Darker Side of Me

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 9

Harry couldn’t believe his eyes. He sat upright quickly and put on his glasses to make the image clearer and more real. Draco sat there, on the edge of his bed. He was breathing heavily and his hair was a mess about his face. His eyes were wide and his face looked almost frightened.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Harry yelled, stumbling out of bed. His own breathing sped up and his heart raced. He did not know what else to do.

“Harry please,” Draco murmured. There was something wrong with his voice. It was hoarse and broken. Harry could see pale bruises on his face now. His clothes were tattered and looked wet. “Please, give me a chance.” Harry reeled in anger.

“What the hell for?!” he yelled back, unwilling to keep it down. He hoped that the rest of Gryffindor house would wake up too. “I gave you a chance and you betrayed me!! Get out! Get out!” Harry picked up his wand and held it at Draco. Malfoy immediately started to move for the door. He ran, much like he had on Christmas day, and Harry followed after him.

“Why won’t you just listen to me?!” Draco called back this time. The other boys in the dorms began to rise as well, wondering what all the commotion was. Harry cast a spell at him, but hit the wall.

“Why?! Because you are nothing but a liar and a coward! I have no reason to believe you, you bastard!” he hollered, running down the stairs into the common room. “Why should I trust you now? You said you wanted me dead!! Why should I trust you?!”

Draco skidded and tripped into a wall, narrowly avoiding another hex. The girls were filing down the stairs as well now to see what was going on. Draco was panting.

“You idiot!! You should have known better! You should have known what I was!!” he yelled back at Harry, getting out his own wand in defense. “You should have figured it out sooner before we both ended up this way!!” Harry was ready to throw his wand aside and punch Draco instead.

“So what, it’s my fault that you tried to kill me?!” Harry hollered as the common room slowly crowded with all the students trying to figure out what was happening and why there was a Slytherin in their house. Draco’s eyes jumped from one person to the next, trying to weigh out his options.

“I never tried to kill you!!” he defended, putting his wand away, realizing that he would sooner be dead than take on all of these Gryffindors.

“You would have!! You were planning to! You said I deserved to die!” Harry yelled, his voice breaking as he tried to hold back tears. Draco shook his head.

“I could never have killed you,” he replied, more quietly this time. “Do you really think I wanted it to end up this way?! Why won’t you just believe me?” He sounded desperate now. Harry noticed that he was bleeding from somewhere, though he paid no mind to it.

“Sure you didn’t want it this way; no one ever wants to get caught!” Harry snapped. “After all I gave, after all that I said and did, you still betrayed me! You continued to play me like a fool! I have no reason to trust you or believe you!!”

“You do have reason to trust me, don’t you get it?! Why do you think I came back? Why do you think I sent you those damn messages?!” Draco screamed, the urgency in his tone growing. “Do you really think I’m that stupid?! Do you honestly believe that was all just so I could get you alone to kill you?!” Ron tried to step forwards, but Harry stopped him. None of the other students could understand what was happening. They all stood in shock, watching the scene unfold.

“Then tell me why!! Give me one good reason to believe you!!” Harry demanded, tears streaking his face along with the heat and the sweat from their confrontation.

“Because I love you, you moron!” Draco screamed. He shut his eyes and an expression of great pain drew itself on his features. He lifted his arm and pulled back the sleeve. His forearm was dripping blood from where Draco had clearly tried to cut and burn away the mark that had started this whole mess. Harry’s arm dropped to his side. He tried to take in what he was seeing and hearing. He closed his eyes and bit his lip.

“Why should I believe what you say now? How does that change anything?” he asked, his voice much calmer and quieter. Draco’s bleeding arm was dripping onto the floor.

“Because I told them the truth,” he answered. Harry wasn’t sure who the boy meant by ‘them’. “I told them and I refused to do what they want me to and now they are going to kill me. They are going to kill me and I need your help…. I need you.” His voice became quiet and pained. Harry’s heart was fighting hard against his brain. He couldn’t stand to be at odds with himself.

“Why should I help you?” he asked, his own face full of tears and his voice cracking.

“Because I love you, and I’ve told you in front of everyone, and I don’t care. I love you and I don’t know what to do,” he murmured, falling to his knees from the exertions. “My father did this to me,” he said, pulling off his shirt to show Harry the extensive wounds on his torso. “he did this to me…. I love you, Harry Potter…. I love you and I don’t know what to do…. I don’t know what to do….”

Harry felt all the anger wash away from him in the face of Draco’s weakness. He let the tears flow freely down his face now, unable to stop himself. He thought he wanted to stay mad at Draco for the rest of his life but now that he was faced with all this he found that he couldn’t do it.

“Harry, what the hell is going on?” Ron demanded. But Harry wasn’t listening. He stepped towards Draco and kneeled down. He lifted Draco’s face to stare into his eyes but he said nothing. Instead, he simply pulled Draco into a kiss.

*_*_*

Draco’s heart raced as Harry stood before him, his eyes so full of sadness and pain that Draco knew he himself had caused. He was prepared for the worst when Potter pulled him close and pressed their lips together, in front of all of the students of his house. It was as though in that one small action, everything had changed and they didn’t have to care anymore. It was as though Draco no longer had to fear anything and he was fully accepted by Harry and nothing else mattered.

They sat kissing for a long while before Harry pulled away and brought him to his feet. Draco watched him as the boy conjured bandages for his arm and picked up his shirt. The whole of the Gryffindor house watched in mute shock, unable to process what was happening.

“Harry, you don’t seriously bel-” Ron began, but Harry turned around and shot him a look. He cut his sentence short in confusion and stared at his best friend.

“I’m taking him to Dumbledore. You should all go to sleep,” he advised, looking around the room. “I won’t be back for a while. Sorry to have woken you all up.” Without another word, he lead Draco out of the portrait hole and down, through the castle to the entrance to Dumbledore’s office.

“You don’t believe me…” Draco mumbled as they stood in front of the statue of a phoenix. Harry shook his head.

“I don’t have any real reason to believe you,” he began, bringing his hand up to caress Draco’s cheek. “But I do believe you, despite myself. I’m taking you to Dumbledore because he is the only protection I can offer you. As long as he believes you, you will be safe…. And you can be with me…” Draco nodded to him and tentatively kissed the Gryffindor before him. Harry accepted and pulled into it, wanting to feel Draco’s body pressed against him again.

“I love you,” Draco whispered again when Harry broke their embrace. “I really, really do.” He leaned in to kiss Harry again, but the other boy stopped him. His face was pained and worried.

“Not now,” he murmured as though it was taking all of his determination to stop himself. “We need to talk to Dumbledore.” Draco swallowed hard and nodded in agreement. Harry whispered the password and immediately the statue sprung to life and stepped aside, allowing them entrance into the Headmaster’s office.

“Professor, we need your help,” Harry began slowly, once Dumbledore had opened the door for them. He seemed only mildly surprised to see the two said enemies standing side by side.

“Come in Harry, Draco,” he told them, motioning for them to enter. “What is the problem?” Draco’s eyes were cast downwards. He could not look into the Headmaster’s eyes, not right now.

“Draco needs the protection of the Order,” Harry stated rather blatantly. Draco looked up quickly. He was confused and a little apprehensive. His fear must have shown on his face because Harry immediately touched his arm softly in reassurance. Dumbledore looked thoughtfully at the both of them.

“That is a serious request,” he began. “You must know the dangers of asking something so serious in the presence of a non-member. Harry, what is so urgent?” Potter nodded to him.

“He is a Death-Eater and…” Harry did not know how to continue. Draco stepped up.

“Maybe I should tell you the whole story,” he suggested. Dumbledore nodded to him and called up two chairs for them to sit. Draco took his seat and stared at the floor for a long moment.

“Take your time,” the Headmaster assured him. Malfoy took a deep breath and began.

“In the summer of our fourth year, You-Know-Who came back to power, just like I’m sure you knew.” Draco looked from Harry to Dumbledore. “My father was called to his side and immediately returned to his services. Once that happened, they decided that it would be a good idea to have young recruits among their forces. They wanted to have students inside Hogwarts to gather inside information and so that they might infiltrate the school more easily. Naturally, my father was the first to offer me up as a sacrifice.

“I was naive and impressionable. I thought I wanted to follow in my father’s footsteps, to keep up the Malfoy name and bring pride to my family. I was stupid. I signed up willingly and began training with my father and some of the other senior Death-Eaters. I learned, along with several other students, many advanced and terrible curses. They taught us the Unforgivable curses as well and told us to practice on one another so that we might perfect them. Naturally we didn’t practice the killing curse on one another. We practiced that one small farm animals at first. We never made the move up to humans.

“By last summer I had finished my training and was formally inducted into their ranks. I was branded with the Dark Mark,” he said, undoing the bandages that Harry had placed upon him to prove his point. “And I was made into a full Death-Eater. Just before school began, I was given my appointment to meet with the Dark Lord himself and receive my task.

“It was only when I got to the waiting room before I was to meet him that I came into any realization as to what was happening. There had been so much security and preparation just to get me to the meeting place. I wish I could tell you where it was and where he has his base, or whatever, but I’m afraid I was magically bound and blindfolded. I can only describe the rooms I was in to you.

“In any case, I didn’t have much time to come to terms with what I had become before I was ushered into a small dark room. I was surrounded by other Death-Eaters, all wearing black cloaks and masks, and I stood before You-Know-Who himself. I followed the instructions I was given in how to address him and look at him. I was not to look into his face unless told to do so. I was not to even look up at him at all unless told to. I was to treat him like a god, generally.

“He began with a spiel about loyalty and his impending rise to power and how all his followers will be well rewarded for their contribution to his end and how he would not tolerate betrayal. He spoke of several instances where Death-Eaters had rejected their position and fled the Dark Lord but were always caught and killed in the end. It was a rather intimidating speech and, now that I think of it, probably largely meant to brainwash me in some way.

“After this whole ritual, he presented me with my task.” Draco stopped here, hesitant to continue and fully reveal what it was he was supposed to do in front of Harry. Dumbledore nodded to him, taking in all the information.

“What was your task, then, Draco?” the Headmaster asked finally. Draco swallowed and looked away from Harry.

“I was to get close to Harry Potter, by whatever means necessary, and gain his trust so that I might lead him into a trap set by the Dark Lord and, ultimately, to his death.” Draco fell very silent after this and refused to look at Harry at all. He felt ashamed and afraid.

“I see, though as you are both here right now, asking for my help, I assume something has occurred that has given you a change of heart.” It was really a question, though it did not sound like one at all. Draco nodded slowly.

“I went about my mission determinately at first,” he began again, this time with more difficulty. “I…. chose a rather unorthodox way of approaching Harry and I managed to slowly bring him to trust me… well sort of.” Dumbledore made a gesture of understanding.

“I see, then what changed?” Draco paused for a moment. He did not know whether he felt comfortable admitting this to the Headmaster, though he knew he had no choice.

“I fell in love with him,” he answered quietly. “And then Harry found out I was a Death-Eater. He pushed me away, naturally. He would refuse to see me at all. I realized the truth about myself during that time, mind you. I realized that I was more bothered by how much I knew I had hurt him than by how I had screwed up my plan.

“I told my father that I was not going to go through with my task and that Harry knew I was a Death-Eater. I told him that I wanted no more part in the whole thing. He showed up to Hogwarts a week and a half ago with McNair. They caught me and chained me up in some kind of room. They tortured me for a while and tried to use the Imperius curse on me. They tried to force me to go through with my mission, but I fought back and the curse broke. I told my father that I would not be like him anymore. He attacked me again and let me drop to the floor. I don’t really remember what happened after that, I blacked out.

“When I woke up, my mark had turned red. I was told that means that I’m a traitor and will eventually be killed. I….” Draco paused, clutching his bleeding arm, rather ashamed of his reaction. “I tried to cut it off…. It didn’t work. It just started bleeding a lot. I tried to burn it too. To make it into a different shape or destroy the magic behind it or something. I don’t know what I was thinking, really. That didn’t work either though. After that I ran to the only place I could think. I ran to the only person who might believe me and want to protect me…I ran to Harry.”

“I brought him to you, Professor,” Harry added, his voice quiet and calm. “I thought that if anyone could keep him safe, you could.” Dumbledore gazed quietly at the two of them for a long moment before getting to his feet.

“Mr. Malfoy I believe you are in some serious trouble,” he stated. Draco got up as well, almost afraid he was going to be handed over to the Ministry. “It is hard, in this war of wizards, to know who is genuine in their requests and who is simply abusing of the kindness of the good. However, just as I saw something different in Professor Snape’s eyes when he came to me for help, I have seen something in yours. I shall set up the proper arrangements to allow you entrance into the Order. We will do all we can to protect you, Draco. I believe that is something that Voldemort would not afford his own followers.” Dumbledore smiled at Draco to reassure him. He smiled back at the Headmaster and nodded. “As for tonight, I do not think you should stay in your dorm.”

“He can stay with me, Professor,” Harry tempted, though he flushed a soft pink in doing so. Dumbledore gave him a strange but bemused look from over his half-moon spectacles.

“No, Harry, the houses are too obvious. That and we cannot be putting all the other students in jeopardy.” Dumbledore looked at the clock. “I believe tonight you should stay in the room of Requirement, Draco.” Harry’s eyes widened. “I believe Harry here knows this room well and can lead you there easily enough. I will set up special protections around the room for the night, though it is already exceedingly safe.”

“Thank you very much, Professor,” Draco bowed his head to the old wizard. Dumbledore nodded to him and ushered them out of the room.

“Draco, do you mind waiting out here for a moment while I have a word with Harry?” Draco nodded and waited outside the door.

“Thank you, professor… I realize that this is a lot to ask for your protection on such short notice,” Harry said, a little embarrassed. “I know it must also be hard to believe given so little proof and all.” Dumbledore put a reassuring hand on Harry’s shoulder.

“All the proof I needed was presented to me right here,” he said. Harry looked up, confused.

“So you believe him, just like that?” Dumbledore smiled.

“It is not so much that I believe Mr. Malfoy so easily, but I believe that you would never offer such protection and care to someone you honestly believed would hurt you so deeply as Draco claimed he was supposed to.” Harry looked confused. “Indeed, after all he has done to you, after how deeply he betrayed your trust, you still brought him to me in an effort to save his life. I do not take that kind of gesture lightly.”

“So, you are offering to protect him because of me?” Harry asked, unable to mask his blush.

“I’m not actually protecting him at all,” Dumbledore admitted happily. “I’m simply offering him a safe place to stay, away from his father and his pursuers.” Harry opened his mouth several times to say something, but couldn’t find the words.

“But, then what’s protecting him from Voldemort?” Dumbledore smiled knowingly.

“You, Harry, should know better than anyone that the strongest protection is not anything the average witch or wizard can perform with a wand, but in fact something that comes from much deeper inside; a much more ancient magic.”

“Professor…” Harry started.

“You are protecting him, Harry. You are protecting him by loving him, despite your better judgment, despite your hurt, despite your logic. You are protecting him better than I ever could.”


A/N: Thanks for the lovely reviews! They make me so happy, hehee. I hope you enjoyed this chapter and Chapter 10 and 11 are already done, so if the feedback is good, I'll keep posting! Chapter 10 is really worth it I think because, well, there is some "action" in there. Anywho, thanks a lot!