Abby's Side

About a month later, Abby (who was sleeping much better, in large part due to Sirius being home much more) was pacing frantically. Lily was busy with a potion, and glanced up to see her friend’s near-panicked expression.

“Oh, Lily,” Abby wailed frantically. James, Sirius, and Remus had been gone for nearly two days now, and though she knew where they were, it scared her. “What if they don’t come back? And if I am, Lily, what if I am?!”

“Abby, please, stop pacing and calm down! If you are pregnant, this stress is hard on the baby!” She checked the potion and carefully measured some into a small vial. “There! Go find out.”

Twenty minutes later, Abby’s shriek echoed through the nearly-empty house. “Now what?” she gasped.

“You tell Sirius,” Lily said firmly. Abby swallowed, but before she could protest, the front door opened and shut loudly. Sirius, looking drained, poked his head in the doorway.

“Abby? Are you okay?”

She smiled slowly up at him. Her eyes did not warm with the forced action. “Yeah… um… I want to tell you upstairs, okay?”

The two slowly went up to their room, with Abby stopping to check on Ari briefly before they locked and charmed their door. He leaned against the door and waited as she read his expression. Sirius was exhausted, and clearly it had been a hard couple of days. This time, he and James had been with Alex on a combined Auror/Order mission; his grey eyes were stormy but clearly hiding deep pain. Abby took a deep breath.

“Siri… I’m pregnant.”

Sirius looked surprised, then smiled down at her. “Did you think I’d be upset, Abby?” he asked, nibbling her neck. She simply shook her head before collapsing into his arms in tears.

“Siri, I’m so scared,” she said in a voice barely above a whisper. I’m terrifed. Every time you w-walk out that d-door I wonder if you’ll come back.”

“That’s why we had the charm put on these rings, Abby,” he said gently, rubbing her back soothingly. “C’mon, baby, you’re exhausted, and so am I. Let’s get some sleep, ok?”

She let him undress her and pull on a tank top with her underwear, and he pulled off his shoes, socks, and dirty, ripped jeans before sliding under the covers with her. Abby cuddled up to him and drank in his scent. Under the sweat, tears, and was that blood?—under all of that was her Sirius, the Sirius she had fallen in love with. Her heart fell into a rhythm with his and soon she was fast asleep.


Six months later, terrible news shook Abby to the core. Tilly and Alexa had been kidnapped, then brutally murdered. She fell into Sirius’ arms as soon as she found out, and he carefully led her out of the Order meeting and home again. After more than two hours of crying, she simply fell limp against him. Then it hit her—pain unlike any she had ever known before. She fled upstairs just as James, Lily, and Remus walked in. Lily immediately took off upstairs, giving a very confused Sirius a sad look.

Abby was sick to her stomach—worse than she had ever been before. When Lily shut the door, Abby could no longer get sick and was in tears again. The redhead sat down beside her friend and they embraced as Abby clung desperately to her.

“I think I lost the baby,” she sobbed hysterically. “I was so scared, but I w-wanted this baby so bad.”

“Shh, Abby,” Lily said soothingly. Abby was numb as the pains coursed through her stomach, and an hour later she was proven right. She crumbled into Sirius’ lap in their bed, and he rocked her and murmured softly, trying to calm her. After a long, long time, her tears ceased.

Sirius gently lifted her chin and kissed her. “Abby… gods… I won’t ever leave you. Even if in all this we end up physically separated my mind, heart, and soul are yours. Only yours.”

There was a soft knock at the door announcing Dumbledore’s arrival the very next morning. Sirius carefully carried Abby downstairs; she was still weak and sore from the traumatic late miscarriage, but this had to be important. Lily and James brought Ari and Harry in; as of late neither child was going unwatched.

When the group, including Remus, had settled into seats, Dumbledore leaned forward. “The attack on Voldemort’s chosen infant is going to be on Halloween.” Abby gave a startled, strangled cry; the day that meant so much to herself and Sirius…

Sirius murmured a few words in her ear, and she clung to him as if he could set life right. Dumbledore continued, “Excellent work on the strengthened wards… Sirius, am I right in assuming that’s your work?”

“Yes, sir,” Sirius said quietly. He had always been extraordinarily talented at Defense and Transfiguration, so had been set to work with concealment charms and extra wards around both properties. James, Sirius, and Remus finally had a plan, and nothing was going to stop them.

“Halloween is all you have to figure this out, Sirius. Let me know if you all figure anything out.”

For the next three months, frequent arguments broke out between James and Sirius. Neither was sleeping much, if at all, which added to the already tense atmosphere in the house. It sounded like Sirius was winning, and in the middle of October, the arguments ceased.

On the night of October 30th, Sirius and James were arguing again. This was the loudest one yet, and Abby strained to hear them from the upstairs bedroom where she lay resting.

“James, it has to be one of them! Secret Keepers can betray-“

“So could they!”

“No,” Sirius replied harshly, “they couldn’t. They won’t know, therefore they can’t tell.”

“You’re sentencing your nephew, your GODSON, and your DAUGHTER to DEATH, Sirius!” James shot back.

“No, James,” Sirius yelled. “You are.” His voice broke as he continued. “For your spell to work we have to be SURE that no one will know the truth. For everything we’ve killed ourselves for in the last 7 months to work, either Ari or Harry has to be the second Secret-Keeper.”

Unearthly quiet rang through the house, and Abby slowly sat up. Sirius knocked softly on the door, then pushed it open. “Hey, baby,” he said quietly. “We have to set everything tonight.”

Abby nodded, fighting tears back. On her way downstairs with Sirius, she picked Ari up out of her crib. When she sat down on the floor directly across from Lily, she set Ari down on the blanket next to Harry. Both children began to babble at each other, and Abby realized she was crying. With an effort, she wrenched her eyes away from the children and looked up at Sirius.

“Now,” she said in a hoarse whisper.

Sirius raised his wand, took a deep breath, and let the incantation tumble out of his mouth. “Defendo veritas dies sese concitator parricida.”

There was a blinding flash of light, then Sirius turned his wand on James and Lily. “Ready?” he asked quietly. When they nodded, Sirius closed his eyes; he forced another incantation to tumble from his mouth. “Protetus enemros cal.”

James then raised his wand to his sister and his best mate. At their nod, he repeated the incantation, then swallowed hard.

“Now all we have to do,” Sirius murmured, “is set the essential Fidelius. It’s got to be one of the kids.”

Fresh tears rolled down Abby’s face; she thought she knew what was coming when James opened his mouth. “Ari,” he said quietly. Lily nodded her agreement, and Sirius looked down at his daughter with tears in his eyes.

“Ari,” he said hoarsely. With a lump in his throat, Sirius closed his eyes and focused on every detail, every turn of events, that needed to be hidden.

“Fidelius.”


The next morning, the two couples bade each other goodbye. They had decided that if Voldemort decided to come after either Ari or Harry, it was best to not be together. As the sun was slipping low, Abby and Sirius crouched low by the window to wait. Abby clutched their sleeping daughter to her chest, willing the baby not to cry. Just after dark, there was the unmistakable sound of apparition. Abby cried out as Voldemort, led by Pettigrew, stalked up the sidewalk.

He walked right up to Lily and James’, where a shout of pain and yells reached her ears. Voldemort vanished, and Sirius—despite Abby’s pleading—took off after Pettigrew. There was no movement from the house next door, and Abby shook out of her stupor enough to go upstairs and pack what she could.

She waited at the gate for Dumbledore, who arrived as quickly as she had expected. Abby explained everything she knew, tears rolling down her face as she held Ari close. “I have to leave,” she concluded desperately. “My ring… it’s fine, so Sirius is ok. I really don’t know if the magic held. If it did… well… we have to wait for Ari to tell us so.”

Dumbledore nodded gravely. “The actions set in motion tonight cannot, for now, be undone. Harry has been taken to the Dursleys-“ he held up a hand and continued over Abby- “because I don’t see fit to let him go with you. Do you understand, Abby? I don’t like it either.”

Abby, her throat constricted, nodded. “Tell… tell Sirius… tell him I love him,” she stammered, and then she and Ari were gone.


Sixteen years later, Abby was thrown out of bed in Hawaii by a loud explosion. She dressed quickly and raced into the kitchen. She skidded to a halt on broken glass and felt fear like she had not felt since fleeing to the U.S.

Those hoods, the way they moved—they were far too familiar. A ghastly green symbol lit up the sky over the small, all-magic community, and Abby felt sick with dread. Two years before, she had received a letter from Dumbledore. It had been far too void of any information other than the fact that Voldemort had returned. Clearly, he knew now about Ariana—and also where she was.

“Ariana Cassandra, get down here! NOW!”

Ari raced downstairs in jeans and a tank top, her wand in her jeans pocket and a brush in her left hand. In the midst of the terror outside, Abby appraised her daughter. Ari had turned into the exact physical model one would have expected, based on her parents, though she had at last taken favor to Sirius. She had long, almost-black hair; bright blue eyes with hints of grey; and Sirius’ facial features. The teenager was tall, tan, skinny, muscular—and had also inherited Sirius’ carefree, “caution-to-the-wind” attitude. Another blast rocked their house, and glass shattered.

“Pack EVERYTHING, Ariana, and shrink it. NOW!” As soon as Ari turned to obey, Abby (berating herself for what she was doing) crouched behind the couch in the living room as two hooded figures stood in the kitchen. Ari thundered back downstairs and froze. The two Death Eaters pulled off their hoods and masks, and Abby suddenly felt sicker than before. Narcissa and Bellatrix confronted Ari, and before Abby could stop shaking, Bellatrix turned to the window.

“ENOUGH!” she cried. “WE FOUND HER!” Fighting ceased immediately, and with a crack, everyone was gone. Abby fell to her knees, sobbing uncontrollably. Sirius’ much-loathed cousins had taken the only thing she had left.


Abby couldn’t even get through her day-to-day activities the next day. She had finally given in to the utter depression and was at the kitchen table in tears when her neighbors came in. The older of the two boys had been close to Ari, and he looked near exhaustion. The two boys and their mother were much like Abby and Ari—they had fled Britain near the end of the First War, and the two families had become very close.

Karinna sealed the doors, the windows, and then cast several charms over the room. Finally, they could speak freely. “Taylor was the last to see Ari before you, Abby. They were at the luau…”

“We didn’t stay,” Taylor interjected fiercely. His blond hair and blue-green eyes were startling, and very unlike his mother’s and brother’s. “We went for a walk on the beach.” He looked up sheepishly. “Sorry, Abby.”

“It’s alright,” she said hoarsely. “Thanks for coming over. I haven’t heard a thing, have you?”

Karinna shook her head. She, too, had been in the original Order, but Abby had the closer bond to the “inner workings” so to speak. “I haven’t heard a lick. Do you know who it was that was actually looking for her?”

Abby’s expression became stormy, and Karinna almost immediately regretted the question. “It was Narcissa and Bellatrix. They-“ suddenly it hit her, and Abby’s aggression evaporated. “Oh my God,” she moaned. “Ari’s pureblood.”

Taylor’s eyes shot up; Ari had never mentioned this to him before. Karinna had not been in the Order long enough to know who Ari’s father was, but she suddenly caught her gaze on Abby’s ring. It didn’t surprise her at all that the younger girl refused to remove the ring. Much, much later, after a hot supper, Taylor, Karinna, and Kent left Abby to struggle through the next month.

At the beginning of July, as Abby was laying awake early in the morning, an owl tapped at her window. She nearly flew across the room and let the owl in; perhaps at last she would get some news. Three different letters fell out, each with a number written on the outside. Abby grabbed the first one and scanned through Dumbledore’s predictably-empty letter. She grabbed the second, and nearly dropped it when she recognized Ari’s handwriting.

Mom,
I just wanted to let you know I’m
okay now. I can’t say anything else,
there’s too much of a risk that this
could be intercepted. Just please,
PLEASE don’t come looking for me.
I know I’ll see you again—SOON!
Love,
Ariana

Without thinking, Abby glanced down at her left hand. Both her engagement ring and her wedding ring were still there. She suddenly cried out and fell into a chair, clutching the last letter. The rings were charmed to only come off if the other member of the joined party was killed… Sirius, then, was alive. She carefully opened the last letter and felt lightheaded to see Sirius’ handwriting.

Abby-
I’m sorry I haven’t written. I’ve been in…
a stupor, you could say. When we found
Ari, it jolted me awake. There’s a new Order
and a new fear… Voldemort’s still after Harry
obsessively, and that has apparently now
extended to Ari. Abby, I love you. Please stay
where you are, for now. I just need to know you
are okay.
I love you, Abigail Cassandra. We have a lot of
time to make up for.
-Sirius

“Fuck yeah, we do,” Abby murmured, gazing intently at Sirius’ handwriting. Granted, the letters from her loved ones were just as empty as Dumbledore’s, and clearly Ari had not yet grasped what she once referred to as “dreams that, when I try to catch them, are like trying to hold water in your cupped hands” to be reality… but they were full of hope and full of love. She was fortified by this and tucked Sirius’ letter into her robes.

Nearly three more months passed and Abby drew strength daily from the letter from Sirius. Just the fact that he was alive and no doubt working hard to get her home got her through the endless waking hours, and sometimes she could swear she felt his arms around her. Early one morning there was a knock at the door, and Abby opened it. She nearly dropped the clothes she was balancing in one hand as he came just inside.

Dumbledore waved his wand, and just like that the few things Abby had claim to were gone. “We must be quick, Abby. Ariana is beginning to remember the secrets.” Fawkes dug his talons into their clothes and they flashed away.

When Abby looked around, she was in a familiar setting. An abandoned classroom at Hogwarts was where she had landed, and Abby sat down as she was at last filled in on what had been going on.

“As soon as we got wind from our spy that Ari had been kidnapped, we knew she was in danger. Immediately it became clear that she would come here in September; Sirius thought you would have no objections.” His blue eyes twinkled at her and her face finally cracked a small smile. “So we made some changes to the staff to place only Order members in the classroom and free Minerva McGonagall to do more for the Order. She is still Deputy Headmistress, but frequently is on… shall we say ‘missions’ for the Order. Remus is teaching Defense, and Sirius is teaching Transfiguration as well as serving as Head of Gryffindor. Sirius can tell you more. Oh… we still don’t know if the charms held or not. Sirius was charged with their murder, and spent 13 years in Azkaban before using that clever Animagus form to escape. Just after we rescued Ari, Pettigrew was caught and has since died of, as the Azkaban attendees have informed us. Fawkes will let you know when the appropriate time to come to my office is. The password is ‘Milky Way.’”

Abby only waited in the classroom for a few minutes before a single feather dropped to the floor. She picked it up and tucked it away, then headed up to Dumbledore’s office. As soon as the door opened, she saw only her daughter hurtling toward her. “Mom,” she whispered. “You’re here, you’re here…”

“Ari,” Abby replied. “You know why I never told you?”

Ari nodded. “You couldn’t speak of it. I really hate it, but I understand.” When Ari sat back down, Abby locked eyes with Sirius for the first time in 16 years.

“Sirius,” she said quietly, unable to break the contact.

“Abby,” he replied just as quietly, also unable to break the contact. Abby flung herself into his arms.

“I knew it. Even before the rings registered in my brain I knew you were okay,” she whispered. “You know we had to run. Oh, Siri…”

Sirius turned to Ari, his embrace not loosening any. “Ari, your mother is the key to your being the second Heir. She’s James’ twin sister—you and Harry are cousins through her and only her.”

The staircase moved again; Harry and Remus walked in. “What’s going on?” Harry asked, looking around. His gaze lingered a moment on Abby as he took her appearance in. Something was oddly familiar, and it wasn’t what he’d seen in Ari.

Sirius looked at Abby as she broke away and settled into a chair. He leaned back on Dumbledore’s desk as the headmaster looked on benignly. “Sit down, Harry… this could take awhile. And we still can’t tell you everything.”

More than an hour later, Harry sat in his chair in shock. “Everything is a LIE, then? What I’ve believed… what the world has believed… that’s not the truth?”

“Not necessarily,” Ari said placatingly. “Truth is all in perception.”

“That’s true,” he conceded. “Ari, do you remember anything? At all?”

Ari put her head in her hands as Sirius and Abby watched with particularly baited breath. Suddenly, she gasped and shot straight up out of her chair in shock. Her face showed only disbelief and horror, and she suddenly realized just why she had reacted so badly to the Death Eaters.

“I just remembered,” she breathed. “Mom… why didn’t you tell me about the…” she glanced at Harry and reworded her question. “The thing? With the Death Eaters?”

“I hoped you’d never need to know,” Abby replied quietly. Dumbledore urged Ari to write down everything she could, and after only a few seconds, Ari pushed the parchment across the desk.

“I’ll… let you know what happens,” she said quietly, then turned and left without a word, but a hug for each of her parents. Harry received a simple nod as his dismissal, and Remus excused himself. Abby and Sirius were left alone with the headmaster, whose blue eyes were twinkling.

“Abby, I’m sure you are exhausted, so despite the early hour, go on and get to sleep. We will have time to talk, plenty of time to talk.”

Sirius led her to his fairly large quarters connected to the DADA classroom and immediately set the charms in place. He pinned her against the wall with a kiss so passionate the fire she had felt when she saw him again actually burned brighter. She whimpered as the heat pooled in her stomach and Sirius pressed his body to hers. “Gods, I missed you,” he groaned.

He slid her t-shirt over her head and nibbled on her collarbone. Abby’s gasps and replies became incomprehensible sighs as he carefully slid her jeans off. Gently he continued his re-discovery of all her sensitive spots, and she was trembling with need so badly she had to depend on him for her support. She managed to push his t-shirt over his head and slide his jeans off, then had to depend on him again.

Sirius carried her to the unimaginably soft bed and continued his slow, languid attentions. He unhooked her bra between kisses and soon had her writhing beneath him. “This is going to hurt,” he said, sliding her underwear off and looking up at her.

“I don’t c-c-arrrre,” she stammered as he flicked his tongue across her clit. “I have never needed you m-more.”

Gently, slowly, he pushed his way into her, his heart wrenching when tears rolled down her cheeks. If he had needed it, this was his proof—Abby was still his and only his. Something familiar to Abby flickered in Sirius’ eyes—the blue she loved had burst back into the once-obvious influence again; she gasped.

Sirius looked at her, then suddenly realized she was looking him straight in the eyes. “Abby…” he gently flicked her clit… “Abby, what was that gasp for?”

“Siri… Siri, the blue. It’s back. In your eyes.” She twisted beneath him and he lost all control. Even when she cried out that it was too hard, too fast, he couldn’t stop. With a shriek each time, Abby fell over the edge again and again. The last time, the passionate fire had at last taken her over and she was crying again; the frustrations of so many long years apart, the passion, the shock, the lust… her tiny body couldn’t handle it. This time, Sirius was at last finished as well, and rolled off of her onto his back, chest heaving.

Both of them were drenched in sweat, but when Abby pressed her mouth to his she was shocked to realize that he was crying too. “You aren’t the only one that hurt,” he groaned. “Shit…” They slid carefully under the covers and Abby cuddled up to him. He was entirely too thin, his ribs were showing, but Abby knew from the Azkaban horror stories that this was probably the result of several months of restricted diets and slowly, painfully gaining weight back.

“Siri?” Abby said quietly as he held her close.

“Yeah, Abby?” he replied sleepily.

“I love you.”

Sirius’ heart nearly stopped; he had missed hearing those three tiny words more than anything else. In Azkaban he had seen the worst images he had known of her and some planted images as well. “I love you too, Abby. I told you once more than life itself, and I mean that. Without you, I wasn’t really living.”

Abby leaned up and kissed him. “That was beautiful, baby, but you’ve got penance to pay.”

“What for?!” Sirius asked, suddenly unsure.

“For making me sore, you git.”

Sirius burst out laughing around the same time as her. She had gotten him on that one; he had gone for it hook, line, and sinker. “All right, you saucy little tart. I’m tired.”

“Siri? Love you.”

“Love you, Abby.”

Sirius smiled slowly and closed his eyes. He knew that for now, taking it day-by-day was the only way to go. Having Abby there would do nothing but help him gather his strength for the inevitable last battle.