In the Closet

Disclaimer- I do not own Harry Potter or anything else that is not mine.

* Author’s Note * - Thanks for the wonderful reviews!! Kind of long with the response to reviews for the last chapter.

Given2Fly- Thanks for the encouragement! :) So you think the cliffhanger was that bad huh? lol

Hanna Delacour- Thanks I am glad that you are enjoying it. Lol Sorry about the cliffhanger, I wonder how you’ll feel at the end of this.

Dreamweaver- Thanks I am glad you think so. I am so glad this site it up again!

Sanaa- Thanks and I am sure there will… :)

Kay- That’s cool that you had the same idea! Thanks!

Fiona- Thanks that’s really nice to hear!

MysticAngel77- Thanks! I would have put more description into how they were feeling and thinking but I felt that I already got my point across on how they felt. I didn’t want to over word it (that always makes me nervous). As for the description on their thoughts they were too mad to think. Lol I hope that made sense but thank you so much for the insight! It’s funny, when I was in my teen years I was much different than most. In a way I feel I project a little too much of how I was into my characters. I never made any stupid decisions that I would later regret. I always thought things though, perhaps a little too much. Lol but my parents never complained. They always say how lucky they were with me. I believe in karma and I hope my kids are like me, but better. Lol

Thanks to Shardae, anne, firewall, blondiexoxo, Spoutnik, mona, Fialle, challenger, and to all the anons!! And to anyone else who has reviewed!!

You’re so awesome!!

I hope this chapter is all right. I am unsure about it in a way. Please keep in mind this is for fun, a little AU and the characterization is what it is, in or out I don’t really care. This was a challenge from a friend and I hope I do not disappoint. I've never written anything like this. Again, thank you to all who have reviewed, they were all wonderful, really. Please keep reviewing. I do love it. Like I have said before, it is encouraging to know how I did. I do not like to waste time or space. Constructive criticism is always more than welcome. As long as it is done nicely, there is no need to be harsh or insulting. There is a difference. The story plot is just something fun. I don’t want it to be completely canon. (That is what I find fun about fan-fiction, it doesn’t have to be.) If you want me to email you when I update let me know. Thanks and thanks to my beta!

(ed. I knew I forgot something, whoops. ) This chapter has not been gone over with my beta. He is on vacation for two weeks. He left me with a grammar book. lol I just didn't want you guys waiting that long. He will help fix everything when he gets back.
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Chapter Nine
Truth



“Milton…” Pansy began. “I think we should tell Draco the truth about his father.”

“Pansy the plan is working,” Milton replied.

“Not anymore. I think things have changed. Maybe the plan never would have worked. He’s probably still hung up on what his family thinks. I don’t know, but I do think he should know. Who’s he going to tell? What matter would it make if he wouldn’t say anything anyway?”

“Pansy, I wasn’t even supposed to tell you. If his father were to find out he would probably fire my father and my father would never trust me again. Confidential is confidential, no matter what it is.”

“I know, but Milton he needs to know the truth. He deserves that much,” Pansy reasoned. The last part repeated in her mind causing her to feel a little guilty. Milton deserved that much.

Milton stayed quiet for a moment before speaking.

“Your right. But Pansy, he can’t say anything.”

“I know he won’t.”

“You know I thought the plan was working. It really seemed like it was. I wonder what had happened that changed everything.”

“I don’t know,” Pansy said looking down. Milton headed toward the portrait to find Draco. Pansy could no longer suppress the guilt that was rising dangerously high. “Actually, Milton… I do.”

Milton stopped and turned around.

Harry and Ron headed down to the Great Hall telling Ginny about what had happened earlier.

“That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard!” Ginny laughed. “I’ll definitely be sorry for missing Malfoy flopping around like that for the rest of my life. Hey perhaps I could take a dip in one or your memories,” They laughed some more.” So have you seen Hermione since?”

“No,” Harry replied.

“She just kept going. We would have followed but we didn’t want to share the same fate. But I just don’t understand something,” Ron said.

“What’s that mate?” Harry asked.

“Things were different, with Malfoy I mean. He was… different. I know he’s Malfoy but he hasn’t been Malfoy. He’s been almost like a tolerable version of himself,” Ron tried to explain.

“To be honest, earlier I did believe he was resorting to his old ways. But after Hagrid class, I’m not so sure. It seemed as if something was bothering him. You know how he gets when his feelings, or should I say his ego, get wounded? It was like that but… I don’t know deeper maybe,” Harry added.

“Yeah, like it had something to do with Hermione. It did seem that it was mostly directed towards her, the way he has been today,” Ron agreed.

“Well haven’t you two been speculating that something has been going on between the two of them?” Ginny asked.

“Sort of. I mean, I don’t think they are secretly dating. But there seemed to be a… I don’t know, just something,” Ron answered.

“I know what you mean,” Harry agreed. “Ever since the beginning of term they have been flirting and hanging out quite a bit. I really thought they had feelings for each other. He’s even been civil, mostly anyway, with us.”

“Well perhaps you should talk to Hermione about it,” Ginny suggested.

“I suppose we can talk to her when we see her,” Harry said.

“Well here’s your chance because here she comes,” Ginny said nodding in Hermione’s direction.

Draco walked around the corridors, his clothing still damp, mulling things over. He felt sort of bad for snapping at Pansy like that, well about the whole truth thing that is. He understood why she couldn’t come out with that part of her. Having feelings for a muggleborn would be better accepted than a same-sex relationship in their society. Muggles from what he knew were still struggling with same-sex relationships in theirs. No matter how tolerant it seemed they had become, some of it was an illusion. He couldn’t imagine how the pureblood community would react to one of their own having a lesbian relationship with a muggleborn.

However, he for some reason had a hard time feeling bad about being upset with Pansy for hooking up with Hermione. How could she not know how he felt? He may not have said anything, but friends should just know. And he knew she knew.

His mind replayed the fresh memory of himself and Hermione right before they were interrupted, which was another reason he was pissed. How far would it have gone? How does she feel about it? How did he feel about it? He definitely didn’t want to stop that’s for sure. He’d been fantasizing for something like that to happen for sometime now. Well not the exact way it did, and it would have gone much further.

What had he done? What was he thinking? He couldn’t be with her. His father would more than disapprove.

Then Draco Malfoy realized he could have anything he wanted except for the thing he wanted the most. Perhaps if he threw a big enough fit he could get his way like he did as a child. Not likely.

Draco stopped dead in his tracks. He realized something else.

“I don’t care,” He said out loud and turned back around heading back the way he had come, causing two third years that he had been more than rude to earlier that day to jump at the site of him as he brushed past them.

Hermione saw her friends and contemplated if she wanted to talk to them right then or not. But seeing as they were already waiting for and looking straight at her, she felt she didn’t have much of a choice. She had already dried herself and didn’t need another reason to remember the event that had just happened. What had just happened?

“Just act like nothing is wrong. Act like everything is fine,” Hermione said barely audible to herself.

“Hey Hermione,” Ginny greeted.

“Hey,” Hermione grumbled. So much for acting like everything was fine.

“Hermione, are you alright?” Harry asked giving the same concerned look as the other two were giving her.

“Yeah sure. I’m fine,” Hermione replied.

“You don’t seem fine,” Ron pointed out.

Hermione just shrugged as she walked the rest of the way into the Great Hall with them following right behind her.

“Hermione, tell us what’s wrong,” Ginny said as they all sat down at their house table.

“It’s nothing,” Hermione said as she laid her head down on the table with a thud.

“Nothing?” Ginny began skeptically. “Does this have anything to do with Malfoy?”

Hermione only grunted in response.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Is it about earlier or did something else happen?”

“Memsonmeme,” Hermione mumbled. Ron and Harry looked at Ginny strangely hoping for some clarification. Ginny shrugged.

“Um, Hermione we couldn’t understand you,” Harry said attentively. Hermione lifted her head, hair falling in front of her face and covering it from view.

“It doesn’t matter,” Hermione said.

“If something is bothering you, especially if that something is Draco Malfoy, then yes Hermione it does matter,” Said Ron.

“Hermione, what’s going on? Tell us the truth. You like him don’t you? And what I mean by like I mean the strong more than friends type of like,” Harry demanded calmly.

“We hate him remember?” Hermione stated moving the hair from her face so she could she them better.

“Hate is a strong word. I wouldn’t say we hate him,” Ginny explained.

“I would,” Ron said.

“Ronald!” Ginny snapped sharply while Harry nudged him.

“What?” He mouthed.

“Look it’s true, what does it matter?” Hermione said.

“The point is do you hate him?” Harry asked.

“Ye… uh, well...nnn...I don’t know,” Hermione sounded defeated and exhaled looking down at her fingers that were fidgeting with the hem if her button up shirt.

“Well you have been rather chummy with him lately,” Ron acknowledged.

“What do you want me to say?” Hermione asked looking back up.

“Just the truth, no matter how hard it is to say,” Harry answered.

Hermione sat there quiet for a few moments pondering over her thoughts. The others sat patiently waiting for her to answer. She then nodded, ready to say what she really felt.

“Alright, the truth is… I like him. I like him a lot. More than a friend a lot. And it seems like that he feels the same way but I feel like he’s holding back. It’s no secret why he would. Perhaps something happened and that’s why he acted the way he did today,” Hermione confessed.

“So it was about you. With the way he was acting, especially toward you,” Ron confirmed.

“I’m not sure about that. But it did seem to be directed mostly at me. He was cruel to others but he was the worst to me,” Hermione said.

“Well maybe he’s fighting it, afraid to let himself like you. So he started to be mean to you, even worse than he was before. So naturally he was nasty to everyone else as well,” Ginny suggested.

“That makes sense,” Hermione agreed.

“You should probably talk to him,” Ginny encouraged.

“You want me to talk to him? To talk about how he feels?” Hermione asked skeptically and slightly bewildered.

“Yes, it’s probably the only way you two will be able to move on, in one way or another,” Ginny replied.

“One way or another? Are we encouraging her to have a relationship with him?” Ron questioned.

“Well Ron if it’s what she wants and it makes her happy, then yes.”

“But Ginny, it’s Draco Malfoy. Who could possibly be happy with him?”

“If she wants to be with him that’s her choice. All we can do is support her in any decision she makes. It’s not up to us. She doesn’t need our permission,” Ginny pointed out.

“It just doesn’t seem right! It’s Draco Malfoy!” Ron exclaimed then said more softly. “You do remember who he is, what he has done to us and who his father is right?”

“I have a perfect memory, Ronald Weasley. And again, what she does is her business. We are her friends and we should stick by her and her choices. She’d do the same for us.”

“But It’s Dr-a-co Mal-foy!” Ron stressed. “Friends don’t let friends walk straight into a disaster, an enemy, a… a… Draco Malfoy!”

Ginny just glared. Ron looked over at Hermione who was hanging her head. Now it was his turn to drop his head on the table with a thud. “Bloody hell,” escaped from Ron’s lips.

“Well, um…” Harry - who had been quiet for a bit - started. “What is it you want to do Hermione?”

“I don’t want to do anything you guys aren’t comfortable with. So I don’t know,” Hermione answered.

“Thank you!” Ron exclaimed.

“Ron!” Ginny warned.

“Look Hermione, I agree with Ron...”

“Ha,” Ron said toward Ginny cutting Harry off.

“However,” Harry continued. “I also agree with Ginny.” Ginny flashed a condescending smile at Ron. “If it’s what you want, we will support you. It’s… it’s not for us to decide what you do with your life. I can honestly tell you that I don’t care for him much… well not at all really. But we will make an effort for as long as he does. But I’m telling you if he does one thing, and I mean one single thing to hurt you in any way, I will be a force to recon with. And that’s not including Ron, Ginny or the rest of our friends and family. You ought to let him know that.”

“Really?” Hermione asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said and they shared a smile.

“Ron…” Hermione began.

“Yeah, well whatever. If it’s what you want. But I mean it too, forget forces or magic I will flat out kill him with my bare hands! … So yeah,” Ron surrendered still not happy with the idea.

“Well?” Ginny asked.

“Well what?” Hermione asked confused.

“What are you waiting for? Go talk to him!” Ginny said as she pointed to the door.

Hermione hesitated for a moment until she felt confident that they meant what they had said. She smiled and they smiled back. She nodded, got up and headed out of the Great Hall.

“What is it Pansy?” Milton asked as he stepped closer to Pansy.

“Milton… this is really hard for me to say,” Pansy replied not quite being able to look him in the eye.

“I’m not sure I understand what you are tying to say. Is it something I did? Did I do something wrong?” He asked concerned. She remained quiet for a moment not quite knowing the right words to say to him. So he spoke again. “Tell me, whatever it is, whatever I did, I’ll make it better. Pansy?”

He grabbed her hands. The gesture tore though her heart. How could she have done what she did? How could she tell this person what she did, and tell him how… what she was?

“This is going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Milton, promise me you won’t hate me for what I am. Promise me… you won’t hate me for what I’ve done, what I led you to believe. Promise me… promise me… that you won’t hate me,” Pansy said as tears broke though her voice and down her face.

Milton slowly let go of her hands and stepped back unsure of what she was going to say, if he even wanted to hear it. He kept silent. Pansy took a deep breath as she tried to calm herself for a moment so she could just say it and get it out of the way.

“Milton, I’m… oh I don’t even know how to say it. I haven’t really said it like this before. I am not even sure if I am saying it right. Milton, I’m gay,” She managed out. As the last word worked its way out to a shocked Milton it seemed to take her last breath with it. She didn’t inhale until he spoke.

“You mean…. you’re… you… I don’t understand. Us… we. What?” He put his hand over his face trying to work it all out in his mind. He started to pace then turned back to her. “So us, what’s that, what’s this!” He asked loudly motioning his hands between them.

“I don’t know,” She said softly.

“Tell me did I mean anything? Did we… what we did mean anything?” His voice quieted. He had to sit, so he did.

“Yes!” She said as she moved to sit next to him on the sofa. “Yes, every moment.”

“How? How could it Pansy?”

“I don’t know but it did. We do.”

“So let me understand. You’re into girls and yet there’s an us?”

“I know! It’s hard to explain. I like girls, but I like you. I’ve never liked any guys before, but you’re different. I can’t explain it, it just is,” She dropped her head into her hands. “Milton you can’t tell anyone. It would be the end of me.”

He stayed quiet and watched her cry into her hands. He moved closer to her and pulled her to him wrapping his arms around her.

“Pansy, I won’t say a thing. But tell me, what does this mean for us.”

She looked up at him, searching his eyes.

“What does this mean for us? Are you done with me?” He raised an eyebrow at her question.

“I thought you were done with me. Isn’t this what this is about. You telling me you can’t be with me?”

“What? No, if you want to try and make it work we can. I still want to get married if you do. But are you alright with me being… the way I am?”

“It’s a bit much, really. But for you I’d be willing. I really do love you. You do love me back right? I do do it for you, don’t I? Even if I don’t have the right… equipment?” Pansy couldn’t help but smile.

“Yes I do love you, I really do. And yes you get me hot,” He puffed up with this.

She laid her head down on his shoulder. They sat there for a couple of minutes.

“Pansy?” Milton’s voice broke the comfortable silence.

“Hmmm.”

“That doesn’t explain what had happened to the plan,” Her eyes widened.

“Well here we go,” She thought.

“Yeah, there’s a bit more.” She pulled away and turned to him. “Well you see there are only two other people who know about me, Draco and Millicent.” Milton nodded. “And you and I both know that Draco has a thing for Hermione even if he won’t admit it. Well I have another secret. I liked her too.” Milton furrowed his brow.

“I’m not sure I’m following, I mean I do but… just continue,” Milton urged.

“Well, yes I have been honestly trying to get them together. But I’ve also had urges to get to know her better. To make a long story short, she and I messed around,” Pansy waited for this to sink in.

“Wait, so let me get this straight. You and Hermione snogged and stuff.”

“Yes, more or less.”

“When was this?”

Pansy bit her lip. “Last night.”

“What!” Milton exclaimed as he shot up off the sofa.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! Please don’t be cross with me. Or her, she thought that we were just experimenting. It meant absolutely nothing to her,” Pansy said as she stood up next to him.

“What about you Pansy? What did it mean to you?” Pansy ran her hand though her straight black hair and turned away from him. “You don’t have to say anything, I already know. What’s funny is that things are starting to fit together. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before really. I feel so stupid. So stupid!”

“You’re not stupid!” Pansy protested.

“So let me guess Draco found out, am I right? He found out and that’s why he’s acting the way he is. Damn it Pansy!”

“I know I’ve screwed up.”

“It’s more than that. Do you want to be with me? Do you want to be with me ‘till death do us part? Are you willing to do that?”

“Yes,” Pansy said desperately. Milton turned his back to her for a moment then turned back to her.

“I think you need to sort this out with Hermione. You have to, before you and I can move on. I think you need to feel completely comfortable with us… with yourself. It’s something you need to move past first. I need to know that that chapter with the two of you is closed.”

“There’s no me and Hermione. It meant nothing to her,” Pansy didn’t want to tell Hermione.

“Maybe not to her, but it did to you. You need to talk to her. Make sure that you don’t keep thinking back on it and wondering what may have been if you had just said something.” Pansy surrendered then looked down and nodded. “I’ll be here when you work it out. Well I guess we both have to find someone to confess to.”

They started to head to the portrait that led out to reveal Draco approaching.

“Well mine is here. Oh and I think yours is heading this way as well,” Milton said to Pansy. He turned to Draco who had now reached them. “Come in mate, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Actually Milton I was looking for Granger. Do you think we can talk about whatever it is later?” Draco asked.

“No mate, I think you should hear this now. Right this way if you please,” Milton motioned toward the other side of the room. Draco raised an eyebrow but accepted.

They walked to where Milton had motioned as Pansy waited for a fast approaching Hermione.

Pansy took a deep breath.

“Well here it goes.”

“Hey Pansy I just saw Draco come in, oh there he is. And he’s talking to Milton,” Hermione said as she walked into the common room slightly disappointed at seeing this. “Perhaps I’ll just come back later.”

“Why later?” Pansy asked.

“I don’t want to intrude. I can talk to him later.”

“You live here, so why don’t you just wait? Never mind, it doesn’t matter anyway because I need to talk to you about something,” Pansy said to Hermione as they both glanced over to the guys.

“Um sure, what is it?” Hermione asked.

Pansy started to wring her hands together nervously. Hermione just looked at her curiously.

“You remember last night, right?” Pansy asked. Hermione nodded. Pansy continued. “Well, there’s something about me that not a lot of people know… Hermione I’m… I’m gay,” She continued cutting strait to the point not wanting to drag it out longer than needed.

“What?” Hermione asked confused. “I mean I understand, but what?”

“I told Milton the truth, and about what happened last night?’

“Pansy! You weren’t supposed to say anything! Oh my gosh!” Hermione whispered then put her hands over her face for a moment. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because he thinks that it was more than what it was… well for me.”

“For you?”

“Yeah he thinks it meant something to me and he wants me to sort things out with you before he and I can move forward.”

“Well, did it mean something… to you?”

“Hermione… what if I said it did? What if I said that it was something straight out of a fantasy? What would you say? Pansy asked.

“I don’t know what to say. Pansy I’m not that way. For me it was just what I thought it was to you, an experiment. That’s all Pansy… I’m so sorry. I really am,” Pansy looked down disappointed. She knew Hermione’s answer before she even said anything. It just hurt more than she thought it would when she heard it. “Are you okay?”

“It’s fine, really I’m fine.”

“Tell me something?” Hermione asked.

“What’s that?” Pansy answered.

“Why’d you do it? With me and to Milton?”

“I don’t know how to answer that,” Pansy replied quietly.

“It’s just that I don’t think that it was fair to have me on the side while you are with Milton.”

“It wasn’t my intention, really it wasn’t. I saw it as a one-time thing. At the time I didn’t think it was a big deal. You did do it too.”

“I know but it wasn’t in that way. I thought it was just to see what the big deal about it was, but looking back on it maybe it wasn’t the best decision. I’m sorry. But what if it did mean something to me and I wanted to continue it?” Hermione’s question really did have a point to it. What if Hermione did want a relationship? What would she have done? Pansy knew that she couldn’t have both of them. It wouldn’t be fair to either Hermione or Milton.

Pansy couldn’t find anything to say to that. Hermione nodded.

“So you’re going to stay with Milton, even if you’re, well not into guys?” Hermione asked.

“Of course. There’s no other man I could or want to be with,” Pansy replied.

“Who says that you have to be with a man? You are who you are.”

“I have to Hermione. What other choice do I have?”

“Be true to yourself. Be who you are. No one can tell you who you can and can’t be with. No one can tell you who you are or aren’t. No one can make you pretend to be someone you are not. In the end it’s your choice, you didn’t chose this, but it is your choice what you do with it.”

“Hermione I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not but I’m not a Gryffindor I’m a Slytherin. There are certain qualities that make us so different. I’m not going to come clean and tell everyone. I know you won’t say anything about me either, because you are a Gryffindor. That’s who you are and this is who I am. That’s that, nothing more to it.” Pansy softly said smiling.

“So you’re just going to stay in the closet then?”

Pansy gave Hermione a strange look.

“Sorry it’s a muggle saying, never mind. So he’s all right with this? You’re all right with this?”

“Yes, we are. We’ll be fine, probably better than ever. Especially after you and I cleared things up,” Pansy hoped anyway.

They shared a smile.

“While we are confessing. Tell me how do you feel about a certain Slytherin, that so happens to be standing over there next to my fiancé?” Pansy asked a now blushing Hermione. “You like him don’t you and don’t say you don’t cause I can tell.”

“Okay, okay. Yes I do like him. I like him a lot. That was the reason I was looking for him. I wanted to talk about us.”

“Good you two need to talk,” Pansy laughed. Hermione raised her eyebrow.

“So how will you be able to handle not being with a woman ever again?” Hermione asked curiously. Pansy shrugged.

“I’ll manage I guess.”

Hermione noticed a pair of scissors on the coffee table and went to grab them. Pansy gave her an inquisitive look.

“Look at all these dead ends I have. I really should cut them,” Hermione said as she started to cut off the ends of her hair and gather them in her hand

When Hermione was done she handed all the hairs to Pansy. Pansy looked at her strangely so Hermione explained.

“ With a certain potion that I recall was taught last year and if Milton is up to it, I’m sure you’ll find these useful,” Hermione said with a wink. Pansy sat there for a minute trying to catch on and then when she did she smiled.

“But your hair, it’s…” Pansy started but Hermione waved her off.

“Not a problem. I’ll just have Ginny tidy it up,” Hermione said as she looked at the uneven ends.

The girls looked over towards the guys in time to see Draco look over at Hermione. They made eye contact and both held until he looked away and stalked toward the Portrait and stormed out.

Hermione and Pansy shot inquiring looks at Milton who just stared at the portrait that Draco had just stormed out of.

Hermione turned and headed out after him…