Adventures In Life Drawing

ADVENTURES IN LIFE DRAWING PRESS JUNKET 2!

(The crowd of reporters settle down into their seats and take out their quills, ready to ask their questions. Harry, Ron, Hermione, Draco, Remus, Sirius and Snape all file into the room and take their seats at the front, all taking turns to glare at Davenrood, who has made them assemble here to share the precious secrets of their lives with strangers.)

PRESS: Harry, we thought that you liked Snape. Has this changed?

HARRY: "Not exactly... I still think he's good looking, and I still think there has to be more to him than meets the eye, but the fact remains that he'd never have me. He hates me, he's a bastard to me, and he thinks I'm an idiot kid. Something crazy would have to happen before I'd attempt to start anything with him."

PRESS: Crazy things happen all the time... right? RIGHT!

RON: "Err... yeah. You could say that again. It is DAVENROOD writing this, afterall."

(The reporters lets out a releived sigh.)

PRESS: So there is a possibility of something happening between Snape and Harry?

HERMIONE: "Who knows... uncloud your mind! Look into the future!" (laughs good-humoredly)

PRESS: A two-part question for Draco. Firstly, you are straight, aren't you?

DRACO: "I thought we answered this in the last Press Conference... (sighs) Yes, I am straight."

PRESS: Second, since you are straight, why are you so interested in the fact that Harry likes you?

DRACO: "I'm just new to the idea of a guy having a crush on me. If Harry does have a crush on me, that is. Seeing as I haven't directly asked him, I have no way of knowing for sure. I'm not a mind reader, you know."

PRESS: Snape, why are you such a bastard to Harry?

SNAPE: "It's a long story. I'd be willing to get over it if Potter wasn't such a disrespectful, sarcastic brat with no regard for rules."

PRESS: You mean... like Draco?

SNAPE: "Draco is a nice young man who is a hard worker and can do no wrong. Except he seems to have hit his head because I don't know what he sees in Potter. Potter is going to be a bad influence. I can tell."

PRESS: Draco, this may be beating the dead flying horse, but are you sure that you maybe aren't bisexual? You seem awfully fond of Harry.

DRACO: "For the love of all that is sacred! He's my friend. Of course I'm fond of him! But that doesn't mean that I'm looking for more out of it."

PRESS: And that is why you invited Harry to go skinny dipping?

DRACO (turning red): "Well - I - you see... I thought... Oh, sod off!"

(He throws his fist down against the table and runs out.)

HARRY (to the press): "Where did you all get your training? The Rita Skeeter School for Nosing Into People's Business?" (He gets up and leaves, along with a disgruntled Ron and Hermione.)

HERMIONE: "I'm leaving before they start asking about me and Ron."

PRESS: Remus, what is the Wizarding community's take on homosexuality?

REMUS: "I'd say it's generally accepted."

SIRIUS: "We've never had the problems that you hear about Muggles having. I think it's because Wizards and Witches know what it's like to be looked down upon and thought of as freaks of nature."

REMUS: "Although I wish they felt that way about those with lycanthropy."

SNAPE: "Better gay than a werewolf."

(Sirius and Remus both glare at Snape. Sirius removes a photo from his pocket.)

SIRIUS: "Oh... what's this? Is anyone interested in seeing this? I promise you that it's juicy!"

PRESS: Ten galleons!

SNAPE (his eyes bulging): "No! You dirty... Twenty galleons!"

PRESS: Fifty!

SNAPE: "Seventy five!"

PRESS: One hundred!

SNAPE: "One hundred and fifty galleons!"

SIRIUS: "Sold!" (He hands it to Snape, whispering) Don't worry, I still have others."

(Snape looks murderous.)

PRESS: One last question. Davenrood, why are you doing this to us!

DAVENROOD: Because I think the new plot idea was more entertaining than the old one. I know some SS/HP fans will be upset. Heck, I'm an SS/HP fan. But I'm trying to write this where I can go with the new idea and still throw some sshp action in. Will this be appeasing at all, SS/HP fans? Let me know in a review so I can get the next chapter up! Thanks for coming out!

(Snape, Sirius and Remus all raise an eyebrow at Davenrood.)

SIRIUS: You're welcome, although I don't know what us coming out of the closet has to do with anything.