Tainted Soul

Viktor knocked on her door and waited for her to answer it. Rose knew that he would be mad. He loves her so much and she could feel it every time he touched her. The way he looked at her and now she would be breaking his heart. She opened the door and looked at him. This time when he looked at her she seen something that she had never seen in his eyes before. She saw the promise of pain. She went to close the door but he pushed his way through it and threw her to the floor. “You think I don’t know what you are up to you whore? You think I am stupid enough to not watch out for you” I seen Snape leaving your room and he had a satisfied smile on his face. Just couldn’t say no could you? You slut. Even now you spread your legs for everyone but me.”



She stood and walked backwards to her wand. “I don’t know what you are talking about. We were talking about Seth. He is his father.”



“Your bastard child that is going to turn out just like you.” He growled to her.



She picked up her wand and looked at him. “What is wrong with you Viktor this isn’t you? I know that this isn’t you. Why are you acting this way?”



He slammed the door and stepped towards her but the moment that he did she had him in a binding spell. She knew that something was wrong. She just didn’t know what it could be. She flooed Dumbledore and he rushed out of the fireplace seconds later. “I don’t know what is wrong with him Dumbledore but I know that this isn’t him. This isn’t Viktor.”



Dumbledore looked at Viktor and shook his head. He has been drugged. The potion he was given is called Hyde. Since he was a nice guy the moment the potion hit his system he became a angry monster. He would have killed you if you didn’t put the bind on him. I fear that you are found out. This means that your life is in danger. I think that you and Seth should be taken to a safe house.”



“Seth is no longer in my hands. Snape has agreed and he is safer with his father. But why must I leave now? I don’t need to leave Dumbledore I need to go after who is trying to kill me. I need to stop letting others fight for me and fight for myself. And I cannot do it locked away somewhere because everyone else is scared that I can’t handle this. I can and you all should know that.” She said to him.



“This isn’t for the reason you believe. Voldemort wants you back or dead. But he will not allow you to live free. You aren’t as powerful as you should be Rose. We all know that it is because of what you have gone through but if I know that you won’t be safe until you get through this.” He said to her softly.



“Then I will get through it all in one night if I have to. I will not be but in the back to be protected anymore. I want my life back Headmaster and you and no one in these worlds will stop me from getting it back!” She growled to him.



“You cannot force yourself to do something like that Rose. You can’t force your self to go through all that pain in one night. Not alone.” He said to her.



“Then you get me who I need to do this because I am tired of fearing everything and everyone in my life. I want to take it back Dumbledore. No one is going to stop me from doing it.” She hissed as she walked over to the window.



“Are you sure about this Rose. Do you think that you can do this in one night with the people you need with you? Because I don’t want you to do at all but you are right I can’t stop you from doing it. I’ll take Viktor and go talk to everyone about this. Think about it sweetie because I know we don’t want to lose you again like we did before. None of us will be able to handle it this time.” He said as Viktor started to float.



She said nothing as he left but she knew that he was right she had to think about this. This was her life she was talking about. But if it meant death because she couldn’t deal with it then she will go through with it. She will not hide anymore. No one will stop her from doing this. No one but herself. It scared her because she knew tht the only way to deal with it all in one night was to take everyone with her into her memories and relive them all in one night. Will she be abe to put herself through that again? All she knew was that if she didn’t try she would be hidden away from the world until Voldemort was killed.



She sat down at her desk and sighed. Then she wrote a letter to her son and Snape. She knew that if she died Snape would do right by Seth. As she wrote tears slipped down her cheeks. It was the first time that she was glad that she could cry. The pain was so much that she had to allow the tears. As she told her son the truth of her life she felt the pain begin to lessen and she knew that she was doing the right thing. This was the right thing to do. She couldn’t allow herself to live like this any longer. She wanted who she really is back and she knew that the person she is now isn’t her.



She wondered what it would be to know what it would feel like to look at the man she truly loved and not to feel pain or hate. Could this have her in love with him again. Could they live a life together after all of this? Deep in her heart far from her mind she prayed that they could. She wanted to love him and she wanted to have him love her and this will help it she just knew that it would.



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“What we cannot allow her to do this. It will kill her.” Harry said as he paced around the office.



“This isn’t our choice. You were the one that wanted her to freely choice to get over this. Now she is asking for our help and I believe that she truly wants this over with. To have her back the was will be great. I know that this isn’t the plan but she is in danger and she will not allow us to hide her away. She knows her powers are weak because of this and she knows the dangers of doing this. But this is her choice. You all said that you would be behind her in everything she did to get through this. This is the moment that you can prove yourself. Harry I know the fears you are having because we all are having them too. To be fearful for her isn’t wrong. But not being there for her will make those fears come true. She will do this with or without our help.” Dumbledore said to them.



Harry looked at him and shook his head. “This is wrong and I will not stand behind this. I will not put her through this and that is what we are doing if we allow this to happen.”



“You think I want her to do this? I don’t. I never wanted her to feel the pain in the fist place. But you as well as everyone else knows that if she doesn’t get better we will not be focused on the mission we must do. To have her fight by our side instead of being hid away will be an advantage to our side.” Ron said to him.



“You are really thinking about allowing her to do this? I thought I knew you Ronald.” Harry growled.



“Everyone shut up and listen to me. We are too late. She ahs entered her memories without us. She wasn’t going to allow us to do this anyways. Rose will rather die then to put any of us through that pain. And believe me that is all those memories are made of. Pain, hate and horror.” Lupin growled loud enough to make everyone look at him.



“We have to stop her.” Harry shouted.



“There is no stopping her Harry. All we can do is wait and see if she comes out alive or dead.” Dumbledore said as the bowl of her memories and a scroll appeared on his desk.



Snape snatched up the scroll before anyone else could grab it. He opened it and looked at the letter. Suddenly her voice was heard. “Dear Friends, I know that you all are mad at me and that many of you don’t like this but I cannot allow you to see the hell I have gone through. I can and will do this. I will be alive when I come out of here and I will be able to move through this and live my life. A life I should have had all along. To be with my friends. To love the man I love who is the father of my son. The life that was stolen from me. But I am taking it back. I am taking the power they have over me back. This isn’t what I wanted at first but I know that this is the right way to do this. I know that my life has been stolen from me for too long. Now I will live it and like I told Dumbledore no one will stop me from doing this.



I know that there is a chance that I will not be able to make it out alive. And if that happens. I am sorry that I failed all of you. I am sorry that I failed my son. Snape will have my son if I don’t make it. It is his right as his father. I will not say a long sappy goodbye now. You all will be given letters in case my death does happen here. There you will here my voice one last time before I say my goodbyes. I know that it isn’t fair because none of you will be able to say your goodbyes to me. But know that I know that I am loved. I just forgot that it was real. I love you all and I will see you all real soon so please do not hate me for this.

Love you al forever,

Rose.”



“She really means to do this.” Hermione said softly.



“I am so proud of her.” Lupin said suddenly.



Everyone looked at him surprised and he smiled. “She has realized that no matter what she has us. She isn’t doing this for her. She is doing this for us. Don’t you see she knows how important she is to us. She wants to give us the greatest gift of all. She wants to give us the one thing we haven’t had in four years. HER!”