Never Piss Off a House-Elf

Hermione watched as Albus Dumbledore led her best friends out of the room, closing the door with a click behind them. She turned her attention to the Potions Master, the gears in her head turning so he could practically hear them. He said nothing, and she said nothing, for a few minutes.


"We should be able to figure out a way to fix this, Professor," Hermione said, finally breaking the silence that stretched between them. "Surely I could go to the Ministry with Ron and explain the situation to them, get them to lift this and allow you your freedom."


"I think that you don not fully understand the gravity of the situation. The Ministry has invoked an old magic, one that they don't control at all, and they don't even know it. This isn't the first time I've seen this," Snape said, closing his eyes and leaning back on the couch. Hermione observed him, seeing how, large as it was, his nose really did fit his face. His hair was pulled back in deference to the heat, something she'd never seen before. Her stomach turned, and she spoke.


"If I don't understand, explain it to me. Perhaps if a new brain mulls it over, a solution can be found," Hermione said, and the wizard shook his head.


"Betrothal magic is some of the oldest magic. The feeling that settled in . . . you. . . was the magic taking hold. If I were to die, you would be free, and vice versa. Since the war is over, I find I want to live. If, however, you feel that life as my wife would be so horrible, feel free to do something about yourself," Snape said without emotion. "I have prior knowledge of this magic, witch, and I worked very hard to change it. There is no way out."


"So I am supposed to accept this?" Hermione said hoarsely. "Tell me your story, and I'll accept this."


"You'll accept it no matter what I tell you or don't tell you, witch. You and I have no choice."


"Think about how my very presence bothered you these last few years. I am prepared to make you very uncomfortable if you don't tell me why you seem to think why we can't change this," Hermione said, her voice filling with heat.


"Stop that! Witch, you were about to invoke an Oath. You should be more careful with your words. Listen closely and I'll tell you why I have such knowledge. I don't want this bandied about, so I'll ward the room for our privacy. Your little friends will probably think I'm ravishing you," he said, letting his eyes rove over her lush form. He wouldn't mind ravishing her, but not now. Things are always more delicious when one is not supposed to do them, and not she was well within the limits.


She pursed her lips and let the Potions Master ward the room for silence. She sat forward on her seat, her eyes trained on his. He sighed and called a glass to his hand. One appeared in front of Hermione, and she sniffed it carefully.


"This won't take long, but I find I need some refreshment, and my mouth still hurts from what you did earlier," Snape said, taking a long sip. "What would you prefer to drink if that pumpkin juice is not to your liking?"


"I prefer a muggle drink, a soda called 'Diet Coke'," Hermione said, and she saw the liquid in her glass change and foam. "Thank you."


"The glass has keyed itself to you. Any beverage it can provide for you, it will, within boundaries. There are the obvious limitations on beverage choice at times," Snape said, watching her curiously. "No early day alcohol, no poison, and all dependent on your state of health. I marketed the spell myself."


"Foolish wand-waving?" Hermione asked, a smile quirking her lips. She was amused, but he would not dissuade her from the story.


"Foolish, yet profitable. I assume you would still like to know the why of my knowledge."


Hermione nodded.


"Then listen well. . ."


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AN: Well, that's it for now. See you next ~--


(wrestling, tussling)


AH! mew-tsubaki, my beta, has beaten me to a pulp and demanded the rest of this bit before I can retire for the time being!


Continue. . .


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* Severus's story*


I was a sixth year, and well in love with a lovely girl. No, not Lily, now be quiet so I can tell my story. . .


We were in love and my mother loved the girl as well. My love was beautiful, and smart, and had quite a spirit, always questioning what I had to say at least once, before acquiescing. She was a person of acceptance. My intolerance allowed her to be a comfort to me.


My mother blessed us, and we went to meet with her parents. She'd told them of me, but they had never taken her seriously. She didn't know that; she was naïve. Her sisters were preoccupied with their own marriages, and couldn't offer her any advice.


When we arrived, her father had warded he house against me. It broke my nose, yet again, and a nasty little house-elf, rather unlike Satchel and Dobby, much more like Kreacher, delivered a letter to me.


My love had been made to sign a marriage contract; her parents had already planned everything. She would be married that day. We knew it was binding, and didn't have the time to elope. I gave her a kiss in parting, and she screamed for the burning pain it caused her.


Even beyond hope, I used a time-turner and the help of many house-elves under specific orders to research the magic. There was nothing to be done for it. After the entire thing, Albus himself explained it to me, about the magicks that are so old that even if there was a way to change the outcome, they've been lost to time.


And that is why I won't even try to help you research. I've done it before; I refuse to have hope dashed again.


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w00t! Done!


(scuffling, crashes, bangs)


OH DEAR GODS! NOT THAT, I SWEAR I'LL WRITE MORE!


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* end Severus's story *


"Who was she?" Hermione asked, her voice small. She'd moved closer to hear him better, her knees almost touching his. Her thirst for knowledge was unquenchable, even for information about someone else's misery.


"That isn't the point of the story, Miss Granger. . . Hermione," Severus said, scrubbing a hand down his face. "The point is that I don't want you to get it in our head that you can change this. You would be banging your head against a wall if you tried. You are still my student, and I do not want your grades to suffer because you are focused on trying to undo something that can not be undone!"


"But Sir, you only had so much time! We have a year to figure this out. Surely if we worked together, we could~--" Hermione began, but he could her off.


"No, Hermione. I know how hard it can be for a Gryffindor to accept that blunt force can't fix everything, but you'll have to try. And even if you could fix it ~-- which you can't ~-- what makes you think that young Master Weasley will wait for you, or that he'll be able to? The law carries a heavy punishment for those who don't comply; closer to the deadline, he may have to go on without you," Severus said, and the tears started to flow from Hermione's eyes. He put an awkward hand on her knee, trying to comfort her. "I know this is not what you ever planned."


"But you still blame me, don't you? I sent the letter instead of carrying it with me. I never bothered to see who Satchel served before Hogwart's. And now I have made my bed and I have to lie in it," Hermione said, and blushed. That was not the analogy to make, considering where the magic had settled to let them know it had taken hold. "Sorry."


Severus's nostrils flared for a moment before he sat up straight. His eyes roved over her figure for a moment before he caught himself.


"No need to apologize, Miss Granger," he said gruffly, trying to de-personalize the situation. He never liked to share that way; it must have been something about the magic of the betrothal that opened his mouth. "I assume you'd like me to leave now, so your friends can comfort you."


Hermione looked up at him, and nodded. Severus let the wards down and called out to let Albus know the need for privacy was over.


"Hermione! He better not have kissed you! We'll find a way to fix this so you can marry whoever you want!" Ron's voice came to her from across the house.


"No worries, Ron! I'm unscathed," Hermione called, laughing. Severus looked at her curiously. "What? If you're not laughing, you're crying."


Something clicked then, and Hermione was on her feet, facing Severus. His hands shot out, wrapping around her pliant form. She looked into his face, craning her neck to see his eyes. Her own eyes were heavy-lidded, and her breasts felt heavy against his chest. Heat flared between the two, and Hermione felt him pressed against her core.


"Severus. . . "


"Mi~--. . . Hermione. . . "


Severus crushed his mouth over hers, all thoughts of leaving her purity intact out of his head, along with the notion that her friends would be there any minute. She gasped at his hardness, and he used that moment to press his tongue into her mouth, tasting the depths of her, claiming her mouth as his own, forcing all memory of any other kisses she'd ever received out of her memory. His hand came to rest low on her hip, heat radiating out form it, igniting her. She ground against him, moaning.


"We shouldn't be doing this, Miss Granger. . . "


Severus spoke but all words left him as Hermione rose on her tiptoes, twisting so he could feel her heat. Her t-shirt rose and his fingers met bare flesh. He hooked a finger into the wasteband of her jeans when he heard something outside the room. they broke the kiss raggedly, each breathing hard.


"Hermione. . . that was. . ."


"Wonderf~--"


"Bastard!"


Her friends had come back too soon.


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AN: Finally, after a baby lemonseed, mew has decided I can retire for the day.