He was happily chewing when Draco spoke.

“So what are you hiding?”

Harry paused in mid-chew and slowly placed his half eaten sandwich back on the plate.

“I swear I wasn’t Draco,” Harry said tiredly then swallowing his bite of sandwich, “Stop asking; my answer would be the same for you and for Severus.”

Draco narrowed his steel-grey eyes. He knew the brunet was hiding something but he would let that drop for now. Draco could see the weariness on Harry’s face, the shadows under his green eyes. They were a dull green now, not the usual bright emerald.

“I see,” Draco said softly, “Just so you know, Severus and I want to help you. If you continue to hide things from us, it makes things difficult. For all of us. You’re suffering Harry; we know it, you know it.”

Harry opened his mouth to deny the things Draco said but the blond held up his hand in front of Harry’s face, stopping any words that were about to tumble out from Harry’s lips.

“Don’t say otherwise Harry. We really do want to help you.” Draco lowered his hand and smiled thinly, “But we can’t if you keep doing this.”

Draco picked up the tray on Harry’s knees and stood up from the bed. Harry didn’t care; he wasn’t so hungry anymore.

“Think about what I said. You rest now,” Draco whispered; he turned around and left the room.

Harry sighed loudly and ran his fingers though his dark tresses. It wasn’t that he was trying to be difficult. But what would Severus and Draco say if Harry told them that the thing that caused his loss of control was a mere kiss?!

‘They would probably laugh at you.’ Harry chided to himself. He shook his head and laughed bitterly.

“Harry Potter, you’re in deep shit.”

HPDMSS

Harry was munching on a chocolate chip cookie—-he found a small box of it in the far back of the pantry—-as he flipped through the book Draco gave him on all the floras. At this particular moment, there was a picture of a Flame Lily on the left side of the book; on the right side was the description of the flower. Harry popped the last bit of cookie in his mouth and clapped his hands together to get rid of the crumbs. He traced the outline of the fiery looking flower with his forefinger. The flower was rightly named as the petals looked exactly like a billowing flame.

“A flame lily…” Harry murmured, “Such a beautiful flower…”

Lily. Harry’s mother’s name. The green eyed man frowned at the sudden thought of his mother. Harry turned his eyes onto the picture again; the redness of the petals seemed to be calling out to him, beckoning him. Harry blinked; for a moment, Harry thought he saw the flower petals moved.

‘I must be very tired.’

Harry shook his head and leaned back against the sofa. He closed the book and pushed it off his lap. Severus and Draco were in the greenhouse again and this time Harry didn’t feel like going outside with them.

He just wanted to be alone.

With a small sigh, Harry relaxed and drifted off to the world of darkness…

HPDMSS

“Nobody can save you Potter…” The man spat; he gripped Harry’s chin with his hand. “You’re all alone.”

‘I’m alone… he’s right…’

-flash-

Draco and Severus… kissing. They love each other. They’re so very much in love.

Stop. Stop. Stop! Stop doing this to me…

Nobody loves me… They don’t care… they don’t care about me.

-flash-

“Nobody can help you now!” Harry’s captor laughed bitterly, “You’ll stay here and rot unless you give the power to me!”

“Never…” Harry gasped; his chest was filled with pain. “I’ll never… Just let me rot then.”

-flash-

Anger, jealousy, envy.

They’re showing their affections in front of me. I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it.

Why does this happen? Why am I always alone, with nobody beside me?

… Why?

HPDMSS

Harry snapped his eyes open and gasp; his chest was heaving, his breath came in short pants. Harry let out a small whimper and let his body fall sideways until his head hit the armrest of the sofa he was sitting on. His stomach was churning; Harry could feel somewhere deep inside him, a pulsing heat. The green eyed man gritted his teeth and breathed heavily through his nostrils; his forehead was covered with beads of perspiration, his eyes were now closed in concentration.

‘Not now.’

Harry sucked in a deep breath and felt the pulsing heat slowly disappearing. The foreign power became dormant once more.

“I’m tired… I can’t do this anymore.”

HPDMSS