Troublesome

Wow, I'm overwhelmed with all of the responses I've received so far. Thanks for that :P. And here's another installment. It's kinda rocky and tumultuous, a far cry from what I usually write, but I'd thought it'd be a nice change of pace.


Severus kicked his desk in a violent fashion. One could surmise that he was extremely angry, and he was, though he wasn’t sure if it was because he was jealous or if it was just his every day run of the mill anger.

The anger had started when Evelyn had come to him, to ask him if he would cash a bank note at Gringotts for her under his name. She’d begged him and even threw in a few tears, claiming he was the only one she could trust and besides that, students weren’t allowed to leave school grounds. He’d agreed but he wanted to know where she got the note from and what it was for. When she told him exactly what happened, he yelled at her and kicked her out of his office.

Stupid girl, he thought, throwing her self at the mercy of a fucking Malfoy.

Severus had been acquainted with the Malfoy’s for a very long time and he shuddered to think what would happen if she’d some how made the youngest Malfoy angry.

He had half a mind to tear up the bank note and tell Evelyn everything. It wasn’t Draco’s job to support the little parasite that grew within Evelyn’s womb. That was his pride damn it, and he’d be damned if he let her indebt her self to the Malfoys. No, there was no way in hell he would do that.

In a fit of rage he tore the bank note to shreds, and it was satisfying and even calmed him some to watch them float quietly to the ground. He would make a trip to Gringotts, but not to withdraw any money from the Malfoy’s account. She’d get her money, from him, he’d give it to her from her own personal account, he owed her that much, but he wouldn’t tell her.

***
A few days later, Severus summoned Evelyn into his office, a bag of gold sitting on top of his desk. He could see the desperation in her eyes as she took it with out a word and began to count it right then and there, as if he would steal her fucking money. When she was certain that the correct amount was there, she looked up at him, her lips pursed.

“I’m not proud you know,” she said. “I just don’t feel like I have any choice. I have to make money some how. I’m not going home after I graduate, and I’m not even sure what I’m going to do once the baby is born. All of this –pardon the expression- shit seemed easier a few months ago, but now that it’s right around the corner I have no fucking idea what I’m supposed to do.”

Her tone was flat, he noticed, and he’d never seen any one more defeated in his life. All he could feel was guilty.

He’d done this to her.

It was his job to make sure that she was taken care of whether he liked it or not.

“Evelyn,” he choked. “I…I have to tell you something.”

He couldn’t live with himself a moment longer unless she knew the truth. But it was so hard to come out and tell her everything…there had to be another way.

His eyes spotted the Pensieve, sitting in a dark corner of the office. He stood and drained every single one of the memories of her from it, from the first moment she’d approached him and when he’d erased everything from that fragile brain of hers.

He beckoned her and she obeyed, looking confused.

“You have to see for your self,” he whispered. She stared at him and then at the Pensieve, her eyes filled with worry and question. But with out a word, she dove in. Severus could not follow in after her. He waited. It seemed like a life time before she finally emerged looking quite troubled.

“You…” she whispered her face white, her whole being shaken. “You’re the one?”

Severus nodded numbly, feeling just as shaken as she looked.

Evelyn sputtered a bit, shocked, but words failed her. She looked as though she might faint, and Severus carefully guided her to the chair. She stayed there for the longest time, just staring at her hands in numb shock. After about fifteen minutes she finally said, “What I saw has to be true. I…I’m sorry, Professor, I still don’t remember a thing.”

“That’s alright.”

“No, it’s not.” She looked up at him now, and she looked thoroughly angry. “You could have told me. You could have said something when I told you I was pregnant. Instead you left me there to wonder if I had been raped!”

“I didn’t know how you’d take it! I didn’t know if you’d go completely mad or if you’d tell some one! I have a lot at stake here; I couldn’t just up and admit what I did with out knowing how you’d react!”

“You should have stepped up to the plate like a real man! You’re a real fucking coward that’s what you are,” she shrieked right in his face. Before he could stop him self, his hand connected with the side of her cheek, making a hollow cracking sound. Her head snapped back with the force, but she quickly regained her composure and stumbled back away from him. The anger in her eyes was almost barbaric.

Oh fuck, she’s going to murder me, he thought as she began to circle him viciously, smiling evilly. Then she broke the circle and flipped the chair sitting in front of his desk violently. Then she cleared all of his knick knacks and papers off his desk. She dashed over to his shelf, grabbed anything she could get her hands on, books, occupied and empty jars alike and began to toss them at him. Her arms were a whirlwind, and if he wasn’t so worried that he was about to get hit in the fucking head by debris, he would have laughed. He closed his eyes and ducked, covering his head, hoping that what ever hit him would kill him. But then it stopped.

When he opened a wary eye, she was crumpled on the ground, tearing at her hair, screaming obscenities, but he wasn’t sure if she was directing them at herself or at him. He slowly stood as her screaming died down to sobs. He approached her as one would approach a wounded dragon, hoping her temper fit was over. He grabbed her by the shoulders and addressed her.

“Listen to me, girl, this is my problem too, and if you trust me, I’ll help you. Do you understand me?”

She nodded, but she still wouldn’t look at him directly. Her breathing was labored.

“Calm down, Evelyn. It’s not helping the situation to get yourself in a right state, do you hear me?” He shook her slightly and she nodded again. She took a deep shuddering breath, but the tears wouldn’t stop, but at least she wasn’t chucking anything at him anymore.

“I’m sorry, Professor,” she whispered and fell into his chest. She wrapped her arms around his torso, clinging to him as though he were a life line. This surprised him a bit, but he allowed it. He even began to stroke her hair as it seemed to be the appropriate thing to do.

The two stayed like this for hours, her crying into his chest, him rocking her. It wasn’t until Severus glanced at the clock that lay on the floor several feet away from his desk where it belonged, that he realized it was past midnight. He had to let her go. He tried to move, but her form was slumped against him, her extra weight pinning him down. He looked down and realized that she was fast asleep, her mouth slightly open, her breathing heavy. Her robes were pulled taut over her abdomen, and he couldn’t help him self upon seeing the swell there. He placed his hand on it, and to his surprise and delight, he felt something move. At first he thought it was his imagination, but he moved his fingers slightly to the left. It moved again, but this time it was more pronounced, and he was sure he hadn’t imagined it that time.

He couldn’t help it; he had to smile.

It was amazing to know that his child was alive. It sent an odd feeling of jubilation down his spine. The feeling was so foreign it sent made him shiver and goose bumps rose from his skin.

Then the girl groaned and shifted against him. He withdrew his hand quickly as her eyes fluttered open. The weight of the problem came crashing down on him as she sat up and looked around.

“You should probably get to bed,” he said.

“Yeah,” she muttered groggily and heavily stood up, making a face as she placed her hand on her back to support the extra weight.

“Come back tomorrow morning, I want to pay my mother a visit.”

His mother would fawn all over her even though he could not. It might do her some good to know that some one was happy for her.

She nodded again and grabbed the sack of gold from his desk, and left quietly.

***

Evelyn stared dully over the woman’s shoulders as the woman gave her a look over. Eileen wanted to make sure that the girl who was carrying her grandchild was in a fit state. An unhealthy baby just wouldn’t do.

She’d met the girl before, though the girl probably remembered nothing of it. Eileen had to admit that she wasn’t fond of the girl, but she was pretty enough to bare her grandchildren. The girl had a quiet way about her and this scared Eileen. The quiet ones you had to worry about for there was something unsettling about the way they always seemed to be lost in their own head. Eileen knew from experience that spending too much time with your thoughts and your thoughts alone was enough to drive you completely insane. There was nothing worse than the torment of your own thoughts.

She led the girl to the kitchen and Severus excused himself. He had to go to Diagon Alley to pick up a few things though he wouldn’t say what exactly. She had a faint feeling that he was going to go buy a few necessities for his unborn child.

It was apparent to Eileen at least, that Severus was already head over heels for that baby, the way he fawned all over the girl, making sure she was alright and always asking if she needed something.

Well, he needed a bit of happiness in his life. Eileen just hoped that this baby would be enough for now for she wouldn’t know what to do with oodles of grandbabies at once. She might die of happiness.

She almost wished he’d go on and marry the girl. It would have been a natural transition but some how Eileen knew that Evelyn probably wouldn’t go for that.

Of course she wouldn’t. She was young and probably wanted some one who was…well…her age and Severus just wasn’t spry enough. He’d be more like a father to her than anything and what kind of marriage would that be? She already had a father, she wouldn’t want another one.

Eileen observed Evelyn across the table. If Eileen could describe her as anything, it would be tired. The way Evelyn’s mouth was sunken into a frown and the way she was scowling, she almost looked sullen. Eileen knew better, however. The girl was just like her at that age. About to be a young mother unwillingly. Eileen had been forced to marry Severus’ father after a month of knowing him. Really, it had been mostly a physical attraction; neither she nor Tobias had anything to offer each other but that. And then lo and behold, Eileen turned up pregnant, and her parents had demanded they get married. So they did; up the pole and down the aisle.

But once Severus had been born, Eileen didn’t feel so unhappy anymore. Severus had brightened her world even when Tobias came home after a night of drinking and in a rage. The fights had been the worst, but with Severus there it was easier to take. There was never enough money, what with Tobias drinking it all away, and Eileen had been forced to take a job, though secretly. She needed to make enough to ensure that her boy would get into Hogwarts so that he could make enough money so he wouldn’t have to ever live like she had to live.

When he announced that he’d taken up the Potion’s position after the previous master had decided to step down, Eileen had never been more proud of her son. He’d done some not so noble things in his past, but she was able to overlook them all. She was still proud of him. Nothing would ever change that, not even knocking one of his students up. She just wanted him to be happy.

“Would you like some tea, dearie?” Eileen asked Evelyn, trying to sound sweet and not disapproving. Disapproval, Eileen knew, was not what the poor girl needed. She needed a few kind words and support.

“No, thank you,” Evelyn replied shortly and stared at the flowery wallpaper beyond Eileen.

“We need to talk, Evelyn. I know you don’t know me, but believe it or not, I know what you’re going through. I know that you need to talk to some one, even if it is just me. “

Evelyn remained quiet, her focus not changing.

Eileen sighed at the mute girl. Leave it to her son to find some one so difficult. Difficult she could deal with. She just needed to find a vulnerable spot to pierce through the girl’s exterior to get into that brain of hers. It just wasn’t healthy to remain so silent, letting things bottle up like that.

“Have you thought of any names?” Eileen asked, knowing that it was a subject that was sure to get the girl talking. Girls started naming the children before they even knew how life was created.

Evelyn shook her head and said, “No, I don’t even know the gender. It’d be a bit pointless to pick out names when I don’t even know what sex it’s going to be.”

“Well, what do you want it to be?” Evelyn shrugged at her.

“I don’t think it matters. I’m not in any position to be choosey, now am I?” Evelyn’s tone was almost annoyed, but Eileen let it fly past her, immune to her rudeness.

“I know Severus hopes it will be a girl. He’s an odd one, not in a bad way, but still peculiar.”

“So he does, does he?” Evelyn said, offhandedly. “I wouldn’t mind a girl too much. Girls are nice. You can dress them up but boys are fun as well.”

Eileen chuckled, relieved and proud that she’d managed to knock down the barriers, even if it was a brick at a time. “Yes, boys are fun, but I think Severus needs a little girl to dote on. If Severus had been a girl, my husband probably would have been a different man. Girls have that effect on their fathers.”

“Not mine,” Evelyn said, her eyes becoming strangely unfocused.

“Surely he did! I bet you were extremely adorable, what with your golden curls and doe eyes.”

“No, no,” Evelyn said, waving her hand in front of her as though she were shooing a bothersome fly away from her face. “He was a busy man. He didn’t have the time to fall head over heels.”

“I take it you haven’t told your parents,” Eileen said, ready to steer the conversation to something more serious.

“No, and I don’t think I will either. They probably wouldn’t even notice. My mum was all over my case this summer, telling me I needed to lose weight. If she would have looked closer, maybe she would have seen it. “

“What are you going to do once the child is born?”

“I still don’t know. I’ve only got about a month left, and it frightens me to think that I don’t have anywhere to go. What am I supposed to do with a baby with no place to go?”

“You’ll come here, that’s what you’ll do. I won’t allow my grandchild to be homeless.”

Evelyn smiled, and Eileen could see the tension melt from her face. Really, Eileen thought, she’s much prettier with that smile. If the child was born with her smile, the child would go places. Severus once had a smile like that but as he grew and the world grew heavy on his shoulders, the smile was lost. Eileen would give anything to see her son smile like that again.

“That’s very kind of you. I wouldn’t want to impose, however.”

“Impose my arse. You’re a vessel, that’s what you are. You’re the mother of my first and maybe only grandchild. “ Evelyn held back a guffaw upon hearing a woman of Eileen’s age curse. “And your schooling; you need to finish school, dear. I’ll take care of the child and you can come every weekend to take over for a while.”

Evelyn looked rather horrified at the thought. It then dawned on Eileen that the girl wouldn’t know where to begin. There was feeding the child, there was bathing it and there was making sure the infant didn’t grow up to be a horrible person all together. The girl had much to learn and Eileen would be the one to teach her. But it wasn’t something she could teach her in one session; the girl needed to gain experience for herself.

The two women sat for another hour, comparing pregnancy stories and thinking of names. Eileen was sure the baby would be a girl, there was just no way it couldn’t be anything else but a girl.

Severus returned to find lunch waiting on him, though he said he wasn’t very hungry. Eileen noticed that Severus made sure Evelyn ate before any one else. He was a man now, he was no longer her little boy, and there was just no getting around it. Eileen was just grateful that he’d turned out half way decent.

Eileen watched Severus and Evelyn interact with out a word to either of them. She chewed her sandwich thoughtfully as Severus plopped a few parcels down on the table. He looked rather flushed as he began to unwrap his purchases, showing off a few books and a silver chain with a small trinket hanging off of it. It looked rather expensive, especially for the salary of a teacher.

“It’s a security amulet,” he explained, holding it up for everyone to see. “It’s supposed to ward off sickness from the child and it’s enchanted to create a sense of euphoria when it’s placed near the child so when she’s-“ he stopped for a second to correct himself, “it’s in a fussy, inconsolable state, it will calm down.”

“I didn’t know you were so superstitious, Professor,” Evelyn said, her first words upon Severus’ return.

“I’m not, Miss Hewitt,” he said darkly. “I bought it at a consignment shop. The woman who sold it to me said it was a life saver during the more…unsavory…months after her children’s births.”

“And you’ll just believe anything some old hag tells you? How do you know she wasn’t just after your money?” Evelyn asked. Eileen couldn’t help but think that she was being a bit snotty and it unsettled her greatly to see her son being spoken to in such a manner. Maternal instincts never die.

“Do you really think I would have spent my hard earned money if I hadn’t of thoroughly examined it myself?” He held the trinket up to her face. “You see those scratches? Those scratches aren’t just normal wear and tear. They clearly indicate-“

“Spare me your lecture. I get enough of it in your classroom,” Evelyn snarled, interrupting his spiel. Eileen could have slapped her because of the girl’s disrespect. She could have torn the girl to pieces because of the way Severus’ face fell and then hardened again. Couldn’t she see that Severus was trying to please her? Couldn’t she see that he was only trying to help her? It seemed hardly plausible that only a while ago Eileen was starting to like Evelyn. Now she wanted to kill her for the way she was treating her son.

Evelyn crossed her arms across her chest, smirking, challenging Severus. To Eileen’s surprise, Severus smiled. His eyebrows were raised, but his smile wasn’t cruel. His eyes were laughing, and Eileen couldn’t understand why. Was he enjoying being verbally abused by the little tart?

“Well I see your condition hasn’t afflicted your personality.”

“Clearly,” the girl said dryly.

Severus sat down next to her heavily, as though he were horribly burdened.

“Evelyn, I need to ask you a serious question,” he said with sigh. “Have you considered the possibility of perhaps joining me in matrimony? “

Eileen grew excited, hoping to god that the girl would say yes, so she could plan for a wedding. She’d dreamed of the day since Severus was but a lad.

“No, I haven’t,” Evelyn said, her expression pained. “I don’t mean to sound completely horrid, but I don’t think I could. My parents wouldn’t approve.”

“Yes, well, I thought I’d ask anyway,” Severus said, looking slightly crestfallen.

“Oh no, Professor, it’s nothing against you, but I don’t think I could handle being a wife on top of being a mother.”

“No, that’s quite alright, I understand.”

“I mean, would you honestly want to marry me?”

Severus looked slightly surprised and answered, “You’re carrying my child. Of course I would.”

Evelyn eyed him suspiciously.

“No I mean, would you want to marry me for the reasons that people are supposed to get married for and not because you got me pregnant?”

The girl instantly erased her transgressions in Eileen’s book with that question. The girl was smart to ask. Eileen finally understood why Severus liked her so much; she was a challenge. Evelyn would be good for him, Eileen figured, snotty or not.

“I really don’t think we’re in a position to compromise, Evelyn. It would be better if we did; I’d be able to keep my job if some one were to find out.”

“You don’t love me though, Professor. I don’t want to be stuck in a loveless marriage. It’d be horrid.”

“You’re not listening to what I’m saying, you have to-“

“I don’t have to do anything, Severus,” Evelyn said, with a small playful smile. “If you think you could find the means in that black hole that you call a heart, then I might just consider.”

Eileen could tell that Evelyn was a Slytherin, the way she toyed with Severus like that. It was slightly amusing to watch, really. Seeing her son get upped like that sort of made her happy, in a weird sense.

“I’m fond of you, but I don’t know about love,” he said, with a gulp.

“Then my answer is no,” Evelyn said nonchalantly. Oh it was great fun, Eileen thought, to watch her son grapple in his mind. It wouldn’t kill him to be human for once.

“We’ll discuss this later,” he said, with an air of finality.

“So we will, Professor, so we will,” Evelyn said, shrugging.


So I can't decide whether I want them to get married or not because if they were to marry it'd take the story in a whole different direction from what I had originally planned, but this sort of just wrote it's self before I could stop it so I decided to leave it like this where it could go either way. I figure that if they were to marry it'd move right along well enough and I could work it in quite nicely really, I kinda of like leaving Snape vulnerable and confused. It makes him seem human. But anyway, I thought I'd hear what all of you have to say about it before I made any final decisions. I figure I ought to hear you out before I say ye or nay, so let me know what you think. It's nice to have a second opinion.

Oh and Draco will be making more appearances, and I daresay he becomes quite bothersome to our dear Professor Snapey-Poo.