Strength in What Remains Behind

Hermione

It was the night of the ball at last. Ginny and I had agreed to meet the boys in the common room. We were going to go to the dance as a group. I sat, twisting my hands in my lap as Ginny finished up with my hair. I was nervous, though I had no real reason to be. She patted me on the shoulder when she was done and told me I was pretty tonight. I glanced in the mirror to see, and I had to admit that she had down my hair up quite flatteringly, somehow managing to convince its normal frizz to settle down into a nice curl, an effect I was sure wouldn't last beyond my head hitting the pillow later this evening.

We headed down into the common room to find the boys ready and waiting for us. Ron exclaimed over my appearance and grouched about Ginny's, to my consternation and amusement. Ginny merely rolled her eyes and ignored him. For his part, Harry gallantly announced he was honored to escort to the two most beautiful women in school to the dance, though the effect was somewhat marred by the blush that crept up his cheeks as he said this. I felt a pang, and Ginny and I shared a glance. Did he have feelings for one of us, or was he merely embarrassed by his gallantry? If it was one of us, it had to be Ginny. The alternative was unthinkable. My heart beat a little harder in my chest as I began to hope despite myself.

Ron insisted on leading me into the dance, saying that he wouldn't be caught dead looking as if his own sister was his date. Ginny gave me an apologetic smile as she took Harry's arm. I watched his face as she did so, but saw no sign that it effected him in any way. I couldn't decide if that was good or bad, given the circumstances. If Harry did have feelings for Ginny, it would make things less complicated for me, though probably harder, since I was close to her. At least I knew she was with another man; it helped me to reconcile with the idea.

Because I did not want to dance with Ron, I could not dance with Harry either, so I sought out parters among my other classmates. I danced with a few members of the other houses (though none of them were Slytherin) and even with Neville, who was adorable as he blushed and told me I was looking quite pretty today. He was far from the most graceful partner I had that evening, but he was more open-hearted and sincere in his conversation than any one of them. He would make a girl happy someday, I was sure of it.

Ginny went off into the crowd on her own, undoubtedly seeking out Draco. Ron was pulled protesting onto the dance floor by Luna, which I tried not to laugh about. I glanced over at Harry and realized we were alone. I can't say why I mentioned feeling a bit crowded and wanting to go for a walk, but it hardly mattered, because Harry agreed.

We left the dance and walked in silence, next to each other, not touching. My heart pounded so hard I thought it was going to burst from my chest. Why had he agreed to walk with me? Out of friendship, or something more? Why was I pushing the matter when I had no intention of being in a romantic relationship with him? I was so distracted I managed to step on the hem of my robes, and I stumbled. Harry grabbed me around the waist to stop me from falling, which caused goosebumps to break all down my back. I thanked him and we went on... though he did not remove his arm from around my waist.

I was afraid and excited at the same time. I didn't know what anything meant anymore. I was confused by my own emotions and the situation I found myself in. The silence no longer felt comfortable. There was a great tension between us and I was sure I would faint if it kept on much longer. That's when I saw the mistletoe hanging over the archway between the corridor we were walking in and the much larger hall beyond. I laughed, partly out of nervousness, and pointed it out to him as we passed under it. Harry stopped, and so did I. He looked out into the hall, and then at me. I tilted my chin upward and closed my eyes.

The kiss was breathtaking. His lips were warm where they softly touched mine. It was my first, but I felt no awkwardness; Harry would never ridicule me. I wished it could last forever, but when Harry tried to deepen the kiss, I broke it off, gently pushing him away from me. I looked away from the hurt in his face and told him that we could not be anything more to each other, that I would never do this to Ron. He demanded to know if we were supposed to give up any chance of happiness together on the off chance that we would hurt our friendship with Ron, and I flinched away from the anger in his voice. I told him in a quiet voice that we were already happy together, as friends. All three of us. He did not choose to reply.

The first silent tear slipped down my cheek as he walked away from me.