Saving your life

Worried? Well, that had to be an understatement.

She was past concern, past worry; she didn’t know what she was feeling anymore. It had been almost a week, and she had no idea what else to do.

At first, it had bothered her, she had just assumed he was being a bastard, and even if she didn’t like it, she could understand, especially coming from him.

After the night they had attacked Grimmauld Place he had taken her with him. It had been different and there was no denying that. For the first time he wasn’t touching her because someone was watching, because he had to make it look real; he was doing it because that was what he wanted, at least she thought so.
Then, just as it had started it stopped, and he had almost kicked her out the next second. She couldn’t help feeling confused, hurt.

After getting dressed, she had finally used her portkey to go back to headquarters, only to find everyone relieved to see she was alright. Apparently, they had been looking for her everywhere. After they had all gotten back from Grimmauld Place and realized she was missing, they started thinking maybe one of the Death Eaters that had gotten away had taken her with them.

She was relieved to learn no one from the Order had been seriously injured. A couple of them would have to spend a few days at St. Mungo’s, but other than that, they were alright. She knew much of that was thanks to Snape.

Apparently, a few more Death Eaters had entered Grimmauld Place after she had left, but they had escaped before the Order could stun them. Seventeen men were left behind, soon to be sent to prison, one had died and only three or four had gotten away.

The next days they had been really busy. Some members were questioning the Death Eaters along with Ministry workers, and everyone else had gone back to Grimmauld Place, and was working on repairing the damage.

Even when she was busy, she couldn’t help thinking of him. She had been hoping he would try to contact her, but hadn’t heard from him yet.

She had been feeling more and more uncomfortable around people the last few days. She noticed she was getting lots of attention, and most times as she walked into a room they would stop talking, and she was sure they had been talking about her. They hadn’t asked about her informant again, but she knew they were all thinking about it, and so she spent more and more time alone in her bedroom, or outside with Harry and Ron. Unlike everyone else, they were acting as usual around her, and for that, she was grateful.

Still, as the night came, she would quickly forget about it all. The only thing in her mind was him. Even when she knew that she should be angry at him for the way he had treated her that night she felt a tingle go through her body every time she thought about him.

Deep inside she had been hoping he would write her, ask her to meet him somewhere, and even go find her. She wanted to see him again, to feel him again. She wanted him to kiss her, to touch her as he had before. She knew she shouldn’t want that, knew it was too dangerous, but still…

After the first few days passed without any news from him, she started feeling worried. Thinking back to the night of the attack, she remembered something she had paid no attention to before. When he had asked her to leave, she had seen him reach for the Dark Mark in his arm and had seen pain on his face.

What if that had been the reason he had left? Maybe Voldemort was calling him.

Then she really felt afraid for him. She knew he had been in charge of the attack, and they had failed. His Lord had lost many Death Eaters that night, so what if he blamed him for it? What if he was hurt, what if he was dead? She had to know, she had to help him. But how?

The first thing that came to her mind was the parchment he had given her. He had told her to use it if she needed to contact him; she was glad she hadn’t used it before.
She ran up to her room, grabbed it and started looking for a quill. What would she write? What if someone else read it? She could get him in even more trouble if so.

After giving it some thought she decided she would just write ‘are you there?’ and see what happened. If someone other than him wrote back she would just destroy the parchment, but there was also a chance he would read it, and then she would know if he was ok, and she would stop worrying.

After writing the message, she stayed there, sitting in her chair and just looking at the parchment. The line she had written was gone, but nothing else appeared. After almost an hour, she finally rolled the parchment and put it in her pocket, but spent most of the day checking for an answer, every time she was sure she wouldn’t be seen.

By the end of the day, she was even more worried than before. She kept telling herself maybe he’d just thrown his piece of parchment away, or lost it, that she shouldn’t worry, he’d probably contact her when he needed to. Still, she couldn’t calm down.

The next day the Weasleys were going to Diagon Alley. They needed to buy some things and stopping at the twins’ shop as well. She knew it was a long shot, but decided to go with them. Maybe she’d see him there; maybe he couldn’t find her at headquarters and would meet her in a public place.

She wandered the streets all afternoon, but there was no sign of him anywhere. As they got back she decided she’d have to come up with a plan, anything. She needed to find him.

The first logical place to look would be his house, but she had no idea where it was, she had only been there for a few minutes. Besides, anyone could be there it would be too dangerous.
The next place she could think of was that cabin where Malfoy had attacked her. He’d used it before to meet her, had been there twice. Maybe he had left her a message there or something.

That very afternoon she talked to Harry. She needed his invisibility cloak, so if there was someone there, other than Snape, she wouldn’t be seen. Of course, he had wanted to know where she was going and why she needed it. Getting him to just trust her was getting harder; she knew he was worried about her. He had even offered to go with her, but finally relented and gave her the cloak.

She left the place, covered herself with the cloak and Apparated near the cabin. She looked around, trying to see if there was anyone around and then walked to the window. The place seemed empty, and as she entered, she noticed everything looked just like it had the last time she had been there. There was no sign of him anywhere.

She was running out of ideas and she knew it. There was only one place left that she could think of, the forest in Ireland.

She knew she wasn’t supposed to go there, but she was too worried to care about that. He had told her he sometimes went there to hide, so if he was hurt there was a chance he could be there. She needed to know.

The main problem was she didn’t know exactly where the place was, since he had Apparated them both the one time she had been there. After giving it careful thought, she decided she would try it anyway. Perhaps if she concentrated on the house she wanted to see, instead of a location, it would work all the same.

She closed her eyes and focused. Nothing. She tried it a second time. Nothing. Almost losing all hope she gave it a last try. She closed her eyes again, and thought about the house alone. She pictured it in her mind, the dirty walls, and the roof with holes in it… She kept that image for a few moments, then took a deep breath and tried it again, only this time she did feel the familiar sensations that came from Apparating.

She opened her eyes and was relieved to see the house in front of her.

Making sure the cloak covered her completely she reached for the handle and carefully opened the door. After waiting a few seconds to make sure no one had heard her she walked inside and closed it again
.
Quietly she started searching through every room, but there was no sign of him. She had gone through most of that floor when she heard a noise above. It sounded like something falling, and then silence again.

She went up the stairs, wand at the ready and trying not to make any sound. Things were scattered around everywhere, and she gasped when she noticed a fresh trail of blood on the floor.

All care was soon forgotten as she followed the trail at a run, all the way to the room she knew was his. She froze in place at the scene in front of her. He was there, lying on the floor, covered in blood. He wasn’t moving.