Tainted White

IMPORTANT_ all of you who do not appreciate un_betaed chapters, do not read this one. My Beta is unfortunately not able to help me at the time, so....you must suffer my well known English mistakes. In adittion....is there an interest in being a temporary beta for Tainted White? Please leave your e_mail.....

For those of you who will proceed with the chapter....enjoy and ....do review ^___^



CHAPTER NINE


What now?

Hermione was furious........Just comes and goes.......

'How do you feel Hermione?
Did it ache too much when he pulled you to him...to that body you secretly worship?
Did the heat burn through your skin again?
Your mind colapsed again...when you felt him so close.
Your heart screamed when he didn't kiss you...
Do you hate him for it?

How is it that the tears he makes you cry make the fire burning wilder?
Where is the sense in that?

Wont you stop it already? Wont you stop being a coward? Stop being a hypocrite....
Stop lying...
ADMIT it....admit that you are not sorry.
That noone ever made you feel like he did....noone else could.'

The girl in the huge bedroom was sitting on the floor...not realizing that she was crying...pulling her hair...She couldn't hear her own voice that was shouting 'NO!' repeatedly....she couldn't hear it because the voice in her head was louder.

So much louder.

She covered her ears, fiercefully....desperate for silence. But it made no difference.

'Make peace with it Hermione....make peace with yourself....won't you say goodbye to everyone you loved?
Where are they now.....Hm?
Where?

Say goodbye Hermione.....leave them before they leave you. They will.....................................you know they will leave you.
Because they will see it the moment you reach their eyes....they will see it on your face...just like he did, a moment ago.
They will see that you belong to him now.

And you are not even sorry for it.
Are you?
Honestly?'

Hermione pressed a little button next to her bed.

She was going mad.

He left her hanging...again... no explanations...
She was sick of it. Of walking in circles without any sight of a way out. Way out of this mess.

Martha apeared momentarly.

' Ms, I shouldn't be here...'

'Enough. Close the door.'

Martha did... and looked at Hermione waiting for the next command.

'We are going to talk. You and me. I will ask questions, you will respond. I've had enough. Same as you...I believe.'

Martha nodded.

'I want to hear the story...from the begining....... Why am I here?'

Woman hesitated...silent. As if she was fighting herself.
Then decided ' Master tracked you down...after you were captured in the battle. He, he made sure noone gets to you before he did...and especially not...' She looked helpless

Hermione had no patience for this ' Voldemort.'

'Yes...He sent Jack to pick you up...buy you...And get you to the Manor.
They planed it for some time....he and Jack...that's why the clothes was waiting for you...the room and the books....
Master took care of it all.'

Hermione looked at her...horrified...confused...curious...angry...'What? Wh....Why?'

'I don't know for sure, Ms'

'WHY? Why did he take me away from my life? Was it a joke? It was, wasn't it? It's hate that motivated his actions,right? As always. ANSWER ME!'

'Tell me it was a game...tell me it was hate....'

'You still don't know him.' Martha said and looked at her.

' Damn you! I don't want to know him...I want him out of my life....I want out. '

' I want him out of my mind....out of me.'

Martha smiled ' Then why don't you act like it?'

Hermione was furious....' So, you think I don't act like it? Why Martha? You judge me by that night...I was not myself that night...' ...and the voice again...laughing in her head... 'Hermione....who are you lying to?'.
This was heading in a direction that Hermione was not comfortable with. ' Does Voldemort know that I'm here? '

Martha shook her head. Tears began forming in her eyes. They did not go unnoticed.

'Martha please...tell me what is it?'

'It was that night he came back really late...you remember it, don't you...when he was...'

'Bleeding?'

' Yes...he, The Dark Lord knew that you were missing....from the wizarding world...everyone knew...and he... It was because of you....Dark Lord attaced him, because he realized that Master knew something...and was very angry but not strong enough to get into Master's mind....He wanted him to find you and bring you to him....to use you to get Harry Potter. Master...'

Hermione felt weakness taking over her...She could not conect the words that came from Martha's mouth. But she needed her to finish...to say it all.

She'll understand it later.

'Master disobeyed him....and that's why...he...he came back the way he did.'

Hermione felt there was more.

It just hung there between them.

The rest of it...the rest of the truth...' Martha...you're not telling me everything.'

' I can't miss...I really can't.' She got up and headed towards the door.

'Please...I have to know...look at me......please.......let me know.'

Martha turned around ' Do you still hate him?'

She asked the question...the question Hermione was so afraid of.

She didn't want to know the answer. Because she was scared that it might be 'no'.

'No.' Came out loud. It left her terrified.

But it made Martha's expression determined. She sat the girl down and got next to her, took a deep breath and started
' I will tell you all. But you must promise that you won't say a word to him.
It is a hard truth. The kind that will leave you restless. He must not know that I told you.
Promise me. '

' I do.'

Martha looked at her once more and said ' That night, Master was healed emediately. He did a strange thin then. He called Jack and told him where Dark Lord is, also weakened from their fight. He told him to go to your friend's house...and say it to him. ' Hermione forgot to breath. She tightened the grip on Martha's arm as the woman continued

' We thought that he was delusional...from the wund and healing and potions...but he was determined. He said that Harry Potter is noble enough not to torture Jack to find out who sent him. And Jack went. He found Mr Potter...and revealed Dark Lord's hiding place to him. Mr Potter did not ask questions. '

Thoughts were rushing through her head. So fast, that she was not able to catch and recognize them all.

Martha continued. ' That was The night...Final battle. '

Hermione's eyes filled with tears . It happened...and she was not there to help them. 'No...'

'Then it was...it was the truth...Ron and Harry are ...' She shook her head...tried to shake the words out. Last traces of hope that were still burning in her broken heart ....just died. The voice was silent.....

She felt Martha's hands cupping her face, and stilling her head. She made her look at her. Woman smiled before she whispered

' The Light won.'

Before Hermione was capable to process it, Martha added slowly.

'Mr Potter and Mr Weasly...are both alive.'