How to Save a Life

Cold grey eyes stared unseeing out into the passing country side. Draco absentmindedly ran his fingers through the long dark hair on Pansy’s head, which was currently nestled in his lap. The compartment was silent; two hours into the journey and the five companions had barely uttered a word to each other. All of them lost to their own private thoughts and fears.

Draco had felt so confident the night before; surrounded by his friends and emboldened by fire whiskey, but the cold reality had been something different. He had told himself he was prepared, that he didn’t care what people said but he could have kicked himself for being so naive.

From the minute he had led his friends on to Platform 9 ¾ he knew he had made a mistake. The platform had been crowded, more so than usual, and nearly every person on it had turned to stare at them. It wasn’t so much the insults that were thrown; it was the looks in people’s eyes, the cold fury and hatred that put fear into Draco’s soul.

Despite this; they had kept their heads held high, their masks of indifference in place as their only defence from the hostile crowd. Even when a small boy had darted forward and spat in their direction they had continued onto the train as if nothing had happened.

Draco had spotted Potter in the crowd and was inexplicably relieved to see that his eyes were void of animosity, his expression neutral. Unlike the Weasel who was practically salivating like a rabid dog, his face red, his anger palpable. His eyes had locked with Potter’s for a brief moment and he was amazed to see the dark haired boy incline his head to him slightly. Draco had looked away quickly for fear of betraying himself.

Feeling Pansy shift in his lap, he lowered his eyes to look at her. She smiled up at him and reached a hand to brush his blond hair from his face.

“It will be ok Drakie” she whispered.

His eyes fixed on hers, his face betraying no emotion.

“How do you know that?” he asked, trying hard to keep a sneer from his voice

“Because you said so” she replied simply.

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Further down the train a pair of green eyes were also fixed on the window seeing none of the countryside that passed by.

Harry was having a bad day; it had started out shit and was just getting worse. Ginny had been the catalyst; she had been alternating between ignoring him and glaring at him since breakfast. The Weasleys had picked up on the tension and this had eventually led to a row between him and Ron, who had felt duty bound to take his sisters part.

Hermione had forced a truce between them but things were still a little raw. What had hurt Harry the most was Ron’s accusation that he thought himself too good for the Weasleys, now that he was the ‘Saviour of the Wizarding World.’ This was unfair and untrue but when Ron had an idea in his head, Harry knew there was no talking him round. It was like the incident with the Goblet of Fire all over again.

Ron and Hermione had gone off to do Head Boy & Girl stuff and left Harry behind. Not that Harry was bitter about that. Truth be told, McGonagall had originally offered the position to Harry but he had promptly declined. He just wanted to blend into the background this term – not draw extra attention to himself. He hoped with all his heart that Ron never found out about that though as it would be just more fuel for his steadily increasing jealousy of Harry.

Harry pulled his eyes away from the window and took in the other occupants of the compartment. His eyes fell on Neville who was sitting opposite him. Even after several hours in his company, Harry couldn’t help but still be amazed by the changes the past year had wrought in his once timid friend.

Neville had grown taller, he must be about 6 ft Harry thought, and he had lost weight too, leaving his body leaner almost athletic looking. His face was no longer round and though not good looking in a conventional way, there was something about him that would make you look twice.

Harry mentally slapped himself at this point in his thoughts – had he just been checking out Neville? Was this how it was going to be from now on? Only seeing his friends that way. But then he reminded himself that he had not once looked at Ron that way since he had had these feelings, so maybe it would be ok.

Neville caught Harry’s thoughtful gaze and smiled at him encouragingly.

People underestimated Neville Longbottom; they mistook his quiet and his nervousness for slow stupidity. But Neville wasn’t either, he just liked to watch – and not in the peeping tom sense. He just preferred to sit back and let others do the talking, while he would look, listen and see far more than anyone ever imagined themselves to be giving away.

Which was why, from the minute he had seen him on the platform, Neville had been watching Harry Potter with growing unease.

In his observations of his friend; Neville was more bothered about what he didn’t see, rather than what he did. Sure Harry walked and talked just like he always had, but the spark that had always made him stand out, had drawn people to him, was missing. His eyes, once bright and filled with life, were now cold and empty. Neville thought to himself that if eyes really were the window to ones soul, then Harry Potter must have been given a Dementors Kiss.

Harry was good though, Neville would give him that, he hid it extremely well. Although most people didn’t look that closely at Harry, they saw ‘The Chosen One’ not the boy. And those closer to Harry who did know better? Well, Neville suspected that they simply chose not to look too closely, scared of what they would find, of the damage their expectations had done to him.

Seamus was looking at Harry too; and not, Neville noticed, in a concerned way. It was an appraising look, his eyes trailing up and down the dark haired boy’s body. Last year at school, Neville and Seamus had been the only two 7th year Gryffindors left. Alone in a dark dormitory, the two boys had got to know each other a little better than friends usually do. Neville liked Seamus but he also knew what he was and this was why Neville felt very protective of Harry after seeing the Irish boy leer at him. Seamus liked boys, hell, he liked girls too. Quite simply put – Seamus was a slut!

Dean was in the corner with Luna firmly in place on his lap. Their heads buried behind a copy of The Quibbler, whispering and laughing softly. Harry felt a pang as he saw their interlinked hands and the way Dean’s other hand rested so comfortably on Luna’s thigh. Not because he thought about Luna like that, or Dean for that matter. But just because they were so at ease with each other and no one gave them a second look, cuddled up as they were. But how could Harry ever have that, how could he ever sit there curled up in another mans lap, holding hands and sharing soft gentle touches. Because even if he could get his head round his own sexuality, he just knew no one else would.

Unable to take it any longer, Harry stood abruptly and walked out of the compartment muttering something about ‘going for a walk’.

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As Harry neared the end of the carriage he heard raised voices, well one voice to be precise and a familiar one at that. As he entered the passageway into the next carriage, he found an angry Ginny Weasley pinning a terrified looking Pansy Parkinson up against the wall.

“Don’t think for a minute any of us have forgotten what you are, or what you did last year. You should have stayed in St Mungos – you’re not wanted here. And if you won’t leave then we will have to make you!”

Pansy, Harry noticed, seemed to shrink smaller at Ginny’s words. She made no effort to fight back; physically or verbally, she just stood shaking, her eyes wide with fear.

Then Harry noticed that Ginny had reached for her wand.

“Ginny! No!” he shouted in shock.

Ginny span round at this interruption, letting go of her prey in her surprise.

“Go away Harry, this is nothing to do with you.”

Harry came closer and placed what he hoped was a calming hand on her shoulder.

“You need to calm down before you do something you’ll regret.”

Ginny gave a hard laugh at this,

“Regret? You think I would regret hexing this piece of trash? I’ve thought about little else for the last 4 months. You don’t know what she did last year, you weren’t there. She's Death Eater scum!”

This last she spat at Pansy who, despite being released, was still pressed up against the wall shaking in fear.

“You're right, I don’t know what she did Gin, but I know this is wrong. This isn’t you.”

“How can you defend her Harry? You heard her in the Great Hall, she wanted to turn you over to Voldemort! When did you start consorting with the enemy?”

Harry felt something like disgust build inside him as he looked at Ginny’s face, red with rage, and her mouth twisted with spite. And in that moment, Harry realised he didn’t know the girl at all, or at least he didn’t know the girl she had become. Unable to look at her any longer, he turned his attention to the other girl.

He watched as Pansy slid down the wall to the ground, where she curled in on herself, shaking. Crouching down at her side, he reached out a tentative hand. She flinched at first as his hand settled on her shoulder and Harry heard a slight whimper.

“This isn’t over Parkinson” Ginny hissed, before storming off in a towering rage.

Harry focussed on the shaking girl in front of him.

“Are you ok?” he asked softly.

“Sorry, that was a really dumb question. Look, how about I help you stand up and then I’ll walk you back to your compartment?”

Pansy raised blue eyes to start into his green ones
“I’m sorry” she whispered.

“What for?”Harry asked, confused.

“For what I said that night, about handing you over to him.”

Harry shrugged
“It doesn’t matter, not anymore. He’s dead, the war is over and I refuse to allow my life to be affected by it anymore than I can help. Now come on, let’s get you back to your friends.”

Harry stood up at this and held out his hand to her.

Pansy looked up at him, eyes wide with shock and wonder.

“Why are you being so nice to me?”

“Because you’re letting me” Harry answered with a small smile.

Pansy managed a tiny smile in return and taking hold of Harry’s hand, she allowed him to pull her to her feet. They walked together in silence down the train, both aware of the shocked looks that were sent in their direction.

As they neared the back of the train, a door burst open and a much panicked looking Draco Malfoy burst out. He took one look at Pansy’s red eyes and still shaking hands before pulling her into a tight hug.

“I’m going to kill you Pansy. I fucking told you about going off alone; you know it’s not safe. What happened to you? Who was it? – I’m going to fucking kill them!”

Pulling back from the embrace, Draco’s eyes widened in horror as he saw a dark messy haired, green eyed boy standing behind his friend.

“Pansy, what in the name of Merlin are you doing roaming around the train with Potter? Have you gone insane?”

“Its ok Draco, I just got into a bit of an argument and he helped me out.”

Harry shuffled uncomfortably and murmured
“I’d better be getting back.”

Before he could turn to leave, Pansy placed her hand on his arm and caught his gaze.

“Thank you Harry”

Harry nodded acknowledgement at her and walked back off down the train.

Pansy turned to Draco and smiled as she watched him stare in open mouth shock at the retreating boy. She placed her hand under his chin,

“Close your mouth Draco, You’re starting to drool!”

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